by AJ Alexander
“Who’s asking? You or the ladies?”
“Me. Can’t I be concerned about my friend’s happiness?” he responds defensively.
“You can. We had a great night together. We spent most of the night getting to know each other again. She told me all about the performances she had while part of the ballet.”
“Did she tell you about her accident?”
“Yes,” I murmur. “The doctor gave her a clean bill of health. She should be back to dancing in no time.”
“And how do you feel about her dancing professionally again?”
“I’m happy for her. I want to have the chance to watch her dance across the stage with a blinding smile on her face, but…” my voice trails off.
“But what?”
Without looking up from my desk, I voice my greatest fear aloud. “I’m scared that she’s just going to pick up and leave again without a word.”
“She’s putting down roots this time, Vance. She bought the dance studio, she’s making new friends, and she’s making a place for herself in town again. Even if she wanted to just pick up and leave, she has responsibilities now,” he replies immediately.
I nod my head in response.
Selina is no longer an eighteen-year-old girl with no responsibilities. She has a business and people who depend on her. And the one thing I know for certain hasn’t changed about her is her commitment and loyalty. She would never desert those girls, especially with how much dancing means to her.
“You’re right, man.” I give him a tight smile before burying my head back in my work.
We work on some paperwork for a few hours before Connor’s phone chimes and he reaches for it. As soon as he reads the message on the screen, his face immediately falls.
“What? Did Audrey cancel your plans for tonight to spend time with the girls?” I chuckle. “Don’t worry, man. We can grab a few beers and then have our ladies to ourselves for the night.”
“She left,” Connor says as he pushes back from his desk and heads toward me. “That was Audrey. Audrey, Bristol, and Seli got together this morning when the call came in. Apparently, some famous producer specifically asked for Seli to come to an audition tomorrow morning. She’s on her way to New York.”
“That’s amazing,” I say enthusiastically, not wanting to give into the sharp pain radiating through my entire body as my heart drops into my stomach.
Just the mention of her leaving without a word for the second time feels like my entire world is crashing down around me. I want to rage against everything and anyone standing in my way, but I know this one is on me. I fooled myself into believing Selina would understand how I feel, but I was wrong.
I believed that this time would be different. I thought if I showed her how much I genuinely care for her, she would include me in her life, even if it took her far away from here.
But, then again, this was all last minute. Maybe it wasn’t a case of she didn’t want to include me in her decision, but that she couldn’t. She only had a few moments to make a decision that could change her life forever.
“I hope she has a safe trip. I need to text her tonight and say congratulations,” I mutter as I grip the edge of my desk.
No matter how last-minute this was, she still decided not to include me in her decision at all. She could have texted me from the airport or, hell, even just sent an email. But instead, once again, she left me without a word, and I’m left wondering if she ever cared for me in the first place.
Selina wouldn’t just disappear again. She can’t this time. She has a dance studio here now. Responsibilities. But when she comes back, will it be for good or just to say goodbye?
“You alright, man?” Connor asks skeptically as he leans against the side of my desk.
“Of course. We had dinner and talked last night. We never made any promises about what the future holds.”
“She’ll come back,” he tells me.
“Yeah, I know,” I mumble.
What I don’t know is whether she’ll stay. If this is goodbye, I’m not sure my heart can take it this time around.
Chapter Eight
Vance
“Is it going to get easier?” I mumble into my empty room as the sun filters in through my bedroom window.
I attempt to sit up, but immediately fall back into bed as I wait for the room to stop spinning.
When I opened my eyes yesterday morning, I felt as if I could take on the world. I had finally laid my heart out on the line and told the girl of my dreams that I wanted to spend my life with her. But that all came crashing down the moment Connor received that text.
I tried to pretend nothing happened, that my world wasn’t slowly crumbling around me, but I’m sure everyone noticed. I ended up spending most of the day checking my phone, waiting to hear something, anything, from Selina, but nothing came. I pulled up her number so many times, trying to find the words to explain how I was feeling, but nothing came.
Speaking of texts, my phone buzzes along the end table. I roll over quickly and grab the phone to check if it’s Selina, but it's Connor.
“Hey, man,” Connor says, his voice rough with sleep.
“Hey,” I croak as I roll back in the bed, laying my head on the pillow and throwing my arm over my eyes. “What’s up?”
“I’m hurting this morning. I called the foreman and told him neither one of us will stop at the site today,” Connor groans, and I hear the rustling of sheets through the phone.
“Remind me to never drink again,” I respond, trying to move once again, but blinding pain shoots through my head, making stars dance before my eyes.
“Until next time life throws either of us a curveball, right? We’re too old to be drinking like this anymore,” Connor complains.
I hear Audrey’s muffled voice in the background, and then I hear muffled voices through the phone for a few moments.
“Who says we’re old?” I retort.
“My fifteen-year-old daughter and a pounding headache,” Audrey giggles softly. “Hi, Vance.”
