Hero for the Holidays

by Charles Payseur

  Before he could ask any of them, though, Wayward Sun turned back to him and scowled. “You’re still here? Just leave me the fuck alone!”

  Cody fled out the door and down the hallway. His hands were shaking, his head was still ringing, and he had no idea what was going to happen next.

  FUNNY HOW knowing someone was being held prisoner on what was supposed to be a restful Caribbean island—which, okay, was also a supervillain’s villainous lair—put a damper on being able to enjoy the salt air breezes and fruity drinks with little umbrellas expertly prepared by a robot bartender.

  With a sigh, Cody pressed his cheek against the smooth metal of the lair’s outdoor bar. An inch in front of his face, cleaning nanobots that looked a bit like ants were carrying away errant salt crystals that had fallen from his drink.

  “Initiating Vague Conversation Prompt #5: Do you want to talk about it?” the robot bartender asked, absolutely no emotion in its voice. It was one of the systems separate from Aubrey, apparently, but it made for wretched conversation.

  “I came here to feel better about, well, about being dumped,” Cody said. “But it’s hard to feel better knowing that Wayward Sun is locked up for the holidays because of me. It just doesn’t seem fair. Dr. Devious won’t be back for weeks!”

  The bartender remained silent for nearly a minute before replying, “Initiating Supportive Statement #32: You just need to put a positive spin on it.”

  Cody turned his face so his forehead was resting on the metal bar top. “I’m not sure how.”

  Another silence, followed by, “Initiating Dismissive Statement #1: You will never know unless you try.”

  Cody pushed himself away from the bar and retreated inside. He couldn’t stand the sun, the perfection of the beach. He had to do something. The robot bartender might be a jerk, but maybe there was something to its terrible advice.

  After a quick stop at the cafeteria, Cody knocked on the door to the containment room.

  “Are you seriously fucking knocking?” came Wayward Sun’s voice from inside.

  Cody almost fled again, but this time held firm. “Can I come in? I brought sandwiches.”

  “You br—fine, come on in.”

  Cody entered to find Wayward Sun sitting cross-legged on the floor of his cell. His hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and he looked at Cody with a mix of bewilderment and what could have been pity. He was back in his costume, freshly cleaned.

  “Hi,” Cody said. In his hands were two plates, each with a sandwich—one vegetarian Reuben with seasoned tempeh, one roast beef with asparagus pesto. “Look, I just wanted to say sorry about all this. I really didn’t know that Aubrey was going to be locking you up indefinitely.”

  Wayward Sun waved his hand. “It’s not your fault. I should thank you for making sure I got inside. I have a feeling that I wasn’t in a good way, and it does feel nice to be clean.”

  Cody stepped closer, looking for some drawer that would allow him to pass the sandwich through. The divider in the center of the room was just energy, though. “Uh….”

  “Probably not going to work, I’m afraid,” Wayward Sun said. “Aubrey’s already told me that I’m supplied with enough hard rations and water to last until Dr. Devious gets back, but I doubt there’s any way to get anything in or out.”

  “But then, why did you tell me to come in?” Cody asked. It seemed almost cruel now, to bring in food Wayward Sun couldn’t eat.

  “I was bored,” Wayward Sun said, a bit sharper than necessary. But something softened in his face, and he smiled. “And I figured if I’m going to be imprisoned here for weeks, I should probably try to make the best of it.”

  Cody nodded and, without any furniture on his side of the room, sat down on the floor. “Well, I’ll try not to moan too much while eating these sandwiches, then. Though when you get out, I recommend staying around at least long enough for lunch.”

  Wayward Sun laughed, reached behind him, and pulled out a half-eaten ration bar. “After two weeks of these, I might go full dark side for a decent meal.”

  “Sorry. Again.” The words fell out of Cody’s mouth like weights, and yet he didn’t feel any lighter for having said them.

  “Quit apologizing,” Wayward Sun said. “Tell me, what brings you to be lair-sitting for the world-infamous Dr. Devious? Just the sandwiches?”

