The Blake Soul

by I C Camilleri

  Maria laughed, “That was a very easy battle for you to win because Rob was never an option for me from that point on. You were not the only one who felt that click, I felt it too.”

  “Now do you understand why I had to put a camera in your apartment? Some of the dreams were scaring me at the time. I never had any intentions to use it for anything but to know that you were safe. I did not want to invade your privacy.”

  “So everything is plain sailing now, you can just change anything you don’t like.”

  Josh laughed dryly. “It’s not that simple. I don’t see everything, just tiny snippets, and I haven’t managed to change things every time. I did meddle with destiny in the park and I think I did something to help you in Murren but other than that I have had little success. For instance, I had always seen you getting married heavily pregnant. I wanted to change that. I didn’t sleep with you for a whole year and that was very difficult, believe me, especially with you being so keen, and I proposed countless of times but you never took the hint. In the end being away from you was tearing me apart and I had to embrace destiny. You were so angry with me for planning the whole contraceptive affair that I genuinely thought that I had blown away all my chances of being with you just because I did what my dreams were telling me to do, what your father was telling me to do. But you did eventually forgive me and we did get married. And that was one dream I never managed to tweak.”

  “Did you see the whole Freddie thing beforehand?” she asked slowly.

  “Yes, the terrifying dreams returned with a bang that day you kicked me out for spying on you. I had my suspicions that it could be Freddie....or Rob because, as you might have noticed, they are very similar physically and the image of the hooded man I had seen reminded me too much of them. But you would never have believed me...and I didn’t believe it myself either. I never thought that Freddie would have it in him to do the things I saw and I knew that Rob was tucked away somewhere in England, you had told me that, so I genuinely thought that it was a crazy fan who happened to look like them. So I hired Marco and I tried everything in my power to prevent the dreams from turning into reality. But I couldn’t block the kidnapping however hard I tried.”

  “Gosh, did you really see Freddie...” she clasped her mouth in horror.

  “Yes I did, I saw everything, down to the last detail, the brutal cutting of skin and all, and the worst thing is that I could not prevent it.”

  She clung to him, “That is absolutely horrible. Do you think Ben will have to go through seeing the future with all its scary bits?”

  “Unfortunately yes. You did hear him say that he saw you getting tortured. I don’t know what else he saw. I have to sit down with him and have a good chat. I should have talked to him about it beforehand, I should have known, but I had other things on my mind at the time. It must have really scared him. Can you let me handle Ben? You might not always understand what he is going through. You do realise that this is a very delicate matter; I don’t want Ben to think that he is any different from anyone else, he will have more than enough to cope with as it is.”

  “I understand, I’ll leave Ben in your hands. OK so that’s the past, but what about the future? Is Freddie still a threat?”

  He suddenly lost all his confidence. He gently pushed her away and turned round to continue staring at the sea.

  “I want to know and I want to be prepared. Please, I don’t want any more secrets between us,” she insisted.

  “Ignorance is bliss, Maria. It would be kinder on you if I were to let you live your life in darkness. Otherwise you will be under the constant menacing shadow of what might happen. I have learnt to live with that fear but it’s all new to you.”

  “I have a right to know.”

  Josh leaned his head against the window and sighed. There was no going back now, he had to tell her. “Freddie will have no reason to haunt your life if we are not together. He will know that I am in the depths of hell and he will be satisfied. At this point I can see us living two distinct lives. You will enjoy longevity and... And Rob will make you very happy. The kids will continue to live with you and your new husband. But we can never meet, not even in secret because Freddie will somehow get to know. Maria, we will eventually have to say our final goodbyes, perhaps in a year or so.” He turned round, facing her, studying her tiny hidden reactions.

  She gave him an incredulous look, “You’re lying, I know that Rob will never make me happy. Josh, listen to me, breaking up is not an option. Don’t even go there. I would rather have a short life with you than a long miserable life without you. Go on, what happens if we stay together?”

  “This is not a decision to take in seconds. Perhaps I don’t want to take that risk with your life. I have already thought about leaving once you are all settled back in England but I don’t want you or the kids to hate me. You must eventually explain everything to them and tell them why I had to leave.” He wiped a stray tear. “Perhaps they would visit my deathbed if you were to explain. I don’t want to die alone.”

  She burst out crying hysterically as she pummelled his chest, “You can’t do that to me or the children. Is this what you and Ben were discussing earlier? I will not allow you to leave. Leaving is never the right option, that is what my dad said. You can change whatever you think will happen next. You already did that twice. Please promise me Josh... You...you have to listen to me and do what I say. I’ll never ever forgive you if you leave.” She had lost all reason, she was mentally deranged at the very thought of breaking up. Her desperate sobs were demolishing all his resolves. Ben had foreseen this. Josh could never go against her wishes and she was always bullying him into doing whatever she thought was right. He will have to stay and sort out the mess later like he always did.

  “Don’t cry. I hate it when you cry. Hey Maria stop,” he said as he cupped her face in his hands and tried to calm her hysterics, “All right I’ll stay....but if I do.....Freddie will try to break us apart again. Please stop crying.” He held her shaking body close to him and he buried his face in her hair. Her soft wild curls caressed his two-day stubble and that delicately teasing sensation sucked him into that other dimension....

