Love is a Drum Beat (Rockstars Anonymous)

by Michelle MacQueen

  Dax smiled down at her, not answering a single question.

  “You’re right.” Jo nodded. “I should be asking these questions of Mel. She’s sort of a mom now too. Should I start wearing suits like her?”

  Dax released her with a raised eyebrow. “Where would you wear a suit?”

  She shrugged. “For concerts.”

  A laugh burst out of Dax. “Jo, you have a baby in your arms. There’s no one way a mom looks.”

  “I don’t believe you, Dax. But I’m in my clothes again and ready to blow this popsicle stand. My chariot has arrived.”

  An orderly pushed a wheelchair into the room. “Jo Jackson?” His eyes widened as he saw the two of them.

  Jo froze, waiting to see if he’d fanboy. To his credit, he left the chair to Dax’s care and took his leave.

  Dax helped Jo into the chair, Ali on her lap. He hiked the small black duffel onto his shoulder and pushed Jo out into the hall.

  Drew was already gone, back to his tour, but Jo waited for Noah and Ben to appear. Other than Melanie, she’d had no visitors today.

  When the doors slid open, a cacophony of sound filtered into the lobby. Dax pulled her back, letting the doors close.

  He pushed a hand through his hair. “I parked in the south lot across the road. I need to get the car.”

  A few security guards rushed by them and out the doors. Jo watched them try to corral the paparazzi and push them off hospital grounds. Dax bent down, pressing a kiss to her lips. “I’ll go get the car. Are you okay here?”

  Jo nodded, not wanting to admit the anxiety rolling through her. She’d chosen this life of cameras, but Ali hadn’t.

  “I’ll protect you from them.” She smiled as she took in the lobby surrounding her. A few people gawked, but they had the decency to let her be.

  By the time Dax drove his car around, hospital security managed to disperse some of the media. Jo watched Dax hop from the car with an athletic grace she’d never noticed in him before.

  He raced inside and helped Jo stand.

  Jo turned Ali so they couldn’t see her face unless they were close. Dax took her hand, his skin warm on hers. Jo knew the headlines coming her way. She knew she’d been linked to five men in the last month—including Nolan. And none of those men were the true father.

  And yet, she smiled. She smiled as she climbed into Dax’s car, noticing he’d already installed a car seat with a little mirror so they could see Ali’s face in the rearview mirror.

  She smiled as they buckled Ali in and then driving away, eventually pulling onto the highway rather than take the familiar roads to her lonely apartment. An apartment she’d return to soon. She couldn’t image raising Ali in such a small space. Maybe she’d have to move.

  But those decisions were for the future.

  She reached for Dax’s hand, holding on to her lifeline, but this time, he wasn’t giving her strength. She didn’t need courage.

  What she took from him was joy, love, peace.

  When they pulled down Dax’s long driveway, she shouldn’t have been surprised to see familiar cars.

  Jumping from the car, she reached in to unbuckle Ali. “Come on, baby alien. You have a family to meet.”

  She followed Dax into the house. As soon as the door shut behind them, they were assaulted by some of the best people they knew. Dax’s mom was first. Jo dreamed of having a mom when she was young, and she imagined that pretend mom would have been a lot like Dax’s. The doctor surprised her with a hug.

  Noah practically ran across the living room. “Where is she? Where’s my girl?”

  She prepared for a Noah crushing hug, but he only had eyes for Ali.

  “Come to Papa Noah.”

  Jo laughed and relinquished her hold on Ali.

  Noah walked back toward the kitchen. “StellBell, come see your sister. I think she’s grown since you were at the hospital.” In less than a day?

  Melanie watched him with a grin on her face. “He’s been telling Stella she was going to have a sibling the entire time we were in London.” She turned to Jo. “How are you?”

  Jo shared a smile with Dax. “I’m good, Mel. Like actually good. Is this real life?”

  “Oh, honey.” She pulled Jo into a hug. “I’m happy for you.”

  “Yes!” Ben shot up from the couch. “Noah, I figured it out.”