  “Not really,” Cody said. He took a deep breath. “Well, I didn’t know about them, at the time I accepted the job. Actually, I just got dumped. Turns out my boyfriend was tired of the relationship. If his text log is to be believed, he’s been tired of it for a while now. So Sanjay, who I know from work, thought spending some time in the sun and sand would be good for me.”

  Wayward Sun was still a moment, then shook his head and covered his eyes with a hand.

  “Sorry, did I say something wrong?” Cody asked.

  “Not at all. It sounds a bit familiar, is all. I just got dumped too. Dumped out of my relationship and out of my band.”

  “Band? You’re a musician?” Cody didn’t really know that much about Wayward Sun, just that his superhero partner was Total Eclipse. The two had been around for probably ten years and had a decent following.

  “Something like that. My real name is Sonny Skyes. My partner, Total Eclipse, is Dirk Night.” He laughed bitterly. “I mean, it’s not the biggest secret. We do some touring as Sun and Eclipse. Covers, mostly. Dirk on vocals, me on guitar. We have a drummer and bass player too. Well, we had. Now Dirk has them and I’m out. Apparently I was ‘holding the band back creatively.’ Whatever that means. More like Dirk has been fucking the drummer for months. I saw the warning signs but didn’t want to say anything. Turns out, I didn’t have to.”

  “I’m so sorry,” Cody said, and finally it was like a bit of that weight was lifting. He might not be able to do anything about Sonny being stuck in a super cell, but he could listen and share. And maybe together they could deal with the things that had led both of them on a perhaps-ill-advised trip to Island Devious.

  “Thanks,” Sonny said. “And sorry for your fuck of an ex too.”

  A silence closed in around them for a moment, as if their collective sadness was a poisonous cloud come down from space to try to destroy them.

  Sonny sniffed and shook his head. “So, what do you do around here for fun?”

  “Well,” Cody said, “I was hoping to catch up on a few shows that I’ve missed because of the recent unpleasantness. I bet I can get Aubrey to set up a screen and projector in here. You like All My Werewolves?”

  “I love it,” Sonny said, gold eyes blazing with excitement. “I’m two seasons behind, though, because of how it airs in the UK.”

  Cody smiled. “Then we’ll just have to catch you up.”

  And like that, the weight seemed to lift completely and Cody could feel himself almost float out of the room to set things up.

  ON-SCREEN, JEREMY ran a finger along the scar on his jawline, self-inflicted in order to allow him to once again pretend to be his identical twin, Jacob, the pack’s Alpha. Asher—Jacob’s on-again, off-again boyfriend—looked on skeptically from the shadows. The pack was being stalked by a mysterious presence, one who implied “Jacob” might not be who he claimed to be.

  Cody hugged his knees to his chest. Behind him, on the other side of the containment field, Sonny leaned forward on the bed so far that he was in danger of falling off. The latest season of All My Werewolves was intense, and Cody only regretted that he couldn’t watch it shoulder to shoulder with Sonny, hoping the hero would maybe pretend to stretch and wrap an arm around him. It was a cheesy move, perhaps, but Cody was a hopeless romantic at heart, and Christmas was only a week away.

  They’d been watching the show for two days, laughing at the jokes, passing scandalized looks at every torrid affair. But never so much as “accidentally” brushing hands or nudging each other on the way to get more popcorn. Which Cody still felt guilty about—he had accrued a small army of empty plates from sandwiches, bowls from popcor
n, glasses and mugs from iced coffee and tea. Sonny, still trapped in his cell, had only the hard ration bars and plain water, but refused to let Cody suffer along with him.

  “That’s got to be Jacob, right?” Sonny asked. There were only five episodes left to go until they were caught up. But the midseason finale was set to release on Christmas Eve. Anything could happen before then.

  “That’s just what everyone is expecting, though,” Cody said. “And ever since they brought MantaRay on as creative consultant, things have been anything but predictable.”

  “Well, I certainly didn’t expect Asher to win the Quintuple Diamond Ski Race. He’s always been such a klutz.”

