by Prenisha Aja
“Melo,” I said his name out loud, but I said it so softly that I could only hear myself.
“Damn, it’s been a minute.” He walked over to me and pulled me in for a hug.
Wow, I said to myself. It had been months since I had been wrapped up in his arms. I honestly thought that I left him and all those who stayed on that side of town there, but I guess this world was just too small and no matter how far you thought you were running, you couldn’t run away from your past. Especially one that caused you pain.
“Yeah it has.” I shook my head as I came back to the reality of everything.
“So what you been up to? And I’m sorry about your loss.” He licked his lips and looked me up down.
This nigga. How could you tell me you're sorry about my loss but be checking me out at the same time?
“Thank you and I’ve been good.”
“Yeah, she straight,” I heard Jaxsyn’s voice, and my eyes got so damn big and my heart stopped.
I don’t know why, but I panicked. It wasn’t like I was doing something I ain’t have no business, but I knew that these types of things never really ended good.
“Damn, is that you?” Melo stepped back and clasped his hands together.
“Yeah, my nigga, is there a problem?” Jaxsyn stepped to Melo and I swear it felt like the whole room was spinning.
“Shit, I was just speaking.”
“Now you done!” Jaxsyn’s lip curled up and his nose flared out.
He had turned his thug ass ways on one thousand and I knew he was ready to go toe for toe with Melo if need be.
Melo threw his hands up in mock surrender as he backed away from the both of us.
“Nah, I need you to step yo’ ass up out of here.” Jaxsyn sized Melo up then looked towards the door.
“Jaxsyn.” I was finally able to process all of this shit as I grabbed Jaxsyn’s arm.
I should have known from the last time, that when he was mad to just stay in my place and wait until he cooled down and prayed that he didn’t get himself in trouble, but I guess I didn’t learn because just as fast I reached out to grab him, he was jerking away from me, turning to glare at me.
“Please take this outside.” Mr. Thomas walked over to where we were standing and told the two guys.
Jaxsyn didn’t say shit. Instead, he pulled his pants up and walked towards the doorway, following behind Melo.
Oh my god, I wanted to cry. Why in the hell was Jaxsyn up here at my job showing his naked ass. Like, did he not care?
“Jaxsyn this is my job. Can you please stop.” I pulled on him.
“Exactly, this is your job. Not no damn meet and greet. The fuck was this nigga all up in your face for? Do you know him?” He turned and raised his voice at me.
Now the argument was between me and him. Melo was now walking over to the same blue Mustang that I remembered him having when we were together.
“Oh, so you don’t hear me?” Jaxsyn barked.
“I hear you Jaxsyn, damn,” I shouted as I ran my hands through my hair. “Yes, I know him. He went to my old school...” I paused.
“And what else?” he asked as he looked over his shoulder to check out his surroundings.
“Why the fuck was he so fucking comfortable with being that friendly with you?” He pointed towards Melo’s car and I swear I could have melted to the fucking ground.
There was now a crowd outside of the store and Jaxsyn didn’t give not one damn fuck about it. I, on the other hand, was so embarrassed. I didn’t even think that I would even be able to show my face here ever again.
“He’s my ex. Damn, you happy now.” I pushed his chest because I was so fucking frustrated.
Tears were now running down my face, and I just wanted to punch him in the chest for showing his ass like that and embarrassing me when it wasn’t even nothing like that.
Chuckling, Jaxsyn ran his hand down his face then looked at me up and down. He then shook his head and walked off.
I was left there standing there with tears raining down my face as the cool breeze dried them up, just as fast they were coming down.
I could hear the whispers of the people that were standing around and I swear, I had never felt this type of embarrassment before. This shit was just too much and I swear I was so done with Jaxsyn for the stunt that he had pulled.
Just imagine how I felt when I walked in to take my girl out to eat on her lunch break only to see a nigga too cozy up in her fucking face. Yeah, pissed. Nah, pissed wasn’t how I felt. I was ready to blow that nigga’s head off of his shoulder.
