“Are you all right?” Charlie huffs while trying to take deep breaths after his sprint through the circuit. Shane is making us do it in twos so we can race the other person. I always lose at it, but it’s nice to have a break while the others race. Although, right now I should be doing sit ups and pushups. Since it’s at my own pace I usually take it easy, ignoring everyone around me who is going at it like they’re in the Olympics.
“I’m fine.” I lean down onto my back and then sit up quickly, hoping my lie won’t be noticed.
“You’re not. What’s wrong?” Charlie sits next to me, slowly making the same movements I am.
“I’m just tired.”
“Are you saying we should have a rest from our exploring?” He grins at me, sitting up and resting his arms over his knees as he looks down at me.
“No.” I smile back at him, hoping we won’t ever have to give that up, even though I know we will. My smile falters. “I’m just tired of training.”
“Is that why you seem distracted? I’ve noticed it since we got back from solitary confinement. Are you sure you’re telling me everything that happened?”
Oh, no, danger zone. If Charlie connects my mood and then me leaving, it might ruin his chance of being free. I need to fix this, immediately.
“It’s my birthday tomorrow. A year since Dana’s death.” Even though that too has been playing on my mind, I feel like shit that I just used her death as an excuse for something, even if it hopefully will help save Charlie.
His eyes soften immediately and I know he believes me. “I’m sorry. I should have realized your birthday was coming up.” He reaches out and touches my cheek lightly. “Anniversaries are hard. I won’t lie and tell you they’re any easier or the same as any other day. It’s important you remember the good times. Make it an anniversary that you focus on what you had. Don’t remember that last birthday, but the ones before it.”
“I’ll try,” I whisper, the breath suddenly disappearing from my lungs.
“Don’t worry. I’ll be here for you.” He digs the knife in harder. Will I be here for him? “I guess that means our anniversary is coming up.” He smiles at me again, but I can tell this time he’s putting his smile on. He’s trying to cheer me up.
“Our anniversary?” I ask him, willing to go along with this and try to forget about how hard tomorrow is going to be. “Which one?”
“What do you mean which one? The one where we met!” Charlie fakes being offended, although his smile breaking through ruins it for him.
“Oh, so not the one where I punched you in the face? Or the one where you slammed a door into my head?” I joke.
“Smartass.” He rolls his eyes at me. “No, but it is also the anniversary of our first night together where you drooled all over me.”
“I did not drool all over you!” I smile, remembering the feeling of waking up next to Charlie that first night. I even recall that fear going through my mind before I remembered that Drew was deceased on my bed.
“I think you might have.” He laughs now. My breath catches, wondering how many more laughs we’ll get to spend together.
“I love you, Charlie,” I blurt out, wishing I could tell him that every minute of every day.
He stops laughing. After giving me a scrutinizing look, he shrugs at me. “I suppose I love you, too.”
“Hey!” I push him hard and he rolls to his side laughing.
“Kidding, kidding. I love you with all my heart.” He sits up and holds his hand over his chest as if to promise it to me.
I smile at his antics, although I feel a small part of my heart breaking, preparing itself to be shattered at any moment. Just as I picture in my mind a heart being smashed to pieces, a voice calling out Will’s name has my blood draining and my heart freezing in my chest.
“Parker, get over here now,” Shane calls out. I look up at him and see him standing next to Talon. In the distance, I notice Frank walking towards us as well. This is not good. I’m not ready yet. It’s not time.
“Ouch,” Charlie hisses. I look down and realize my hand is gripping his tightly, my nails digging into his flesh. I forcibly loosen my grip, but I know it’s not by much.
“Sorry.” I watch Will slowly making his way to Shane and Talon before his shoulders drop and he begins to walk away with him. Rose pounces immediately towards them and Shane holds her back as she tries to take off after Will and Talon. Charlie jumps to his feet to help and, since I’m attached to him, I move with him.
Before we make it over there Frank is standing with Shane and Rose, speaking quietly with them. Shane nods his head once and quickly moves away, letting Rose go and then yelling at everyone to pick up speed.
Charlie drags me over to Frank and Rose. I hate that Rose appears appeased by whatever Frank has said.
“Frank is going to take you in there with Will and the asshole, to keep an eye on them,” Rose rushes to say, clueless as to what is going to happen.
“Come on, Zoe. I know you don’t want Will left alone. We need to hurry.” His words don’t give anything away, but his eyes tell me it’s time to leave this place, to leave Rose and Charlie.
My hand grips Charlie’s harder. I want more than anything to give him a hug, to kiss him and tell him I will love him forever. I want more than anything one more night with him, even one more hour.
I’m aware that I’ve completely stalled and, just as I notice Rose’s eyes narrowing at my hesitation, I realize I don’t have any choice. I have to leave now or their lives will be in danger.
“Okay, I’ll see you guys later.” I manage to sound normal, I think. I squeeze Charlie’s hand one last time then give Rose a quick smile before I somehow manage to release Charlie’s hand and step towards Frank.
