Paradise Crime Mysteries

by Toby Neal

  “No. Not ready,” Lei said. “I guess I’m more ready than I thought I was, because I never expected to feel even a little sad about it. But no, I’m on the pill and going to be more careful until we really are ready.”

  “In that case, champagne is in order, and lots of it.” Stevens went to the wet bar, already stocked with a sweating metal bucket of ice and a bottle of Dom Pérignon, accompanied by a card offering Congratulations from Duchess Cruises! “I was wondering why you didn’t drink at the reception. Chalked it up to nerves.”

  He filled her flute, careful to keep the bubbles from welling over the side.

  “Well, it’s bottoms up now,” she said. “Can’t believe I made it through the whole wedding ordeal without drinking.”

  “Ordeal? Just all the people we know from everywhere, cooped up for a day and dying to party,” Stevens said. “Even Jared.” His brother had come, bearing their mother’s transparent excuses. “Hope he enjoys Maui. He’s been saying he’d like to transfer over here.” Jared was a firefighter in Los Angeles and had complained of the severity of the fires and stress in his area.

  They wandered the two large adjoining rooms, sipping champagne and commenting on the size of the honeymoon suite with the opulent satin-covered bed and mirrored ceiling.

  Two glasses of champagne later, Lei was ready to resume where they’d left off, turning to offer her back. She’d considered telling him about the case and decided later was soon enough. “Unzip me, please.”

  Stevens sat on the edge of the king-sized bed, pulling her between his legs. He fumbled under the collar until he found the long zipper concealed under the placket of buttons. Lei turned her head to look up at the mirrored ceiling, watching him slide the zipper down by degrees, kissing his way down her spine and sucking in a breath as he came to the scrap of ivory G-string and garter belt she wore.

  “Lei! Oh my God,” he whispered, cupping her buttocks in his hands, nibbling the dimples at the base of her spine. “You know I really married you for this ass, don’t you?”

  She laughed, and turned in the puddle of silk at her feet, feeling glorious in the white demi bra, G-string, and ivory silk garter set that had been Sophie Ang’s bridal gift to her when she heard Marcella had bought Lei’s dress.

  “My friends know how to take care of us.” She pushed him in the chest so he fell backward onto the bed. “Look up and watch me take your clothes off in the mirror.”

  Even as she undid each mother-of-pearl button of his dress shirt, her head buzzing with champagne and hunger, another part of her was imagining his view of her astride him in her erotic underwear, undressing him.

  The thought was so arousing she could hardly stand it, could hardly make herself slow down. She tried to be as torturous as she could, stroking him through his clothes, taking her time on him with tiny bites and kisses. She slid back and forth over his chest, circling her tongue over his rock-solid abs, bending and posing her body so he could see and appreciate every sensuous movement and the contrast of their bodies: his large and hard, hers slender and toned.

  His inarticulate exclamations goaded her on, leaving no doubt she was having an effect.

  Her own desire rose with spiking urgency, heat humming along her nerve endings, every movement increasing the craving that pooled in her lower abdomen.

  When she had him down to his black silk boxers, whimpering with desire, she stood back, reaching up to undo the pins anchoring the ladylike hairstyle she’d worn for the ceremony. Lei shook her hair free, a wild, curling mane around her shoulders. Turning and doing a little striptease, she slid the G-string off with a sexy shimmy, leaving on the ivory stockings and bra. She turned and slid his boxers down.

  More teasing and torturing ensued.

  Only when he finally begged, “Just kill me now and be done with it,” did she climb back onto the bed, and into his arms.

  Lei sat at the table on the tiny balcony that looked over the ocean as the cruise ship sliced through the water toward their next stop, Kaua`i. They ate fruit from a basket that had appeared in the morning outside their room. Up near the top of the ship, the equivalent of four or five stories above the water, Lei felt a little breathless at the beauty and luxury around her. She could see a whale blow off in the distance. At the bow, a pod of dolphins leaped through the water alongside them. Clouds paraded in snowy splendor alongside, and she spotted yet another whale.

