Chen

by JC Hay

  And then his work could sit on a metaphorical shelf somewhere, because there was no way the TJF would allow him to publish it. The risk to the wolves was too great, and he’d already done enough damage.

  Javad dug through the med kit with his good hand, but there weren’t any suture kits left. Either they’d been used and not replaced or hadn’t been packed in the first place—it didn’t matter now. That meant he’d have to rely on a field patch and keep his arm immobilized. He sprayed clotting factor into the hole in his shoulder and packed it with sterile gauze. With Chen’s help, he’d be able to get a couple of the large adhesive patches over the injury. He’d clean it again when he got to Khonsu, and that would have to do.

  Thinking of Chen knotted his stomach and made his throat tight. Nujalik was hurt, she was in danger, and all because of him. It strengthened his resolve not to return to the constellation; if the people blackmailing him came after him, he could deal with it alone. Then he wouldn’t be a threat to the other umbra wolves. He knew disappearing would hurt her, but it kept her safe. At the very least, she understood what it meant to sacrifice to protect the people you cared about.

  As if thinking about Chen summoned her, she opened the door to the cabin and leaned the rifle against the wall. She studied at his arm from across the room. “That looks...better?”

  “You’re a lousy liar.” Javad chuckled, sending a pinch of pain along the nerves of his arm. “Any chance you could help me put the patches on? It takes two hands and, well...”

  She nodded, levering off her boots before crossing over behind him. He heard the telltale rip of an antibiotic sealant patch being opened, and then she was gingerly spreading it over his injury, careful not to put direct pressure on the wound. “How’s that?”

  “Better. You’re pretty good at that.”

  Her response was distant. “I’ve done a few field dressings.” She moved around in front of him and put the second patch over the smaller entry wound.

  He winced, not from his injury but at the pain in her voice. It had been a dumb comment on his part. Of course she’d treated injuries in the field before. He nodded toward the window and the woods beyond. “What did you do about...them?”

  She stepped away and rubbed the back of her neck. “Apparently getting hit with two darts is lethal. He didn’t make it. The one I knocked out must have come to and ran. Or he had a buddy drag him off.”

  “Then they’re not done.” He swallowed against the panic trying to pull itself up his esophagus. Someone got away. They could be on the way down the mountain now, could already be calling in retaliation against his family. Worse, he and Chen had killed someone. In self-defense, sure, but this wasn’t a battlefield or the Belt. This was Farhope. The goddamned capital. There were laws.

  “They’ll come back,” she agreed. “And probably with more than two shooters. The unlucky one had some top-notch gear. The patching looks mercenary, but I don’t recognize it. Whoever’s behind this, they’re well funded.”

  Javad manufactured a makeshift sling to hold his arm, then had her help him bind his upper arm to his chest. Immobilized, the pain of his injury subsided into a dull ache. He stood and headed toward the bedroom to check on Nujalik.

  He knelt next to the bed. Nujalik lay on her side, breathing in a steady rhythm. A quick check found a normal pulse. She could well have been asleep, but for the fact her eyes were open. The completely black orbs watched him, blinking as he checked her vitals.

  “Any change?” Chen stood in the door and vibrated with the effort not to pace.

  “No. She’s awake, just still. Chances are it’s a high-end neuromuscular block. That would explain why too much was bad for...that other soldier. The Hunting Cry’s med bay should have a reversal agent.” They used them frequently in surgery. Technically it could also be metabolized by the time she got back to the constellation, but without knowing what drug they used, he didn’t know how long that might take. No point getting Chen’s hopes up.

  “Is it dangerous? Do I need to worry?” The pain in her voice cut like a scalpel.

  “She should be fine, but she won’t be moving much until the dart wears off. We can make a better assessment once that’s been treated.” He paused. “Moving her should be minimal, can you get a shuttle here?”

  “Of course, that’s how we got dropped off. There’s a clearing a few klicks away.”

  “Good. I’ll be a decoy, lead them away, while you wait for a shuttle here.”