As he hurries our speed along, I have to chant to myself over and over, Don’t look back, to make sure I don’t turn back to see Rose and Charlie. I think I pull every muscle in my neck as I feel them spasm under my skin. Once we’re inside, I quickly race to the first window facing out into the field and look out, disheartened that we’re so far away from them. Although I can tell which ones are Rose and Charlie, I can’t see them as clearly as I want to.
“It’s time?” I whisper, my voice sounding raw already.
“I’m afraid so. We have a few minutes before we need to go. You can stay here a moment to say goodbye.” Frank sounds kind, but his words make me angry.
“Say goodbye to a window? Is that what you did to me and Mom?” I snap at him.
“I had to leave you, Zoe, and I’ll forever be sorry for that. Just like you have to leave now, too.”
“So I guess I’m not any better than you. I’m faking my death and in the process I’m going to hurt the ones I love the most. Charlie, Rose and Mom. Hasn’t Mom been through enough? Haven’t the others been through enough?”
“I did what was best for you—”
“How was leaving us what was best?”
“I had to follow my orders. I was getting too close. I needed to step back.”
“Yeah, well, I needed you to step forward. Mom still misses you. She still has a room full of your things. She hasn’t ever been the same since you died. I can count how many smiles I’ve seen on her face with one hand.”
Frank’s face falls and he averts his eyes. “I know she has been sad, but she wasn’t supposed to stay that way. She was meant to move on, to get over me.”
“Well, that might have been easy for you to do, but she loved you. To her, you were her soul mate and no one else could replace you. She’s just going through the motions because she thinks she has to.”
“Your mother loves you, Zoe. She isn’t just going through the motions. She does everything for you.”
“Do you know how many home-cooked meals we’ve had together over the years? Or how many nights I’ve gone to bed before she even got home from work? How many conversations we’ve had that have lasted more than five minutes?”
“She’s been a good mother to you,” Frank says
defensively.
“Look, I know she’s done the best she can. I had a roof over my head, food in the fridge and money to buy whatever I needed. I’m not saying she doesn’t love me. I’m just saying that you broke her heart. When you died, a big part of her died too. When you died, I lost you both.”
Frank clears his throat, quickly moving away from me and the window as he begins to pace backwards and forwards behind me. “I was ordered to leave you, to test out your theory and I didn’t want to. Of course I didn’t want to leave you, but what was the alternative? Actually allow one of your friends to be killed?”
“Just because you followed your orders doesn’t mean it was the right thing to do.”
“There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about you or your mother. I’m proud of what you’ve achieved in your life. I’m proud of you.”
I hold back tears and try not to reveal the shake in my body as I want to break down. I hate myself that those words matter to me. Frank is dead to me. His words shouldn’t mean this much, not now.
“I wish I could be proud of you, but what have you done for me to be proud of? You tricked my mother into marrying you, you made me think you would always be there for me, you allowed this cruel and sick place to monitor and take me, and now you’re taking me away from people I love. I didn’t think I could hate you any more, but I do. You aren’t helping America. All the sacrifices you made aren’t worth anything. You betrayed your country. You experimented on pregnant women and took advantage of their misfortune. You have now stolen their children away and forced us into a life of war and fighting. And who are we at war with? Who are we fighting? Who cares, right? As long as Stan and Martha get paid. Whatever you think this place is, it’s the opposite.” I take deep breaths, trying to calm myself down.
“Zoe—”
“No, I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to hear from you anymore. I get that this needs to be done. I understand that Charlie and Rose are about to become free and I’m happy for them. I want them to be safe and to be able to go back home. But you know what? It’s not fair. It’s not fair that Will is still forced into this life. It’s not fair that Blake doesn’t get to go home to his family and girlfriend, and it’s not fair that I can’t even see my best friend’s grave to say a proper goodbye. I can’t make sure Drew is okay, even though he’s always been there for me. It’s not fair that just when I find love, it gets ripped away from me. So whatever you have to say, just don’t.”
Frank stops pacing, my words seeming to be like physical punches to him. I look away, not bothering to take pleasure in the pain I’ve caused him. I look back over to where I can see Charlie doing sit ups. This time, I can’t hold back tears.
“I know this might seem hard to believe now, but one day you will meet someone new and you’ll fall in love again.”
“It might have been easy for you to get over Mom, but I know I won’t ever get over Charlie.”
“You’re young—”
“I don’t care what you say, you have no idea how I feel about Charlie. Your words mean nothing to me!” I yell at him.
There is silence for a long time before Frank speaks again. “I never got over your mother. There has been no one since her, and there won’t be.”
“Good. If she’s going to be miserable, then you should be, too.”
“Holloway, hurry the fuck up.” Stan’s voice booms into the silence. At first I think he’s yelling at me, but I turn and watch Frank’s body straighten as determination crosses his face.
“We’re on our way,” he says to him before turning back to me. “Time to go, kiddo.” His face stays grave.
I look once more at Charlie before I force my legs to walk passed Frank and over to where Stan has just been. I picture in my mind the scene that I had already watched, the one where Charlie is trying to get through to me.
“You’re faking our deaths?” I ask Frank, hating that I need to speak to him to get answers.
“Yes. We have gotten several bodies from the local morgue. Your dental records have been fabricated to match the body that you will be assigned.”
