by Lola Gabriel
Bastian’s attention was pulled away from Rachel’s hips as Stephanie gurgled beside his ear and tugged on it, making him laugh again.
13
Rachel sat on one couch. Bastian sat on the other with Stephanie on his lap as she watched her cartoon. At first, Stephanie had still been hyped up from her time outside, but as Rachel watched, Bastian had gently sung to her until she was calmed down and sitting contentedly on his lap, watching the cartoon.
At that moment, Rachel had known she couldn’t deny her feelings any longer. She wanted Bastian. More than she had ever wanted anyone in her life. And it was about much more than just sex. Watching how gentle and loving he was with Stephanie, Rachel knew he was no monster, and she felt an intense rush of love for him fill her, warming her heart. She wanted this. For them to be a family.
But she knew it couldn’t happen. As much as she had accepted she had been wrong about all bears being monsters, she still didn’t want to join Bastian’s pack. And she certainly didn’t want that life for Stephanie. She wanted her to have a normal childhood, one where she went to school and made friends and did things normal kids did. She wouldn’t stop aging until she was twenty-nine and until then, she could live a normal life. Rachel knew she had to put that before her own feelings.
She also knew how hard it would be, because she couldn’t deprive Stephanie and Bastian of each other. So, assuming he wanted to be a part of Stephanie’s life, which she was almost certain he did, she would have to see him regularly, and it would just about break her to see him all of the time and not be able to kiss him, to hold him, to make love to him.
It’s called being a mother, she told herself. You make sacrifices like this for your kids.
Rachel looked at Bastian and Stephanie, again feeling the rush of love. She told herself it was only for Stephanie, but it was a lie and she knew it. She stood up and moved toward Bastian when she saw Stephanie had fallen asleep. Normally, she would let her sleep on the couch at nap time, but she knew she needed to have a conversation with Bastian about how this would work going forward, and she decided to take Stephanie upstairs to her crib.
“She’s asleep. I’ll take her up to bed,” Rachel whispered when Bastian glanced up at her.
He nodded and she took Stephanie from him, careful not to wake her. She took her upstairs and laid her in her crib, putting a thin blanket over her. She smiled down at her and gently stroked her cheek, and then she switched on the baby monitor and headed back downstairs. She turned on the monitor in the living room and then turned to Bastian.
“Are you sure you don’t want anything to drink? Or I can make some sandwiches or something if you’re hungry,” she suggested.
“I’m fine,” Bastian smiled. “Sit down and relax while you can.”
Rachel sat down on the other end of the couch Bastian was sitting on.
“So,” she said. “What happens now?”
“I guess that’s up to you,” Bastian said. “I want to be a part of Stephanie’s life, Rachel. Please don’t try to stop that from happening.”
“I won’t,” Rachel said. “Seeing you two together… I don’t know. It felt right, I guess. You can be a part of her life, but no talk about bears or packs or any of that stuff. Not until she’s old enough to understand it all.”
“Okay,” Bastian said. “If that’s what you want. Obviously, we’ll set up a trust fund for Stephanie and I’ll pay you a monthly allowance for her too.”
“I don’t want your money,” Rachel said instantly.
“Good,” Bastian smiled. “Because it’s not for you. It’s for Stephanie.”
Rachel smiled and shook her head but Bastian went on.
“Look, Rachel, I don’t think you’re some sort of charity case or anything like that, if that’s what you’re worried about. You have a nice house and it’s obvious Stephanie is well looked after. But I’m her father and it’s my duty to help provide for her.”
“Okay, fine,” Rachel agreed. “But before we go any further, I need you to promise me something. Promise me you’re not going to see Stephanie a few times and have her get attached to you and then get bored of her and never show up again.”
“I promise you that won’t happen,” Bastian said. He reached across the couch and took one of Rachel’s hands in both of his. She felt her senses begin to stir at his touch, her clit starting to pulse. “I want to be as active in Stephanie’s life as you’ll allow me to be. And not just in Stephanie’s life. In yours too.”