  She stared at him. “No.”

  “It’s easy. I’ll call up to the constellation as soon as I’m through the pass. These mercenaries knew where you were, Chen, which meant they had to follow something. My bet is it’s the rental, but it could be my omni, or it could be someone on the constellation even. If I act like you’re with me on the radio, the mercenaries might follow me instead.” It bought her time, and more importantly, could get her to safety.

  She filled the doorway. “You can’t go off by yourself. It’s too dangerous.”

  “It’s a better plan than waiting for them to return where they know we are. This way the worst-case result is to split their forces. You know I’m right.”

  Her brow furrowed. “I don’t know that, and it’s not like you have the best track record with decision-making.”

  He winced. Not from the dig, but from knowing she wasn’t wrong. He’d done this to them both. “I need to try and make this right. They wouldn’t be here if not for me. At least let me try to get you two back safe.”

  She straightened her back. “I can protect all of us.”

  “But you don’t have to. I create the distraction; you stay and defend the place. I’ll meet you back on the Cry, and we’ll get Nujalik taken care of.” Accusatory sadness poked into his back as the wolf understood the lie in his words. For a moment, he worried she’d tell Chen, but the ranger just nodded and stepped out of his way.

  “You can fix her, right?”

  The hope in Chen’s voice almost broke him, almost made him change his mind, but if they sent mercenaries after Chen, they were likely already coming for his family. He had to do something to fix it. He ruffled the fur on Nujalik’s chest and headed toward the door. “She’ll be right as rain. Help me load a blanket with a wolf-sized number of pillows, and we’ll get it in the hover.” When she looked confused, he added, “In case we’re being watched.”

  They loaded the decoy into the backseat, and he followed her to the cabin door. She held his cheek, staring into his face. “Stay safe. Don’t be a hero.”

  “That goes for you too. Both of you.” He leaned his head down, and Chen tilted her face up for the kiss. He savored the taste of her mouth, the way his blood sang when he touched her, and tucked it away in his memory. It wasn’t the passionate exploration he might have wanted if they’d had more time, but it would have to do for a goodbye.

  CHEN WATCHED OUT THE bedroom window at the roar of the shuttle’s engines. The ship moved fast enough that it was already past where she was looking, but she didn’t need visual conformation. TJF airpower had a particular whine to the engine that made them unmistakable.

  She rubbed her fingers into Nujalik’s fur. “Our ride’s here. You ready to go?”

  The wolf’s happiness brushed her nerves, dimmed by the drug and the damage to their bond, but the tip of Nujalik’s tail flicked, and her lips curled in a canine grin.

  The stillness that gripped the rest of the wolf’s body dug icy talons into Chen’s heart, but she forced herself to smile. “See? You can wag your little tail. At this rate you’ll be walking to the shuttle under your own power.” Skepticism jangled along the wolfbond, strong enough to make the muscle in her cheek twitch, but she kept grinning. “But I’ll carry you anyway, just to be safe.”

  The wolf relaxed, even if Chen didn’t. The best clearing for a shuttle landing was the same one she’d used, a good klick distant. The mercs who had attacked had top-of-the-line kit; it was safe to bet they had good intel to go with that kind of funding
. The route to the shuttle would be the ideal time for an ambush. If the worst happened, carrying Nujalik would get them both out of the kill zone faster.

  Waiting wasn’t her strong suit, but when she’d called for the pickup, Commander Penzak had ordered her not to rush toward the shuttle when it arrived. They’d let her know when it was safe to proceed. With nothing else to occupy her thoughts she was left with worry and regret.

  “This is at least partially your fault, you know.” She perched on a corner of the bed and stroked a hand down her wolf’s side. “Why in the hell do you like him so much?”

  The wolf didn’t ask who she meant and probably didn’t need to. She heaved a heavy sigh, her canine lips vibrating in a close proximity of a raspberry. Her annoyance pricked in Chen’s muscles like steel wool.

