“Yeah, he’s great with them.”
“Well, it’s a good thing he married you. Now you’ve got it made in the shade.”
Cora figured that’s exactly what people would think, but she was happy it didn’t merit a knife shake. “I actually got an email this morning about a job in Cincinnati. I might be taking the kids and leaving.”
Angela stopped paring.
Cora eyed the knife as Angela slowly straightened.
“What?” she said incredulously. Her knife hand was steady as a rock.
“Well, we agreed that this was only temporary, since I don’t want to have to depend on a man to take care of me for the rest of my life. I’m bigger and stronger than that. And I’m making decisions now that are best for my children, as much as I can.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yes,” Cora said firmly. “It sounds like our lives have been completely opposite up to this point, but I’m done needing a man-flavor of the month. I can do this, and I don’t need a man to make me feel worthy or be a status symbol.”
Angela’s perfect face wrinkled. “You’re serious.”
“Of course. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but it’s time I steer the direction of my life by myself and not depend on someone else to do it for me.”
“I’m sorry, girlfriend, but that’s about the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”
Cora twisted just a little so her body was between Angela’s knife and Luna who was still perched on her hip, slowly and somewhat painfully taking the hair out of Cora’s messy bun. “Why?”
“Because you’ve got a good man who loves you, loves your kids, and you’d walk away from him because of some crap, excuse the Baptist swearing, about being independent? Be independent while you’re living here.”
“I can’t. Everyone is going to say exactly what you just did about me having it made in the shade and how I trapped Abner and how I can’t stand on my own.”
“You weren’t made to stand on your own.”
Cora stopped with her mouth open. “Huh?”
“I mean, yeah, some people never get married, and that’s fine. But God made man, and he made woman to be a helper fit for him. Marriage is God’s way of saying teamwork makes the dream work.” Her knife flew around the potato she held in her hand. “I mean, the best basketball player in the world doesn’t go out on the floor by himself and say he can’t have teammates because he’s got to prove to himself and the rest of the world that he can win on his own, right?”
“Yeah, but that’s basketball. A sprinter does it on her own.”
“Life isn’t a sprint, and marriage isn’t a game. With a few exceptions, God meant for adults to team up. Two by two.”
“That’s the ark.”
“I’m a pastor’s daughter. I can tell you about the ark backward, upside down, inside out, and in Hebrew.” She smirked and grabbed another potato.
“But that’s not the way the world works now.”
“It’s the world that changed. Not God.”
“You’ve got to change with the times.”
“He made you. Don’t you think he knows what you need and how you work? Society changes, but nothing ever changes with God. Now that’s in the Bible, dang it.” She punched the air with her knife and opened her mouth, but Cora beat her to it.
“Excused.”
They grinned.
Dinner was a success, and when Angela left, Cora considered her a friend, even if they disagreed. Abner took the boys and went out to work some on the room, which was all under roof.
After they put the kids to bed, Abner grabbed her hand and pulled her out of their room. “Come out and look at it. I think you’ll be impressed.”
She had to smile at his enthusiasm. “I’m ready for you to impress me.”
“Not me. The room, silly.” But his hand squeezed hers, and his mood was lighthearted and happy as he showed her the work that had been accomplished lit by several work lights scattered around the room. The windows were framed and just needed to be put in. A stack of drywall sat on the floor, and wires ran through the exposed studs to where light sockets and switches would be and also to a light on the ceiling.
“So, what do you think?” Abner’s eyes glowed, and she hadn’t seen him this animated about anything.
“I think it’s great.” She meant it. No one had ever built her children a room before.
“I don’t know if we should put the boys in this room or give the bigger room to the girls. And it only has to last until next year, hopefully, because I fully intended when I bought the place to build a house. We just can’t live so cramped up through the winter and next summer. And the materials weren’t that bad.” He put both hands on his head and looked around the room. “I’m sorry. I’ve been talking so much, you haven’t had a chance to say anything.”
He looked at her and must have been able to tell that she was more worried about telling him about her interview than being interested in the room. The glow left his face, and his brows drew in.
Maybe it was easier to focus on trying to get a job than it was to think that someone spent this kind of money and work and time on her and her children.
Angela had said it was because he loved her. Maybe he did. Maybe she loved him, too. But that shouldn’t change anything. Should it?
“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked, coming toward her.
She looked at the particleboard floor, taking a steadying breath. “I got an email today from one of the places where I’d put an application in online.”
“Oh?”
“They want to interview me.”
“That’s great.”
She peeked up at him, and he truly looked happy for her.
“Is it going to be like a video call or something? This is for online work?”
“The interview is in Cincinnati.”
His smile tightened, and he looked to the window, out into the blackness beyond. “When?” He didn’t look at her.
“Monday.”
“So you’ll need to fly out Sunday morning.”
“I figured I’d drive. It’ll be cheaper.”
“We just drove that. It takes two days, and it’s exhausting.”