“Bastian, don’t,” Rachel said. “This isn’t about us. It’s about Stephanie.”
Even as she said the words, she was moving closer to Bastian, closing the gap between them, and she knew if he kissed her now, she wouldn’t even attempt to stop this from happening.
“I know,” Bastian said, although his tone told Rachel he didn’t really believe that for a second. “Listen, Rachel, there’s something I have to do. Something I should have done a long time ago. Once that’s done, then we can maybe talk about us.”
“There is no us, Bastian,” Rachel sighed. “We’re from two different worlds.”
Bastian didn’t correct her, but he didn’t agree with her either. Instead, he just smiled.
“What is it that you need to do?” Rachel asked. “You made it sound rather ominous.”
“I guess it is. But it’s something I need to do. I hope you understand why,” Bastian said. He stood up. “I have to go to Houston and take care of Lewis. What he did to you, Rachel… what he’s done to hundreds of other women—it’s not right. And it ends now.”
“Wait,” Rachel said, getting up and taking Bastian’s hand again.
“You don’t think I should do it?” Bastian asked, narrowing his eyes at Rachel.
“I think you have to do what you have to do. But not yet, okay? Not now. Not today. Just spend these next few hours getting to know Stephanie.”
Bastian nodded and allowed Rachel to pull him back onto the couch. Rachel relaxed a little when Bastian agreed not to go yet, and that was when she knew that she couldn’t bear to watch him walk away from her again. Before she could stop herself, she moved closer to Bastian and rubbed her lips gently over his.
“Rachel…?” Bastian said, his breath tickling her lips.
She ignored him. This wasn’t a time for words, it was a time for action, and she was going to let her body do the talking for her. She knew they had no future together, but they had the next hour or so while Stephanie slept and she intended to make it the best hour of her life.
She pressed her lips tighter against his and this time, he didn’t try to ask her any questions. He pushed his tongue into her mouth, moaning as it found hers. He reached out and pushed his hands into her hair as she shifted her position and straddled him on the couch. She didn’t waste any time. She began to unbutton Bastian’s shirt. Once it was open, she pushed it down his arms and over his hands. She ran her hands over his taut chest, relishing the feel of his muscles.
Her pussy was soaking wet and she was desperate to feel Bastian inside of her, but she wanted to make this last. If it was the last time they could be together, she wanted to enjoy every second of it. She kept kissing Bastian while she moved her hands lower, unbuttoning his jeans. He moved his hands out of her hair, running them down her back and sides. He cupped her ass and then rested his hands on her hips as she unzipped his fly.
She pulled her lips from Bastian’s and smiled down at him. Stepping back off the couch, she stood up, pushed his knees apart, and knelt down between them. She hooked her fingers into the waistband of Bastian’s jeans and tugged on them. He took the hint, lifting his ass from the couch long enough for Rachel to pull his jeans and boxer shorts down to his knees. He kicked his shoes off as he sat back down.
Rachel pulled his jeans and boxer shorts the rest of the way off and took a second to peel off each of his socks. She looked at his hard cock and smiled as shivers of desire flooded through her. She moved closer to Bastian, pressing herself against the couch.
She took his cock in her fist, holding it by the base, and then she kissed the tip of it. Bastian moaned and she poked her tongue out from between her lips, flicking it over the tip of his cock, tasting his saltiness.
She parted her lips slightly, still running her tongue over the tip of Bastian’s erection. Putting her lips over it, she sucked the tip into her mouth. She opened her mouth, tucking her lips over her teeth, and then she moved her head down, running her lips over Bastian’s length. She began to bob her head, sucking and moving her lips, licking him with the tip of her tongue.
Bastian moaned again, a sound so full of longing and desire that Rachel felt her core tighten. She kept sucking Bastian, loving the taste of him, the feel of him filling her mouth, her throat.
She sucked him in deeper, wanting to have every inch of him in her mouth. His length hit her gag reflex and she swallowed hard, breathing through her nose until the feeling of choking passed. She kept working him, sucking and licking him until his moans were almost constant.
