by AJ Alexander
“Of course you do. They wouldn’t have called you if no one believed you would be the perfect person for this role.” Brittany gives me a small smile before she begins picking at the piece of bread on her plate. “How have things been for the last few months, Selina?”
“Rehab was hard, but I made it through,” I respond quickly before taking a sip of my water.
“Rehab and getting through the audition are all you’ve talked about since you arrived, which I understood. But now that the audition is over…spill the beans, girl.”
I give her a small smile. “There’s nothing to tell. I bought the dance studio in town from my old dance instructor and have been teaching ever since.”
“It must be amazing watching all those young girls grow as dancers.”
“You have no idea.”
I start regaling her with stories of all the girls that come through my studio. I tell her about teaching them how to pirouette and the excitement I felt the first time one of them completed a sauté without falling.
Brittany listens to all my stories, not once interrupting me or making light of all the accomplishments my students have made since I started teaching. As our waitress arrives with our food, I finally pause.
“I didn’t mean to monopolize the conversation, Brit. How are things going for you? How is it dancing as Odette in Swan Lake?” I ask, eager to hear of my friend’s success.
She was originally slated to dance opposite me as Odile before my injury, but once we knew how serious my condition was, it was a no-brainer. She would dance in my place and her understudy would perform as Odile.
“It was amazing! I have always wanted to be in Swan Lake, although I don’t think I did that part justice after spending months watching you dance,” she mumbles as she stabs her fork into her lettuce.
“Nonsense. You dance beautifully. Better than I could have with a bum foot.”
She gasps in shock.
“You didn’t think I’d leave before watching you perform at least once, did you?” I ask. “I was at almost every performance before I left for home.”
We eat in silence for a few minutes.
“And what about men?” Brittany asks with a smile.
I pause mid-bite, not wanting to have this conversation with anyone, let alone Brittany. “Who has time for men?”
“That means there’s someone.” She motions for me to start speaking.
I sigh. I don’t have the faintest idea how to explain what is going on with Vance and I.
“There’s nothing to tell. My ex and I reconnected for the first time in years.”
I take a sip of my water and send up a silent prayer that she’ll drop the subject, but no such luck.
“And?” she presses. “Your lack of response tells me there’s more to this story.”
Suddenly, it's like a light bulb goes off in her head.
“Wait a minute! Your ex from high school?!” she screeches loudly, drawing stares from some other patrons.
“Yes. Now keep your voice down, or I won’t tell you anything.”
She pretends to zip her lips and throw away the key, then leans forward, places her elbows on the table, and rests her chin in her hands, letting me know I have her full and undivided attention.
“I haven’t spoken to him since I left town the day before high school graduation,” I start.
“And?” She begins to tap her fingers on her cheeks, showing her annoyance.
“And we reconnected while I was home. I tried for months to get it through his head that I was coming back here the first chance I got, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. Finally, I gave in, hoping that after all these years, the spark would be gone.”
“But it wasn’t?” She leans back in her chair and crosses her arms.
“No, it wasn’t,” I sigh, burying my head in my hands. “I don’t know what to do.”
The idea of giving up everything I’ve been working so hard for to go back to my hometown in Alabama terrifies me. But when I think about what the future would hold there, my heart feels light, as if the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders.
Now if I can just get my heart and mind on the same page, I’ll be headed in the right direction, although that’s a lot easier said than done.
“What do you want?” Brittany asks as she slides her chair closer to mine and lays a comforting hand on my shoulder.
“That’s the million-dollar question. I’ve worked so hard to get where I am today, but I know in my heart that something has always been missing,” I sigh as I look toward the ceiling, wishing that I didn’t have to choose.
“Why can’t you have both? Did you ask him if he would move here?”
I shake my head. “He has a life and a business. His whole entire life has been spent in the same town. for goodness’ sake. It’s not fair to ask him to give all that up for me.”
“How do you know that isn’t what he would want?”
I turn my head to the side and look Brittany in the eyes. “I never asked.”
She throws her hands up in exasperation. “Girl, this is the shit eighties movies were written about.”
I laugh nervously as I take another mouthful and avoid looking into her eyes, although I know she’s right. Yes, I’ve always wanted to be a dancer, but the one thing being home for the last six months has shown me is that there is something missing. Or, in my case, maybe someone.
“The smile on your face says everything. You’ve been happier in the last twenty minutes talking about him than the entire time you’ve been back here in New York.” She pauses, making sure she has my attention. “I’ve only ever seen you that happy when you’re dancing.”
“Maybe, but this is my dream.” I use the same regurgitated answer I’ve been giving everyone since I came home.
Brittany gives me a soft smile. “You have been a dancer at the New York City Ballet for years and danced on hundreds of stages. If you ask me, that’s pretty badass.”
