Home for a Hero

by Heatherly Bell

  “When was the last time you went out?” he asked.

  “Can I pass on that question?” Jamie laughed and took a bite of the slice. “It’s been a while.”

  “If another guy so much as looks at you he’ll have me to deal with, so you’re in safe hands.”

  Jamie picked at some chocolate and then took a sip of coffee, because she didn’t want to make eye contact with Brett. There was only one guy she was worried about, and he was sitting directly across from her. He might trust himself, but she wasn’t entirely sure that her thoughts were as pure.

  Chapter 3

  Jamie padded barefoot into the kitchen and fed Bear. She poured herself a glass of water and leaned on the counter, slowly drinking it, concentrating on the cool liquid and how it felt as she swallowed. It was the only thing she could think of to calm her nerves, other than going for a run, and after the time she’d spent in the shower and doing her hair, she had no intention of getting sweaty.

  What was she doing?

  It wasn’t the fact that she was going out that was making her feel guilty, because she was in desperate need of doing something fun that got her out of the house. Her problem was that she couldn’t stop thinking about Brett, and it was making her feel things that she had no right to feel.

  She’d dolled herself up, made more of an effort than she had in months to look good, and it was Brett she was trying to impress. It was as if all the years of flirting had finally caught up with them, and with Sam not here, things were starting to feel awkward, fast. Or maybe not so much awkward as exciting.

  “Brett is forbidden. Brett is my friend,” she muttered, realizing that she was looking at her dog as if he were part of the conversation. “Tell me I’m crazy, Bear. I’m crazy, aren’t I?”

  He just stared up at her, pausing, before going back to eating his dinner.

  Jamie sighed and dumped her water glass in the sink before walking back to her bedroom and looking at the clothes she’d thrown on the bed. She had her little black dress, a pair of satin pants and a sexy top, and her favorite skinny jeans. She reached for the dress and held it up, looking at her reflection in the floor-length mirror behind the door.

  She wanted to wear the dress. She wanted to make Brett notice her. She wanted to feel sexy.

  Jamie stripped down to her underwear and slipped on the dress. She was about to reach for a pair of five-inch black heels that she’d never worn before, that were just stuck in her closet, when her hand stopped moving. Everything stopped. Because just above her shoe rack, hanging on a little hook, was her husband’s dog tag on its silver chain.

  Jamie slowly reached for it, fingers clasping the cool metal, tracing over the tag that she’d spent so many hours staring at since he’d gone. The same tag that she’d often touched when they’d been lying together, in bed on a lazy morning....

  “If anything ever happened to you, would they give me this?”

  Sam frowned. “Nothing’s going to happen to me, baby, but yeah. They would.”

  She reached for it again, turning it over and reading the inscription out aloud. “Samuel Harvey Mattheson. O positive.”

  “Are you going to recite all my vitals, too?”

  Jamie lay her head on Sam’s bare chest, still holding his tag as she shut her eyes.

  “Don’t ever leave me, Sam. You have to promise to come home.”

  He kissed the top of her head. “Baby, I’m coming home. Haven’t I always told you that nothing could keep me away from you?”

  “How can you be so sure?” She kissed his chest, lips against his warm skin, before moving up and kissing his mouth, trying to stop tears from falling down her cheeks and onto his face.

  “If I don’t, then promise me you’ll wear this. I don’t ever want you to forget me, Jamie....”

  Jamie had sunk to the floor, tears pricking her eyes then falling in a slow, steady trickle down her cheeks and into her mouth. What was she doing? How could she even be thinking about Brett like she had been? What was wrong with her?

  But she knew. Deep down, she knew.

  There had been a spark between her and Brett for years, a spark that could have easily turned into something more if they’d met at the right time, and now he was here and she was a widow. Her feelings were only natural. But they were also wrong. Being lonely wasn’t an excuse to give in to any of those feelings, not now, not ever.