“What about Rose and Charlie? What’s to stop them from shouting to the world about this place?”
“Stan is going to be arrested in front of them, and a government official will act as though this place has been dismantled and taken down. It should be enough to appease them.”
We walk in silence until I see a van around the back of the mansion. “You’re going to burn the place down, right?”
“Yes.” Frank glances at me in surprise.
“Then can you do one thing for me? Please make sure someone holds back Charlie and Rose. If they see a burning building and think Will and I are trapped, the fire isn’t going to stop them.”
“Yes, I promise.”
I want to snort at his words, tell him his promises mean nothing to me, but I hold it in. I need him to do this for me. Antagonizing him won’t help that to happen. In fact, in my future dream, people had been trying to drag Charlie back. Maybe Frank’s promise is why they’re there.
“What’s going on?” Will is already sitting in the back of the van.
I quickly hop in next to him. “I’m so sorry, Will. I wasn’t allowed to tell you earlier. We’re being moved.”
“They’re splitting us up?” When his eyes widen in anger, I feel energy bouncing off from him.
“No, they’re letting Rose and Charlie go back home on the condition that we don’t cause them any further problems.”
“Seriously?” His mouth drops open in shock.
“Yes. It was either that, or we all stay stuck at P.A.G.E. together.”
He stays silent, considering my words carefully. “How do you know they won’t get dragged back into this? That they’re not just messing with you?”
“My dreams will be our insurance.”
The van starts moving. I turn back and look out the window, watching The Mansion get smaller and smaller.
My tears start up then, and soon I’m sobbing uncontrollably. I hide my face in Will’s shoulder, feeling more hollow the further away from Charlie I go.
***
Its hours before we finally stop at our next destination. I’ve cried the entire time, and I’m pretty sure Will dozed through a lot of it. I can tell he feels awkward that I just leaned on his shoulder and cried for hours on end, but I couldn’t bring myself to move away from him. He’s my one hope right now, my one link to Rose and Charlie. He’s the one person who knows exactly how I’m feeling, and now the one person I haven’t lost.
“We’re here,” Frank announces from the front passenger seat next to a man I’ve never seen before who is driving. Thankfully, Stan isn’t in our van. I’m not sure I could have handled seeing him.
My side door opens and I step out, expecting it was Frank who opened my door, but find someone else instead.
“Hello, and welcome to The Ranch.” Ocean appears at the door. Before I can react, he wraps me in a hug, holding me tightly in his arms. “Thank you for saving my life. I owe you one.” He pulls back and smiles appreciatively.
“Um, you’re welcome.” I feel uncomfortable. I wipe my eyes again, hoping it isn’t too obvious I’ve been sobbing for the past several hours. Even though my chest aches and my brain feels scattered, I know I need to try and push the pain away. This is my life now, and there isn’t any need to be the scary, sobbing chick that makes everyone feel awkward.
“Ocean, what are you doing out here?” Frank grunts at him, clearly annoyed. He stands beside us, crossing his arms over his chest.
“I thought I would personally welcome our new guests, sir.” Ocean shrugs at him, but I feel him stiffen as he lets me go and straightens up.
“It’s past curfew; you should be in your quarters. See me tomorrow morning for your punishment.” Frank sounds cold and angry.
“What the hell?” I hiss at Frank, unable to stop myself from talking to him. I don’t want to ever have to speak to Frank again, b
ut apparently, I’m happy to still snap at him. I know he’s being an asshole because of our argument earlier, and no doubt because of the hug he just witnessed Ocean giving me.
“Get them inside and show them the kitchens. They need some dinner,” he relents, giving me a piercing stare, which I ignore, before he finally leaves us.
“Yes, sir.” Ocean nods to his retreating back and then holds out his arm playfully for me to take. I do it just to annoy Frank, who I imagine is managing to keep an eye on me.
“I’ve been so excited for your arrival. When Dwells showed up a couple of weeks ago and we were told you were coming, too, I couldn’t wait to finally thank you. The doctors said if it had been even a few more minutes without medical attention, I wouldn’t have made it.”
“Blake is here?” I knew he had been captured. Now I’m eager to see him. I might not have known him for long before we separated, and sure our first meeting had him bashing my head into the floor, and our second meeting had him pulling a knife to me, however I still want to see him. He’s another ally who understands what P.A.G.E. really is.
“Yeah, I saw him sneaking out after me. I bet he’s already waiting for us inside.”
“Is he okay?”
“He’s fine. Had a few fights with a new guy here, but so have a lot of people. He’s handled himself well.”
I take in this new information, moving through the darkened hallways with Ocean leading us. The place is too dark to get much feeling from it, but it’s smaller than I imagined.
“How many people are here?”
“Maybe twenty? We’ve just had an influx of people coming in. I think a few are leaving soon for a mission.”
“Mission? What mission?” Nerves set in. I fear what he will tell me will add to my nightmares. What horrors will P.A.G.E. be committing next?
“They don’t advertise missions.” Ocean shrugs. I glance quickly at Will to see if he’s as horrified as I am about it, but he doesn’t even appear to be listening.
“How long have you been here for? And where is here?”
Taken By Choice (Taken Trilogy Book 3) Page 23