Unfortunately, someone has heard our commotion. The door opposite to where I just came from opens wide and someone steps out, most likely a man from the tall frame and wide chest. I hear heated words being whispered as Maggie steps towards him.
I straighten up, my legs a bit shaky from the knock against the wall. I step towards Maggie, not ready for this to be over.
She appears to be even angrier, but after what I think is a glare at me, she storms away from us.
The man turns around to face me and steps closer to me. I don’t feel any threat from him, and as he stands in front of me, I’m surprised by who it is.
“Ethan?” I’m breathing heavily. Part of me wants nothing more than to go back and demand Maggie finish what she started. My admission to her and her taunting of Charlie has me riled up. Was she telling me the truth? Was Charlie really that distraught? Have we done the right thing by leaving them?
I take a step back as the need for fresh air presses down on me again, but his words stop me.
“Hold up, Holloway, just take a breather.”
“What are you doing here?” I demand, my anger already beginning to ebb away while some is being redirected at Ethan.
“I was moved here a few days ago.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. I get moved all the time.” He shrugs like it’s not a big deal.
He’s obviously been moved so they could keep him with P.A.G.E. I suppose this prevents him from having to answer any awkward questions, or having him ask any questions that he shouldn’t.
“Right.” I try to walk passed him, but he steps in my way.
“Where are you going?”
“None of your business. Move out of my way.”
“The last time we spoke you had just tried to escape. How do I know you’re not doing that now?” He crosses his arms over his chest, but he doesn’t appear to think I’m a threat to him. That makes me even angrier.
I fist my hands, hoping to expel some of my anger. “Because if I do try to escape, then I’ll be putting a target on Charlie or Rose’s back, and while you might be fine with killing innocent people, I’m not. So don’t worry; I’ll stay in line,” I spit out at him, rage building up inside of me.
“What are you talking about?” He genuinely sounds confused.
When he reaches out to touch my arm to stop me from moving passed him, I snap. I take my already fisted hand and punch him hard in his stomach, forcing his hand to release me as he crouches over in pain.
“Don’t touch me. You made your feelings pretty clear about whose side you’re on. It’s not mine, so we have nothing left to talk about.”
I storm passed him, ignoring him when he calls out that I have it all wrong. I don’t have it all wrong. In fact, this is completely clear. Stay in line, or Charlie and Rose’s lives are over. Okay, so maybe they won’t get killed. Maybe they’ll just be brought back into P.A.G.E.’s clutches, but that is as good as dead. I’m serving a life sentence. There is no need for them to have to be stuck here, too.
I step out into the cool morning air outside, seeing the sun in the distance beginning to rise. This day is already unbearable and it’s only just starting. How am I supposed to get through this?
My conscience starts to nag at me over yelling and punching Ethan. It’s true that he’s blindly following P.A.G.E., and maybe the fact that he isn’t questioning their morals makes him just as guilty, yet does he deserve for me to be so hard on him? He’s been raised his whole life to follow orders, he’s not programed to ask questions. He doesn’t know about the experiments, he doesn’t know how deep this goes. If he knew that we were all illegally tested on, that unborn babies were killed as a result of what they’ve done, then maybe he wouldn’t follow so blindly. Maybe then he would realize how bad P.A.G.E. really is. Then what?
Right now he thinks he’s serving his country. If I show him who P.A.G.E. really is, then I’ll just destroy his life. Even if he deserves to know the truth, what then? He just leaves? Would they even let him? What if he knows too much? What if they kill him if he starts asking questions? I can’t have another death on my conscience. I’ve already got too many as it is.
So what is the point in yelling at him? Making him feel bad? He’s not ever going to know the truth, and I’m not ever going to be able to change this situation. I’m stuck here, so why make everyone else miserable?
“Holloway?” Ethan’s voice sounds hesitant. He appears to be keeping a safe distance between us; however I can’t help the anger that spikes up inside me, feeling like he’s intruding on my space.
“What?” I snap, not turning around to face him properly.
