Couch Potato Chaos- Gamebound

by Erik Rounds

  His head fell to the ground as it was severed from his body. The difference in her attack power and the ninja’s defense was so great that she had been able to finish the ninja off in a single critical hit. Tasha was getting pretty good at cutting people’s heads off.

  Pan and Tasha had just cornered the last remaining ninja when out of the corner of Tasha’s eye, there was a flicker of movement coming from the tower. The two ninjas who were guarding the entrance had mounted raptors, and one of them had the figure of a bound and gagged elven woman with green hair strapped to the mount.

  Tasha quickly mounted Denver and cried for Pan to join her. The girl shook her head and pointed, indicating Tasha should go alone. Pan would hold off the remaining ninjas by herself.

  Tasha urged Denver to give chase, but they had a significant lead, and it would be difficult to close the distance. On the other hand, their raptor was carrying an extra passenger, which was slowing down their getaway.

  Still, after about ten minutes of riding, she realized that she wasn’t closing the distance. The ninja’s raptor must be at least as fast as Denver. A small dinosaur-shaped mob started to form just ahead, but Tasha raced right past it, avoiding combat.

  What would Mario would do in this situation? He would probably throw a red turtle shell at the enemy. Unfortunately, that information did not help her in her current situation.

  Tasha equipped Namaka and leveled it at the closer of the two ninjas—the one that didn’t have the princess. She focused on the ninja, but it was hard to keep her arm steady while riding a velociraptor at high speed over uneven terrain.

  She aimed as best as she could and pulled the trigger. A ball of steam shot from it, just missing the ninja, passing over his shoulder and exploding in a hill in the distance.

  The two ninjas were discussing something between each other, and the one that she’d fired at split off at an angle, riding off in a wide arc. He was going to come at her from the side. Tasha still had enough mana for three more spells.

  As he came at her, she turned her sword to face him, then lowered it to hit the ground in front of him. She pulled the trigger, and another ball of steam shot from the gunblade and hit the ground. His raptor came to a stop to avoid the explosion.

  The raptor ahead of her with the princess was able to keep its distance while the ninja behind her began to close in. Tasha felt a stab of pain in her back and turned to find a kunai lodged in her shoulder. She tried to ignore the pain, but her health had dropped to two and a half hearts.

  Using her uninjured arm, Tasha pointed the gunblade at the ninja behind her and pulled the trigger again. A fireball erupted from the sword and successfully hit the ninja, knocking him from the raptor. The ninja’s raptor kept on running without him but eventually veered off.

  That should buy at least a few minutes.

  Swirls of purple mist were forming around her. As she turned to look forward, she saw a large shadow assembling on the ground around the ninja with the princess. It was as though a cloud was passing overhead, but this shadow started to form into a coherent shape. Tasha looked up and realized that the shadow was from the ethereal mist overhead. It was forming into the largest monster that she’d seen so far.

  It wasn’t spawning for her but for the ninja she was chasing. The cloud of mist took on the shape of an enormous dinosaur that Tasha recognized straight away.

  Ginormasaurus Rex (Level 38)

  Would gladly shake your hand, but his comically small arms can’t reach, so he’ll just eat you instead!

  ATK 68Mag ATK 0

  DEF 64Mag DEF 30

  The giant creature towered above her. It strongly resembled the Tyrannosaurus rex, but this creature was quite a bit larger.

  Seeing a creature that resembled his natural predator before him, Denver slowed down, but Tasha urged him onward. He kept moving, but the ninja’s mount turned and started to run away, right toward Denver. As the ninja passed, Tasha swept her sword at him, cutting him and knocking him from his raptor. The bound and gagged princess fell to the ground, and the kidnapper’s raptor ran off into the distance.

  Tasha quickly dismounted. Denver looked like he wanted to run but somehow found the courage to stand his ground.

  The princess was staring wide-eyed at the monster. She wasn’t able to speak, having been gagged by the kidnappers. It seemed like she wanted to say something.

  The ninja got to his feet and placed himself between the princess and the dinosaur. He weaved some sort of spell, and three clones appeared beside him, each of them focused on the monster.

