Couch Potato Chaos- Gamebound
Page 9
After that attack, the Master Glove continued its cycle but at double the speed that it had been attacking with before. When the eye opened, it was only for two seconds. Due to the increased speed, the finger bullet hit Tasha again, bringing her down to one heart and wounding her left leg. It was dodging too quickly, and Pan couldn’t make the shot. Tasha looked to where the impact marks were on the stone floor.
Right before the glove slammed into the ground, Tasha dove into the center of the impact crater and held the gunblade straight up, propped vertically against the ground. She flicked the switch on her gunblade to the default setting and pulled the trigger just as the palm slammed right into her sword, impacting its eye.
The hand fell to the ground, and Ari scrambled to finish it off. His fists were a blur as he pummeled the eyeball one hit after another. Finally, the Master Glove flew up into the air and spasmed, flying this way and that. Purple rays of light burst from it as it shattered and finally dissolved into mist.
Victory! All enemies have been vanquished.
+750 experience gained. (371 to next level)
870 GP found.
Level up!
Level up!
You have reached level 4.
You have 4 unassigned stat points.
Choose either a heart container or mana container.
Choose either a heart container or mana container.
Pan was tapping at the air in front of her. Tasha couldn’t see anything, but it was plain that she was using a menu. “I leveled up. Level 7.”
Tasha dismissed her battle log. “Congrats! I just gained two levels. I just made level 4.”
“I’m halfway to level 12,” said Ari. “This just simply isn’t possible.”
“I don’t see why not. That was a pretty tough boss. Isn’t it normal to level up after a fight like that?”
He shook his head, tapping at the air in front of him. “No, it isn’t normal. Pan spent nearly a year going from level 5 to 6. I didn’t think that it was mathematically possible to gain two levels at the same time. That boss gave me 550 experience. I would have expected maybe forty or sixty on the outside.”
Tasha thought about that. “Ari, just assume I know nothing about how experience points work. Because I don’t.”
“I suppose I can give you a quick overview,” he said. “Every person on Etheria has one or more character classes. You can only have one character class at a time, though it is possible to set a subclass to receive half of its stat and class modifiers.”
Tasha opened up her menu. “You mean like how my class is couch potato?”
“Yeah,” said Ari. “My class is pugilist and my daughter’s is thief. Each class has its own level, a special number that describes how far you have progressed in that class. When you gain a level, you receive four stat points and the ability to increase either your health or mana reserves.”
Tasha thought back to the multitude of Japanese RPGs she’d played that did the same thing. “Yeah, multiple classes with their own levels is a pretty common trope.”
“I thought you told me to assume you know nothing.”
“Sorry, please continue. I was just wondering how experience is calculated.”
“I’ll just explain that, then, though the mechanics of leveling is common knowledge. So each level requires a different amount of experience points, or XP, to progress to the next level. Just take the level number and multiply it by one hundred to know how many experience points you’ll need to reach the next level. So going from level 1 to 2 would take 100 XP, reaching level 3 would take 200 XP, level 4 would take 300 XP, and so forth.
“There are many ways to earn XP, but the fastest is by killing mobs. The amount of experience is based on different factors, including level difference, class and racial modifiers, the number of people in your party, and so forth. Fighting weaker monsters than yourself will result in much less experience, while a bonus is awarded for fighting higher-level monsters. The most optimal strategy is to fight monsters several levels above your own but not far enough that you face a high chance of dying. Boss monsters give a bonus amount of experience as well.”
The leveling system sounded just like some MMORPGs she’d played in the past. Some aspects of this world seemed to take after classic console games while others more closely resembled online RPGs. The boss battle was clearly patterned after a Japanese action RPG, while the leveling system was closer to an online game. It seemed like stat growth and damage calculation was linear rather than exponential, which made it more similar to a classic tabletop RPG.
Ari continued. “Still, even with the boss and level bonus, we shouldn’t have gotten anywhere near that amount of XP from a single battle.”
Pan had stopped listening and was rapidly tapping at the air in front of her.
She must be assigning stat points. Since Tasha had eight unassigned stat points, she decided to do the same thing.
Her intelligence was already fairly high, so that stat seemed less important, at least for the time being. Tasha desperately needed to raise her strength and agility score since they both played a large role in melee combat. Eventually she would need to add points to precision to improve her aim and hit rate.
Charisma didn’t seem to play a role in combat, but there was more to a typical RPG than just combat. Traditionally, a higher charisma score would open up new quest options and improve prices at shops. She resolved to put some points into charisma at the next level up.
For now, she elected to assign three stat points to strength, three to agility, and two to precision. The moment she confirmed the stat assignment, her body transformed, just as it had earlier. The remainder of her excess body fat vanished, and her body felt lighter. As she felt her arm, Tasha discovered something that had never been there before—actual, factual muscles. She opted to add two more heart containers.