  Jamie reached back up for the tag and took it down, slipping it around her neck. She needed Sam close to her, wanted him close to her, and she was upset that she’d forgotten the promise she’d made to him that she’d wear it.

  She also slipped back out of the dress, suddenly not wanting to make Brett notice her like that. She reached for her skinny jeans instead, paired them with heels and pulled a scoop-neck tank over her head. Jamie finished the look with a biker-style leather jacket and hoop earrings, before going back into the bathroom to fix her makeup. She smoothed foundation over her tearstains, put on some more mascara and touched up her lip gloss, before running a hand through her smooth hair—courtesy of her straightening iron.

  When the doorbell rang and Bear started barking, she took one final look in the mirror and kissed Sam’s dog tag.

  Tonight, he was with her, looking out for her, just like his friends were. She couldn’t stop her feelings for Brett, but she could stop herself from acting on them.

  “Bear, it’s just Brett again.”

  He stopped barking as soon as she spoke, but he stayed by her side as she opened the door, like he had no intention of not protecting her, even if he wasn’t allowed to bark.

  “Hey,” she said, opening the door to find him standing a few steps back from the door, hands jammed in his jean pockets.

  “Hey,” Brett replied, moving forward. “You look, well, wow.”

  Jamie smiled, knowing she shouldn’t be so pleased that he liked the way she looked but unable to pretend otherwise. She reached for the dog tag, fingers closing around it as she looked at Brett, needing the reminder.

  “You don’t look so bad yourself,” she heard herself say.

  “Yeah? Well you look like you’re going to need a bodyguard to stay safe tonight.”

  Jamie laughed. “Well, lucky I have two of them, huh?”

  It was true—she could have worn the dress if she hadn’t been feeling so guilty, because Brett and Logan would act like her overprotective big brothers if a guy so much as looked at her too long, let alone if anyone tried anything on her.

  “So shall we go?” Brett asked.

  “Just let me check I’ve locked everything, and I need to grab my purse.”

  She disappeared back into the kitchen and then the living room, double-checking all the locks.

  “You know Bear would maul any strangers who even tried to come in here, right?”

  Jamie glanced across at Brett, knew he was watching her. He quickly looked up and met her gaze when she caught him out, but it sent a ripple of delight through her body that he was staring at her, no matter what she’d been telling herself as she stood in the closet.

  “So not only do I have personal bodyguards escorting me tonight, you’re telling me that I have one living in my house now? A big, furry, ninety-pound one?”

  Brett held up her purse for her and waited for her to walk ahead of him down the hall. Her face flushed as she realized he could be checking out her butt.

  “I’m saying that you’re safe with Bear here, and you’re definitely safe with me,” he told her, his voice a note lower than it had been earlier.

  Jamie glanced over her shoulder and waited for Brett to follow her out the door. Then she locked it and looped her hand through his arm. She could have so easily dropped her head to his shoulder, given him a hug, but she didn’t want to blur the lines of their friendship. Once she wouldn’t have thought twice about touching him like that, because before it
had never meant anything, but she knew he was feeling the change between them and the spark that seemed to have ignited since he’d walked back into her life.

  “Thanks for taking me out tonight,” she told him, ignoring everything else and saying the one thing she needed him to hear. “I feel like I’ve been alone for a really long time, and it’s nice to just get out of the house and have fun.”

  The taxi was waiting for them, and he opened the door for her to slide in before sitting beside her.

  “Here’s to a good night,” he said, covering her knee with his hand.

  But as soon as he did it, he backed off. Fast. Because the way he looked at her, the way she couldn’t help but look back at him when he touched her, must have scared him as much as it damn well terrified her.

  Chapter 4

  “This feels weird,” Jamie said as they walked through the door of the bar.

  Brett couldn’t have agreed more. He felt like they were on a date, the two of them heading out for the evening, and it didn’t help that he was thinking things he wished he wasn’t about Jamie. The music was loud but not overpowering, and because it was still early it wasn’t completely packed with people yet.

