by Jenn Vakey
And Maizie clearly wasn’t understanding what I was trying to get at.
“What happened in the past between us is best left there,” I said, trying to be as gentle as possible. “I’m really glad I was wrong about what I thought happened to you. You were always one of my best friends, and I would love to have that again. But only our friendship.”
She released her shirt and let it fall back into place as she took in what I was saying. After a few moments, she smiled and gave one of those carefree shrugs she was always so good at. “No worries. If that’s all you want right now, then friends it is.”
I didn’t bother correcting her as I turned back to my work and listened to her walk away. She just needed time to understand that that’s all I could ever give her now.
CHAPTER NINE
LEEYA
Chickens were strange looking creatures. They were also loud and fast.
I loved it.
I was glad that Aarys had brought us back into camp with enough time to shower off before lunch. We’d had to move several of the chickens into a separate small house from where they were being kept so they could breed with the rooster. It hadn’t been as easy as Aarys first made it sound. That meant getting hands on and picking out specific chickens for the rooster she had selected.
I had questioned how successful this would all be with the upcoming cold weather, but apparently it was a situation they were well prepared for. The little house they were moved into was warm, and Aarys said it would be a good environment for the chicks when they hatched.
I took the seat next to Rhydian when I reached the lunch table. He looked up and greeted me with a smile that made my insides do a funny little flip. It wasn’t a sensation I had ever remembered feeling before, but I didn’t dislike it.
“How were the chickens?” he asked.
I smiled back. “Entertaining.”
“Good. As long as you aren’t thinking about taking one back to the dorm with you.”
That was something I hadn’t even considered. Between the look he was giving me and the snort of a laugh from Aarys, it did leave me wondering if it was something the old me might have done. Surely not.
“Noella assured me you’ll be cleared to start training again tomorrow,” he said, not waiting for me to respond. “Excited?”
I hated the hopeful glint in his eye when he asked. Like he was banking on it being the thing that fixed everything. That made me his again. It made me feel guilty. Not just because I knew this entire situation was stressful for him. I was still having a hard time believing all of the things people told me I had been able to do. I didn’t want to have to see that sadness in his eyes again if things didn’t go the way he was hoping they would.
“I’m kind of nervous,” I admitted. I might as well prepare him. Maybe that would make it easier if this idea was a flop. “People keep telling me that I was good at it, and I’m worried I’ll suck.”
Where I expected to see a little disappointment there, he actually smiled. It was a really good look on him, making my stomach jump again. I could definitely understand what I had seen in him. In addition to being kind, the man was gorgeous.
“As the person who actually handled your first training sessions when you got here, I can honestly say that I’ve seen worse,” he said. Surprisingly, he wasn’t lying or saying it just to make me feel better. It did, though. Especially when he continued. “No one expects you to go out there and be able to do what you could before. We just want you to be able to protect yourself if needed. If that means having to start over, then we start over.”
Rhydian shrugged like it really wasn’t a big deal. He was so at ease that it took away most of my remaining tension. That is until movement ahead grabbed his attention. Like a switch had been flipped, his entire body tightened. I looked up to see why and found Maizie dropping into the seat across from me.
“How good does this look? You wouldn’t believe the stuff they had us eating in that place,” she said, not noticing his reaction as she stared down at the plate of food.
I did, though. The conversation from last night came back to mind. Aarys had said Rhydian thought she had been killed. Was it guilt causing his reactions now? Was he blaming himself for her being stuck in the place we had just rescued them from for all this time? It would make sense. From what little my sister had told me, it didn't sound like a pleasant place.
“Are you enjoying being back?” I asked.
Maizie nodded as she took a bite. Then she looked up and smiled in Rhydian’s direction. “It’s good seeing friendly faces again.” Her gaze shifted to Aarys as she sat down beside her, then she turned her focus back to me. “So, how long have you been a proud resident of Alkwin?”
I thought about it for a moment, then laughed. “I have no idea. Rhydian?”
“Six weeks,” he answered for me.
That was… surprising. We had only known each other for a month and a half and we were already engaged? That seemed fast. Then there was what I had overheard from the conversation between Noella and Rhydian. We had apparently had sex several weeks ago too. That wouldn’t have been long after I first met him. Things had moved very fast.
“Dumb question,” Maizie mused. “Sorry.”
I shrugged, shaking off the shock the information had given me. I had no idea what all had happened between the two of us during that time. Maybe that was normal. It was something I would have to find a way to talk to him about.
“It’s okay,” I assured her. “Everyone has been great about telling me things I need to know. Aarys spent the morning filling me in on the basics for surviving here.”
“Little Aarys?” Maizie asked, looking between the two of us in an amused sort of way. “Are you the go-to person around here now?”