Especially with the way my mental state was set up these day. I was a ticking time bomb and I felt like Kaizlyn didn’t understand that. It was like, I had to write the shit down on a piece of paper in order for her to understand it.
Shaking my head, I pulled up to my front yard and parked. I sat in my car a few seconds as I got my damn thoughts together. I was definitely going over to the lil’ shop to go and chill with my boys. I needed to drink and light me up a blunt or something. Shit, I might even need to bust a damn nut. My stress levels were at an all-time high right now and I just needed to relax my damn mind.
Fuck that, I needed for my sister to wake the fuck up and make everything around me that much easier.
“Fuck man,” I hollered out as I punched the steering wheel causing my horn to blare loudly.
Taking in a few deep breaths, I leaned back and rested my hands on top of my head.
Let me get out this car, I thought as I grabbed my now ringing phone and got out the car. I looked down and I swear, I didn’t miss her either. I didn’t even feel like dealing with the drama she was about to bring but shit since I was already dealing with fuck ass bullshit, I might as well see what she wanted.
“What Londyn?” I asked, annoyed as I walked up to my front door.
“I lost the baby,” she screamed into the phone. She was so loud that I had to pull the phone away from my ear.
“Stop screaming. You what?” I asked again. I had heard her clearly but I needed her to repeat the shit again.
“I lost the baby Jaxsyn.” She lowered her voice and sniffled.
I didn’t know what she wanted me to say. Truth to it all, I never felt like the baby was mine.
“Why are you calling me though Londyn? The baby wasn’t even mine,” I stated, and the phone fell completely silent.
“You know what, fuck you Jaxsyn. You fucking bitch,” she yelled then she hung up the phone.
Shrugging my shoulders, I set my phone down on the bar and made my way upstairs to my room. I took a shower, changed clothes and was now headed back out the door to go hang out at the shop.
I was now pulling up to the shop and it was like today it was extra packed. I guess a lot of the niggas needed to get out of the house.
Getting out of my car, I didn’t know why, but a weird feeling came over me. I had never felt like I needed to carry my gun on me when I was going inside of the shop, but the way my day was going and the weird ass feeling that I had in my gut, I reached under my seat and placed my gun in my lap.
I got out of my car, tucked my gun in the back of my pants and walked inside. When I entered, everybody was doing their normal activity. The tv was on the sports channel, and Mr. Eddie was cutting hair while a few people waited to be next.
My niggas were in the corner playing dice and the crowd was just how it was any other time. Laughs, drinks and just guy talk. It was just what I needed after the day that I had.
“What’s good?” I walked over to my niggas and none of them looked up from the dice game.
“Here goes this cheating ass nigga,” Bjay joked as he rolled the dice, snapped his fingers and then picked the dice up again.
“Nah, you just ain’t got no luck.” I chuckled as I walked over to Ace and dabbed him up.
“What’s good. Yo’ ass been boo’d the fuck up and I ain’t heard from yo’ ass.” Ace kidded with me and I sighed.
“Man fuck her,” I stated, and
everybody popped their heads up and side-eyed me. Then they all burst out into laughter and started cracking jokes.
“That pussy must got some power.” Rell laughed.
“Hell yeah, look at this nigga. ‘Man, fuck her,’” Bjay mimicked me, and I had to laugh my damn self.
“Man, y’all get off my boy.” Ace laughed. “So, what her young ass do to you to have you up in here in your feelings?” Ace questioned.
“Shit had a nigga smiling all up in her face,” I admitted.
“And you snapped because of that?” Ace looked at me as if I had tripped for nothing.
“Hell yeah. Ain’t I supposed to? I walked up in her job to take her ass to lunch and she got a nigga in her face. I lost it. Period.” I shrugged.
“Man, did you forget that shorty is bad as fuck? You crazy. I would have made that nigga bounce the fuck back but I would have just talked to my shorty. Now she free game. That nigga probably hitting her up on Facebook right now,” Ace joked, but my ass didn’t feel that fucking joke. It was no akekee, ha-ha for me.