  He looked around for Logan, desperate to see him. Once they found him, he could go get some drinks, leave the pair of them to catch up and deal with getting his head in the right space. It was bad enough that he’d spent the day before with Jamie, but seeing her again tonight was too much, too soon.

  “There he is.”

  Jamie was leaning into him, talking into his ear over the noise and the music. He looked where she was pointing, groaning as she took hold of his hand. He got it; she was probably nervous about being out on the town without her husband, was reaching to him for support. But the way he was feeling right now, he didn’t need her hand thrust into his, fingers interlaced as she walked slightly ahead of him toward Logan.

  When they reached him Brett pulled his hand away and ran it through his hair instead. He needed to get it together, and fast. Logan would notice straight away if anything was going on, and he didn’t want to be interrogated by anyone—especially not his best mate. Logan would be the first person to call him to task if he knew even the half of what he’d been thinking.

  “Hey, Jamie.” Logan jumped off the bar stool and wrapped his arms around her, giving her a big hug.

  When he let go, Brett stepped forward and greeted him, grabbing hold of one of his hands and slapping him on the back at the same time. They hadn’t seen each other in months.

  “How are you, stranger?”

  Brett shrugged. “Better now I’ve seen you.”

  They stared at one another, so much unsaid, but it only lasted a moment. Logan knew what had happened, would be the only person in Brett’s life who would ever come close to understanding what he’d experienced, although even he couldn’t imagine how disturbing it had been, how violent. They hadn’t seen each other in a long while, had a lot of catching up to do.

  Brett shook off his thoughts. “What are we drinking? My shout.”

  “Start with a beer or straight to bourbon?” Logan asked.

  Jamie laughed, and Brett angled his body to better include her. He’d been so wound up in seeing Logan again that he’d almost forgotten about her. Brett touched his palm to her back, moving her forward between them and taking a step back to make room for her.

  “I think we’ll start with beer. How about you?”

  Jamie smiled. “Um, maybe a cocktail for me.”

  Logan raised his eyebrows and Brett laughed. “So maybe we’ll start with bourbon then, if you’re hitting the strong stuff straight away.”

  Jamie leaned over the counter to reach for a menu. “It’s been a looong time since I’ve been out. Can’t you tell? The only cocktail I can think of is a Cosmopolitan from Sex and the City, but there must be something else....”

  “Long Island iced teas,” Logan announced. “Three of them.”

  Jamie pushed her shoulders up, shrugging, an innocent expression on her face. Brett needed to warn her.

  “They’re kind of potent,” he said.

  Her smile was sweet enough to make him feel dirty for admiring her cleavage when she leaned forward.

  “Lucky I have you two to look after me then, huh?” She put an arm around each of them, her smile infectious. “I need a night of just having fun, so order away, boys. I’m in.”

  Brett did as he was told and watched her walk off with Logan, looking for a quieter, more comfortable place to sit. They all had a lot to talk about, or maybe they didn’t. Maybe tonight was about letting Jamie have fun without feeling guilty, just being there for her and making sure she had a good time and got home safely at the end of the evening.

  He just had to remind himself that he would have plenty to be guilty about if he ever let himself give in to the way he was feeling about her. Brett paid for the drinks and stuffed his wallet back in his pocket, before carrying their drinks to the table. He could see Jamie leaning toward Logan, talking, touching his shoulder as they discussed something that had her smiling. Logan was rock-solid, the perfect guy to be spending time with Jamie, because he would honor his word and never do anything that would jeopardize their friendship or the one he’d had with Sam. Trouble was, it wasn’t Logan who was spending time with Jamie, because he was still working.

  “Drink up,” he announced, placing the tall glasses on the table and sitting down beside Jamie.

  The way she looked at him took him by surprise, made him hope that Logan hadn’t noticed it, but maybe he was just being oversensitive.