“I’m sorry about Nico and Monty. I heard you were coming here, but not with them. That’s gotta be hard for you. I get that you’re angry. I even understand you being angry at me. You just have to realize that there are consequences for—”
“If you’ve come to lecture me, then get lost right now. I’m seriously not in the mood to hear it,” I cut him off.
“Sorry, I just want to let you know that I’m on your side, too, and even though Nico isn’t here to kick my ass, I still plan on following through on the deal I made with him. I promised to look out for you, so whether you want me around or not, you’re stuck with me.”
I take a deep breath, feeling my anger slowly leaving me again.
“You know that’s not their names. Their names are Charlie and Rose. They didn’t sign up to be soldiers, none of us did. We have no choice in being here. You signed up for this. You want to be here. We were taken forcibly from our homes and told we can’t contact our friends or family or ever go back.”
“They have their reasons for doing that.”
“Stop defending them! At least stop defending them to me. You don’t know the whole story and maybe it’s better that you don’t.”
“It’s you who I think doesn’t understand the whole story. Every single one of us here is trying to protect our country. We’ve chosen to give up our lives to protect innocent people. By you being here, you get to protect your family and friends. That’s a good thing, Holloway.”
I feel myself deflate inside. I have no more fight in me, at least not right now. There won’t ever be a way to get through to Ethan. “Look, I meant what I said before. We don’t have anything to say to each other. If you feel like you need to keep your promise to Charlie, then fine. I can’t stop that. But he never said anything about us talking.”
Ethan appears surprised by my words. “I thought we were friends. I mean, we definitely make a great team. We won the mock mission back at The Mansion.”
“We won because Will let us, not because we actually made a good team. I don’t need any friends, so thanks for helping back there with Maggie. I guess I’ll see you around.” I brush by him and, this time, he lets me go. I feel a pang of guilt at being so blunt with him, but since I’m already feeling pain and guilt over Rose and Charlie, not to mention guilt over the anniversary of Dana’s death, I barely notice it.
***
The rest of my birthday doesn’t improve. Other than a boring, quick tour of this facility, I’m stuck in training. My mood doesn’t change for the rest of the day, and I’m subjected to many glares from both Maggie and Corby, who I bumped into at breakfast. He sneered at me, told me to watch my back and then went to sit with Maggie. Apparently, they hit it off when he arrived here a few days ago; two psychopaths together. How perfect.
I stay close to Will and Blake, but I’m not sure that keeps me away from the attention. As much as Corby hates me, he appears to hate Blake just as much. He might think I was the one to turn him from P.A.G.E., however he knows Blake sided with me, which has been the ultimate betrayal to him. So while he has said he will stop himself from killing me, at least for now while I’m important to P.A.G.E., he has no problem attacking Blake. I watch two fights get broken up, luckily before any permanent damage can be done to Blake. I’m surprised by how well he handles himself, given that Corby is insanel
y strong and fit. In training, they are kept separate at all times.
This place has a lot less security. If Rose were here, I have no doubt we could escape it with no problems. Maybe even without her lock picking, car stealing and kickass skills we might still be able to manage it. I’ve only seen one guard on duty, no cameras and most of their doors appear to be unlocked. We are in the middle of nowhere. Open spaces around us or, at least, no fences that I can see, and further into the distance is a lush forest. Ocean told me we’re somewhere near Atlanta.
I guess since they have Rose and Charlie’s freedom as leverage, they don’t think we’ll do anything stupid. They’d be right, too. There is no way I’m risking that wedding I saw for Rose, or risking Charlie getting that reunion with his dad. Even if I have broken his heart, this is still the right thing. Even if we could get out of here, and somehow warn Charlie and Rose—getting them to safety—all we’ll manage is to be back on the run again. With the locator person Blake spoke of, I don’t think even leaving the country would make a difference. We’d be found eventually. It’s not worth it when Charlie and Rose can have regular, normal lives now.
My tour shows me that this place is small compared to the other places I’ve been to. We have five main areas. Our rooms, which are two large square rooms opposite to each other, just a hallway in-between us. At the moment we have five women and ten men. The next closest large area is the meals area. It has two large tables to sit at, and two large fridges with a food preparation area. There is a cook who prepares our food for us, but he also sometimes trains with us. He doesn’t speak ever; Blake told me he hasn’t said a word to anyone here. They just call him Chef. He’s old, maybe in his fifties, but when he does train with us he’s able to keep up.
