by Lola Gabriel
“Oh, Rachel,” Bastian said. “That wouldn’t have happened. Your bear is an extension of you. If you’re a good person, then embracing your bear won’t make you a bad person. How did you keep it at bay? It must have been hard if you never let it out.”
“I learned to swallow it down, I guess,” Rachel said. She looked at Bastian and smiled. “Funnily enough, the hardest it ever fought to come out was when you and I were hooking up.”
Bastian smiled and nodded.
“It figures. While the bear is an extension of you, it’s still an animal and it responds to the basic instincts. Lust. Fear. That kind of thing. It would have sensed the bear in me too. I have been a bear for a long time and I am completely in control of myself, but when we were together, I had a hard time keeping my bear down too.”
“Really?” Rachel asked.
“Really,” Bastian agreed. “So now that you know we’re not all monsters, do you think you would ever consider joining the pack?”
Rachel shook her head.
“I don’t think so. I’m happy with my life the way it is right now, and even though I believe what you’re telling me, I have gotten by this long without feeling the need to turn and I can’t see that changing any time soon.”
“I understand that, but if you ever change your mind, the offer is there. It gets lonely being immortal if you don’t have immortal friends,” Bastian said.
“Thanks, but I’ll be fine,” Rachel said. “And don’t think for a minute Stephanie is going to have any part in this pack of yours. But if you still want to meet her…”
“More than anything,” Bastian interrupted.
“You can meet her on Saturday morning,” Rachel said.
“But it’s only Thursday,” Bastian said.
“I know,” Rachel said. “But when I get home tonight, it will almost be her bedtime. And I’m at work tomorrow. Is it really too much to ask for you to stick around for a couple of days?”
“No, it’s not that. I just really wanted to meet her as soon as possible,” Bastian said.
“Well, it’s Saturday at the earliest. And if I find out you’ve been to my house again, then I’ll leave and take Stephanie with me and you’ll never get to see her,” Rachel warned Bastian.
Bastian held his hands up in surrender.
“I swear I won’t. Saturday it is. But what do you mean come to your house again? I don’t even know where you live,” Bastian said.
“You said you’d already seen Stephanie. I figured you’d gone to the house and Lena, the nanny, let you in,” she said.
Bastian shook his head.
“No. I didn’t want to turn up at your door and scare you, so instead of trying to get your address, I waited here for you. It was just a strange coincidence that I met Stephanie. Lena, was it? She happened to sit down on the bench with me and we got chatting. Stephanie got fussy and she got her out of the stroller. And I just knew. My bear recognized her,” Bastian explained.
Rachel nodded and Bastian winced.
“What?” Rachel asked.
“I think I might have inadvertently scared your nanny. She’s bound to tell you about the weirdo she met in the park and I was that weirdo. Like I said, when I first saw Stephanie, my bear knew her. I knew she was my daughter. And I felt this overwhelming rush of love. I asked Lena if I could hold the baby.”
“Oh my God, Bastian, are you nuts? You can’t just go around asking strangers if you can hold their babies,” Rachel burst out.
“I know. I realized as soon as I said it. She made her excuses and got the hell out of there. I thought of going after her and trying to reassure her, but I figured if she thought I was chasing her through the park, it would only scare her more.”
“Well, at least I know she takes Stephanie’s safety seriously,” Rachel laughed.
“Oh, she does. At that point, she’d already given me the side eye when I told her none of the kids in the park were mine. I told her I was meeting my wife and son just so she didn’t think I was some sort of pervert,” Bastian laughed.
Rachel laughed with him and shook her head.
“You know,” Bastian said when his laughter faded away, “we haven’t seen each other in two years and yet I feel like we’ve never been apart. Is that weird?”
“Yeah,” Rachel said. She smiled. “But I was thinking the same thing.”
“I can’t believe a misunderstanding has kept us from doing this sooner,” Bastian said.
“Me neither,” Rachel said.
