The Light Within Me

by Ainsley Earhardt

  “Are you sitting down?” he asked.

  My heart skipped a beat. “Yes, I’m just outside with my dogs,” I said.

  “Fox News Channel called. They’re interested in flying you in for an interview,” he said.

  I jumped up and said, “Are you kidding me?! THE Fox News Channel . . . that’s the national level.”

  “Yes, Ainsley, Fox News Channel. They want to interview you. This is huge.”

  “Oh my goodness. National! One of the national news networks wants to interview me? Wow! When?” I asked.

  “I have to work out all the details, but soon. Maybe this week,” he said. We talked a little longer about the actual position for which I would be interviewed. I knew I was going to start out at the bottom. Doing overnights was a possibility, as were other reporter positions. I would not know for sure what my duties would be until they actually offered me a job. Even then I knew things could change at any time.

  As soon as I got off the phone, I called my husband, who delightedly agreed this was the best birthday present ever, and then my parents, who of course were equally thrilled. As soon as I hung up, I started making arrangements for the trip. My agent called back and told me that the interview was in two days. I scheduled to take the day off work. Then I went shopping. If I was going to interview for a national news channel I wanted to feel my best. I found a black, knee-length pencil skirt that was a splurge for me. I remember it cost more than a hundred dollars and I was a T.J.Maxx and Marshalls shopper who was used to getting a nice item at a discount. But I justified spending more on the skirt because the top combination was on sale. I wore a rust-colored tank that had a matching little, short jacket with a ruffled edge. I loved it. The ruffles flanked my neck and stood up like a collar. I wore black, pointed high heels and felt professional and pretty in the outfit. I kept it for a very long time because it represented a very special time in my life.

  Two days later I was on a direct flight from San Antonio to Newark, New Jersey, which is just across the Hudson from Manhattan. Throughout the flight I felt such a sense of gratitude to God. I spent much of my time going over the notes I had made to prepare for my interview. I went over the names of those who worked at Fox News and also reviewed what I wanted to get out of the job. The pilot came over the loudspeaker and announced we were starting our approach for a landing. The plane descended and I could see the skyscrapers and the New York City skyline. I stared out the window, tears streaming down my face. Whether I got the job at Fox News or not, I felt so incredibly blessed by God to even have this opportunity. Seven years earlier I was in the middle of my last semester of college, frantically putting together audition tapes and hoping to land a job somewhere. Now I was on the brink of moving to the national level in New York.

  As the plane descended into the airport I wept and wrote a prayer in my journal, thanking God over and over for bringing me here and giving me such an incredible birthday present. Father, I want your will to be done, I prayed. Show me if this is the right job for me. You and you alone hold the future in your hand. If you want me at Fox News I pray that you will pave a way before me and give me favor with the bosses at Fox News I will meet tomorrow. If not, make that just as clear. Open or close this door in an unmistakable way. On a human level I really wanted this job but I also knew my Father in heaven knew what was best for me. I wanted His plan, His will, His best more than I wanted any specific job.

  A car met me at the airport and took me to my hotel in midtown Manhattan not far from the Fox News Channel’s building on Sixth Avenue. By the time I got to my room I was very hungry because I was so nervous that I hadn’t eaten much over the past few days. I ordered a slice of New York pizza and a glass of wine through room service. Maybe it was because I was so hungry, but that slice of pizza was the best I’d ever had. While I ate I watched Fox News and reviewed my notes for my job interview the next day. I then crawled into bed and read my Bible and prayed. My agent told me to familiarize myself with the heavy hitters at Fox News. So I did my homework. I studied notes on all of the bosses just in case we crossed paths during the interview. I also looked over my résumé to make sure I was prepared to discuss any of my past experiences.

  One part of my résumé made me a little nervous. Back in college I worked for South Carolina’s junior United States Senator, Fritz Hollings. I sort of backed into the job. One of the girls in my sorority worked for him, but she had to give up the job the next semester because it conflicted with her schedule. When she asked if anyone wanted the job I immediately raised my hand. Since I planned on a career in journalism, I thought working for a senator would give me some great experience. I was right. I worked in his local South Carolina office answering the phone, helping constituents, opening mail, and clipping news articles I thought the senator might be interested in reading. Working for him taught me a lot about government, and the job paid well. However, when my conservative grandfather, Pop, found out I was working for a Democrat, he said to me in that grandfather tone of voice, “Honey, I wouldn’t tell a soul.” That story still makes me laugh.

  I didn’t hide the fact that I worked for a senator. It was right there on my résumé. However, I did not include the senator’s name or party affiliation. It’s not that I was ashamed of the work I did. I simply did not want anyone to prejudge me based on my former boss’s politics. Now, all these years later, I hoped the question wouldn’t come up in my Fox News interview for the same reason. Looking back over that line of my résumé, I decided that if the question did come up, I’d tell the story, including my grandfather’s line, and leave it at that.

  After going back over my résumé and trying to prepare for any question I might be asked, I tried to calm myself and get some sleep. Before turning out the light I called the front desk for a wake-up call, set the alarm on the alarm clock in the room, and gave myself plenty of time to get ready without being rushed.