  Dax joined them, staring at his TV as a phone rang. When the ringing stopped, Drew appeared on the screen.

  Dax stared at him. “You figured out how to call him using my TV for the video?”

  Ben nodded, pride on his face.

  Jo groaned. “Wasn’t a small sized Drew enough? Now, we have a way-too-big Drew.”

  “I heard that.” Drew smirked. “How are my two favorite girls?”

  “We’re fine, thanks.” Jo crossed her arms.

  “Kinda meant Alien and Stella.”

  Jo pointed to the screen. “See! He called her alien too.”

  Dax hooked his pinky with hers. “Do you really want to follow Drew’s lead on this?”

  “No.” Jo glanced at Noah and Stella huddled over the baby. “Fine, it’s just Ali.”

  Melanie perched on the arm of the couch. “With many of us back in town, we thought having a meeting would be good.”

  “A meeting. The day I come home from the hospital? Forgive me for saying it, but Mel… I kind just want to sleep and hold my baby.”

  “There’s a reason for this meeting.” Dax pressed a kiss to her cheek.

  Jo looked to each of her friends, the people claiming to be her family. “Dax Nelson, you better not be proposing.”

  He choked on a laugh. “Well, if I was, you’d have just ruined it.”

  She loved Dax, she knew that now. “I’m sorry. It’s just… there’s so much changing right now. I love you. I know I’ll love you until you’re dead and buried.”

  One eyebrow lifted. “And if you die before me?”

  “Won’t happen. But the point is I just had a baby. Yesterday. I pushed a bowling ball alien out of me. My entire life is going to be different. I just… I need time to get used to this before everything changes aga—”

  Dax pressed his lips to hers. Noah hooted and hollered until Melanie slapped him. At least, Jo assumed it was Melanie when she heard it.

  “I wasn’t going to ask you to marry me.” He stepped back away from her. “One day, I will.” A smile stretched across his lips. “I never used to know what to say to you, Jo. But now, now I can’t stop talking. You changed my life.” He held out a hand. “Come with me.”

  She took it without thought, trusting him in anything he said. He pulled her toward the guest room next to the room she’d lived in for the past month or so. The others followed.

  She faintly heard Drew yelling for them to put him on a tablet. Ben fiddled with that so Drew could come wherever they were going.

  Dax stopped at the closed door, his hand resting on the knob. After a moment of hesitation, he opened the door. “All lights on.”

  Just like in the rest of the house, the lights responded to his voice, illuminating the room. Jo’s steps faltered, and she couldn’t believe what she was seeing.

  “This is why I wasn’t at the hospital yesterday afternoon. It’s why Ben and Noah didn’t come today. We needed this to be ready for you.”

  Tears welled in Jo’s eyes as she took in the dark wood crib and matching changing table. A white rocking chair took up one corner next to a bookshelf and dresser.

  “There are also bottles and pacifiers in the kitchen.” Dax stood at her side. “You can change anything. We can paint the walls. I didn’t have time for that. But if you don’t like it, that’s okay.”

  “Dax,” she whispered.

  He kept talking. “I know some moms like to pick out the stuff themselves, but you hadn’t done any of that, so we—”

  “Dax.”

  He stopped and looked down at her.

  She swallowed back a sob. “This is the question, the one you wa
nt to ask me today? Please, just say it.”

  “Oh.” His cheeks reddened as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, your apartment is awfully small, and I have this giant house.”

  “Dax.”

  He closed his eyes for a brief moment, and when he opened them, the awkwardness was gone. “Move in with me.”

  A smile curved her lips as he kept going.

  “I don’t want to live in this empty house on my own anymore. I think… I think I need you here, challenging me and fighting me. Inspiring me.”

  “You built a nursery.” Her words shook.

  “I did.”

  “Babies aren’t always easy to live with. They cry. They make messes and break things.”

  He leaned down, nuzzling the side of her face. “I want all of that. I want us to be a family, Jo. Isn’t that why you put my name on the birth certificate?”