  ....He was burying his face in her soft curls as he hugged her mangled body. His heartrending sobs echoed around the treacherous cliffs. The sheer drop had claimed her life. It was the price he had to pay for defying destiny...but the picture started to melt away...

  Maria was no longer limp and lifeless. She was running close behind him as they raced down the path towards the white immaculate house perched on top of the steep cliff. They barged through the open front door and ran down the maze of white corridors, following the sound of the boy’s screams of utter pain.

  “Daddy, help me, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy please...”

  Josh banged on the solid wooden door. “Ben, daddy’s here. Freddie, open the damned door. He is just a boy. Please Freddie, let him go.” He kicked furiously on the door but it took a full ten minutes for the sturdy lock to finally give way, and by that time the desperate screams had withered down to a mute eerie silence.

  Freddie lay motionless in a pool of blood. A carving knife pierced his heart. His deep blue eyes stared vacantly at the whitewashed ceiling and a smile smeared his frozen lips. He had gone to hell satisfied that he had managed to fulfil his one aim before driving the knife he had used on the boy through his own heart. Freddie never wanted to kill his brother, he wanted him to live and know that he had outlived his son. Josh would now forever live in despair and misery.

  Josh skipped over the corpse and ran towards the bloody mess at the far side of the spacious room. Ben was nailed to the floorboards, the skin over his face and chest had been flayed away exposing the raw bleeding muscles beneath. The boy opened his eyes, their eerie white glaze contrasting heavily with the crimson red. He whimpered and then exhaled his last breath.

  Maria fell on her knees, screaming frantically. “Why did you choose this for our son? Why did you disrupt the exchange? Why d
id you hold me back? I hate you Josh. I’ll always hate you for this.”

  But her husband took her in his arms, trying to restrain her mad frenzy. “Forgive me Maria. I thought that I would make it on time. I didn’t want to choose between you two. I wanted you both with me. Oh God, oh God...oh God...please forgive me,” he screamed up to the heavens...

  Maria was wiping his streaming tears, her eyes wild with fear. “Josh, what have you seen? Please tell me the truth.”

  He moved away from her and sat down heavily on a wooden box. He wiped his wet cheeks with his sleeve and cleared the lump in his throat. “If we stay together Freddie will return to seek his revenge and this time he will take Ben hostage and then he will ask for an exchange...he will give Ben back to me only if you willingly go to him.”

  Josh stopped as he remembered the dream featuring the exchange on the private airport runway. He had dreamt about it from the very start but had never seen the alternate parallel path where the exchange was abandoned thereby leading to Ben’s inevitable death. And that was because Maria would willingly give up her life for her son and the natural course of events would sway towards the swap. Only Josh could swing it the other way by stripping off her free will and physically blocking her way. But did he really want to do that to his son?

  Leaving would obliterate both dreams. He will not have to choose between his wife and son. Leaving was the safest option but he could never do it unless she wanted it too. He needed her blessing. He looked deep into her eyes and pleaded, “Maria, if we insist on staying together...then it’s either your life or Ben’s. I cannot see you both surviving simultaneously. Please don’t make me choose between you two. Surely you still do not want to go through with this madness just to spend a few more years with me?”

  “Yes, I do. Josh, understand this...I will never give you my blessing to leave.”

  The Lull before the Storm

  The white room was encroaching on her, suffocating her, infiltrating her very existence. It had been her prison, her personal hell for the past ten years. She wanted to let go and drift away but that tiny hope that she might one day see her loved ones again gave her the strength to breathe. She looked at the tattered photo of the family she once had, the husband she still loved. That photo was her only reminder of that distant happy past and tears rolled down her cheeks as she lovingly ran a finger across it, the raw pain still savagely gnawing her insides after all those years.

  She heard the key turning the lock and she quickly hid her most treasured possession under the mattress before sitting on the edge of her white bed. Freddie and his nine-year-old son entered the room. The blue-eyed boy bounded onto his mother’s lap and kissed her. She fiercely hugged him and caressed his heavy, straight, fair hair which was as gorgeous and flowing as his own father’s. But the active boy quickly got tired of her restraining arms. He was bursting with energy and he impatiently wriggled out of her lap.

  “Daddy, I’ve said hello to mummy, now I want to play outside. I hate being locked in this room.”

  “You can go Alfredo, but stay away from the cliffs. Come back in an hour and we’ll have dinner with mummy.”

  And the mischievous little devil bolted straight out of the room. Freddie smiled and sauntered towards the white bed. He took Maria’s hand and she obediently stood up. He bent down and kissed her as he played with her soft curls tumbling down her back. Her eyes were broken with sorrow but she stretched up on her toes and passionately returned his kiss, curving her body around his... Then the dream fragmented and changed...

  ...She was clinging onto a ledge of a cliff. Josh was close but not close enough. He knew that the fragile ledge would not support their combined weight. He begged her to move before everything crumbled, “I love you Maria, you have to take a deep breath and calm down. Try to move to your right. Do it for me please,” he pleaded.

