True Loves (A Collection of Firsts)

by Michelle A. Valentine

  I shake my head, but before I can answer, I’m dragged away by the other arm. Noel’s eyes are hard when he looks at Riff. The pure hate doesn’t seem to faze Riff, though. He lifts his beer and gives Noel a small nod. Why do I feel as if I’m in the middle of a childish game of tug-of-war?

  I yank free of Noel’s grip. “What the hell?”

  Noel’s expression darkens. “I told you to stay away from him.”

  My arms fold over my chest. I’m ready for a fight. “I’m a big girl. I can talk to whomever I want.”

  He turns away and runs his hand through his hair. He opens his mouth as though he wants to say something then immediately closes it. I stare at him, waiting for his smart-ass reply. After a couple seconds, he turns back to me and holds out his hand. “Dance with me.”

  I flinch. “What? Are you psycho? There’s medication for that, you know.”

  Before I can think, he grabs me against his chest. “Psycho? No. A little crazy? Maybe.” He leans into my ear and says with a slight growl, “Dance with me.”

  The words cause my stomach to clench. I know he’s trying to break me down. The minute I give in and let him touch my body, it will want him. And I hate that he knows that. I shove his chest, putting personal space between us again, and take a long drink from my beer. Dancing with him definitely crosses the line. “No.”

  His brow furrows. “No?”

  Noel obviously doesn’t hear that word very often. “I’m here on business, not to”—I gesture toward the crowd—“let you grind all up on me.”

  Before he can say another word, I walk away and take an empty seat at the end of the bar. Noel watches me for a second, as though he’s debating whether to follow me or not, but I refuse to acknowledge his existence. Eventually, he gives up and heads toward the table the twins occupy. As soon as his ass hits the seat, a perky blonde plops down in his lap. He wraps his arm around her waist and takes a long pull from his beer bottle. She whispers in his ear. He nods and gives her that sexy-cocky grin I’m starting to hate.

  I tear my eyes away as the girl leans in and kisses his lips. I grip my bottle a little too tightly and narrow my eyes. Then it hits me why I feel so angry, and I can’t believe it. I’m actually a little jealous. I chug the rest of my beer and try to drown out the thought. What Noel and I had is in the past, and I have no right to feel jealous when he’s with someone else.

  A man who resembles a younger version of Steven Tyler with his crazy appearance sits next to me and orders a beer before turning his attention to me. A blush creeps up my neck when I turn to find him watching me intently. His lips turn up into a smile, and I return my eyes to the bottle in front of me.

  The man shoves a strand of his long black hair behind his ear. “You need another?” His accent is delicious. Something about a British accent is incredibly sexy.

  I nod. “Sure.”

  Mr. Accent gestures for another beer, and I study his features. His black hair hangs nearly to his broad shoulders, and his tattooed hands poke out from the long-sleeved shirt he’s wearing. Both of his ears are pierced, along with one eyebrow, and his eyes are deep chocolate. He’s obviously in a band, most of the guys in here are, but I can’t put my finger on which one.

  He turns toward me and holds out his hand. “I’m Striker.”

  Ah. That’s where I’ve seen him. He’s the front man of Embrace the Darkness.

  I slide my hand in his. “Lanie Vance.”

  The bartender returns with my drink and winks at the rocker as she sets it down in front of him.

  “Here you go, love,” he says and slides the bottle in my direction. “So, what’s a beautiful lady like you doing in here with this lot?”

  I blush again and run my fingers through my hair. “I’m working.”

  He raises his eyebrows. “Blimey! You’re a—”

  My eyes widen as I realize he thinks I’m a “working girl.” “No! No. I’m not a…you know. I’m a rep for Center Stage Marketing.”

  “Right, I’ve heard of them—out of New York. My record label suggested we look into using them.” He nods and smiles. “Here to pick up new clients then?”

  I lean closer so my voice doesn’t compete with the blaring music. “I’m actually working for Black Falcon on their children’s literacy campaign.”

  “They make you travel to this shithole town in Ohio for that? Seems like rubbish to me.”

  I shrug. “Noel and I are old friends. He kind of got me this job.”