  The next morning I spent time alone with God in prayer then watched the news while I did my hair and makeup. I felt nervous but excited. I also felt very confident that whatever God wanted was going to happen. If He wanted me to have the job, I’d get it. If He didn’t, then He’d make that clear as well. I knew I had to be as prepared as I possibly could be for whatever opportunity God had in mind. Some might mistake my surrender to the will of God as some kind of fatalism, where God’s going to do what God is going to do no matter what I do. That is not a biblical idea. God has gifted each one of us with talents and abilities that He wants us to use for His glory. We must do everything we can to develop these gifts and then leave the results up to Him. That’s how I felt when I walked out of my hotel on the morning of September 22, 2006. I had tried to be as prepared for this moment as I possibly could be. The rest was up to God.

  I walked to the Fox News building from my hotel. I signed in and went through security. The officer directed me to the elevator bank and told me to go to the second floor. I found the elevator I needed to take but then I ran into a problem. There wasn’t an “up” button. Instead there was a keypad. I had no idea what to do. As I stood staring at the keypad trying to figure out how to get to the second floor, Steve Doocy walked by. He looked up at me, smiled, and said hi. I was so impressed that one of the stars of the network was so friendly. I said hi back. He was the first on-air person I met at Fox News and now he is my co-anchor.

  About that time someone else came over to the elevator. “Here, I’ll help you,” he said. “I know these are different, and if you aren’t from New York, you’ve probably never seen them before.” I think my lingering southern accent gave me away. He said, “What floor are you going to?”

  I said, “The second floor.” I watched as he pushed in the number 2 and waited. Then a letter popped on the screen directing me to the H elevator. I got on the elevator marked H and thanked the man for his help and went up to meet the Executive Vice President Head of Programming.

  When I reached the second floor, a man was sitting behind the reception desk and he i
ntroduced himself as John. “He will be with you in just a minute,” he said.

  After what seemed like an eternity but was actually only a minute or two, the EVP’s assistant came out and invited me to follow her into his office. I took a seat on a chair in front of his desk and he took a seat behind the desk. He introduced himself, and then the number two programming executive also came in. They talked to me about Fox News and what they were looking for in the next employee. The entire time I sat with them I continued praying, Lord, give me the right words. At the same time they didn’t ask me what I thought they were going to ask. Because the interview did not go the way I had imagined it should, I kept thinking to myself, You have blown it, Ainsley. You are not getting this job.

  Finally they asked if I would like to see the facility and, of course, I did. Everything kind of ran together in my mind, but I do remember standing with the EVP watching a live broadcast of Bill Hemmer anchoring the America’s Newsroom show. Watching Bill took me right back to my days of working late nights in Columbia. I loved a show on CNN with Bill and Anderson Cooper. Talk about full circle, I thought.

  At the end of the interview, I met with Roger Ailes in his corner office overlooking the Avenue of the Americas in midtown Manhattan. I looked out at the flags flying along the avenue and my mind raced back to all the movies I’d watched that were set in New York. So many showed scenes of Rockefeller Center or Sixth Avenue—right outside the window. Watching those movies, I used to envision myself walking down these streets, in a navy suit, my high heels clicking, and carrying my briefcase on my way to my corner office. Now here I was hoping to be in the building permanently. Across from me sat one of the most powerful men in television news. All I could think was, How did I get here? It had to be God.

  Many allegations about Roger Ailes have come out in recent years, allegations that led to his resignation from Fox News in July 2016. I was heartbroken when I heard the charges against him, but more than that, I was shocked. The man described in those charges was not the man I met that first day or the man I got to know at Fox News in the coming years. From the first day I met him, he was always a father figure and a mentor. But clearly that was not the experience other women had with him, and upon hearing their stories, my heart broke for them. I was shocked and saddened, but the man described in those charges was not the man I knew.

  While the allegations against Roger rocked Fox News, we had no idea it was just the beginning of a wave of accusations that would sweep up men throughout media—from Hollywood figures like Harvey Weinstein to morning show presences like Matt Lauer. As a result, we’ve all had to struggle to reconcile these public figures with their private transgressions. This is especially true when we know the men being accused. At least, it was for me.

  Of course, all this was years in the future during my first meeting with Roger Ailes, and nothing could have been further from my mind. Indeed that first meeting set the tone for our relationship the entire time I worked for him. He started off asking about me. He asked what my parents were like and how I got into this profession. He wanted to know who my heroes were and what my goals were. He also asked about my journey as a journalist and how I had come to live in San Antonio.

  At the end of our half hour together I looked at him and said, “Roger, you are a legend in this profession and I will always be grateful for the time you are giving me. You are such a busy man and I can’t thank you enough for just sitting down with ME. I don’t know if you will hire me, but I just want you to know that if you do or if you do not, I know I will be in the place God wants me to be.” Then I added, “And I hope it is here.”

  “I want to see your tape,” Roger said. “If your tape is good, then I think I can find a place for you here.”

  “That would be wonderful, sir. Thank you,” I said.