  But she did not have the strength or the will to move.

  The ghostlike tall dark-haired man was standing at the very edge of the cliff, his long dark coat billowing out in the wind. He was looking at Josh, trusting him, expecting him to do the impossible...again.

  But the cliff face began to crumble and her screams filled that dimension...

  For the past two years Josh had been mentally preparing himself for the return of the dreams. But no amount of preparation could ever abolish that familiar sick feeling. He felt disoriented. His emotions had been left behind on that haunting cliffside. He frantically looked around the hotel room and focussed hard on his sleeping wife beside him until he finally transferred himself back to reality.

  The return of the dreams could only mean that Freddie had made a definite decision to strike. How much should he tell her?

  He glanced at his watch and saw that it was still four in the morning. It would be pointless to disturb her at this hour or even on the last day of their vacation. They had just spent a perfect one-month family holiday touring Europe; their last stop being Disneyland Paris. And Josh wanted to keep the holiday just like that, perfect, with nothing marring it. He will keep this secret for one more day. After all, this might be the last holiday they would ever have all together. They would need these happy memories during the bitter times that were about to follow. His heart twisted in agony. They had once more reached the bottom of the revolving wheel of life and he could literally feel the weight crushing him down. He needed to think. He stealthily slipped out of bed and went out on the balcony.

  It was a crisp July morning and everything out there was calm and serene, contrasting sharply with the hammering of his heart and the turmoil inside his head. Two years had passed since their ordeal and Josh had never managed to persuade Maria to break up. And so her other secure and long future with Rob had just disintegrated into thin air. Instead, they had all moved to the UK in their perfect fairytale country cottage. He had bought that cottage a lifetime ago and he had bought it for them to enjoy forever...that elusive word forever.....when will they ever have their forever or were they destined to eternally live this life, this heartbreaking life?

  Maria had tried to get to terms with her knowledge of her future. She had firmly insisted on one point; if she were given a choice to save her life or Ben’s, she would save her son a thousand times over even if it meant that she would live in endless torture for the rest of her life. So it seemed as though that path was already paved and Ben’s inhumane torture would never come to pass unless Josh chose to ignore her wishes and physically hinder the exchange. She gradually learnt to store her troubles at the back of her mind so that she was able to spend a very happy two-year period with her family.

  Josh, on the other hand, had tried to glean all the information out of those early dreams. This would be vital if he were to make a difference to the outcome. Marco had shown him thousands of photos of islands but it was only in the last four months that Josh managed to identify the place. It was one of the tiny privately-owned islands in the tropics. Discreet investigations revealed that the place was deserted and, together with Marco, he had managed to secretly visit the cliffs. Josh never reported this to the police. For a start they would not be willing to man the island for an indefinite period of time, and even if they did, Josh did not want Freddie to spot them and change venue in the final moments because finding him again might take a further two years. At least, for the time being, he had the powerful weapons of foresight and surprise on his side and he wanted to keep it that way. He did not tell Maria anything about his ongoing investigations because he did not want to shatter her happiness. He was pleased to see her getting on with her life with her characteristic happy outlook.

  Ben was doing remarkably well at school and, much to the twins’ annoyance, he was moved up three classes. He constantly amazed all who taught him and he had no inclination to downplay his bright mind as his father had done when he was his age. He was confident and happy. Loving and caring parents had made all the difference and Ben had none of the insecurities that Josh had had as a child. Maria also accepted the un
palatable fact that her son was able to peep into the future. She managed to hide her fear and shock, and posed careful nonchalant questions about his conversations with her father. Apparently Ben still occasionally chatted with his granddad but it was less frequent now.

  Josh thought about that day’s dream. Two parallel paths would emerge after the swap. In the first scenario Josh would do nothing and Maria would apparently continue to live on the island as Freddie’s prisoner and she would eventually have his child. He thought about the nine-year-old son that his wife and Freddie might share. Would she love him as much as their own children? He remembered the way she had hugged her son...yes, she would love the boy. He remembered her agonised face as she looked at the family photo and he knew that she would never love Freddie the way she loved him, but the way she had kissed and wrapped herself around his body meant that she would eventually lust for him. Josh knew that no female was ever able to resist Freddie’s powerful sexual magnetism.

  So choosing that path meant that Josh would never see her again, but he would know that she was alive...perhaps unhappy, but definitely carnally satisfied and alive.

  In the other parallel path he would try to get her out of the island but the consequences were harsh unless he changed something. A rescue mission was nothing but a big gamble on her life. The options were grim. What would anyone do? Sentence his wife to a life of misery but at least she had a life, or sentence her to possible death? Maria had already chosen her path, she opted for the swap; it was now his turn to choose.

  He could give her all the options and see what she wanted, a life with Freddie or death, but the ultimate decision would be his. He sighed, he would not tell her anything that day. He would keep a close look on Ben because he knew that the nightmare would start with the boy’s disappearance. He had to try to prevent that. In the meantime he had to phone Marco. He dialled his number and informed him that the ball had started to roll. He asked him to have everything they had discussed ready and to await his phone call the following night after he had had his discussion with his wife.