“Not so little anymore, Maizie,” Aarys said into her plate, then turned a look on her that was anything but friendly. “A lot of things have changed while you’ve been gone. Haven’t you figured that out yet?”
Despite her harsh tone, Maizie just shrugged it off as if she really were dealing with a child. That rubbed me wrong. Aarys had been nothing but nice to me. Not in a way that made me feel like she was coddling me. More like a friend. A real friend.
“Doesn’t seem like all that much has changed,” Maizie said.
Aarys smiled and looked back to her lunch. “Then you haven’t been paying close enough attention.”
Before either of them could do or say something to make the rising tension even greater, a pair of hands dropped down onto my shoulders. I tensed almost instinctively, then turned and looked back at the source to find Paxton smiling down at me.
Paxton and I hadn’t spent any time alone together, but he was almost always around when Lillith was. Like Aarys, he didn’t treat me like I was broken. I appreciated it.
“I’ve been asked by a very peppy eight-year-old to ask you if it’s okay if Kip has his daily treat early today. And since I couldn’t tell her that you wouldn’t know, I had to at least make it look like I was following her orders.”
That made me smile. Paxton was a big guy. The idea of him being ordered around by a child was beyond comical. Even if she was a princess. Something I did know that he was aware of.
As far as his question, I had no idea. I looked to Rhydian.
“Tell Linley he can wait until dinner like he always does,” he answered for me.
Paxton smirked and squeezed my shoulders, then turned and walked off. When I turned back around, I was met by a curious look from Maizie.
“Linley doesn’t know about the amnesia,” I explained. “We didn’t want to worry her.”
That did nothing to lessen the look.
“Who’s that?” she asked, ignoring what I had said entirely. “Your boyfriend?”
Like with so many other things, I had no idea what she was talking about. Paxton was a guy, and I knew that we had been friends practically our entire lives. That said, I had a feeling the word she used was meant for something else entirely.
>
Once again, I looked to Rhydian. Unlike before, he didn’t meet my eye. Instead, he looked almost bothered by the question. His focus stayed on his plate, pushing his food around with his fork instead of eating it. I wanted to question it, but he stopped me with his response.
“It’s a term similar to courting.”
“Oh,” I said, surprised. Shaking my head, I looked back to Maizie. “Then no. I guess he could be my sister’s boyfriend. We’re just friends.”
She nodded and went back to her food. I took advantage of her distraction and glanced back toward Rhydian. I had a feeling my current state was getting to him more than he was showing. I couldn’t imagine how hard it was for him that I couldn’t remember what we had had. Even more so when someone brought up the possibility of me being with someone else. Maybe I should talk to him about that. I might not remember him, or feel anything like I could only imagine I had before, but that didn’t mean I was going to just pretend it hadn’t been there. Definitely not to the point that I would pursue something with someone else.
Not if it would mean hurting him when I knew he was doing everything he could to support me.
My attention was pulled from him again when another guy sat down at our table, taking the empty seat at Maizie’s other side. He greeted me with a wide, friendly smile. I hadn’t been introduced to him, but I did remember seeing him. He was the guy Rhydian had been training yesterday.
“Hey, Leeya,” he said, almost excitedly. “How are you feeling?”
Even though I didn’t think it was possible, Rhydian’s mood managed to drop even more. He shifted around, actually causing his leg to brush against mine.
“Okay, I guess,” I answered, shrugging. “I’m still a little sore. I guess that’s what happens when you get blown up, though.”
He nodded as if he understood, although I had a feeling he couldn’t possibly have. From what I had seen yesterday, the guy was new to the fighting thing. I wouldn’t imagine that would leave him in a position to really be injured the way I had.
“I’m free for the next few hours,” he said. “Do you feel like going for a walk?”
“Leeya’s on gardening duty after lunch,” Rhydian said before I could answer. His tone was colder now, his words abrupt. It was enough to send a shiver up my spine, though I couldn’t understand it. It wasn’t fear. Strangely, it registered more as amusement. Maybe even pleasure.
That didn’t make sense.
While the guy didn’t react to Rhydian’s harshness, there was no hiding the disappointment the statement caused. It almost appeared like he had been looking forward to spending some time with me. That made me feel bad, because I couldn’t even remember his name. I was certain Linley had said it, but I had been too focused on the training at the time.
Given his reaction, along with Rhydian’s, I was clearly missing something here.
“I’ll cover for her,” Maizie offered. “Surely no one could blame her for taking a day off. Noella would probably be thrilled if she relaxed some.”
Did he just… growl? It was so low that no one else had picked it up, but I could swear that Rhydian actually growled at her suggestion. He didn’t respond, though. I glanced over quickly, sure I had just imagined it, only to find his jaw clenched so tightly that I actually feared he might break a tooth. He was definitely working hard to keep from saying something.