  The dinosaur lunged forward and scooped up one of the hapless shinobis, but it vanished into smoke when the monster bit down on it.

  Tasha wondered what she should do. Who should she attack first? She could probably take the shinobi, but the dinosaur was far too great for her to challenge. According to the battle menu, it was level 38. Tasha was sure that she wouldn’t survive a single strike from it, much less a battle.

  Instead, she decided to free the princess and make a run for it. She crouched next to the princess and removed her gag.

  “Free my hands!” the princess cried. “I can use magic to help us!”

  “Magic? That would be helpful.” Tasha didn’t have any sort of knife, so she started working on her restraints with the gunblade.

  Note to self: Get a utility knife. The edge was sharp enough, but a gunblade wasn’t exactly a precision instrument.

  The Ginormasaurus rex snatched up another ninja, but this time it wasn’t a clone. Blood sprayed as it crushed the ninja with its massive incisors. The other clones flashed a momentary expression of fear, and then each vanished in a puff of smoke.

  Finally, Tasha finished working on freeing the princess’s hands just as the dinosaur turned its attention to them. Princess Kiwistafel’s eyes glowed a bright white, and she cried “Tétha Lishkâ!” Threads of arc lightning emerged from the princess’s hands and struck the G-Rex’s head, dealing four hearts of damage and staggering it.

  “Nice going!” Tasha said. “If you can hold it off for a bit, I can free your legs, and we can make our escape. I’m Tasha, by the way. I’m here to rescue you.”

  The princess looked fearful. “I’ll try to hold it off, Tasha. We can’t fight this creature; it’s beyond both of us.”

  There were forty-two heart containers above the scan data. The princess was right; they weren’t going to defeat this enormous creature.

  Once again Kiwistafel’s eyes glowed, and she cried, “Ashîl a Palúrin!”

  A knot of thick vines rushed out of the ground beneath the monster’s feet, holding it in place. The monster tried to bite at the princess, but the vines forced it to stay just outside of biting distance.

  The spell didn’t last long, though. In a contest of strength between the Ginormasaurus rex and a handful of vines, the monster was clearly going to be the victor. One by one the vines snapped under its relentless struggle.

  Finally, Tasha cut through the last of the bonds holding Kiwi’s legs. She scrambled to her feet and ran toward Denver, the princess following behind. Denver was extremely agitated and running in place. As they approached, he lowered his body to the ground to let the two get on.

  Tasha quickly climbed up, and Princess Kiwistafel climbed on behind her.

  As she squeezed her legs together and urged the raptor forward, Denver burst into a sprint. She turned his reins so that they were running back the way they came. Tasha and the princess couldn’t defeat it by themselves, but maybe they could make it back to Ari and the others. Together they might be able to either bring it down or find some other way to escape it.

  The last of the vines tore, and the great dinosaur sprung toward Denver, running at a mad dash. It was gaining quickly.

  “Can you cast that vine spell again to slow it down?” Tasha asked.

  “I can’t,” she said. “It has a two-minute cooldown. I need another seventy-eight seconds.”

  “What about your other spells?”r />
  “I don’t think they’ll even slow it down. It would just waste mana.”

  “Seventy-eight seconds?” Tasha said. “He’ll catch us long before then.”

  Their gargantuan pursuer was closing the distance rapidly. The ground shook from the impact of its footfalls.

  “I’ve got an idea,” Tasha said.

  In the distance was the ninja who Tasha had knocked off his raptor, and he was still chasing after the wayward mount. It seemed his raptor had detected the inbound G-Rex and decided that discretion was the better part of not being eaten by a giant predatory dinosaur.

  “I can kill that kidnapper with my magic,” offered the princess.

  “No!” Tasha said. “We need him alive to distract the G-Rex so we can escape. Hopefully the ninja can buy us some time.”

  She adjusted the reins so that their bearing took them straight toward the recovering ninja, who had given up on catching his raptor and was now fleeing from the oncoming monster in abject terror. He barely noticed Denver as they ran past him.

