Couch Potato Chaos- Gamebound

by Erik Rounds

  “Are you sure?” asked Kiwi. “That sounds kind of insane.”

  “I’ve played video games before where that worked. Let’s give it a try.”

  And so, Tasha climbed up on Aralogos’s back and onto his shoulders. Slimon lifted up Pan and placed the girl on Tasha’s shoulders.

  “Are you sure you want to go through with this?” Kiwi said.

  “Umm… yes?” she said uncertainly.

  Slimon lifted himself off the ground with three tentacles so that his center of balance was high in the air, giving him the leverage that he would need. He used another tentacle to grab Ari and hurled him up as high and as fast as he could. Ari was about halfway up the vertical corridor when his upward momentum died, and he reached the apex of the throw.

  “My turn!” Tasha declared. With Pan still on her shoulders she leaped off Ari’s shoulders into the air… and instead of jumping straight up, jumped at a slight forward angle, slamming her face into the wall. She double jumped anyway, which changed her angle to be straight upward.

  Pan jumped from Tasha’s shoulders, directly toward the glass pedestal holding the key… and slammed her head right into it. The key vibrated and moved a few millimeters but gave no other response. The trio tumbled down the vertical corridor, hitting walls and each other on the way down. Princess Kiwi winced as the three of them slammed into the ground.

  Trista Twinklebottom was laughing like crazy, rolling on the bottom of her jar with mirth. “Do it again! Do it again!”

  Once everyone was healed up, Ari turned to Tasha and said, “This has to be one of the worst ideas you’ve ever had.”

  “No! It’ll work! My aim was just off. Besides, it helped me gain another level in my Double Jump ability. We need to practice this until we get it right.”

  “N-no more jumping,” Pan insisted.

  “Okay, fine,” Tasha said grouchily. “Does anyone have any other ideas about how we can get the key?”

  “Yeah,” said Twinklebottom. “You bozos could let me out the jar, and maybe I can get it for you.”

  “Anyone at all?” Tasha asked. Nobody else had any ideas.

  “Fine. It’s not as though you can send your ninjas after us now anyway.”

  Tasha unscrewed the lid from the jar, and Trista flew out. “So long, suckers!” she cried as she flew off into the distance.

  Tasha facepalmed. “Did anyone not see that coming?”

  Slimon was the one who finally came up with a plan, which was actually a modified version of Tasha’s plan. Tasha held on to Slimon as Ari threw her as high as he could. Once at the apex of the throw, she threw Slimon, who used his tentacles to grab on to the platform and pull himself up. He collected the key and slid down the walls to the ground without incident.

  They made their way to the staircase that led to the top of the Spiral Tower. Trista was there waiting for them.

  “It took you jerks long enough to get here. Hurry up and open the door. I want to get out of this damn tower and get back to trying to murder the lot of you.”

  “Fine, fine.” Tasha opened the doorway, and the stairway to the top of the Spiral Tower was revealed. Light shone through the doorway. It must be daytime. Tasha had been in the tower so long that she’d lost track of whether it was day or night.

  With her friends in tow, Tasha ascended the staircase to their ultimate destination. The end of their mission was at hand. In minutes, the Orb of Life would be in their possession.

  Chapter 40

  Fire and Life

  The uppermost floor of the Spiral Tower was an immense metal circular platform. There was a single hatch built into the metal floor to allow access from within. A translucent blue force field surrounded the structure and prevented access by air. It was reminiscent of the protective field around Brightwind Keep.

  In the center of the platform was an altar built into the tower, and upon it lay a small white globe that pulsated at repeating intervals. Within the globe were glowing spirals of white and blue light. As it pulsed, waves of energy ran through a spiral circuit in the floor toward the edge of the tower’s rim. Surrounding the altar were four metallic spiral pillars.

  Tasha walked to the edge of the circular tower. There were no handrails to keep people from falling off, but she wanted to see just how high she was off the ground. Far, far below was the great metallic base of the tower in which the Spiral Tower was embedded.