Images of what my life with Vance would be like. Nights spent on the dock sitting, swing in our swing, and telling each other about our days. I can see it all laid out in front of me and I yearn for it with all of my being. I’ve wanted to be a prima ballerina for most of my life, but it wasn’t until this moment that I realized I have something else that I cherish more than anything. More than being in the spotlight.
“Dreams can change,” I mumble to myself as tears pool in my eyes.
“They can,” she agrees. “Just because this wasn’t what you envisioned your life being at this point, doesn’t mean it wasn’t meant to be.”
Vance has been waiting for me to invite him into my life completely since the day I left him waiting on the dock of that old plantation house. It’s time I finally give him that answer.
“What if I’m too late?” I ask the one question that has been filtering through my mind during this entire conversation.
Once again, I left Vance, not bothering to include him in my decision. What if that’s the final straw? What if that’s the thing that sends him over the edge and he turns his back on me for good?
“Then he’s an idiot,” Brittany responds without hesitation.
“Thank you,” I whisper to my friend before pulling her in for a hug.
If it wasn’t for her making me open up about everything that was going on since I left, I never would have admitted to myself how this injury has changed things for the better.
“Anytime. Just promise to name your firstborn after me, and we can call it even.”
“You got it,” I respond just as my phone rings.
I search in my bag and pull it out, noticing the familiar number from the ballet come across the screen. I take a deep breath before answering and listen intently to the person on the other end.
“Hi. This is Stefanie from New York City Ballet. We’re delighted to inform you that you have been selected to perform the role of Juliet in this season’s production of Romeo and Juliet.”
I look over at
my friend and grasp her hand tightly.
“I want to thank you for this opportunity, but my place is with my students,” I respond confidently.
“We understand,” she responds politely. “If there is anything the company can do for you in the future, please let us know.”
“Thank you. I do have one small favor to ask.” I pause and flash Brittany a bright smile. “I know it’s not my place, but I would recommend Brittany Hayden for the part. There are very few people I know who can light up a stage the way she does.”
Brittany gasps in surprise as tears pool in her eyes.
“I’ll pass your recommendation along, but the final decision rest with the director,” Stefanie informs me.
“I understand. Thank you.” I hang up the phone and turn to my friend. “I hope they aren’t dumb enough to give the part to someone else.”
“That doesn’t matter right now.” She raises her hand to get the waitress’s attention.
Once the waitress arrives at the table, Brittany hands her a credit card and asks for the check. Once we have settled the bill, we quickly hail a cab and head toward her apartment in Hell’s Kitchen.
“Now it’s time to get you to the airport. You have a man to catch.”
We both laugh as we stand from the table and head toward the front of the restaurant.
Although this trip didn’t turn out the way I thought, I have no regrets. I’ve lived my dream, but now it’s time to find my destiny.
The entire flight home, I try to imagine how my conversation with Vance will go, but none of the outcomes are what I want.
In one, he tells me to get lost because he’s tired of waiting for me to make up my mind. I honestly can’t blame him if he does say that. I’ve kept him waiting for years. I’ve spent so long putting my dreams before everything else, and not once asking him what he thought or felt. But he still waited for me to come home, just like everyone else I shut out of my life before I headed to New York.
It wasn’t until Brittany and I were talking that I realized I was doing exactly what I was afraid of. I was making choices for him. I never had a conversation with him about whether he would be willing to come with me to New York or if he would wait for me. And, as it turns out, I didn’t have to ask, because he waited anyway. He waited for me to decide if I loved him enough to come back to him. I just wish it hadn’t taken me so long to realize it.
“Attention, passengers. We are approaching the Birmingham-Shuttlesworth International Airport. Please fasten your safety belts and put your seats and tray tables in the full upright and locked position. We should be landing shortly,” the flight attendant announces.
My heart drops into my stomach in anticipation of the encounter that awaits me when I get back to Dixie Point.
“Nervous?” the older woman beside me asks, noticing my change in demeanor.
“No. Well, not exactly.” I give her a forced smile. “I’m more afraid of what’s waiting for me when I land.”
“Don’t you mean ‘who,’ sweetie?”
I stare at the woman in shock, and she reaches out and gives my hand a squeeze.
“It's written all over your face. That man would be a fool not to see how much you love him.”
“I do. Very much so,” I respond.
The landing wheels meet the ground, jolting us slightly, and the engines work to slow us down.
“If it’s meant to be, it will be.”
“I hope you’re right,” I mumble just loud enough for her to hear.
A few minutes later, the plane comes to a stop at our arrival gate, and I unbuckle my seatbelt and stand.
“Do you need any help?” I ask her.
“No, thank you, sweetie. I have to wait for my wheelchair.”
I nod as I slide past her, grab my travel bag from the overhead compartment, and exit the plane. As I come out into the main terminal area, I spot a familiar pair of eyes staring back at me.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, pulling my bag to a stop in front of Vance.
He rubs the back of his neck and shows me a boarding pass. “Coming to get you. I let you get away once. I wasn’t going to do that again.”