“Fair enough. Well, it seems like you have better things to do this morning. Get some rest, man. I’ll call you later.”
We say our goodbyes before I hang up the phone and finally find the courage to move.
Rolling to my side, I slowly sit up and swing my legs over the side of the bed, pausing for a few moments. Once the pain subsides, I push myself to the standing position and slowly make my way toward the bathroom in search of some pain medication. Anything to stop the pounding in my head.
I don’t turn on the light as I rummage through the medicine cabinet, grasp a small bottle, and shake two small pills into my hand. Thankfully, I don’t have any other medications, or this would be dangerous. I throw the pills into my mouth and wash them down with a small gulp of water using the cup on the counter.
As I turn to head back to bed, I catch my reflection in the mirror. Gone is the easygoing man without a care in the world. He’s been replaced with someone who has nothing left to smile about.
Although losing myself in way too many bottles of beer last night helped for a little while, I’m still no closer to finding a solution to my problem. I could call Selina and ask her directly where we stand, but I’m afraid. Afraid of her putting the last nail in the coffin and ending my years of hope that she would come back to me.
“Stop being so dramatic,” I say to my reflection before turning to get into the shower.
Lying around in bed will only give me more time to focus on everything that is going on and worry about what might happen, which will do nothing for my state of mind.
I shower quickly and dress in a dark pair of jeans and a flannel shirt rolled to the elbow. Then I grab my keys and wallet off the end table and pause before grabbing my phone. I unlock it and scroll down to her number, hesitating for a few moments. Shaking my head, I shove it into my back pocket.
“If she wanted to talk to you, she would have called. Just wait until she comes back, and you can discuss thing
s with her then,” I say out loud as I head toward the closet and shove my feet into my work boots before heading down the stairs and out the door.
Once I’m in my truck, I head directly for the coffee shop, in desperate need of some caffeine. I head right for the front counter and place my order, leaving no time for conversations with Katie behind the counter.
She gives me a skeptical look, but thankfully says nothing as she rings up my order.
Since the morning rush has passed, I get my coffee in no time and am headed toward the office. I know Connor said we could take the day off, but sitting around and worrying about Selina isn’t helping anything. I might as well head in and get some work done. I pull up to the work site and head directly into the office. Thankfully, all of the guys stay out of my way, more than likely from the verbal ass-kicking I gave them yesterday.
I work for a few hours, filling some invoices and finishing up some paperwork before my stomach rumbles loudly. A big juicy burger with all the fixings sounds amazing right now, so I shut everything down quickly and head out the door.
When I’m at the end of the drive, I have two choices: I can turn right toward my house or go left and head into town.
I choose left. The last place I want to be right now is my house. The house filled with memories of the life I planned for Selina and me to share. A life I’m not even sure will happen anymore.
“Crawdaddy’s it is,” I say aloud to the thin air.
I drive down Main Street past the diner and a few other shops before spotting the neon sign a few miles in front of me. I pull into a spot and head directly inside, grabbing a stool at the end of the bar. Already knowing what I want, I grab Beckett’s attention and place my order.
“We’ve got a new microbrew that I think you might like, if you wanna try it,” Beckett says as he throws a towel over his shoulder, resting both arms on the bar and leaning forward slightly. “It’s from Big Beach Brewing, called Dixie’s Heart. I’d love to get your opinion on it.”
“Sure. Why the hell not?” I respond, fully aware that having anything else to drink is a bad idea.
Beckett nods his head slightly in response before turning on his heels and heading toward the draft station to grab my beer. He is back in a flash, and I take a healthy drink, letting it sit on my tongue for a few moments before swallowing.
“Not my favorite, but I think it’ll be a good seller.”
“Fair enough,” Beckett says, then heads to check on another customer near the end of the bar.
I look around the bar, hoping to notice a familiar face, but come up short. Not wanting to sit here alone, I pull my phone out of my pocket and dial Connor’s number.
“Hey,” Connor says over the loud voices in the background.
I pull the phone away from my ear. “Having a party you forgot to invite me to?”
He doesn’t miss the sarcasm in my voice. “Asshole. I was actually just getting ready to call you. We’re having a barbecue at the house. Audrey invited Bristol and some girls from class over.”
“Nah. Thanks, man. I’m just grabbing a burger over at Beckett’s place before heading home and back to bed. I’m still not feeling one hundred percent.”
“Alright. If you change your mind you know where to find me,” Connor says.
“Thanks,” I respond half-heartedly before hanging up the phone.
I know he means well, but the last thing I want to do right now is hang out with my best friend and his family. I’m so happy that he finally found love again with Audrey, but I don’t need their happiness shoved down my throat.
I have no idea when or if Selina is going to come back, let alone whether she wants to be with me. Last night could easily have been a one-time thing for her, although I made it clear that I wanted something more.
I stare at my phone for a few minutes before opening my contacts list and scrolling down to Selina’s name. My thumb hovers over the call button for a few moments, unable to make myself hit it.