  She looked from him to the rest of the guys. “We are a family.” She turned, rising on her toes. “I put you on that birth certificate because you shifted your world to call yourself Ali’s father. You gave up so much when her biological father will never know her. So, yes, Dax Nelson. I will live with you, sharing every memory, celebrating every milestone.”

  He captured her in a searing kiss that elicited some throat clearing from the others.

  Noah sat on the floor, setting Ali on a mat before him. Jo kneeled down next to her. “Welcome home, baby girl. Welcome to the family.”

  The Rockstars Anonymous family.

  Noah looked to Dax. “When do we start arguing over which instrument she learns first?”

  Jo leaned down, ignoring the boys. “Any instrument you want, Ali. Or none at all.” She dropped her voice. “But really, it’ll be drums.”

  The rest of the group joined them on the floor of the new nursery.

  Jo grew up wondering if she’d ever have anyone she could count on. Then came Noah. Then, the rest of Rockstars Anonymous.

  She leaned back against Dax as he wrapped his arms around her while they watched their baby girl.

  Life would never be the same for any of them.

  And yet, Jo had never felt so optimistic about the future. Whatever came, whether it was her father or Blake or the scorn from some of her fans, they’d get through it.

  They might not be a harem like the gossip blogs claimed. But Rockstars Anonymous became something bigger than themselves.

  They loved each other. A true unselfish love.

  There were more differences between them than similarities. And yet, their worlds still turned.

  Dax pressed a kiss to her cheek.

  In the music industry, they demand consistency. Few musical careers survive with ever-changing sounds. But in life, change was the only way to move forward.

  And love… it was music.

  Love was the lyrics that told a story.

  Love was the dance steps that brought people together.

  Love was the harmony that put two people in sync.

  And love… well, it was the beat of a drum echoing the song of her heart.

  Flip the page for your bonus chapters!

  Bonus Chapter 1

  Jo

  Whoever said you should marry someone who is like your best friend was wrong. So wrong. All they had to do was fly down to St. Croix to witness Noah Clarke and Drew Stone frolicking in the waves.

  Yes, frolicking. That was the only word to describe it.

  Noah would always be Jo’s best friend, the guy who became her family when she had none.

  It was okay that her future husband wasn’t her bestie. He was more than that, existing on a plane of existence in her mind that Noah would never touch.

  Noah Clarke was her best friend.

  And Dax Nelson… well, he was everything else. Her best person.

  Jo did one more sweep down the beach to make sure the boys were watching Stella, though she now claimed she was old enough not to have babysitters.

  Noah chased Stella up the beach, swinging her into his arms before taking off back toward Drew. Stella screamed in between her giggles.

  Melanie stepped up beside Jo in the old yellow concrete bell tower and looped her arm through Jo’s. “If I know Jo Jackson, she’s currently jealous the boys get to spend the day of her wedding playing on the beach while the girls have to primp and fuss.”

  Jo sighed. “I really don’t like primping.”

  “That’s why they give us champagne.” Piper smiled as she took her place next to them and handed Jo a flute.

  Jo hated champagne. The bubbles did weird things to her throat. But she’d drink it and smile as she did. It wasn’t normal for her to have girlfriends, but she’d always had Melanie, respected Piper, and cheered for Lola—when she was winning Drew’s heart.

  Now, she was the only unmarried one of the bunch. It had been four years since Jo moved in with Dax. The best four years of her life. It took Dax two years to propose, and here they were.

  “Mom!” Ali ran toward them. “I want a makeover too.” Despite Jo’s attempts at getting Ali to be musically inclined and not girly, she got the girliest girl of them all. And she loved every minute of playing dress up and Barbies.

  Dax came running down the stone path. “I’m sorry. Sorry! She escaped me, and this kid is fast. Don’t tell me we’re raising an athlete. What would we do with an athlete?”

  The bridesmaids yelled at Dax from every direction, and he froze. “What? What’s wrong?”

  “Jo, hide further in the bell tower.” Melanie shoved her forward.