She opened the menu and checked her upgraded player stats:
Tasha Singleton (Level 4 Couch Potato)
Race
Human (Player)
Subclass
None
Weapon
Beginner Gunblade (ATK 1)
Armor
Cozy Bathrobe (DEF 0.25)
Iron Bangle (DEF 1)
Heart Containers
6/6
Mana Containers
3/3
Amusement Index
8.5
Strength
5
Intelligence
8
Agility
5
Precision
6
Charisma
4
ATK
5
MAG ATK
7
DEF
8
MAG DEF
6
As long as she had the stat window open, Tasha thought that she would go through her abilities. They had been piling up. In fact, every time she had performed an action since arriving in Etheria, there had been a constant stream of messages saying that she had unlocked new abilities.
She scrolled through her list of abilities. Most of them were simple things like weapon proficiencies, jumping, climbing, running, sneaking, conversation, eating, going to the bathroom, listening, spell design, and even one for being digested by a monster. She wasn’t sure that was one she should be happy about. She hadn’t reached level 2 in any ability yet, but some of their progress bars had begun to fill.
There was an ability called Stat Shuffle, but it was grayed out. There was no ability description, only some accompanying text which said that Stat Shuffle wouldn’t be unlocked until level 6. She would have to wait until level 6 to learn more about it.
The ability at the end of the list was one that she didn’t recognize.
Rapid Leveling – Level MAX
Player-specific ability. Player and all party members gain experience points and learn abilities at ten times the normal rate. Only applies to the first six party members, including the player.
&nbs
p; “Uh, Mr. Ari, I think I know why we’ve been leveling up quickly.”
Tasha read the description of the rapid leveling ability to him out loud.
“Well, I guess that settles that,” he said. “There’s no longer any question that you are a player. You’ve just saved us years of level grinding. So… where will you go from here?”
“I’m not sure. Until now I was just focused on getting out of the temple.”
“Then I suggest you see the high-elven king. If you travel to the north for about thirty miles, you will find a road. Follow it to the west, and once you come upon a town, you can hire a caravan to take you the rest of the way to Brightwind Keep, where King Questgiver dwells. The elven king is wise, and according to the legends, he gave advice and direction to earlier players.”
Tasha wanted to write all this stuff down but didn’t have any paper or writing things.
“So… there are other players beside me, or am I the only one?”
“There hasn’t been a player in Etheria for many centuries. Like I said before, until I met you, I’d not really believed that they existed. If the myths and legends are to be believed, there have been five players before you. The first was Taj the Wanderer. He aided the first elven king and helped found the save-point network that prevents death. Then there was Erik the Incorrigible, followed by Scott the Questionable, and then Charles the Not Quite As Incorrigible As Erik. The most recent player was Jak, Slayer of the Lich Queen.”
Did he say Jak? As in her father, Jak? If her father was a player as well, that would explain why he possessed the game cartridge to begin with. He had never said anything about Etheria before. What else didn’t she know about him?
Ari continued. “Every player has had a drastic effect on this world, either for good or ill. I wonder what your legacy will be, o Tasha the Couch Potato. I wish Pan and I could come with you, but we’ve traveled for months to reach this place.”
“You’ve done more than enough,” she said, “without both of your help, I never could have gotten past that freaky eyeball hand monster. So, I just need to travel north and turn left when I get to a road? Got it. Just one question… Which way is north?”
Pan was pointing at something in front of and below her.
After a moment, Tasha realized what the girl was trying to tell her. “The compass on my HUD. Got it.”
They said their goodbyes, and Tasha walked through the now open temple doorway with Denver in tow.
Quest Complete: Welcome to Etheria
50 XP awarded.
The quest had been completed, but a new one hadn’t appeared to take its place. It seemed that the quests weren’t going to hold her hand. The temple was truly beautiful when seen from the outside.
Tasha turned in place until the letter N on her compass was in the center of her HUD. With the temple at her back, she started walking. After taking no more than a dozen paces, there was a harsh grinding noise coming from behind her. The temple was shimmering a dim purple. The building itself began to fade away, turning into a purple cloud of mist. For a moment, Tasha could actually make out the shape of the floors and walls as the temple vanished.
The building’s dematerialization took but a handful of seconds, and once it was gone, Ari and Pan were left standing alone in a field of crushed grass and dirt amidst some ancient ruins.
Ari clapped his hands together. “Change of plans. On second thought, Tasha, we’ll accompany you after all.”
The save point that had been on the temple roof now lay amidst the temple ruins. After Ari and Pan touched it, Tasha set off with them on her journey with her newfound friends.
Chapter 8
The Jester and the King
The citadel of Brightwind Keep sat at the heart of the capital city deep within the borders of the elven kingdom of Questgivria. The central pillar was as tall as a skyscraper. If a person stood upon the courtyard at its peak on a cloudy day and looked upon the city, they would see the clouds from above.