  As I walked out all I could think was, Wow, God, you are so good. One minute I wasn’t sure I was making a good impression and then the next minute I was walking out of the CEO’s office feeling confident. I reminded myself to just give it to God and trust Him.

  On my flight back to San Antonio I took out my journal and wrote:

  Dear Father, today goes down in history. I interviewed at Fox News today and had the time of my life. Thank you, thank you for the amazing opportunity. I met some of your most talented children, the best of the best, and I am honored. At the end of the day and at the end of my life my family is most important. You are my Father and that will never change. I am so grateful. Again, God, thank you. I love you and want to honor you. Please put me where you can use me the most. September 22, 2006.

  Now, if life were a movie, my phone would ring as soon as I walked into my home in San Antonio. Roger Ailes would be on the other end. “Ainsley, we want you to come work for us right away,” he would say. But life, unlike a movie, doesn’t happen in two hours. The waiting was difficult, but I was sustained by prayer.

  In the meantime, the ABC affiliate station in Washington, D.C., contacted my agent about me. I flew out to Washington for multiple interviews with the news director, Bill Lord. The interviews went well and I thought D.C. could be a real possibility, but no offer came in. Instead I waited to hear back from Mr. Lord or Fox News or maybe someone someplace else entirely, and learn what God had in store for me.

  September turned into October. My agent called Fox News and asked for an update. They told him that they really liked me but that they were still going through the interview process with other candidates. “We love Ainsley. She’s still in the running. We just need a few more weeks,” they said. A few weeks later my agent called again only to hear the same thing. I prayed and prayed for God’s will to be done, but I wanted to know what that will was as soon as possible. My husband and I talked about which we’d prefer, New York or Washington. He preferred D.C., but was really fine with either as long as I didn’t have to work weekends. I had anchored the weekend news briefly in Columbia while we were dating, and the hours put a strain on our relationship. The truth was that I didn’t really have to go to either New York or Washington. I still had another year on my contract at KENS. The morning news show was number one in the market, which meant I could probably stay there as long as I wanted.

  I was anxious to hear back from Fox News, but I was learning my first lesson about corporate America. The hiring process takes forever. Nothing ever happens quickly. I had to tell myself over and over, “Welcome to the big time, Ainsley, you small-town southern girl. This isn’t Columbia anymore.”

  Finally, in November 2006, I heard back from Fox News. They made an offer and started contract negotiations with my agent. They wanted me to anchor the overnight news cut-ins. It was not a glamorous position but it was an opportunity to start out at the bottom with a national news network. I thought about my grandfather, Pop, who worked his way up from the bottling floor at Coca-Cola to become vice president of the Greenville plant. His experience taught me that where you start is not where you end up. If you want more, you have to work hard and wait for the opportunity from God. That’s what I intended to do. I decided to take the job. I was still in consideration for the 5 P.M. anchor position in D.C. and I thought it was proper to call Bill Lord and tell him to take my name off the list. I was being scooped up by Fox News, yet grateful even to be considered in Washington. When I told Bill my decision he said, “I’ve now lost two women to Fox News.” The other was Megyn Kelly.

  The hardest part of making the move to Fox News was, once again, telling a boss I admired and enjoyed working for that I was moving on to a different news outlet. I worked out the contract details with Fox News right before Thanksgiving and I wanted to tell Kurt Davis, my news director, of my decision before he left for the holiday. I had a plan. I called him and said, “I have a cheesecake for you and your family that I want to bring over for you to enjoy.” Bad news is always delivered best with desserts.

  “Ainsley, we’re actually on the road right now on our way to Louisiana for the holiday. Just put the cheesecake in the freezer
and we’ll enjoy it at Christmas. You’re sweet to do that,” Kurt said. I had missed my opportunity to get this news off my chest because I wasn’t going to “break up with him” over the phone. When I told him after Thanksgiving, he and the general manager, Bob McGann, took me out to dinner and tried to talk me out of my decision. “Whatever they’re paying you, we’ll match it,” Kurt said.

  “It’s not the money,” I replied. “I feel like this is an opportunity I cannot pass up.”

  “But you’ll be doing headlines overnight,” Kurt said. He shook his head. “Are you sure you want to do this?” Even my co-anchor at the time had said something like he’d never take a job at the national level if he had to do overnights.

  In spite of that, I told Kurt, “I’ve had the best experience here and you’ve been so good to me, but God has made it crystal clear to me that this is where I’m supposed to go and I am going to follow Him.” I was certain it was the right course. Not only did I believe it was God’s plan, but I had always wanted to live in New York and work at the national level. Now I’d found my chance to do both at the same time. And, of course, I wanted to make more money and the offer was better than my current salary. Plus, it was just a quick, direct flight from New York to South Carolina to see family.

  I left that dinner thinking about what they’d said about overnights. That didn’t bother me. I was determined to work hard and work my way up. I knew God had big plans for me, and those plans were going to be realized in New York.

  9

  Back at the Bottom

  Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good?

  —1 PETER 3:13

  WHEN I TOOK the overnight reporter position at Fox News I never thought one year later I’d find myself staring out the door of a plane, twelve thousand feet above the ground, strapped to an army officer, and wearing a parachute.