“Do you want to know what I thought when Brady first told me you were a bear and that you were pregnant after you’d been by the house?” Bastian said. Rachel nodded. “I thought you knew I was the alpha of the district and you’d purposely seduced me so you could have my baby.”
“Wow. Arrogant much?” Rachel laughed.
“Only a little bit,” Bastian grinned.
Rachel picked her cup up and drained the last of her cold coffee.
“I really do have to get going. Lena will be getting worried if I don’t show up soon,” Rachel said, standing up.
“So, Saturday?” Bastian asked, also standing up.
Rachel nodded. She handed Bastian her cell phone.
“Put your number in and I’ll text you the address,” she said.
“On Saturday morning?” Bastian grinned as he entered his number into Rachel’s cell phone.
She had enjoyed their time together and it was clear to her that Bastian was no monster. She took her cell phone back from Bastian and quickly typed out a text to him with her address in it. She hit send.
“See you Saturday,” she said as she left.
12
Thursday night and all day and night Friday had dragged like mad for Bastian. He had tried to concentrate on getting some work done just to pass the time, but he couldn’t concentrate on it for more than five minutes, and each little block of five minutes felt like five hours. He wasn’t sure what he was more excited about—reconnecting with Rachel, or meeting Stephanie.
He had managed to convince himself over the last two years that his feelings for Rachel had been imagined, that he’d built it up into something it wasn’t in his head, but seeing her again, it had all come rushing back to him, and he had found himself fantasizing about being with her. It wasn’t like he was putting her in danger now. She was a bear anyway, and he figured if anything, she would be safer with him than she would be going at it alone.
He knew he had to fight the feeling, though. Rachel had made it clear she wanted no part of being a member of the pack, and by extension, that meant she wouldn’t want to be around the members. He couldn’t just walk away from the pack—they were his life, his family. He also thought that if he and Rachel started anything, it could complicate things for him having a relationship with Stephanie, and more than anything, he wanted to be able to bond with his baby.
Bastian pushed aside all of his thoughts and stood up. It was finally time for him to leave the hotel he was staying in and drive over to Rachel’s place. He left the hotel and went to the parking lot and got into his rental car. He had already worked out his route and he knew it was about a fifteen-minute drive. Rachel had texted him earlier, asking him to come at around ten a.m., and it was just after half past nine now. He wasn’t willing to risk being late. It was better to be early and wait in the car until the right time. He didn’t think Rachel would be upset if he hit traffic and was five or ten minutes late because of it, but he wasn’t willing to risk her calling the whole thing off for it.
He drove across the city and slowed down as he pulled onto Rachel’s block. It seemed like a nice enough place to live. The houses were fairly small, but they all looked clean and in good repair and Bastian relaxed a little bit. He didn’t like the thought of his daughter living anywhere that felt dangerous, not when he had enough money to house them anywhere Rachel wanted to go. He made a mental note to talk to her about setting up some sort of monthly payment for Stephanie.
The voice on his
GPS told him he had arrived at his destination and he pulled up outside of the house. It was much like all of the others—white-fronted with a porch and a neat little garden. Bastian could feel the nerves swirling inside of him as he sat in the car, waiting for the minutes to pass. It was ten to ten and he decided to wait until five to ten to get out of the car and knock on Rachel’s front door.
A man walked toward the car, walking a small white dog. He kept glancing at Bastian and Bastian realized he was probably trying to work out who he was and why he was sitting in the street here. He leaned over and began to dig around in the glove compartment as though he was looking for something. The man walked past without stopping and Bastian looked at him in the rearview mirror. He glanced back once. Bastian told himself to relax. He wasn’t doing anything wrong, and the man was probably more curious than suspicious. And besides, if he did call the police or anything, surely Rachel would tell them she knew him and he had her permission to come to the house.