  The save point was a small circle at the bottom of the tower. She remembered how large the save point was close up, but now it was little more than a small circular dot. For some reason, she briefly wondered if it would make a good base-jumping target. What a strange thought. Would these sorts of thoughts be normal for her from now on? She backed away from the edge and approached the Orb of Life.

  As she began to walk toward it, the princess held her back. “Do not approach the orb. It has defenses to keep intruders from taking it.”

  As if sensing the presence of intruders, a field of lightning sparked to life between each of the metal pillars that surrounded the altar, like a net composed of strands of lightning.

  “Then how do we retrieve it?” Tasha asked. “I suppose we could try poking it with a stick. We could knock the orb from its pedestal and pick it up on the other side.”

  “That won’t be necessary,” said the princess. “I’ll get it. My father was once its bearer. Maybe it will accept me as well.”

  “What if it doesn’t?” asked Pan.

  “Then we’ll find out soon enough.” She walked toward the field of lightning and extended her hand.

  As her hand touched the lightning web, her flesh became darkened and charred. She screamed in pain and drew her hand back. Slimon quickly cast a healing spell, bringing her back to full health.

  Tasha was shuffling through her inventory, looking for a suitable stick, but before she found one, Kiwi got back to her feet and once again approached the altar.

  “I… have to do this. One more time.”

  For a second time, she extended her hand into the lightning web. Her hand was instantly charred, but she pushed her arm further into it. The part of her hand that reached beyond the lightning mesh was healed. She put one foot into the lightning web and forced her way through. Her entire body was fried and then instantly healed. Soon enough, she was standing within the lightning web, mere feet away from where the orb sat on its pedestal.

  Her sorceress robes were in tatters, but her body was unharmed. She reached out and grasped the Orb of Life. She held it in her hands, wonder reflected in her eyes. Without any effort or pain, she stepped back through the lightning mesh.

  The moment she took the orb from the pedestal, a luminous pillar of light shone forth into the sky above. Moments later, the light was gone, and the spiral circuitry at the base of the tower had gone dark. The force field that had once surrounded the tower had gone dead.

  Tasha joined her friends as they gathered around the princess.

  “It… accepted me,” said Kiwi. “The orb… I can almost hear it speaking to me.”

  Princess Kiwistafel rejoined her friends and held out the orb. It seemed to be a clear glass globe. There was a light glowing from within, spiral patterns of energy emitting outward, fading as they approached the outer extent of the globe.

  Kiwi held the orb into the air, and a globe of power rushed forth. A large number of buffs appeared in Tasha’s HUD.

  Life Aura effect applied.

  Buff added: Greater protection, DEF + 60

  Buff added: Health regen, 1 heart per second

  Buff added: Greater shield, MDEF + 60

  Buff added: Haste, speed + 30

  Buff added: Resist enchantment, added 50% chance to resist debuffs

  All debuffs dispelled.

  Tasha stood with her friends under the umbrella of power that Kiwi wielded through the Orb of Life.

  “We’ve done it.” Kiwi lowered the orb and held it to her chest. “We’ve done it!” she repeated. Slimon took her hand.

&nb
sp; “Let’s go home,” said Tasha.

  Ari walked to the edge. “One issue. I don’t want to be that guy, but how are we going to get down?”

  Tasha looked back at the entrance that led back into the tower. She really didn’t want to go back through the tower. Though it would take less time going down than up, there had to be a faster way. She might be able to use the gravity shift ability to run along the tower’s edge, but she hadn’t leveled it and might not make it all the way down before the effect ran out. She could just jump and then reverse gravity at the halfway point, but that plan was dangerous to say the least. Besides, she needed a plan that would get everyone to the ground, not just her.

  She looked over the edge and saw the outline of the save point on the ground far below. The beginnings of a horrible idea began to take root in her mind.

  “What are you thinking?” Ari asked nervously. “I know that look. That’s the look you get when you have a horrible idea.”

  “N-nothing,” said Tasha. She didn’t want to admit that she had actually considered for the briefest of moments base-jumping the save point. She reasoned that it would heal her the moment she touched it, so landing on it would be safe. It was a dumb idea, though.