She felt his hands move over her head, his fists tightening and grabbing two handfuls of her hair. He pulled gently, making her scalp sting. The stinging feeling spurred her on, telling her how turned on Bastian was. She sucked and sucked, bringing him right to the edge. His ragged breathing told her he was about to come and she finally let his cock slip from her mouth.
She looked at it, shiny and delicious, and then she wiped her lips with the back of her hand. She looked up at Bastian. His face was contorted with frustration that she had left him hanging. She smiled and stood up. He reached for her and she danced away, standing just far enough away that he couldn’t reach her.
She bent at the waist, grabbing the hem of her dress. She pulled it over her head and dropped it on the ground. She reached behind herself, unhooking her bra, watching Bastian as his eyes roamed over her body. She let her bra straps fall down her arms and her bra fall to the floor. Finally, she pushed her panties down and stepped out of them, and then she beckoned to Bastian.
He jumped to his feet and pulled her into his arms with a lustful growl. His mouth found hers and she kissed him ferociously. As his tongue pushed between her lips, his fingers pushed between her other lips, finding her throbbing clit and making her gasp as pleasure flooded through her in waves of electrical pulses.
She pressed her body against his, moving her hips and grinding her clit against his fingers. Her hands roamed over his back and his ass, caressing and grabbing. Bastian’s fingers continued to work their magic as he pulled his mouth from hers, kissing down her neck, making her skin shrivel into goosebumps as his lips brushed over it.
He kissed down her chest and sucked one of her breasts into his mouth. He ran his tongue in circles around her nipple and the sensitive skin puckered and hardened under his tongue. Rachel moaned as the two sensations coming together overwhelmed her senses, sending her hurtling into a spiral of ecstasy. Bastian upped the pace of his fingers on her clit and as Rachel felt her climax exploding through her, he bit down on her nipple.
She threw her head back, her mouth open, trying and failing to suck in air as her whole body came to life, tingling deliciously as pain and pleasure collided within her center. Her eyes rolled back in her head and she felt her knees buckling, but Bastian wrapped his arm around her waist, holding her against him, stopping her from falling.
She blinked and regained her senses. She lifted her head as Bastian released her breast from his mouth and pressed it over hers once more. She gasped, breathing him in as his fingers worked her, drawing her orgasm out to lengths she had never known. She pulled her mouth from his, pressing her face into his neck as she whimpered in pleasure.
He finally took his fingers from her as fireworks exploded in her stomach and her pussy went wild, clenching and contracting. She could feel her juices running from her, coating her thighs. She sucked in a juddering breath as her orgasm started to recede.
Bastian gave Rachel no time to recover. He cupped her ass cheeks, lifting her. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and her legs around his waist, feeling as though she was flying as he carried her across the room. He pressed her against the wall, slamming his cock inside of her and making her gasp once more as he filled her. She clung to him as he pounded into her, filling her up more and more with each thrust. She dug her nails into his shoulders as desire spiraled through her. Her bear began to stir, but she was so focused on the pleasure coasting through her body that she hardly noticed it. She swallowed it down more as an impulse reaction than as a result of any conscious thought.
Bastian slammed into her again and again, and the friction of his thrusts rubbed over her swollen and tender clit, sending her wild as another orgasm tore through her body. She felt free, wild, and she gave herself over to Bastian completely as she went over the edge, trusting him to bring her back.
For a moment, her vision went black, red spots dancing in front of her eyes. She blinked and Bastian’s face came back into focus, his eyes holding her gaze. As she looked deep into his eyes, feeling the pleasure exploding through her body, she knew she could never let him go again.
She pushed the thought away, not wanting to think right now, only wanting to feel. Her pussy tightened around Bastian and he moaned, an animalistic sound that sent another pulse of pleasure bouncing through Rachel. She felt his cock twitch inside of her, his heat flooding her as he came with her; their moans became one.
Finally, Rachel’s orgasm began to fade and she could breathe again. She panted for air, clinging to Bastian, her face against his shoulder. He slipped out of her and carried her back to the couch, sitting down and holding her in his lap.