At exactly five to ten, Bastian took the keys out of the ignition and got out of the car. He locked it and walked up to the little white wooden gate. He pushed it open and walked up Rachel’s path. His stomach was rolling with nerves and excitement. This was it. He was finally going to meet his daughter. He knocked on Rachel’s door and waited, suddenly nervous that she wouldn’t be here, that she had left town and kept in touch with him to keep him from getting suspicious. Her car wasn’t in the driveway and that made Bastian even more nervous. He told himself to calm down; it was probably in the garage that was attached to the house.
The door opened and Bastian relaxed when Rachel smiled out at him.
“Hi,” she said.
“Hi,” Bastian replied.
For a moment, that was all they said. Rachel stood on the doorstep, peering out at Bastian, and he couldn’t help but notice how good she looked in her short, white sundress, her legs and feet bare. He imagined himself running his hand over her smooth legs, pushing her dress up around her hips and making love to her. He shook his head, shaking away the thought as quickly as it had come. He wasn’t here for Rachel. He was here for Stephanie.
“I’m sorry,” Rachel said after a moment, stepping back from the doorway. “Come in.”
Bastian stepped inside, realizing that Rachel was as nervous as he was. He thought it was probably for a different reason, though. Or was she also undressing him with her eyes? His bear stirred as he moved past her, smelling the lust coming off her as he almost touched her. It certainly seemed possible that the way he felt about Rachel wasn’t as one-sided as he had first assumed it was.
“Go on through to the living room,” Rachel said, closing the front door and pointing to a white door leading off the hallway they were standing in.
Bastian smiled and headed through the door. He found himself in a light and airy room that was furnished with two cream sofas and a large TV. A coffee table sat between the sofas and the TV and beside it, Stephanie sat gurgling away in a bouncy chair. Bastian felt the surge of protective love he had felt in the park engulf him again at the sight of the baby.
Rachel followed him into the room and nodded at one of the couches. Bastian sat down and Rachel went to the bouncy chair and scooped Stephanie up. She smiled at her and walked toward Bastian.
“Someone is here to see you,” Rachel said to the baby. “Say hi.”
Stephanie didn’t say anything, but she flashed Bastian a gummy grin that made his heart melt.
“Hi, Stephanie,” Bastian said, his voice barely above a whisper as emotion clogged his throat. “You’re beautiful.” He looked up at Rachel. “May I?”
Rachel nodded and Bastian held up his arms. Rachel bent slightly and deposited Stephanie onto his lap. She sat there, content in his arms. Rachel took a step back.
“Do you want some tea or coffee or anything?” she asked.
Bastian shook his head, transfixed by Stephanie as she pulled on one of the buttons on his shirt and babbled away happily. Rachel smiled and sat down on the other couch.
“She likes you,” Rachel said.
Bastian couldn’t decide from Rachel’s tone whether she was happy about that or not, but he was happy about it and he glanced up at Rachel and smiled.
“The feeling is mutual,” he said.
He turned his focus back to Stephanie. He bounced his leg gently, bouncing Stephanie up and down, and she giggled. She reached up with her chubby little fingers and pulled on Bastian’s chin. He laughed.
“What does she like to do?” Bastian asked.
It hurt him not to automatically know what his daughter liked, but he reasoned it wasn’t his fault—it wasn’t like he had known where to find her and purposely shunned her—and he would get to know all of this stuff.
“Her favorite thing right now is her swing in the back garden. We can go out there if you want to,” Rachel said.
Bastian nodded eagerly. He stood up holding Stephanie and she instantly wriggled to get down. His heart sank, but Rachel smiled at him.
“Don’t be offended. Since she found her feet, she likes to be little miss independent and walk everywhere,” she said.
Bastian nodded and set Stephanie down on her feet. She wobbled a little, found her balance, and toddled off ahead of him, glancing back to make sure he was following her. Bastian smiled when he watched Stephanie’s clumsy walk. The three of them moved through the kitchen and Rachel opened the back door. Stephanie ran straight to the swing Rachel had mentioned and Bastian followed her. Rachel stayed on the step, watching them and smiling. Stephanie reached her arms up to Bastian and while he knew it was only because she wanted him to lift her into the swing, his heart melted again all the same. He scooped her up and put her into the swing. He stood in front of her and pushed the swing gently, whooping and laughing with her as she swung.