  He touches my hand when he speaks. “Well, old friend of Noel’s, can I get your name and maybe give you a ring sometime?”

  I take a sip of my drink. There’s nothing wrong with giving him my number, right? I’m not dating anyone or anything. Besides, this guy is cute and genuinely interested in getting to know me. “I’d like that.”

  The rocker picks up his beer and clinks it with mine after he stuffs my cell number in his front pocket. “To new friends.”

  “There something you need, Striker?” Noel says behind me.

  I turn on the stool. Noel stands with his arms across his broad chest as he stares at the back of Striker’s head. My eyes flick to Striker, and he lets out a slow breath as he turns around and stands. He chugs the last of his beer and sets the bottle on the counter as if he’s in no hurry.

  “No, mate. I’ve got all I need right here.” He pats the pocket he slid my number into and turns his attention to me. “Lanie, love, it’s been charming. I’ll be in touch.” Striker shoulders past Noel without another look and blends into the crowd.

  “What the hell are you drinking?” Noel grabs the beer out of my hands and chucks it in a nearby trash can. “I told you not to take drinks from anyone but me.”

  “You’re infuriating. You know that?” I jump off the stool and head toward the exit, but he grabs my arm. “Let me go.”

  He shakes his head. “You want to leave? Then we’ll go together.”

  I yank away. “Fine. Let’s go then.”

  Mike holds the crowd off so we can hop into the SUV. Noel slams the door shut, and the vehicle quivers a little. His mouth pulls into a tight line, and he runs his fingers through his hair. He seems frustrated.

  I know the feeling.

  Neither of us speaks the entire ride back to Big Bertha. The minute we step onto the bus, Noel flops down in the sitting area near the door and picks up his guitar. He strums out random chords and does his best not to make eye contact with me.

  After about twenty seconds, I finally get that he’s not going to talk about what happened and why he feels as though he has the right to dictate who I talk to. A harsh breath escapes me, and I storm into the bedroom. I take off my top then grab an oversized T-shirt and yank it over my head. Where does he get off being such an asshole? If he doesn’t want me here, he shouldn’t have made it mandatory for me to come.

  I go into the bathroom without a glance in Noel’s direction to scrub the makeup from my face and get ready for bed. I tug a brush through my unruly, dark waves and pull it up into a high bun. When I return to the bedroom, I freeze in the doorway. Noel lies on the bed with his arms tucked behind his head. From the waist down, he’s under the covers, but the rest of him is on full display. The tattoos on his naked chest and arms are beautiful. They make him look so anti-authority and bad-boyish. I wish it wasn’t so ridiculously sexy.

  I throw up my hands. “Hello? What are you doing back here?”

  He furrows his eyebrows as if I’m not speaking English. “What do you mean, why am I back here? It’s my room.”

  I fold my arms over my chest. “Yes, but when you told me earlier that I’d be sleeping in your bed, I didn’t think you meant with you in it.”

  Noel shrugs. “I told you there wasn’t any room in the foxholes. I thought I made the sleeping arrangements very clear.”

  “I’m not sleeping back here with you!”

  He raises an eyebrow. “If you want to sleep on one of the seats out front, be my guest. But I warn you, the guys never come
home alone, and most of the action takes place right up front.”

  I turn and peer down the hall at the two swivel seats and tiny love seat. No way do I want to witness the guys’ sexual escapades. I sigh and drop my arms. “Fine. But so help me, if you touch me, I’ll punch you square in the balls.”

  He laughs and pats the spot beside him. “I’ll be a gentleman. I promise.”

  I walk over and slide under the covers next to Noel. The full-size bed doesn’t leave much space between us, so I scoot as close to the edge as I can get and roll on my side away from him. The light flicks off, and the bed shakes as Noel settles down on his pillow. It’s quiet. Too quiet actually. With nothing to distract me, all I can think about is how close his body is to mine. If I wanted, I could roll over and have amazing sex with him.

  I tuck the cover around me and close my eyes. Right before I drift into sleep, Noel says, “I’m sorry about tonight. I shouldn’t allow myself to get so jealous. You’re a hard one to let go.”