Wasn’t shit funny about Kaizlyn getting hit up by another nigga. Which made me pull my phone out and call her. As the phone rang, in walked that same nigga that I was suspect about.
While I waited for Kaizlyn to answer, I nudged Ace to bring it to his attention.
“Hello,” Kaizlyn dryly answered her phone.
“Where you at?” I questioned her, never taking my eyes off of the nigga that I was skeptical of.
“I'm at work Jaxsyn. Where else would I be? What do you want?”
“To tell you that I’m sorry and that I am picking you up from work tonight. So, call yo’ grandma and let her know,” I told her.
“No, I’m good on you.”
“What the fuck did I say Kaizlyn?”
“Whatever Jaxsyn,” she sassed right before she hung up in my face.
Shaking my head, I chopped it up with Ace about some shit and then before I knew it, I looked down at my Apple watch and saw that it was close to the time that I needed to go pick Kaizlyn up from work.
“Well, I’m out. I got to go pick my girl up from work.” I dabbed everybody up.
“Damn, y’all made up that damn fast?” Bjay laughed and so did Ace.
“Nigga mind ya business.” I playfully squared up with him and we began to playfully box each other.
As we played around and shit, the nigga that I wasn’t too sure about walked out of the shop as he texted away on his phone. See, this was why I had brought my gun with me because I felt like I was going to have to let that hoe loose.
“Well let me go before I be late and shit,” I stated as I left out of the shop.
The moment I stepped foot outside, I looked around and didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. I made a quick jog to my car and got in. Before starting my car, I pulled my gun from behind me and placed it in my lap.
Pulling away, I drove slowly just so that I could peep everything. I had to make sure that nobody was following behind me.
After driving for about ten minutes, I felt safe enough, so I turned my music up and jammed until the music was interrupted by the ringing of my phone.
“Hello,” I answered.
“Hello, is this the brother of La’Keisha King?” I was asked, and I didn’t know why, but my heart just began to drop as the worst thoughts began to go through my head.
“What’s up? Is my sister good?” I questioned, getting ready to bust an illegal U-turn so that I could head to the hospital.
“Oh. Yes. Yes. Don’t panic. I just wanted to let you know that she is awake now. She is asking for you.” It was like hearing that shit had made everything that I had gone through today worth it. It was like everything that I was upset about didn’t matter anymore.
“Thank you, I’m on my way.” I hung up with the doctor as an all-black car pulled up next to me.
It was like I had witnessed this shit too many times and it seemed like everything was moving in slow motion, but all that could be heard now was gunshots.
Pow! Pow! Pow!
Looking down at my phone, I knew I should not have called my grandma and told her to not come because Jaxsyn was now twenty minutes late. I was currently sitting outside of my job waiting for him.
Sighing, I tried dialing his number one more time and just like the other twenty calls, it just kept ringing.
A part of me was panicking because I didn’t know what could have been wrong. There were so many different things that could be the problem right now and I just wished that he would answer his phone.
Damn. I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and this time I dialed my grandma’s number. Her phone rang and rang and just like Jaxsyn, she didn’t pick up either.
What the fuck. I began to get mad because now I was going to be stranded outside of this damn job and I didn’t know anybody else who I could call and ask for a ride.
“Hey, you need a ride.” Niecy walked out of the store.
She was laughing and talking to Mr. Thomas. They had just finished cleaning the store and counting the cash down.
“Please, if you don’t mind.” I stood to my feet.
“I don’t mind. My car is over here.” She pointed to a red Pontiac.
“Alright, bye Mr. Thomas.” Niecy waved.
“Bye you guys and Kaizlyn, tell your grandma that I want that meal she promised me,” Mr. Thomas joked as he waved us goodbye.
“Ok. I will tell her as soon as I get to the house,” I let him know.