  Ultimately, she’d overestimated the time that the G-Rex would take to kill and eat the hapless kidnapper. She’d delayed it by precious few seconds, but again it started the chase.

  Tasha could see the tower in the distance. At their current speed, they might be able to make it in ten minutes. Denver was burdened by two riders rather than just one, but he was still making good time.

  Every time their pursuer almost caught them, the vine spell’s cooldown elapsed, allowing Kiwi to cast it and create additional distance. It was a delicate equilibrium, but they were able to use it to close in on the tower.

  As Tasha approached the tower, she caught sight of her allies. Shinobi corpses littered the ground surrounding the tower. Pan, Sir Slimon, and Prince Hermes were running toward them with their weapons ready. Ari was waiting at the tower entrance, signaling for Tasha to enter. They reached the tower and both dismounted.

  “Get the princess into the tower and keep her safe,” said Ari.

  “Got it,” she said and ran into the watchtower with the princess. The watchtower was in a severe state of disrepair, but a save point occupied the center of the room. Empty crates and time-worn barrels lined the corners of the room.

  They both touched the save point and were restored to full health and mana. Tasha returned to the entrance. She wanted to help her friends, but Ari had told her to protect the princess. That was the whole point of this quest, after all.

  The two of them watched the battle as it played out. Prince Hermes shouted insults and shot at it ineffectively while Sir Slimon cast recovery spells as fast as he could. Hermes was nearly eaten several times, but he always managed to dodge the dinosaur’s attack. Pan fired bolts at it, but most bounced right off its tough skin.

  Ari climbed onto its back and began hitting the dinosaur with a barrage of punches. Its health was slowly inching downward, one quarter of a heart at a time.

  A small explosion lit up from the G-Rex’s side. Hermes had equipped a rocket-propelled grenade launcher in place of his minigun and had hit the G-Rex, but even that only dealt one heart of damage. The party was just too outleveled to deal anywhere near the amount of damage needed to bring the creature down.

  Princess Kiwistafel turned to Tasha. “Tasha, I’m a practiced mage. I know I can help. We must go to their aid.”

  “I know how you feel,” Tasha said, sensing what she wanted to do, “but if you get killed, then this will all be for nothing.”

  “In that case, I’m going to the top of this tower. I can cast my damage spells safely from there.”

  “Fair enough, Princess. Let’s go,” Tasha said. She wanted to join the fight as well.

  Tasha turned to the stairwell and began climbing. The wooden planks that composed the individual stairs had become weakened through age. The walls vibrated as they heard the sound of the G-Rex’s footfalls from outside. One of the planks broke into pieces as the princess put her weight on it, but Tasha caught her and pulled her back up.

  They passed a window and could see the fight raging on. The G-Rex still had over thirty hearts of health remaining.

  None of her friends had been killed yet, but they were barely doing any damage—still only a quarter at a time. Its weakness was lightning, and the princess was the only one in the party who could deal lightning damage.

  They continued their ascent. It was slow going since much of the stairwell had collapsed. Tasha reached the top first, and when she entered the room, was struck in her chest with a katana. Her eyes opened wide in shock, and she staggered backward. One of the ninjas had been waiting. He drew back his sword. The surprise attack cost her two heart containers. Being impaled like that would have been enough to kill a normal person, but fortunately she was in Etheria, and she still had heart containers left.

  He struck again, but Tasha deflected this strike with her gunblade. He swung his sword at her and hit Tasha again, bringing her down to the last heart container and sending a surge of pain to her midsection.

  Tasha just wasn’t used to fighting people who knew what they were doing. At some point she needed to learn how to fight with a sword properly. She circled around the ninja, holding him at bay with her gunblade.

  An overpowering roar caused her body to vibrate and the tower to shake. Their friends needed them—now. Tasha couldn’t afford to let this fight draw out.

  The princess arrived on the tower roof behind the ninja.

  “Hey!” Kiwi yelled, causing the ninja to turn around. Tasha took advantage of the distraction and stabbed him in the back, pulling the trigger just in time to deal three hearts of damage. She drew out the weapon and finished the ninja off with another slash.