  “Yeah? Well, I wish I could read your mind too, sometimes. It’d make this a hell of a lot easier.” Priddy was annoying, and he could be aggressive when he probed into old scars—both physical and mental alike. He also was careful enough to recognize when he’d gone too far and was quick to change his behavior. He had risked a lot to try to warn her, including the family he clearly cared about. While she didn’t love his methods, she understood the allure of taking a calculated risk to keep everyone else out of harm.

  Now she was stuck hoping he was protecting himself instead of being able to assure it. She combed her fingers through Nujalik’s ruff.

  The bigger question was what to do about the thing that had kindled between them. She had no doubt he felt it too, but it was still a bad idea. Her first instinct was to let their night together be what it was. A one-off. It might make for some awkwardness if she or Nujalik were hurt again, but that would be tolerable.

  Except he could understand Nujalik. Could hear her better than Chen could in some ways. That sort of bond was rare—Chen would have said mythical had another member of her fireteam not found his perfect match in the last year. Seeing Inouye and Lucia together showed a kind of happiness that Chen hadn’t thought possible.

  There was a knock, and Chen tensed until a pulse of reassurance carried along the tattered threads of the wolfbond. Nujalik knew whoever the new person or persons were. Chen walked out into the main room and opened the door. May gave her a curt nod before they stepped inside, Pakhet following close behind. The wolf waited until Chen had locked them in, then padded down the hall to the bedroom.

  “How’s Nujalik?”

  The note of worry in her squad leader’s tone spoke volumes. Chen let her façade drop on an exhausted sigh. “I don’t know. Jav—Dr. Priddy said that she’d be fine once they got back to the Hunting Cry.”

  Any expectation she had that they might ignore the slip dissipated when she caught May’s concerned look. They put a hand on her shoulder, voice soft. “How are you?”

  Chen nodded before turning to walk to the bedroom. For a simple question, the answer felt frustratingly elusive. “Conflicted,” she muttered finally. It wasn’t the perfect word, but it worked.

  “Because he created a threat to the pack? Or because you take it personally?” May followed her into the bedroom, shot a dirty look at their wolf standing on the bed. “Nujalik is sick, Pax. Stop bugging her.”

  Disagreement throbbed along the wolfbond, and Chen shook her head. “She’s fine. Nujalik’s happy she’s close.” Her wolf relaxed with the admission, and Pakhet lay down next to Nujalik, close enough to rest her muzzle on the other wolf’s shoulder.

  With that sorted, Chen went back to the question her battle partner had asked. She knew they wouldn’t repeat themself, but also expected a more concrete answer. “He can hear Nujalik, you know. I think he even sees her when she’s invisible.”

  Admitting it out loud was terrifying, and she forced herself not to fidget while waiting for May to respond.

  “You say that like it’s a problem.”

  “Isn’t it? He’s compromised. He’s...” She paced to the far wall and back. “But I can’t deal with him like a threat, because I can’t risk hurting Nujalik. I can’t—”

  “No one’s asking you to.” May let out a slow breath, like they were focusing their patience into a blade. “But your wolf isn’t the one you’re afraid of hurting.”

  Chen winced. “I’d stop him if I had to.”

  “We both know I don’t mean the good doctor, either. I get it, Elena messed up your heart, left some ugly scars in there.”

  They would know, she admitted. May had been the shoulder she’d leaned on, at one point literally cried on, in the wake of the breakup. They were likely the only person who knew how small her ex had made her feel. Chen growled and wished she could punch her way to a solution instead. It was so much easier. “I don’t know if I’m ready to do this again. I can’t even maintain my wolfbond...”

  May squeezed the back of their neck. “That will get better.”

  “We hope.” She dragged a hand down her face. “Javad says she’s going to need surgery to repair her hip. It’s a when, not an if. And there’s no telling what will be left of the bond if she goes under again. I can’t deal with him, not if he’s responsible for me losing her.”

  “That hasn’t happened yet. You don’t even know that it will. All you’re doing is making yourself miserable for no reason.” May perched on the edge of the bed to pet Pakhet and Nujalik both. “You’re stronger than that.”