  She could see the appeal of traveling this way, especially cocooned as they were in their room. The breeze was cool, tugging at her hair and ruffling the apricot silk of her robe. Stevens reached across the table holding a strawberry from the fruit basket. Lei leaned over and bit into it, brushing his fingers with her lips. “Mmm.”

  “Mmm, is right.” Stevens finished the strawberry and reached out to trace the line of her throat as it disappeared into the robe. He lifted the battered, matte silver medallion around her neck. “I think you might be due for an upgrade on this.”

  “I have the upgrade on my finger.” She wriggled her left hand, and the shiny platinum wedding band sparkled next to the simple channel-set engagement ring. “I’ll never give this necklace up—it’s a symbol for our relationship.”

  He laughed. “What—my grandma’s wedding ring? Lost, burnt in a fire, and hammered into shape? I guess you could say so.”

  Lei smiled. “I told you. It’s been through a lot, and so have we.”

  “And now’s the time to relax and enjoy life a little bit.”

  “Any more enjoying and I won’t be able to walk.”

  “You can take a break from enjoying and tell me about the case that was so important we had to postpone our wedding.”

  “Not sure it’s entirely over, but at least we have someone in custody.” Lei filled him in, with pauses for exclamations. Stevens narrowed his eyes at her when she finished her story.

  “So I think we can safely say a precedent was established here.”

  “What’s that?” Lei ate another strawberry, licking her fingertips provocatively, hoping to distract him from a lecture.

  “Nothing gets between Lei Texeira and solving her case. Not even her wedding. I hope you’re okay that I’m okay with that, since next time it might be one of my cases.”

  “I look forward to a life of mutual workaholism.” She leaned over and kissed him.

  He winked. “Up for opening some presents? Pono filled a suitcase with smaller gifts for us to bring along.”

  “Perfect!” She stood up, but when she tried to pass him, he caught her around the waist and pulled her into his lap.

  “I haven’t told you I love you yet today. I’m going to try to do it every day, for the rest of our lives.”

  “I like the sound of that.” She kissed him, a little peck on the lips. “That will begin to make up for you not calling me before the wedding.”

  “Still mad about that?”

  “I was really worried. Thought something happened to you. Thought you might not show up. I just needed to hear your voice. Now to find out you were testing me—I don’t know.” She shook her head. “I don’t like it that you did that.”

  “Maybe it was wrong of me. But yes, I was testing you, and the good news is, you passed.” He growled and snarled, nibbling on her neck. “Don’t think just because I’m crazy about you that you get to boss me around.”

  Lei narrowed her eyes, stiffening in his arms. “So this is some sort of pissing contest about who’s in charge?”

  “Oh God.” Stevens stood up abruptly, dumping her back onto her feet. “It was going too well. You had to pick a fight.”

  She followed him in, suddenly sick of the whole conversation. She aimed a gentle kick at his butt. “There. We’re even. I don’t want to fight either.”

  He spun, caught her in his arms. “Ever see The Taming of the Shrew?”

  “The what?”

  “Shakespeare. A spanking is involved.”

  “No!” She kicked and wriggled, but he carried her under his arm to the bed and p
ut her over his lap, smoothing the bright silk of her robe over her bare bottom, squeezing it like sampling fruit in the supermarket.

  “This is going to hurt me more than it does you.” He smacked her butt with his open hand, immediately massaging the stinging spot.

  She squeaked, “Ow!” and wiggled some more. Tipping her head to the side, she could see in the mirror above that their little tableau was ridiculously sexy. She leaned over to bite his leg, not hard but just enough to let him know she had teeth.

  He gasped and smacked her again, and this time she put some moan in her voice. “Ohhh.” And then she laughed. “That all you got? Seriously, I want a turn. I’ll show you how it’s done.”

  “Shrew,” he said, and brought his hand down again.

  It was a good deal later and both of them were sweaty, laughing, and flushed when they finally sat down with the suitcase of presents.

  “We should make a list,” Lei said. “Thank-you notes and all that.”

  “How very bridal of you,” Stevens said, tossing the pen and notepad from beside the bed to her.