“No, Rhydian’s right,” I said, knowing I needed to take his side in this. He obviously knew more about this situation than I did. I might not remember him, but I could feel that I trusted him. “I need to keep my schedule as close to as it was before. It’ll give me the best chance of getting my memories back.”
From the corner of my eye, I watched as Rhydian took his first bite since everyone had joined us. I had apparently made the right decision in his eyes.
This was so confusing.
“I could join you then,” the guy said, perking up. “I was a Grower in Eden.”
“If you want,” I shrugged again. “Rhydian is my guard for the next few hours. He’s going to be spending the time filling me in on what I’ve been up to since coming here.”
I turned toward him with a sweet smile and found him fighting back a smirk. Not only was that not something we had discussed, but he wasn’t actually supposed to be my guard after lunch. I had a feeling Lillith wouldn’t mind switching. She had been not so subtly pushing me toward Rhydian, insisting that I wouldn’t have been engaged to him if he wasn’t the guy for me.
I might have been smiling, but I had a feeling he knew what it was I wasn’t saying. Whether he wanted to or not, he was going to spend my after lunch garden time telling me what it was that I was clearly missing with all of this.
“You have to have a guard?” Maizie asked, confused.
“For the time being,” I answered. “I don’t mind it. I like the company, and I can always sneak away when I want quiet time.”
I meant for it to sound like a joke, but Rhydian was quick to respond.
“Like you did yesterday when you went to the river?”
My face reddened, despite my efforts to hide it. I could hear the teasing note in his voice even without looking at him. At least he wasn’t upset. Still, I hadn’t thought anyone knew. I had told Noella I was leaving to meet my sister, so no one questioned it.
Apparently I was wrong.
“Sorry,” Maizie said quickly, meeting my look with wide eyes. “I had no idea I would be getting you in trouble when I mentioned it to him.”
I waved her concern away, knowing he was teasing me more than anything. “It’s something Orson wants. It’s just until I get back to training. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”
“You should see Leeya fight,” the guy said.
Alister! That was his name. Linley had mentioned that he wanted me to teach him to fight. Maybe that explained why he was so friendly. The way he was almost bragging definitely made it sound like he thought a lot of my abilities. Hopefully he wouldn’t be too disappointed if I wasn’t still at that level.
“Rhydian was telling me that you enjoyed it,” she said with a warm smile. “Maybe we’ll have to spar when you get back into it. I might be a little rusty, though.”
Her words struck me. She was lying. Not about Rhydian telling her. Gryffin had said something similar. She hadn’t been telling the truth about being rusty. It seemed like a strange thing not to be honest about. Unless she was just being modest. Or maybe she saw me as some injured thing, and she was planning to go easy on me to make me feel better.
That would actually be more insulting than anything else. I wasn’t a child. I didn’t need people taking it easy. Wasn’t that the opposite of trying to teach me to defend myself?
“Well, I can’t even remember how to fight, so you don’t have anything to worry about,” I said, choosing just to let it go. She was probably just trying to be friendly.
“It will be a while before Leeya can spar with anyone,” Rhydian said tightly. “She has to have Noella clear it.”
I glanced over and found him staring at his plate again. I could see the worry there. I knew what he was thinking about. The conversation he had had with Noella yesterday. He didn’t know that there wasn’t a risk of me being injured like that anymore. It was already too late. It was also something I had been trying to keep myself from thinking about. It was just too much.
“I may not remember my Healer training, but even I know fighting anyone in the shape I’m in right now wouldn’t be a great idea,” I said simply. “Maybe in a couple weeks.”
Maizie smiled and nodded.
“My bet’s on Leeya winning that one,” Alister said cheerfully. “She’s amazing.”
Feigning insult, Maizie placed her hand on her chest and turned toward Alister. “You think a girl who’s only been fighting for six weeks could beat me?” She turned toward Rhydian, eyeing him like she was expecting him to dispute Alister’s statement.
Instead, he shrugged. “Sorry, Maizie. Leeya can take me
down half of the time when she’s at the top of her game. She handles bastons like she’s been using them for years.”
“Yep,” Aarys agreed quickly. “I’m the only person here she isn’t at least evenly matched with, and that’s not because of her skill level.”
Rhydian grunted like he agreed, shooting me a serious look. “You’re not allowed to spar with Aarys until I say otherwise.”
I looked between the two of them for an explanation. Aarys was young, and a little smaller than I was. They were making it sound like she was even better than Rhydian. Before I could ask, though, I was distracted by the look on Maizie’s face as she stared back at Rhydian. She looked almost hurt that he hadn’t taken her side. Maybe even that he had, in a way, agreed that the young Aarys was better than she was.