  Pan removed her parachute from her inventory. “Parachute,” she suggested.

  “Good idea, Pan. That’s a much better suggestion than what I was thinking.”

  Fortunately, they all still had their parachutes from their earlier encounter with K’her Noálin. Tasha tapped at her menu and was about to remove the parachute from her inventory when she spotted a bright point of light in the distance.

  It was a brilliant blue fireball shooting toward the princess from the sky above. Queen Murderjoy floated downward slowly from where the fireball originated. Before Tasha could cry out, the fireball fully engulfed Princess Kiwi, but the flame effect rebounded off of an invisible dome surrounding her. When the intense blue flames from the fireball died down, Kiwi was unharmed. The circular outline of charred metal surrounded the ground where the princess stood.

  Tense violin music began to play in Tasha’s mind. Queen Murderjoy’s eyes stopped glowing, and she approached the princess. “I’m so very pleased that you were able to retrieve the Orb of Life. It certainly took you long enough. Now, I’ll be taking both you and it with me.”

  Far above the tower, flying monkeys filled the sky. They kept their distance, leaving their mistress to handle the princess and her friends on her own.

  “You were just waiting to ambush us?” Tasha said.

  “Yeah, that’s right. Don’t worry, though. I only care about the princess and her orb. They will both come to serve Zhakara.”

  Tasha scanned the queen.

  Queen Aralynn Murderjoy (Level 108)

  Class: Mage

  The queen of Zhakara. Cunning, amoral, and insane. Master of the Orb of Fire.

  Strength: 20

  Agility: 14

  Dexterity: 18

  Intelligence: 316

  Charisma: 60

  There were five rows of heart containers above her with ten hearts each. There were many damage and defense buffs on her. She had come ready for a battle.

  “That fireball didn’t damage me at all,” Kiwi said. “You’ve miscalculated. The level difference between us is nothing compared to the power of the orb.”

  The queen raised her staff, and the Orb of Fire at its end blazed to life. Dozens of fireballs arced through the air and impacted an invisible sphere around the princess.

  Tasha’s hearts began to drain from the heat alone but were restored instantly. Tendrils of life energy emitted from the orb in Kiwi’s hand into each of the party members.

  The background music was rising in intensity. The violins were replaced by orchestral music, indicating the start of a final boss battle.

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  Kaze circled high above the ground. In the distance to the south was the great ocean, and to the north was the Bog of Most Likely Death. The tower was too far to see, but Kaze knew that it was there.

  The sun was just beginning to set, turning the cloudless sky into a brilliant crimson. High above, the serpent god flew in patterns and circles along its orbit. Kaze had often gazed upon the terrifying apparition. There had been rumors amongst the elves that if you gazed upon it and were unlucky enough, it gazed back upon you. Those who experienced this were overcome with paralyzing fear. It was as though an ominous voice spoke wordlessly in their minds, telling of pain and death.

  Kaze didn’t like looking at it. The snake god in the sky frightened him. Though he hadn’t understood the quest when he joined, he had a much clearer understanding of the threat now.

  His background music switched to rapid violins, telling of a coming conflict. Kaze looked about in confusion. He returned his gaze to the direction of the tower and witnessed a pillar of light appear, stretching into the heavens. The effect only lasted for a moment. He might have even missed it if not for the report of the background music.

  Kaze continued to circle but lowered his altitude. Minutes later, he landed.

  Penryth! Come quickly. It is time. I saw an omen from the tower. Violins are playing in my brain! I think the princess is in combat.

  The red dragon stood and approached Kaze. Then it is time.

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  The battle between Queen Aralynn Murderjoy and Princess Kiwistafel had begun. One on one, they appeared to be an even match. Murderjoy’s flames could not reach the princess, and Kiwi undid any damage that the queen dealt out. There were attacks that brought her down to half health, but her damaged state lasted but for a moment before being healed.

  Kiwi’s Orb of Life afforded her perfect defense, but it didn’t allow her to actually damage the queen. Tasha, Ari, Pan, and Slimon attacked the queen with everything they had, but they only ever did quarter hearts of damage at a time, and then only when they got in lucky shots.