I then followed Niecy to her car and we got inside. Once I had a seat in the passenger's seat, I felt a whole bunch of papers underneath my foot. There were empty bottles of water everywhere, food crumbs and even spilled drinks in the cup holder. Her car was a mess and when I looked in the back seat, there were clothes and stuff everywhere.
“Sorry about the mess.” She awkwardly looked around her car as if she didn’t know that it was a mess already. She even began to try to pick up stuff as if that was going to make a difference.
“It’s ok.” I gave her a faint smile. I was just happy to be out of the cold and with a way home.
I didn’t know why Jaxsyn or my grandma weren’t answering their phones. All I could do was pray that nothing was wrong.
“Where do you stay?” Niecy asked as he started up her car and began to drive out of the parking lot.
I gave her my address and she put it into her GPS and we drove in silence.
“Why have I never seen you with Mrs. Daisey before?” she questioned.
“Well, I just moved with her. I just found out that she is my grandma,” I stated.
“Oh wow, where were you before this?” she asked, and I huffed.
She was being too nosey and I didn’t want to talk about that right now.
“I don’t really want to discuss that,” I let her know, and she apologized and shook her head.
Finally, we pulled up to my house and I thanked her for the ride. I even offered to pay her gas money when I got my check, but she told me that it was ok and that if I ever needed a ride again, that she would be more than welcome to give me one.
Exhaling after the long day I had, I still couldn’t believe Jaxsyn. I couldn’t believe that I had seen Melo. I thought that when I saw him that I would feel that pain I felt whenever he broke up with me, but I actually didn’t feel shit.
Then the fact that Jaxsyn didn’t even care to really hear me out had pissed me off too and when I did hear from his ass, I was going to let him know about himself. Things between me and him just weren’t about to be all peaches and cream, especially after the show that he had pulled.
Running my hands through my hair, I tightened my jacket as I ran up the stairs and to the front door. I placed my hand on the doorknob and it was like a strong electric shock shot through my body. Opening the door slowly, my mouth dropped at the sight of the house.
There were pictures slung all off of the wall onto the floor. There was glass everywhere. The pillows to the couch were all o
n the floor and the vases that once held flowers in them was shattered.
“Grandma,” I called out as I closed my eyes and hoped that I wasn’t about to have to relive the same thing I had before.
Even though the scenery was different, all of this felt too familiar. Dropping my bags, I walked through the mess that decorated the living room floor as I held my breath, hoping that like last time she was in her room and that nothing was wrong.
“Grandma,” I called out again, and I could feel the tears starting to burn the edge of my eyes. They were ready to escape as my hands trembled and my heart raced. My breathing was at a fast pace and my heart was aching.
I was scared to take another step just out of fear of the unknown. I didn’t know what I was going to walk in on. I didn’t know what I was going to witness and Lord knows I was scared.
“Grandma.” My voice cracked and the tears that were dying to escape, slid down my face the moment I shut my eyes and approached my grandma's door that was shut closed.
She is ok. There is going to be a really good explanation for why the house is like this. Be positive. Everything is ok Kaizlyn. Breathe, I thought to myself as I placed my hand on the doorknob.
I stood there, not ready to accept whatever was about to be behind this door. I began to count down from ten and once I reached one, I closed my eyes then opened the door.
“Just the pppp…person I’ve been waiting to see.” His voice caused my eyes to pop open.
My eyes began to dart around the room until they landed on my grandma who was tied to a chair. She had grey scotch tape on her mouth and wrapped around her arms and legs.
I could see the sorrow in her eyes as she looked at me. Her body was shaking and I had no clue as to what I should do.
“Why do you want? Why are you back here?” I questioned him, and he looked at me from side to side before he burst into laughter.
I began to ease towards my grandma because I thought that he wasn’t paying attention but the moment I took a step, he pulled a gun from behind his back and pointed it at my grandma.
“Take one more step and I will kill her,” he roared, and I dropped to my knees and began to cry and scream.