  She caught them and faced the pile of presents. “I’m going in.”

  Two salad tong sets, three kinds of mixers, and a cookbook later, Lei looked up at Stevens propped on an elbow on the carpet beside her. His eyes were sleepy, his tanned chest an inviting contrast to the white terry ship’s robe he wore. “I’m detecting a kitchen trend. When do I get a present?”

  “Ha-ha. I think these are tools for you to build some kitchen skills,” Stevens said.

  “Good luck with that.” Lei took a small, square box out of the stack. “This one looks promising.”

  She shredded off the silver paper, tossing it aside, and opened the top of a lightweight cardboard box.

  Inside was a brochure and a receipt. Lei frowned at the simple graphic of a wooden coffin on the brochure, with a list of prices. “The DeathStore,” she read aloud. “Hawaii’s first ‘green’ funeral home, offering a full range of goods, services, and burial options.”

  Stevens snatched the brochure out of her hand, leaving her holding the receipt that had been stapled onto the back.

  “This is a receipt for ‘two pure linen shrouds’ as a green burial option. They were purchased for three hundred dollars each.” Lei’s lips felt numb and tingly at the same time, making forming words difficult. She pressed her fingers against them. “Whose gift is this? Talk about bad taste.”

  Stevens scrambled up onto his hands and knees, gathering the bits of silver paper. They reconstructed the paper like a puzzle, working silently together, and finally Lei sat back on her heels. “There’s no name. No note. No card. No identifying information. Let’s call the DeathStore and find out who bought this.”

  “You go take a shower. I’ll do it,” Stevens said, picking up his phone. “I hope we still have cell service.”

  “I’m not going anywhere,” Lei said. Stevens couldn’t get a signal, and Lei couldn’t either, so Stevens used the phone beside the bed for the internal intercom and had the concierge place the call via satellite phone.

  “We were given a wedding gift,” Stevens said to the salesperson at the DeathStore, holding the receipt by one corner. Lei had already bagged the brochure in a plastic bag from the bar. They’d touched the items, but it couldn’t hurt to reduce how much they handled them—maybe there was still a usable print. “Two linen shrouds. We don’t know who gave them to us, and we need any information you can give us. Who bought them, how they were paid for. We’re police officers.”

  A long pause as the funeral home employee digested this. “Well, we believe in an open dialogue about death, but I’ve never heard of giving burial wear as a wedding gift,” the clerk said. “What’s the date on the receipt? I’ll see what I can find out.”

  Stevens read off the date, two weeks before their wedding. “Wondering if you’re still holding the shrouds. We just received the brochure and receipt.”

  “Can I get back to you on this?”

  “Unfortunately, no. I’ll hold.” Stevens’s brisk, authoritative tone left no room for argument. New Age Muzak came through the speaker as the clerk put him on hold.

  “I think I will pop into the shower after all,” Lei said. “I’ll be out by the time the guy gets back on the line.” The teasing, sensual spell they’d cast had been broken, and Lei felt a chill wind blowing through the sliding door.

  The bathroom was small but beautifully appointed, and Lei got into the shower, soaping up quickly, wondering about the receipt. Could this be some tasteless but well-intended gift? But if so, wouldn’t the giver have identified themselves? Maybe made a joke of it?

  “Until death do us part,” Lei whispered. “It’s a threat. It’s definitely a threat.” She didn’t want to take the time to shave and wash her hair in case she missed the rest of the phone call, but then Stevens joined her in the narrow stall.

  “They don’t have the shrouds. They were paid for with cash. Because they don’t sell too many of them, the clerk remembered the purchase once he had the record pulled up. Described the purchaser as a ‘white male, wearing a ball cap, not old’ and I quote.”

  “Dammit,” Lei said, looking up into his eyes. Water from the shower trailed off his dark brows, and she brushed them clear. “Do you think it could just be a creepy gift?”

  “No.” He was in full cop mode, taking the soap from her and washing briskly. “I want to get ahold of the station next. With all the people the two of us have pissed off over the years, it could be anyone threatening us. I want to make sure our houses are secure and our friends are on alert.”