I’m not the angry eighteen-year-old boy who was more worried about his pride than chasing after the girl of his dreams anymore, but still, I’ve found myself in the same situation. Except this time, I poured my heart out to her, and she left once again without a word.
“You look like a guy who has a lot on his mind.” The barstool to my left scrapes against the floor as the owner of the voice sits down.
“You could say that,” I reply, taking another sip of my beer as Beckett places my burger in front of me.
“Thanks,” I say as I set my phone on the bar and pick the burger up, taking a healthy bite.
Beckett nods his head before taking my neighbor's order and writing it down. As he turns to head toward the kitchen, he stops, noticing my phone on the bar.
“Selina Grymes?” he asks.
I nod my head, not wanting to have this conversation right now. I came here to forget about my problems, not be reminded of them.
“How’s she doing? I haven’t seen her around since she moved back home.”
“She actually just left to head back to the city. She has a big audition and is hoping to get back in with the company she was in before her injury.” I take another big bite of my burger.
“Good to hear. I always remember you were sweet on her when y’all were younger. Are things working out a little different this time around?”
“Who knows…” My voice trails off.
Thankfully, a rowdy group of people come barreling into the bar and grab his attention.
“Well, when you see her, tell her to stop by and grab a drink on the house,” Beckett tells me.
“Will do, but I don’t know how much longer she plans on being in town,” I mumble around the large bite of food in my mouth, then wash it down with another gulp of beer.
After a few moments, my neighbor breaks the silence. “There are only two reasons someone would sit in the bar during the middle of the day.”
“And what are those?”
“Getting off a graveyard shift or a broken heart. Which one is it?” he responds as Beckett places his drink in front of him. He nods his head in thanks before continuing. “You look more like someone with a broken heart.”
“What makes you think that?” I bite back, grinding my teeth together to stop from shouting.
If I wanted to have a social hour and discuss my feelings, I would have gone to hang at Connor’s house with everyone.
“Body language. The moment he mentioned her name, your whole demeanor changed.”
Beckett sets my new beer in front of me. “You seem a little tense.”
“Just got a lot on my mind.” I shove the last bite of my burger into my mouth and drop some cash on the bar. “Thanks for lunch.”
I give them both a half-assed salute and turn toward the door, but pause when I hear the strangers’ voice.
“If you love her, tell her.”
I continue my way out the door and head directly for the truck. As I put the key in the ignition, I pause as the stranger’s words finally sink in.
If I want different results, I have to try a new approach. I let my pride get in the way when we were younger, but not this time.
Finally realizing what I need to do, I pull my phone out of my pocket and dial Connor’s number again.
“Can you handle the project at Seaside Cove for a few days?” I blurt out, not even bothering to say hello.
“Yeah, no problem. Other than the meeting with the foreman tomorrow, everything seems to be on track,” he tells me. “What’s going on?”
I ignore his question. “Great. I need to head out of town for a few days or more. I’m not sure.”
“Where are you going?” he asks, but it sounds like he already knows the answer.
“New York.”
I hang up the phone and pull out of the spot, pointing my truck in the direction of the airport.
I lost Selina once. I don’t plan on letting it happen again.
Chapter Nine
Selina
“I’ll have the chef’s salad with Italian dressing on the side and no onions, please,” Brittany tells the waitress before looking over in my direction.
Brittany Hayden and I have been friends since I joined the dance company right after graduation. After I got the call to come in for an audition, she was the first person I called. Not only would she give me a place to stay, but she would make sure to fill me in on everything that has happened here in New York since I headed home.
As soon as I arrived, she whisked me off to the practice room to show me the audition piece. Luckily, it was a piece from Swan Lake that I have been dancing throughout my rehabilitation, knowing that if I could land the jump that caused my injury, my fear of being hurt again would be non-existent. By the end of the night, Brittany said I was dancing like I never left, with a grace she has never seen in anyone before.
She has been here for me every step of the way, even offering to have lunch with me while I wait for the call to let me know if I got the part.
The waitress clears her throat loudly, bringing me back to the present.
“I’ll have the same.” I give her an apologetic smile as I hand her my menu.
She flashes us both a smile before turning on her heel and heading toward the front of the café. I glance at my reflection in the mirror, noticing the small changes in my appearance.
“Are you nervous about the audition?” Brittany asks, giving me a reassuring smile.
“Of course. Who wouldn’t be? I haven’t danced professionally in months. I still can’t believe that they called me in for an audition. It should have been you dancing up there today instead.”
She reaches across the table and grips my hand, giving it a small squeeze. “Nonsense. Don’t think anything of it. The director specifically asked for you to audition before she decided. The part could go to any one of us.”
“Let’s just hope I have the spark she’s looking for.”
Memories of my audition filter through my mind as I pick apart every moment in my mind, wondering if what I put forth was enough. If I’m finally going to make it to center stage like I’ve always dreamed of.