“I’m going to make Stephanie some juice,” Rachel called from the doorway. “Can you watch her for a minute, please?”
“Of course,” Bastian smiled. “It would be my pleasure.”
He kept pushing the swing and smiling down at Stephanie.
“I’m your daddy,” he said to her. “And I’m not going to ever let anyone or anything hurt you. I hope you sense that, but even if you don’t, you’ll see it for yourself as you grow up.”
Bastian didn’t really know what would happen in the future or how any of this would work, but he knew that whatever happened, he would keep that promise he had made to Stephanie.
Rachel came back outside and handed a pink sippy cup to Stephanie. She took it and drank some of the juice. Rachel stayed beside Bastian, almost close enough to him for their arms to be touching. As they stood, both smiling down at Stephanie, Bastian realized something.
The feelings of love and protection he felt weren’t just for Stephanie. They extended to Rachel too. And he vowed to himself in that moment that he would find a way to make this work. He was finally willing to accept what he had spent two years telling himself couldn’t be true—Rachel was meant to be his mate. If she didn’t want anything to do with the pack, then he would leave the pack. It would kill him to walk away from them, but if it meant he got to have a family of his own, then he would do it.
He looked at Rachel and caught her looking at him. She blushed when he caught her eye, but when he smiled at her, she smiled back at him. He reached out for her hand, knowing she might freak out, but needing to touch her, needing to find a way to let her know that she was meant to be his. He took her hand in his and she made no effort to squirm her hand away from his and she didn’t tell him to get off her as he had feared she would. Instead, she gently squeezed his hand and then left her hand in his.
Bastian felt tingles spreading through his hand from where they were touching and up his arm, and he thought Rachel felt it too, judging by the way her cheeks turned pink.
He knew instantly he would protect Rachel with his life every bit as much as he would protect Stephanie with it, and he made a decision in that moment. When he left Rachel’s place t
oday, he was going to drive out to Houston and hunt down Lewis and make him pay for what he had done to Rachel.
While part of Bastian felt like he should be grateful to Lewis for turning Rachel into a bear and making all of this possible, he knew she had suffered greatly over the last ten years, hating herself, fearing her own kind. And that was all because of Lewis. He would make him pay for that, and he would make sure Lewis could never hurt anyone else again.
While Bastian had always made it clear to the pack that they were never to buy a mate from a Matchmaker, he had always accepted that Matchmakers were a part of his world and that it was really none of his business as long as they didn’t interfere with his pack. Now he saw that he had been wrong about that. Matchmakers like Lewis ruined lives, and he was no longer willing to stand back and let that happen in his district. It was time to take control. And if he ended up leaving the pack to be with Rachel, then that would be his parting gift to them—a district free from monsters.
“Are you okay?” Rachel asked, frowning at him. “You seem like you’re a million miles away.”
“I was just thinking about something,” Bastian said. “Something I need to do. Something I should have done years ago.”
“What?” Rachel asked.
“I’ll tell you later,” Bastian said as Stephanie began to fuss in the swing. “Because right now, I think someone needs some fun.”
He lifted Stephanie from the swing and lifted her high in the air. He swooped her down and then back up again until she was laughing once more.
“We should go back inside,” Rachel said after a couple of minutes. “Stephanie is due for her nap soon and there’s a cartoon on around now that I usually let her watch to get her settled.”
“Okay,” Bastian agreed. “Lead the way.”
Rachel turned and walked toward the house. Bastian tried not to look, but he couldn’t help watching Rachel’s hips sway as she walked and the way the dress clung to her hips and her ass. How he longed to reach out and put his hand on one of those hips, to pull her back against his chest, to kiss her neck.