  “Let me.” She ran the soap bar down his chest, playing, sliding it around in all his nooks and crannies. “We can’t let this wreck our honeymoon.”

  “It won’t. But I need to focus right now.” He took the soap gently out of her hand and put it back in the dish. “We need a break to recharge anyway. I’d like to go talk to the captain of the ship, explain what’s going on. This could have some connection to the Duchess Cruises bust, even.”

  They got out and dressed in silence, and Lei said, “I’m pissed now. This asshole knew just what he was doing, putting that in our presents. Trying to wreck our honeymoon.”

  “Spent some money doing it, too. A six-hundred-dollar prank? I don’t think so. Let’s just take some steps, make some calls—and then get back to where we were.” Stevens drew her into his arms, tucking her head under his chin. She could hear his rapid heartbeat and smell adrenaline on his skin. She knew in that moment he would defend her to his death, and she him. She shut her eyes and rested in the security of that knowledge.

  “I love you,” he said.

  “I love you too.” It was still not something she said easily, and she wanted that to change. “I like the ‘say I love you once a day’ plan so far.”

  “Gotta get some things right from the start.” He grinned, a quick flash of teeth, but his eyes had already looked away, at the room safe. “Getting our weapons and my creds out. Never leave home without ’em, right?”

  “I’m sorry every time I do,” Lei said. She had brought her backup Glock though her department-issue weapon and badge were still with Omura. “I need to talk to Pono about the case anyway.”

  “Why don’t you get the concierge to call Pono, and I’ll go see the captain about our security,” Stevens said. She nodded. “Put the chain on the door,” he added as he slipped out into the hall.

  She put the chain on. It gave her no sense of security, because one thing she knew from law enforcement was that no chain ever stopped someone who really wanted to get in.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  “What’chu calling me for, Sweets? You’re supposed to be at sea and away from cell phones!” Pono’s voice boomed in her ear, reassuringly cheerful and close. She let out a breath.

  “Yeah, I don’t want to be talking to you either. Here’s what happened.” She told him about the strange gift from the DeathStore. “Stevens is talking to the captain of our s
hip about security here. I just wanted to make sure Keiki was okay and that you knew what’s going on. We were hoping you could keep an eye on my house and Stevens’s apartment while we’re gone.”

  “Of course. In fact, my nephew from the Big Island is visiting, and our house is kind of small for him too. He’s nineteen, a good kid—why don’t we have him and Keiki go back to your house, and he can keep an eye on the place?”

  Lei thought this over for a moment. “I’m not sure I think it’s a good idea for anyone to be alone out there. Why don’t you put him in Stevens’s apartment? It’s closer to your house in Paia and there are more people around in the building.”

  “Sounds good.” She told him where the keys were stashed, and they firmed up the details. “So, while I’ve got you on the line, what’s going on with the case? Our cell phones don’t work. We’re on the ship’s sat phone.”

  “I was able to verify Kingston had an alibi for the most recent poacher shooting, which sucks because we wanted to nail those on him as well as Jacobsen. Also, we’ve been contacted by the Chinese embassy. They want the victim released into their custody. I’ve got a call in to the attorney general on what to do.”

  “I wish I wasn’t gone right now,” Lei said, playing with the medallion at her throat. “I hate leaving all this on you.”

  “If it wasn’t this case, it’d be another one,” Pono said. “So don’t worry, okay? Let that husband of yours distract you from all this, including the DeathStore thing. I bet it’s just some weird hippie gift.”

  “I think if it was, they would have left their name, don’t you? The fact that the box was unmarked shows they didn’t want us to know who gave it, which puts it in the threat category as far as we’re concerned.”

  A pause as Pono considered this. “I guess you’re right. Do you think it’s anything to do with the Changs?” Pono brought up Lei’s oldest enemy.

  “I don’t know. There hasn’t been anything from them since Terence Chang was put on probation—though that would be ending about now,” Lei said. “Can you put out some feelers? See if our contacts know anything about activity on their end?”