Tears trickle down my face as I say the first thing that comes to mind. “Can we have a do-over?”
He stares at me skeptically as he takes a step closer, framing my face with his hands. “A do over?”
“Yes. I know I messed up all those years ago, leaving without a word, but I realized something when I was in New York.”
“What’s that?”
“I went to New York looking to fulfill a dream, but once I got there, I knew there was something missing.” I wrap my arms around his neck. “You.”
I hold my breath, waiting for him to reject me like I imagined he would. But instead, he pulls me tightly into his chest, pressing a gentle kiss on the top of my head.
“It feels like I’ve been waiting my entire life for you to say that.”
“The wait is over, Vance. I love you.” I raise up slightly on my toes and kiss him softly.
We stand there in our own little bubble of happiness until I hear a familiar voice behind me.
“I see you found your heart,” the older woman from the plane says with a smile as she reaches back and grasps the hand of another gentleman.
“What are you doing here?” Vance asks, looking at the gentleman pushing her chair.
“I came to get my girl, just like you.” He tips his hat in my direction before looking back at Vance. “I’m glad you decided to take my advice.”
“Me too,” Vance responds as he grasps the man’s hand and gives it a firm shake.
Then the elderly man grasps the handles of the wheelchair and heads toward the baggage claim.
“What was that about?” I ask Vance as he leads me toward the airport exit.
“It seems like we both needed a little push in the right direction,” he responds before kissing my forehead.
Vance and I will go through our ups and downs as we try to find our footing with each other once again, but there is one thing I know for certain: sometimes a do-over is all you need.
Epilogue
Selina
When Vance and I returned to Dixie Point about a month ago, it seemed as if nothing had changed, but I was different. The idea of settling down once again in my small town didn’t feel as suffocating.
Vance insisted that we spend some time together, just the two of us, before announcing our relationship to the world, and I agreed whole heartedly. After being apart for those few days, I was starved for his love and attention. We spent an entire week holed up in his large plantation house, only leaving for food, reconnecting with our bodies and our souls.
To say I’m still apprehensive of how fast things are going with him would be an understatement. Couple that with my recent surprise, and panic isn’t a strong enough word to describe how I’m feeling.
Yep, I’m pregnant. I guess I shouldn’t really be surprised, given the amount of time Vance and I have spent enjoying each other’s bodies since that first night we spent together.
We haven’t talked about having children just yet, but Vance has made no secret how badly he wants to have a ring on my finger and my belly round with his child. However, the voice in the back of my head keeps reminding me that we spent over fifteen years apart. How can I expect things to fall into place so quickly?
Unfortunately, neither one of us has any other option now.
I’ve only had about twenty-four hours to get used to the idea of being a mother. Noticing the warning signs, Bristol encouraged me to take a test yesterday morning. Two pink lines showed up in no time, and I had no idea how to feel until the panic began to set in. Bristol did her best to keep me calm, but in typical Bristol fashion, her water broke right there in my parents’ kitchen.
After that, it was nothing but frantic phone calls to all of our friends as the two of us rushed to the hospital. Rebekah was born a few hours ago, weighing in at seven pounds twelve oun
ces.
“She’s beautiful,” I say as I look down at the precious little girl in my arms.
“I happen to agree with you, but I’m a little biased.”
I lift my head and notice the content smile on Bristol’s face. If I didn’t know for a fact that she’d spent the last twelve hours in labor, I would have no idea. Bristol looks the exact opposite of tired, with her red hair propped in a messy bun on top of her head.
“When are you going to tell him?” she asks as I place little Rebekah back in her arms and take a seat in the chair beside her bed.
“Soon,” is the only answer I can come up with. The events of yesterday are still a blur in my mind. “I know he’ll be ecstatic about having a baby, but are we ready?”
“Ready? There is no ready, Seli. Look at me.” Bristol gives me a reassuring smile. “I never wanted to be a single mother, but life had other plans. Now, I just want to make sure I’m the best mother I can be to my little girl.”
“Have you thought about telling Seth?” I probe gently at the sensitive subject.
“Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t. I made the mistake of telling him it was a one-time thing. Who would have thought that the one time I tried to do something reckless, it would turn out like this?” Bristol stares out the window, lost in thought.
I give her time to collect her thoughts before breaking the silence.
“Do you want to find him?”
“I don’t know.”
“Why don’t you contact Brady? You said they were in the same unit, right? I heard Brady’s mom talking about him coming home soon when I came in.”
Talk about a small town. Brady is the only son of the town’s midwife. And he also happens to be friends with Seth, Rebekah’s father. Through a series of events, Bristol and Seth hooked up and created this miracle, but because of stubbornness on Bristol’s part, he has no idea.
“Maybe,” Bristol says before quickly changing the subject. “You need to tell him sooner rather than later. The longer you wait, the harder it will be.”