  “To Sam,” Logan said, holding up his drink. “A good soldier, a damn good friend and husband to the sweetest woman I’ve ever met.”

  Brett glanced at Jamie, saw her eyes were damp. He held up his own glass. “Cheers to that.”

  They all took a sip, but Jamie was spluttering as soon as she’d swallowed her first mouthful.

  “Are you guys trying to kill me? This stuff is like poison.”

  Brett laughed. “It gets better. Just keep drinking.”

  “Has Brett shown you his new tattoo?” Logan asked.

  Jamie shook her head, looking at him. “Nope.” She took another sip and grimaced again.

  “Brett had his done as soon as he was out of recovery, and I got mine when I touched down in Australia.”

  “You have new matching ones?” she asked. “Can I see?”

  Logan pushed his T-shirt up, rolling his arm around to show the words marked in black ink, curling letters over four short rows.

  “‘Fight a battle for a cause that’s worth the victory. Fight a war that’s worth dying for. Remain brave in death. Honor those you love.’” Jamie stared at Logan’s arm as she finished reading the words.

  Brett knew she was fighting emotion, because her voice had become low and husky, a deeper tone than he’d ever heard from her. He responded by rolling up his shirt until he could show her his matching ink, only just able to push the fabric high enough for her to see it.

  Jamie turned to inspect his properly, trailing her fingers across each word as if she were writing them, committing them to memory. Her touch was light, and when her hand dropped to land on his thigh, it almost made him lose the drink he’d just reached for.

  “You did these for Sam, didn’t you?” she asked.

  Brett nodded when she looked at him, and Logan did the same.

  “Well, they’re beautiful,” she said, dabbing her eyes with the back of her fingers. “Maybe I should get one, too?”

  “No,” Brett said, faster than he’d meant to.

  “I don’t think so,” Logan chimed in, almost as quickly.

  Jamie raised an eyebrow, looking puzzled. “Because I’m a girl? They’re not exactly military tattoos, are they?”

  Brett looked to Logan for help but didn’t receive any. He cleare
d his throat, not wanting to dig himself a hole that he couldn’t claw his way out of, but not having any intention of letting her ink herself.

  “Your skin is beautiful and you don’t need any ink, Jamie. Don’t go rushing into anything.”

  “Just keep wearing that tag,” Logan added. “It’s what he would have wanted.”

  She laughed and took a hearty sip of her drink, before slowly downing the rest of it.

  “Bottoms up, boys,” she announced, grinning at them over the top of her glass.

  Brett and Logan exchanged looks before shrugging and following her lead.

  “My round this time. Another?” Jamie asked.

  They both said yes and watched her walk away, like two bodyguards ready to pounce on anyone who so much as bumped into her.

  “‘Your skin is so beautiful’?” Logan mimicked, punching him in the arm. “Seriously, couldn’t you have come up with anything better than that?”

  Brett glared at him. “It wasn’t like you were stepping in to help me out.”

  “Yeah, I was too busy watching you swooning over her. You know she’s out of bounds, right? Because I’ll...”

  Brett gave him a playful shove, trying to laugh the comment off. “You don’t have to tell me, I know.”

  “I miss him, Brett. I seriously miss him.”

  Brett leaned back in his seat, watching Jamie at the bar as she leaned toward the bartender to place her order. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t noticed the dog tag she was wearing around her neck, but then he’d been trying his hardest not to look at her chest, and the way the tag was being swallowed by her breasts... Brett cleared his throat. That wasn’t something he needed to think about right now. Sam had been like his surrogate brother, and he would never disrespect anyone he considered family.

  “I can’t stop thinking about that day. It’s screwed up, Logan. The things I saw, what happened, I just wish I could forget it all, for good.”

  Brett shut his eyes, blocked the memories out, doing what he always did. Because forcing them away was a damn sight easier than dealing with them, and he didn’t want to go there, not now.