  Chen turned and stood in the doorway. “It’s too soon. I’m not ready for a relationship yet.”

  “No one’s forcing you into one.” They didn’t look up from the two wolves. “Just because Nujalik thinks he’s right for you doesn’t mean you have to follow along after.”

  “Doesn’t it?” The wolf formed the other half of her soul; denying Nujalik would be like denying herself. But sharing her with another was somehow even more terrifying. She shoved the words past the thickness that clogged her throat. “It’s too much. Sharing my wolf.”

  May nodded. “I imagine it’s terrifying. Making yourself vulnerable. And also exhilarating, knowing that someone else is there to catch you. To share that burden.”

  “I’m not ready for a relationship,” she said again, a weak offering of defense against May’s brand of relentless logic.

  “Then don’t worry about one. Same as what you’re afraid of with Nujalik’s bond. Stop running so far down the road that you can’t pay attention to where you are.” They stood up, and Pakhet jumped to the cabin floor. “Does he make Nujalik happy?”

  Even without the gentle wag of her wolf’s tail thumping against the mattress, there’d be no mistaking the sense of affirmation that bubbled along the wolfbond. Chen smiled reflexively, unable to resist her wolf’s joy. “Yeah, that’s an affirmative.”

  May nodded. “And does he make you happy? At least when you’re not messing it up with all your worry?”

  That was a harder question to answer. Yes, he made her laugh, made her smile, could take her to the heights of pleasure. But he could infuriate and enrage her too. And maybe that was the real truth of it—that he made her happy in spite of how much he could get under her skin.

  “Yes,” she finally admitted.

  “Then accept that for what it is. Take it at face value for now and see what happens. We should get going before the others start worrying about us.”

  She carefully lifted her wolf onto her shoulders, settling Nujalik into the carry all rangers learned. “When did you get so good at this?”

  The corner of May’s mouth curled in a smile. “We’re family. Pack. We look out for each other.”

  “That’s not exactly an answer.” She followed her squad leader down the hall and out the cabin door. “But thanks.”

  “Thank me by forgiving yourself. I need you at your best. Things are only going to get worse from here.” They tugged their omni out of a pocket and checked it. “Inouye and Grenville say the coast’s clear. Let’s go.”

  Chen nodded as she turned off the main power to the cabin and locked the door. A moment later and they were diving
into the woods toward their rendezvous point.

  Thirteen

  “Any baggage to claim?”

  Javad looked at the attendant standing at the arrival terminal and resisted the urge to ask if guilt counted. It wasn’t their fault after all. Yes, Chen was going to be pissed at him, but that was going to happen regardless. He needed to make sure his family was okay. He pulled out his omni. Still no contact from the blackmailers, though he couldn’t decide if that was a good or bad omen. Part of him had hoped they might demand he explain himself. More likely the survivor of the attack on the mountain had reported back to them, and they were responding as they’d promised.

  His stomach clenched. Nothing new in that—it had been in various stages of churn for the sixty-hour trip from Farhope to Khonsu. He’d been fortunate the two moons were near their closest point; they could be as much as thirty days apart when they were on opposite sides of Calypso.

  Javad passed through the final security checkpoint and stepped out into the spaceport-adjacent marketplace of New Abydos. The largest city on Khonsu, it also predated the implementation of atmospheric terraforming. The domes that made up the oldest part of the city were still visible on the horizon.

  He closed his eyes and took a deep breath; the smells—the feel—of home permeated his being. The main square in front of the spaceport was a haven for tourist traps of every variety, with both storefronts and impromptu merchants all calling out to lure in visitors with easy money. The chaotic noise and the mélange of languages as people chatted and bartered rolled over him like a gentle wave. Underneath everything was the faintest whiff of brimstone in the air, the homey, hellish note that Khonsu’s citizens both loved and hated. Whatever else the Hunting Cry was able to provide, its grey corridors and sterile uniforms could never feel like home.