“I’ll take the little ones with me, but I was really hoping I could ask you—”
“You can leave them all here. I’ll drive you to the airport on Sunday, and I’ll pick you up on Tuesday. We can buy your ticket right now.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I want to.” It looked like he wanted to say more, but he didn’t, pulling his phone out of his pocket and punching into it.
“Come on,” he said. “It’s cold out here. The heat still needs to be hooked up, too.”
He turned the lights out, and they walked out. Cora’s heart beat sickly in her chest. She should be happy. She was going for an interview. If she got the job, it would be the best one she ever had. But she’d be moving her children yet again, and a thousand miles away from Abner.
They went into the kitchen, and she cut him a slice of the leftover apple pie while he got her information and bought her a plane ticket. It wasn’t really standing on her own two feet if Abner helped her every step of the way, but if she got the job, she’d only need a few months until she was able to do it on her own.
“It’s cold out, but we could take a walk.”
She remembered her promise to tell him about the kids’ fathers. She wanted to fulfill it in case she really did get the job and really did leave. He deserved that much.
Plus, she was curious about him.
Chapter 18
It was selfish to hope she didn’t get the job. Abner knew that. He couldn’t bring himself to hope that she did, but he could keep from praying that she didn’t.
If that was what she wanted and it made her happy, he needed to step out of the way and let her go.
Head knowledge.
But his heart rebelled. He wanted to convince her to stay. If she didn’t, he wanted to go with her.
He wanted to, but he knew he wouldn’t, because that’s not where he belonged.
He held the door while she walked through, the cold air funneling in. The wind North Dakota was known for. She hunkered down in her jacket. He lifted his face to the wind.
Cold, hot, it didn’t matter when one was on the roof, he kept working. Couldn’t stop because his hands were cold or he couldn’t feel his feet or he thought he’d pass out from the heat or, more likely, die of thirst. Better get all the nails pounded in before he inconvenienced everyone by kicking the bucket.
It wasn’t pleasant then, but it had taught him self-denial and character. Now, the feel of the wind across the flatland, especially in the dark and cold, it touched something wild in his soul, and he couldn’t help but lift his head, almost like answering a challenge.
Yeah, he’d found the land he was born to love. He wasn’t leaving it.
He slid his hand into Cora’s as they walked off the steps and tucked their joined hands in his pocket. He didn’t want her fingers to get cold.
They walked out the drive, past the barn, and continued on. The silence between them felt right and natural.
“Wow,” Cora said. “It’s so...amazing out here.” She huffed out a breath. “It didn’t feel friendly the night we arrived. Maybe it’s because you’re beside me, but the land feels alive, almost. Like it has a spirit.”
“Maybe there’s less stuff to distract you and it’s easier to feel God.” That’s kind of how he felt.
“Jason is Andrew’s father, and we’re the only two who know it.”
He stopped walking. She didn’t turn to face him but lifted her head to the sky.
“Stephen is Derrick and Summer’s father. We lived together for a while. Got married. He cheated. I left and came back a few times. It was a mess. A lot of fighting and I started going to bars. He finally ran off with someone else, and I was a disaster. A lot of drinking, a lot of different men, and I don’t know who Kohlton’s father is. I don’t even know if I spent more than one night with him.”
He squeezed her hand, which was limp in his pocket. “You don’t have to tell me this.”
“You’re right. You should know. People ask, and it’s kind of weird that you don’t know the fathers of your wife’s children.” She snorted without humor. “It’s sad that your wife doesn’t know the father of your wife’s children.”
“I wish I could go back and do that one thing differently.”
“I lived with another guy; he was from New Jersey. And yes, I know how babies are made, and yes, I know about the newfangled invention of birth control, but I had four small children and was working nights at the all-night diner, studying graphic design when it was slow, and taking care of the kids during the day while he worked. Time slipped by, and I forgot. He left when Luna wasn’t quite two months, and neither of us knew I was pregnant with Claire. I was, however, awarded child support for two children. I get it once in a while, when he decides to work.” She lifted her hand up then let it down, slapping her leg. “There. That’s the whole sordid story of my life.”
She turned to him. “You see now what the issue is?” She tugged at her hand, but he wouldn’t let it go. “I kept thinking all I needed was a man who would stay. A good man. And it was a lie. I needed to buck up and do it myself.” The wind blew her sigh away. “Angela said that God meant for a man and a woman to team up. And that might be true. But I’ve gone so far from what God intended that there’s no hope for me.”
Abner’s heart felt like a piece of wood, hard in his chest. But he opened his mouth, because he still had hope. “I was thinking about the woman at the well.”
Cora’s head turned.
“You know,” he continued. “She had five husbands, and the man she was living with when she met Jesus wasn’t her husband.”
“Yeah, I know the story,” Cora said.
“It’s a story that’s been read by millions of people. Her life is immortalized forever because God’s word shall never pass away.”