  “I’m guessing that they’re setting up that his strain of lycanthropy has mutated,” Cody said. He loved talking about conspiracy theories, speculating what would happen next. It was something Craig had never cared about. No point in guessing when you’ll know in a week how you’re wrong. Cody was starting to see just how little they’d had in common besides a joint desire to appear like a put-together and presentable couple.

  “Mutated?” Sonny asked. “But how? I thought the government lab that created them stumbled upon the whole werewolf thing by mistake?”

  Cody bit his lip, wondering how much to give away about his secret fan theories. It felt too good to share, though, and all came spilling out.

  “They did. Except that every time we’re shown what the lab was like, there’s that one figure hidden by shadow. And you remember how early in the season there was that snake shifter who shifted again?”

  “I thought that was because they were really a basilisk shifter?”

  “But,” Cody said, holding up a finger and raising his eyebrows, “the important thing was that they had two distinct shifts. They were snake first, then basilisk. And they intimated that they came from the same source as the pack. That has to mean that they were experimented on, too, by someone who was there in the lab.”

  “The shadowy figure?” Sonny looked like he had never considered it.

  Cody couldn’t help but laugh, dropping back into the pile of pillows he had amassed for himself on the floor.

  Sonny adopted an air of faux outrage and glared, though his mouth was still turned up in the corners in humor. “And what exactly is so funny?”

  “You’re an actual, real-life superhero,” Cody said between laughs. “I mean, you’ve probably personally faced a number of evil scientists or dark wizards or wicked science-wizards. If I remember correctly, you even fought against the villain who was responsible for the industrial accident that caused your powers.”

  Well, Cody might have remembered because in between watching episodes of All My Werewolves, he had been looking up everything he could about Sonny Skyes, also known as Wayward Sun.

  Sonny crossed his arms. “Your point?”

  Sitting up, Cody searched Sonny’s face for some sign of offense. The last thing he wanted to do was be insensitive—he was sure people made a lot of assumptions about superheroes, and he had no doubt it was exhausting to deal with. Still, he couldn’t quite resist pressing a little.

  “Well, it sounds like you’ve had your share of shadowy figures appearing from your past. It just seems like, given everything you’ve been through, you’d be used to these things. That you’d… see them coming.”

  To Cody’s relief, Sonny didn’t frown or yell. He just shook his head once and licked his lips, as if he had to wet them to help lubricate whatever he was about to say.

  “That’s not unfair. I’ve faced my share of extradimensional twins and time-displaced relatives who looked almost identical to me. I’ve defeated the CEO I thought was responsible for my accident, only to have it revealed later that it was really the plot of an immortal magician bent on creating a body worthy of becoming his next vessel. I’ve been kidnapped by vampires, wrestled Amazonian lizard-women, and even nearly seduced Merlin himself.”

  He paused, looking around the small space of his cell. “And yet the only thing that all has taught me is that there’s no predicting what comes next. Or maybe, that I don’t want to know what comes next. Part of the joy of being a superhero is getting yourself in a completely ridiculous situation and finding a way out of it.”

  His eyes met Cody’s, and for a moment, they just looked at each other, silent, waiting.

  “It’s like starting a relationship,” Sonny said. “You spend too much time wondering how it will happen and you might just miss what’s right in front of you.”

  Cody swallowed, face hot, heart suddenly racing. “So you’re saying you’re not interested in guessing what comes next?”

  “Oh, I wouldn’t say that,” Sonny said. There was an almost mischievous twinkle in his eyes. “Just that, if I thought about it too closely, analyzed too hard, it all might lose some of its magic. Its wonder. When all the time travel, alternate realities, and wicked science-wizards become just an equation to punch in and solve, then what’s the point? Where’s the joy? I’ve seen too many heroes go bad because it became just a chore for them. Mundane. Or worse. That it’s all a mystery is what keeps it interesting, what keeps all the freeze rays, celestial quests, and containment cells worth it.”

  “Well, that and prime-time soap operas,” Cody added, unable to resist.

  Sonny rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well, that too.”