  Kiwi ran up to a large wooden cabinet and tried to open it, but it was locked. “Help me with this! My equipment is inside!”

  Digging around in the dead ninja’s black bodysuit, Tasha discovered a key. She used it to open the chest, revealing an elaborate green outfit and an oak staff capped with a green orb. The princess took the clothing and the staff, then started tapping the air in front of her. A moment later, her tattered clothing was replaced by a sorceress outfit with long green sleeves, leggings, and a white cape. There were some potions in the chest as well, and Tasha didn’t waste any time in downing one, restoring her health to full.

  “Thanks for getting me here, Tasha. With my staff magnifying my power, I should be of more help.”

  She ran to the edge of the outpost and began chanting a spell. A glow surrounded her body.

  “It’s a magic buff,” she said raising her staff. “What you saw before was a mere fraction of my power…” Her eyes glowed a brilliant white. The dinosaur was below and no more than a few dozen meters from the tower.

  “Tétha Lishkâ!” she cried and a bolt of lightning significantly more intense than the one from earlier emerged from her staff and slammed the dinosaur in the chest. The great mob flinched from the impact, falling to the ground. It scrambled back to its feet and let out an enraged roar. Its health dropped by eight hearts, bringing it down to just over half of its starting health.

  At once the great dinosaur ceased its attack on the dwarven prince and turned its attention to the princess. It looked up at the tower, scanning for some way to reach her.

  “Tétha Lishkâ!” Kiwi shouted again, and a second bolt of lightning struck the creature. This time the dinosaur didn’t flinch, though the shot did eight more hearts of damage, bringing it down to thirteen hearts. It turned its massive body and charged the tower.

  Tasha leveled her gunblade at the creature and shot a ball of compressed steam at it, dealing only half a heart of damage. Maybe for now she would leave the spell casting to Kiwi.

  With a thunderous boom, the dinosaur rammed its massive body against the tower. The entire building began to shake. Kiwi lost her balance and fell on her back. Tasha grasped her hand to help her up. Together they ran to the edge of the building. The G-Rex was leaning against the building, trying to get to them,
and the brick wall crumbled as the G-Rex put its weight against it. It could almost reach the princess.

  “Tétha Lishkâ!” Kiwi casted, firing another bolt of lightning at the monster, dealing another eight damage. It flinched from the hit, stepping back.

  It still had three hearts remaining. One more lightning bolt would be enough to finish it off. Unfortunately, the G-Rex wasn’t going to give her the opportunity. It rushed at the tower, slamming its body into it. The tower had lost all structural integrity and began tipping away from the creature. After a moment, it stabilized but was angled away from the dinosaur. Tasha grabbed the ledge but watched in horror as the princess began sliding away from her.

  Tasha tried to catch her, but Kiwi was already beyond the reach of her arm. The princess caught herself at the ledge on the other side of the tower. Some of the bricks gave way, but she was able to secure herself against one of the tower’s windows.

  While they were both gripping opposing sides of the partially collapsed and tilting tower, the G-Rex circled around it. Tasha struggled desperately to pull herself up, realizing that the princess was now low enough to be within the dinosaur’s gaping maw.

  The beast darted straight at her, opening its mouth wide. The princess just stared at it in fear.

  “Hit it with another spell!” Tasha said.

  Kiwi regained her wits and cast another lightning bolt, but it missed its target, the shot arcing ineffectively to the ground.

  As it was snapping at her, Kiwi grabbed the ledge with both hands. She lost her grip on her staff, and it tumbled down the angled tower roof, hit the G-Rex in the face, and fell to the ground. Tasha groaned. Casting any spells would be impossible with her hands holding the ledge. There wasn’t any wall left to separate her from the dinosaur, and the G-Rex looked ready to attack.

  In desperation, Tasha released her grip from the ledge. She could land on the other ledge that Kiwi was hanging from and help her to her feet. But that didn’t happen, because at just that moment, the tower began to tilt laterally. It was collapsing.