  My heart pounds and I’m fully awake. I could say a million things to him. But if I’m not careful, one sentence will either piss him off or turn him on. Neither of those would be a good thing. We lay there in silence because I can’t bring myself to say anything. Noel eventually takes the hint and lets out a heavy sigh. He turns over and doesn’t speak a single word.

  11

  My cell rings on the small nightstand, and my eyes pop open. Relief engulfs me when I roll over and see the other half of the bed empty. I grab the phone and answer it as I sit up and run my fingers through my tangled bed head.

  “Good morning, sunshine,” Aubrey says in a sing-song voice.

  “What time is it?” I flop back on my pillow. The motions of the moving bus are steady and sleep inducing. Must be why I slept so late.

  She laughs. “Someone had a late night? It’s nearly noon. Tell me, any action with that sexy rocker yet?”

  “Ugh. You would not believe what that asshole said to me last night.” I rehash all the grimy details of how Noel seems like a crazy lunatic only interested in getting into my pants. Of course, I leave out the details about how amazingly hot he is when he becomes so suggestive. Knowing Aubrey, she’ll encourage me to take him up on the offers because she knows it’s been a while for me in that department.

  She says, “So tomorrow my flight comes into Dallas at two thirty. I’m renting a car so I can drive over to the hotel while I wait on you to get there.”

  I sigh. “You don’t know how excited I’ll be to see a friendly face.”

  “Pssssssssssh. Whatever. After that story you just told me, sounds like you’ve been seeing plenty of ‘friendly’ faces between Noel, Riff, and that sexy British dude.”

  “You mean Striker?”

  She giggles. “I need to Google him. Even his name sounds yummy.” I hear Aubrey tapping on the keys of the desktop computer in our little apartment, and I feel a little homesick. “Ah, there we go. Let me just…Oh yeah, he’s fucking edible. No bag needed for that one’s head. That’s for sure.”

  I shake my head. “I doubt he’ll call me. Noel chased him off before I could make a good impression.”

  “Noel’s just jealo—Oh my god, have you searched your own name in the last twenty-four hours?”

  “Um, no. Does anyone really look themselves up that often? Why?”

  “Go get your laptop and search your name. Then call me back.”

  “Wait, Aubrey, why?”

  “Just go do it.”

  After I promise to call her right back, I hop off the bed and change into a pair of jeans and black T-shirt. I grab my computer from the cabinet and boot it up. I’m surprised to find a Big Bertha Wi-Fi signal. After a failed attempt to connect, I head toward the front of the bus, laptop in hand, where all the guys are eating breakfast.

  “What’s popping, Lanie?” Trip asks before he takes a huge bite of cereal.

  Tyke and Riff are locked into some battle on the game system attached to the flat screen TV. Noel sits to the side watching them go at it, ignoring me.

  “Trip, what’s the Wi-Fi password for Big Bertha?”

  He wipes his chin with the sleeve of his shirt and grins. “It’s kinkysexgod69.”

  I roll my eyes. “What is it with you guys and your obsession with sex?” I set my laptop on the counter next to Trip’s bowl and type in the password. Once it’s connected, I type my name into the search engine. A couple milliseconds tick by, and my name, accompanied by pictures, pop up in the results. I click on a picture, and it redirects me to a celebrity gossip site. Noel and I are the prime story with a headline reading: Black Falcon Front Man Caught with Secret Lover. My eyes widen as I take in the picture of Noel holding my hand in the airport.

  “Shit,” Trips says next to me.

  Noel looks up from the game. “What?”

  “There’re pictures of the two of you on the internet. They’re calling our girl Lanie here your secret lover.”

  Noel practically leaps from his seat and comes up to check out the screen. “Fuck!”

  I flinch. Am I really that embarrassing to be seen with? How can pretend he’s so into me one minute, and then be pissed cameras caught us holding hands the next? “What’s your problem? It’s a harmless picture. Who cares? We both know it isn’t true.”