Cora wouldn’t look at him, but he kept going. “If her life had been perfect, then she wouldn’t have been the perfect woman for that story.”
“I guess I don’t understand your point.”
“You’re the perfect woman for my story.”
And then she did turn to him. “What is your story, Abner?”
“I waited for you.”
She shook her head. “I told you everything.”
“So did I.”
“Are you serious?”
“As a heart attack.” There wasn’t a hint of humor in his tone. Because there was nothing to laugh at.
“Then that means...” Her voice trailed off, and her head tilted.
He could only assume that she was thinking about their kiss.
“Yeah.”
“Crap.” She spun and started walking fast back to the house.
“Cora,” he called.
His voice acted like a whip, and she started to run. Just like she had the last time when he’d pushed too hard.
He didn’t want to run after her, but he strode toward the house. Could they fix this?
His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he pulled it out. Luke. He’d been back in New Zealand for several weeks. Abner swiped the bar and answered.
“Yeah?”
“Hey, man, what’s up?”
He thought about saying he’d gotten married, but he really didn’t want to get into the whole complicated situation.
“Not much.” What a lie.
“Well, hey, I’m slammed, but I got a gig planting cotton in Australia. Too much for me to handle solo. It’s gonna be through the holiday season. Don’t matter to me, and figured since you don’t have no family, wouldn’t matter to you, either.”
At this point, Abner would typically say “when can you pick me up from the airport,” but he couldn’t. He wouldn’t go if Cora were staying. If she left...
“How soon do you need to know?”
Two beats of surprised silence.
“I should start next week. Moving the equipment over the weekend.” His breath huffed over the phone. “I really can’t wait.”
“Then don’t. I can’t give you an answer right now. You keep looking. I’ll call you and see where you’re at when I know for sure I can do it.”
“Something wrong?”
That was about as close as any of the guys on the crew would get to prying.
“Personal stuff.”
Another silence. Abner would bet that Luke was trying to figure out what a single man with no family could be dealing with that fell under the heading “personal stuff,” but that’s all he was gonna say.
“I’ll talk to you next week,” Abner said.
“Sure. Take it easy. And hey...”
“Yeah?”
“Call me if you need me. I’m on the other side of the world, but you know I’ll come.”
“I know. Thanks.”
He swiped the phone and hung up, unsure if that was God’s timing or just a distraction, but knowing if Cora left, he’d be in Australia over Christmas.
CORA WALKED THROUGH the small airport, pulling her luggage behind her. She’d aced the interview. Funny how when she stopped caring how she did, her nervousness disappeared and she did better than she dreamed she could.
But she didn’t care. Alone in the hotel room on Sunday night, sitting in the absolute silence by herself, with only her own thoughts to pick at her, she’d had time to do a lot of thinking.
She missed her kids. Missed the happy chaos. She couldn’t say she missed the inevitable fighting, but she missed the feeling of family and the security of home.
She hadn’t felt the security of home until Abner had walked into Aunt Sandy’s house. None of the other men she’d ever been with had changed the atmosphere of the house and made it homey.
There was a physical attraction. Scarier than anything she’d felt with anyone else. But that’s when it hit her, lying on her bed in her hotel
room.
She hadn’t wanted to depend on anyone, most of all, a man. She’d done it for too long, and that was true.
But what Angela said had come to her mind, and for the first time, Cora realized that two people making a team wasn’t just her needing Abner.
It was Abner needing her.
Him standing in the room he was building, almost bubbling over with excitement, wanting to show her what he was doing. His desire to have her with him and walk her around the farm and point out everything. The love and laughter that filled his home.
The fact that he’d waited just for her.
He needed her to fill the empty areas in his life, just as much as she needed him. A symbiotic relationship. Of course.
Once she figured that out, she didn’t care about the interview anymore, because she knew she wasn’t taking the job.
Of course, that’s when the call from Bob had come.
She hadn’t spoken with him for long, but he’d just happened to be going west this coming week to visit his relatives in Montana for an early Christmas celebration, since he couldn’t get off over Christmas, and promised to stop in.
She hadn’t believed him. And she didn’t care anyway. She wasn’t sure how things stood between Abner and her—they’d not really talked since she’d run from him—but everything that she was going to decide hinged on what he was doing and how he felt.
The couple that was walking in front of her turned off toward the car rental desk, and Abner stood just thirty feet away, framed by the huge windows and the North Dakota sky and prairie, Claire in his arms and Luna holding tight to his hand. Kohlton and Summer pressed close against him, and Andrew looked up at him, earnestly talking while Derrick listened.
He wore jeans and boots and a red button-down, and he looked tall and rugged with the beard he’d never shaved and the cowboy hat that shaded the upper half of his face.
Abner shook his head and laughed. Andrew and Derrick cracked up with him.
But almost like he could feel her gaze, his head lifted and his eyes landed on her. His laughter faded, leaving a small smile hovering around lips that tightened just a little as insecurity lightly brushed over his face.
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