  She hid behind a pillar of stone that gave her both a view of the guys on the beach and of the bewildered Dax.

  Piper sighed. “Dax, you aren’t supposed to see her. I gave you your schedule for tonight.” Piper helped Jo plan the wedding and took care of things like a confused groom.

  “Wait.” His brow furrowed. “That schedule was real?”

  “Of course.” Piper crossed her arms.

  “Do you realize you scheduled a nap for me?” Dax rubbed the back of his head. “I’m thirty-three, Pipes, not three.”

  “A three year old could follow schedules better than you lot. Go hang with the guys. We’re going to finish at the salon and take pictures.”

  “Uh, okay. Want me to take Ali?”

  Dax’s mom put a protective hand on Ali’s shoulder. “My granddaughter can stay with me.”

  Four years ago, it had taken a total of five minutes for Dax’s mom to start in on the grandma stuff. Jo couldn’t help but smile when she heard it.

  “Back to the salon, ladies,” Piper called.

  Jo stayed in hiding until Dax left, and then she relaxed against the stone wall.

  “You’ll get your dress dirty.” Melanie held a hand out to take Jo’s champagne.

  “Thanks.” In the weeks after moving in with Dax, Jo got busy changing the uglier parts of her life to fit the one she wanted with Dax. Melanie helped her, getting the police involved to threaten her dad. She hadn’t heard from him since.

  And Blake… it took Jo two days of looking into Ali’s face to have a lawyer draw up a document relinquishing all his rights. He signed it without so much as a word to her.

  Jo straightened and brushed her hands down the soft white, strapless bodice. It was simple, just like Jo.

  Her hair had grown out since she cut it. She ran her fingers over the blue tips. She was still a rock star, still a drummer. The hair was a part of her.

  “The girls are waiting.” The hotel had a salon on premises which made it super easy. When Jo didn’t respond, Melanie tried again. “The photographer will be here soon.”

  “I just…” Jo smiled as she looked from the water crashing at the shore to Dax joining the guys in their game of Stella hot potato. “I want to take it all in.” This day… this life…

  “It doesn’t seem real, does it?”

  If anyone knew about moving on from the past, it was Melanie. “Does this happiness ever start to feel real?”

  “In time. But
it’s up to you. You have to let yourself believe you deserve it. Everyone deserves to be happy, Jo.”

  She smiled at Melanie. “We should go in before they send Piper out after us.”

  Melanie laughed. “And we love her anyway.”

  “Yes. We do.”

  Jo turned and walked between the gauzy curtains flapping in the salty island breeze. When she entered the salon, she caught sight of Ali getting her nails done.

  “Momma.” Ali grinned. “I’ma be pretty like you.”

  Jo bent to kiss the top of her head. “You’re always pretty, sweetie.”

  She took a seat between Piper and Melanie, waiting for her turn to get her hair done. Sure, this was torture compared to being down on that beach, but even on a day like today, on her wedding day, it wasn’t about what she did, but who she did it with.

  “I can’t believe I’m getting married today.”

  Piper smiled. “I can’t believe you’re marrying Dax.”

  They all laughed at that. The once anonymous singer who was now known to start mob scenes just by arriving somewhere.

  “It couldn’t be anyone else.”

  Melanie took one hand while Piper took the other. Lola smiled from the salon chair.

  Dax was the person for her. And the rest of these ridiculous people who drove her nuts sometimes… they were the family for her.

  Bonus Chapter 2

  Dax

  Dax never thought he’d get married. He hadn’t imagined himself falling in love or becoming a father.

  Yet, he had.

  And it was nothing like he’d expected.

  The ending certainly wasn’t.

  Once he’d gotten the guys up from the beach, they dressed in their tuxes—despite protests that they should get to wear grass skirts. It was a long conversation to explain to them not every island in the world was Hawaii.

  Dax straightened his shoulders as the music started. He shared a smile with his mom and stepdad. Stella started down the aisle, throwing flower petals at her feet with a giant grin on her face. The pink dress she wore would match Ali’s.