  Kiwi held the orb in one hand and her staff in the other. “Everyone, attack her. I can heal you up with the orb. Maybe we can wear her down.”

  As Tasha rushed toward the queen, a cord of blue energy continued to flow into her from the orb. She quickly closed the distance to the queen and slashed at her with Grasscutter. Unfortunately, Grasscutter dealt earth-based elemental damage, which the queen was strong against. She had numerous fire-based defense buffs.

  Tasha returned Grasscutter to her inventory and equipped Namaka, which would deal water-based damage. That was marginally more effective, but the actual amount of damage was still pitifully low.

  Tasha slashed at her crosswise, and as the hit connected, she was able to deal half a heart of damage. The queen hit her at point-blank range with a fireball, dealing fifteen hearts of damage, nearly killing her. Tasha’s hearts were instantly restored. This battle was heavily lopsided against her.

  Tasha stabbed at the queen, but some magical buff prevented her sword from penetrating the queen’s flesh. Murderjoy only took another quarter heart of damage.

  The queen smirked. “I don’t know what you plan to accomplish. Even if you bring my health down, I’ll just drink a health potion. You can’t defeat me. I am like a goddess before you.”

  Tasha jumped back as tracer fire shot through the air toward the queen. Pan had opened fire, but each bullet impacted an invisible magical shell around the queen. The few bullets that made it through only did quarter hearts of damage.

  Ari closed the distance, used his Stone Fist ability and punched the queen in the face. She fell to the floor, having received an entire two hearts of damage. She shot five fireballs at him in rapid succession, killing Ari. He vanished.

  Pan held out her hand toward the queen and shouted “Steal!”

  The Orb of Fire detached from the queen’s staff and flew toward the girl.

  “No!” shouted the queen, holding out her hand. Murderjoy’s eyes began to glow, and the orb stopped its midair flight and returned to the queen’s outstretched hands. Her staff fell to the ground.

>   “Almost,” mourned Pan.

  The queen frowned. “This is growing tiresome. Your levels are nowhere near mine. You have no chance to win.”

  “Maybe I can level the playing field,” Kiwi said.

  Additional buffs began to appear in Tasha’s HUD.

  Buff added: Master Strength buff: ATK + 40

  Buff added: Master Defense buff: DEF + 40

  The queen was down to forty-six hearts from her original fifty. Tasha again rushed toward her and slashed at the queen with Namaka, this time dealing an entire heart of damage. The queen shot five fireballs at her, charing her skin and internal organs and destroying her spidersilk armor. The damage to her body was instantly undone by the Orb of Life, but her armor was gone for good.

  Slimon grabbed the queen in his tentacles and threw her toward the edge of the arena. The queen shot a blast of fire from her outstretched hands, propelling her back in. That was the closest they’d come so far to anything resembling victory.

  Tasha kept on attacking her until the queen’s health was at thirty-nine hearts.

  Queen Murderjoy held out a hand toward Tasha, her eyes glowing a brilliant white. “Greater Charm Person!”

  Tasha felt a strange sensation wash over her. For just a moment, she no longer saw the queen as an enemy. That moment passed as her debuffs were washed away by the Orb of Life’s healing light.

  The queen took out a red potion and drank it, restoring herself to a full fifty hearts.

  “Just what do you think you are accomplishing? You can’t win this. I have literally hundreds of health potions.”

  Tasha returned to Kiwi’s side.

  “The queen is right. This isn’t a winnable fight. At best we’re at an impasse. We need to go.”

  “What do you have in mind?” Kiwi asked.

  “We could jump off the edge of the tower and use the parachutes.”

  Kiwi shook her head. “She would shoot us down from the sky. That or the flying monkeys would capture us before we reached the ground. Even if we escaped, she would just follow us.”

  “Where are the giant eagles when you need them?” Tasha muttered. But of course, there were no giant eagles. There were never giant eagles when you needed them. It was simply too convenient a plot device.