  Without noticing, Cody found himself leaning toward the containment field, toward the sight of Sonny’s body, Sonny’s lips. He could see, on the other side of the field, Sonny was doing the same thing. Despite having known the man for only days, Cody wanted to break the field down, embrace him, and feel their lips pressed together hot and needing. He sucked in a breath as he stirred in his pants. Which is when the alarms started going off again, shattering the moment.

  Sonny laughed. “See, always something new.”

  AUBREY WAS offline again. Of course. After a few hasty apologies, Cody was out in the hallway and headed for….

  He paused. Where exactly was he going? The alarms were blaring, and yet he had no idea what they meant. The last time they had sounded, it hadn’t really been for anything. Had it?

  “Aubrey?” Cody tried again.

  Still no response. Shit.

  Before he could plan his next move, though, there was a thundering bang from the entrance to the lair.

  Okay, so maybe there was someone at the front door. Great. Just great. Cody made his way toward the noise. Probably it was just someone from the Superhero Alliance come to ask after Sonny. Probably they had noticed that with Aubrey offline, the island’s defenses were down. Probably they just wanted to talk and they’d be on their way. Or would help to get around the containment field. Cody didn’t know if that thought made him happier or sad. He didn’t want Sonny to be locked up, but once he was released, the chances that Cody would ever see the hero again were slim.

  Another loud bang cut off any further thoughts, though, and Cody cleared his throat as he arrived at the front door, which was at least heavy and metal and barred from the inside.

  “W-who is it?” Cody asked. With all the systems down, he couldn’t use surveillance to see what was happening outside, and there certainly wasn’t a peephole he could use.

  He jumped as the door resounded with another bang.

  “Devious! Open up!” came a voice on the other side of the door, heavily muffled by the metal.

  Had no one gotten the message that Dr. Devious was away from his lair at the moment? Cody tried to count to ten to calm down but only got to three before the banging resumed, causing the door to bulge toward him, though the heavy bar held fast.

  “We’re here for what’s ours, Devious!” The voice was angry and obviously belonged to someone powerful enough to dent metal.

  “He’s not in right now,” Cody said as loud as he could without yelling. He didn’t want whoever was on the other side to think he was angry. “I can take a message, though, and I’m sure Dr. Devious will get back to you as soon as he can.”

  Cody
couldn’t be sure that he had been heard, but for a long while, the banging didn’t resume. Then, finally, the voice returned.

  “What do you mean, he’s not in? We swam from fucking Alaska and you’re telling us he’s not in?”

  “I’m afraid so.” Cody took a step back, half expecting another attack on the door. “He’s gone off world for the holidays.”

  “For the holidays? Off the fucking planet? You’re joking.”

  “No. Look, if you want to speak to his AI assistant, I’m sure she’d be able to explain this much better. I’m just the lair-sitter.”

  “Lair-sitter? Okay, now I know you’re just jerking me around.”

  The door shook and dented inward farther as the banging resumed. Shit. Apparently these guys weren’t as accommodating as Wayward Sun. The door buckled, and Cody looked around for something to brace it with. Most of the furniture looked either built into the walls and floor or too heavy to move. Cody dashed to a nearby closet and found… a wooden broom and what looked like a heap of broken machinery. Old doomsday devices? Cody ignored them and grabbed the broom. Maybe he could help reinforce the bar with it or something.

  On his way back to the door, though, there was a terrible wrenching noise and Cody watched in horror as the bar snapped and the doors swung open. And standing there, amid the ruined metal and bright light from outside, was a shark. With legs. And arms. And… jeans?

  “Look here, Dr. Devious,” the shark, or shark-person, or whatever it was they were, said. “We’ve been swimming for months. Do you really think we’d be put off by some half-cocked excuse about being on Mars? We’re here for the Heart of the Arctic, and we’re not leaving until we get it.”

  They walked forward into the lair, head almost scraping the ceiling. They had to be eight feet tall and probably nearly twenty from snout to tail. Muscles bulged on beefy arms and legs that strained against the wet denim of their jeans.