Surrounding the central pillar were half a dozen shorter spires that towered above the city. Thick stone walls connected them to one another and guarded the castle interior.
A mesh of circular glass rings connected the shorter buildings at odd angles, arcing between the seven spires. These were lifts, which served as the only entrance to the spires and allowed the elven nobility, guests, and servants to travel between them. Points of light traveled along these glass halos as they transported their occupants to different areas of the castle.
If one were to look at the castle when the sun was highest in the sky, glimmers of light would reflect off an invisible magical wall that protected the castle from attack from above. The only access to the castle was through three doors in the front wall connecting the southernmost pillars.
The largest of the three gates remained closed, except to let in giants and dragons, and during events, when large numbers of people were allowed entry. It took a great deal of strength to open it and could only be opened by multiple giants or dragons working together.
The second gate was to admit royalty and their guests, while the third gate let in workers and supplicants.
Brightwind Keep was not only one of the tallest artificial structures in Etheria, it was also the best defended. An army of dragons wouldn’t be able to penetrate the walls or magical wards. The sorceress queen of Zhakara might be able to break its magical defenses, but it was guarded by a small army of high-level elven archers and warriors.
And then there was him. No, the king didn’t like to think about him, but today he didn’t have any choice. The need for knowledge and understanding trumped his normal dislike of the man.
The elven king, Iolo Questgiver, paced in circles around the courtyard.
“Where is he? I summoned him an hour ago.”
King Iolo Questgiver was tall for an elf. Though he was over two thousand years old—as measured in Etherian years—to human eyes he would appear to be in his midthirties. He brushed away his long black hair, revealing pointed ears, and resumed pacing.
A harried elven servant emerged from the stairs below and stepped into the courtyard.
“My king,” he said, “we found him. He was performing in the city square. It seems quite a crowd had assembled.”
Behind the servant, a man followed. Most people thought he was a goblin, or perhaps a deformed dwarf. He was about half of the king’s height, had an elongated nose that ended in a sharp point, eyes the shape of wide slits that never fully opened, and a mostly bald head that was covered in but a few rogue hairs.
His skin was clay white. Most people thought that his face was painted, but it wasn’t. He didn’t wear any kind of makeup.
By far his most distinctive physical characteristic was his grin. It was unnaturally wide and ever present. This wasn’t a simple smile that anyone would reveal in response to some minor amusement—it was a deep, pervasive contortion of the face. An expression of sublime regalement at everything around him. A momentary smile might be reassuring, but this was just the opposite.
His clothing was loud and boisterous. Atop his head, he wore a hat with three prongs, each a myriad of colors and a jingle bell at the end. His pants were striped, and he wore a shirt of red and green that alternated colors on either side. His socks were mismatched, and he wore cloth shoes with an upward twirl at the end.
The elven servant spoke. “Now comes Snickers the Bumble, jester and advisor to His Majesty King Iolo Questgiver.”
“O rapture and joy, what a marvelous day!
Has the king some concern that I might allay?”
“Yes, Snickers. Good of you to ask. Surely by now you know about the menu clocks. They’ve changed to some kind of countdown. What does this mean?”
“Be not confused and don’t misconstrue,
’Tis the god Entropy taking his due.”
“Entropy? The serpent god of destruction? What do you mean his due?”
“He will encircle the world and give a great squeeze,
Naught will remain when he is all through,
when the god of destruction has collected his due.”
“So the past has caught up with us at last,” the king said. “When will this happen?”
Snickers replied gleefully.
“All this will happen, oh Questgiver King,
when the timer runs dry, the world he will wring.
He’ll draw closer and closer till the clock is all done,
then he will crush, kill, maim, and destroy. Oh, what fun!”
“Don’t tell anyone else about this, Snickers. I don’t want to start a panic. I’ll make an announcement when we have a plan of action.”
The creature’s smile grew wider.
“I deeply regret that when this begun
in the courtyard below, I told everyone
that the world would soon come to its terminal end.
I didn’t forestall telling the truth or pretend.
If you had but asked me to keep myself quiet,
I wouldn’t have told them and started a riot!”
The elven king started to feel a headache coming on. He looked at Snickers, annoyed. “Don’t go anywhere. I’ll have more questions for you later.”
Snickers the Bumble took out a bouncing ball and some jacks from somewhere buried in his pocket, sat on the floor, and started playing. King Questgiver turned to the servant who had escorted Snickers in.
“I need you to send swallows to our allies in the slime kingdom and to the dragons of Dragonholm. Have them send their representatives as soon as possible. Send a messenger to every member nation of Questgivria as well. Tell them that I have information about the menu clocks.”
“Yes, Your Highness,” the elf said.
“Oh, and where is my daughter? Where is Kiwistafel?”
The servant thought for a moment. “She is currently fighting mobs with Prince Hermes and Sir Slimon. They’ve been away for three weeks but should still be in the vicinity of the castle.”