She kept her head on his shoulder, breathing in the musky, earthy scent of him. He kissed the top of her head, holding her to him. She could feel his chest rising and falling as he panted, his heart racing in his chest. She smiled to herself and closed her eyes, floating on a wave of sated contentment. She felt like she had come home.
Bastian kissed her head again and snuggled her tightly against him.
When her eyes started to slip closed, she didn’t fight it. Instead, she welcomed it, loving the feeling of drifting off into sleep in Bastian’s arms.
Rachel awoke to the sound of Bastian’s quiet snores. She was still on his lap, her head on his chest, his arms loosely wrapped around her. She lifted her head and looked at him. His head was back against the couch, his mouth open, his face relaxed. Rachel smiled to herself, refusing to acknowledge the sadness deep within her at the thought of them not being able to be together after this. It would never work. She could never embrace the bear side of her the way Bastian could, and she could never join a bear pack. And she couldn’t ask Bastian to leave his pack behind for her, even if she thought he would be willing to do it.
Tears filled her eyes and she blinked them away quickly. If Bastian woke up now, he would want to know why she was crying, and she didn’t want to have this conversation with him. They both knew where they stood with this and talking about it would only make it more painful. Rachel just wanted to cherish this moment for as long as she could before Stephanie woke up.
Rachel kissed along Bastian’s neck, moving her mouth up it until she reached his lips. She ran her lips lightly over his and his eyes fluttered open. He smiled at her, his face still cloudy with sleep. He kissed her and then ran a hand over his face.
“Shit. Sorry. I must have fallen asleep,” he said.
“Well, it was partly my fault for wearing you out,” Rachel laughed.
Bastian gave a soft, breathy laugh and nodded his head.
“You got that right. How long have I been asleep?”
“Not long,” Rachel said.
She leaned in and kissed Bastian again. She felt his cock harden beneath her and she moved herself, rubbing her slick pussy over his cock until he moaned. She straddled him again, pushing her tongue into his mouth and her hands into his hair. She needed to feel him inside of her again. She didn’t think she could ever not need him inside of her.
She reached for his cock and pressed it against her opening. She lowered herself onto it, taking him all of the way in, impaling herself on his hardness. Bastian’s eyes flew open as she clenched herself around him. He smiled at her and put his hands on her hips, lifting her up and down on him, faster and harder. Her center responded, sending pleasure through Rachel’s body as she worked Bastian.
She moved herself faster as she felt her climax coming on. Bastian took his hands from her hips, letting her set her own pace. He moved them up to her breasts, cupping them. Her hard nipples rubbed against his palms as she moved and she felt her climax explode through her. She felt the scream bubbling up inside of her as she was consumed by pleasure. She pressed her hand over her mouth, biting down on the fleshy pad beneath her thumb and muffling her scream, conscious of Stephanie upstairs asleep.
Her pussy clenched as her orgasm hit its peak, bringing more waves of pleasure, making Rachel’s whole body tingle. She started to coast down, enjoying the warm, sated feeling as Bastian wrapped his arms around her and held her to him as his own climax hit him.
She felt him explode inside of her and then he slipped out of her as she found his lips with hers. They kissed, a loving, tender kiss that set Rachel’s soul on fire in a different way. It only reminded her they could never be together in the way she would have liked them to be, as a family, and she pushed herself up from Bastian. She forced herself to smile at him as she picked her panties up and stepped into them.
“Stephanie will be awake soon,” she said to explain her sudden need to get dressed.
Bastian seemed to accept her explanation and as she pulled her bra back on, he got up and began to get dressed too. When they were both fully clothed again, Rachel sat down on the couch. Already she wanted Bastian again, but she told herself she had to control herself around him. If he was going to be in Stephanie’s life, that meant she had to learn to be around him and not let her desire overwhelm her senses. She didn’t know how many more times she could do this and still let Bastian go afterwards, but she suspected it wouldn’t be many.