  He paces for a few seconds and darts up to the front of the bus. Noel doesn’t say another word to me. Instead, he rushes into the other room to retrieve his cell phone and plops down next to the driver. Big Bertha takes the next exit and pulls into a truck stop. I watch as Noel shoves his hands through his hair as he waits by the door for the bus to fully stop.

  He’s acting like a complete fucking lunatic.

  The rest of the guys hop off the bus and start toward the convenience store. The second I step off the bus, I glance around. Noel’s at the back of the bus talking on his cell. He’s obviously arguing with whoever he’s talking with. I can’t make out what he’s saying, but his wild gestures tell me he’s defending himself. He takes a breath and his shoulders slump. Whatever the fight was over, he looks relieved. Curiosity wins out, and I take a couple steps toward him. Noel notices me and straightens as I approach.

  Before I can hear more than him saying good-bye to the other person, he snaps, “How long have you been there?”

  I shake my head. “I wasn’t eavesdropping.” Okay, so maybe that isn’t exactly the truth, but I didn’t hear anything. “I wanted to make sure you were okay. You rushed off the bus so quickly.”

  Noel stuffs his phone into his back pocket. “Everything’s fine. Just business—nothing that concerns you.”

  I flinch at his snippy tone. “Sorry. I was just…concerned.”

  He sighs and drags his fingers through his messy brown hair. “Fuck! I really feel like all I do is fuck things up when it comes to you. I shouldn’t snap at you. It’s not your fault I have bad shit in my life. I really don’t mean it. I’m sorry.”

  That’s the second time in less than a day that Noel has apologized to me. I really don’t get how he can be so forward and overly sexual, then flip the switch and tell me he’s sorry for hurting me. He’s like a man possessed by craziness.

  “So…” He closes the space between us and holds out his arms for a hug. “Friends, again?”

  I shrug and wrap my arms around his waist. “Friends.” It actually feels good to get to this point. We should be able to be friends without weird tension between us. Two people who dated in high school should be able to look past that and have a healthy friendship. Being friend will make working on the children’s literacy campaign so much easier. I rest my head against his chest, and he rubs my back. Noel holding me reminds me of when we were a couple and he was unbelievably sweet. I sigh and give him one final squeeze before I let our lingering hug get weird.

  He tugs my shirt. “Come on. I’ll buy you some of those sour-lemon candies you like so much.”

  I grin. It’s funny the things people remember. “Only if you eat some with me.”

/>   He laughs and throws his arm around me as we start toward the store. “The thought alone of eating those things make me want to puke. I ate what—one hundred and fifty of those things in one sitting because you dared me?”

  “It was four hundred and eighty-seven. The bet was five hundred, remember? And you lost miserably.” I poke his stomach.

  He grabs my hand and holds it over his heart. It’s a simple gesture but a dangerous one. Something so sweet will wear down my willpower if he tries to tempt me into sleeping with him again. I know the Noel I used to love is in this sexy, bad-boy rocker somewhere. I pull my hand away, and Noel gazes down at me with sad eyes.

  Desperate for a subject change, I say, “My friend Aubrey is meeting up with us in Dallas tomorrow.”

  “Is she the one who came with you to the show, when you…” His eyes dart away from mine. It’s as if he doesn’t want to bring up the time I walked in on him with two sluts back in Houston.

  Allowing him off the hook, I don’t even acknowledge his slip. “Yeah. She’s from Texas, so she’s flying down to catch the show and driving to her parents’ place near Waco when we leave for the next city.”

  He nods. “We’ll actually spend a couple days in Dallas. Our manager booked us all rooms so we can get off the bus for a bit.”

  A smile creeps across my lips. “You think we’ll have time to drive home for a night? I’m sure your parents would be thrilled to see you.”

  Noel stops in his tracks. “No. I promised myself I’d never go back there, not after the way Dad treated me.”

  “But your mom…don’t you miss her?”

  He sighs. “Of course I do.”

  “Well, then come home with me.”

  He raises his eyebrows. “What do you mean ‘come home with you’?”

  I turn my hands over and shrug. “My mom would love to have you over. We can drive down, invite your mom to dinner at my mom’s house, and we can stay the night. It’d give you a chance to spend time with your mom without facing your father.”

  “You’d do that for me?”