The next largest area is where we train inside. There is a gym on one side and three boxing rings set up on the other. This is where we spend most of our time. We also train outside, usually just to run. Apparently, we have to run ten miles a day and, if our trainer feels particularly vindictive, we run twenty. On my birthday, we thankfully only have to run ten. I manage to run most of it without wanting to whine, but the last two nearly kill me inside and it’s only Maggie’s watchful eye that keeps me from saying a word of complaint.
Between the meals area and medical, there are several small offices that always remain locked. I’ve only seen inside one when it was being used as a strategy area for a mission that I’m not privy to. So far, I haven’t seen Spencer, the tracker, or Otis, the teleporter. They’re apparently out on missions of their own.
The last large area is medical. It’s the biggest area here and it appears better stocked than even The Mansion, which is weird given that this place can’t hold as many people. Either a lot of people get hurt here, or I’m missing something.
I did manage to catch Doctor Pratt moving about in there. My mind immediately goes to Ethan, which then reminds me of our fight. He has stayed away from me, which I’m grateful for. Unfortunately, Frank hasn’t.
When he pulls me aside and tries to talk to me again, I‘m definitely not in the mood to deal with him. He even tries to give me a present for my birthday, and I nearly hit him for it. Over ten years of thinking he’s dead with not a single gift, then suddenly he’s alive and back in my life and he thinks he can celebrate my birthday? No way.
The day is long and exhausting. It doesn’t help that I have to go back into my room, knowing Maggie is sleeping only a few feet from me. I never asked what Ethan said to her, but she doesn’t come near me again. Throughout the entire day people are taken away by Martha and don’t come back for hours.
Blake is taken away, but he comes back eventually and doesn’t appear much different. I know he’s angry about being here, and he’s possibly our one loose cannon. Will and I won’t do anything that risks Charlie and Rose’s freedom. Blake doesn’t have the same loyalty to Charlie and Rose as we do, and he doesn’t owe anything to Will or me. With the security being so lax here, I know we’ll have to keep a close eye on him.
When the day is finally over and I’m showered, changed and in my new bed, I close my eyes and think of Dana. I force myself to remember fun sleepovers, hear her laugh and see her smile. I try to remember as many conversations we’ve had together as I can. When my tears start, I focus on Charlie. I remember his touch, the feel of his skin under my fingers, the taste of his lips and the sound of his voice. I let the memories I have of him comfort me.
When I close my eyes, I see him asleep on a bed. He is unshaven and dressed in sweat pants and a rumpled t-shirt. His face is tense, his jaw tight and his hands are fisted up in his sleep. I step over to the bed, lying myself next to him. This is a dream, maybe not even real. Maybe it’s just all in my imagination. I know I’m not real in this, but I lie next to him and reach out, touching his face, letting myself think that I can feel his touch. I whisper his name over and over, moving my hand through his hair. I swear I feel the strands between my fingers. I keep doing this, watching his expression become less harsh as his jaw releases. He brings his hands up next to his side where I am and then they move straight through me. As he mutters my name in his sleep, his plea pulls at my heart. He sounds wistful and sad. My name, just three tiny letters, but I can tell how hurt he is.
I keep my hands moving through his hair, my body close to his and I watch him sleep, not caring if this is real or not. Fake dream or real dream, I’ll take anything that gives me the chance to be close to Charlie.
Chapter 20 – THE MISSION
May 25th
It’s nearing the two month mark of being here. The first few weeks were awful and a bit of a blur. Now I’m stuck in a routine, barely taking note of the time. It doesn’t matter if I’ve been here two months or two years, it still feels like a lifetime away from Charlie.
Two weeks ago we were told we’ll be going on a mission. My first mission. As far as missions go, this one seems legit. We’re flying to England overnight to begin our operation tomorrow night. Our target is a Russian man who has in his possession stolen US military intelligence. We’re shown current and old footage of the man, and while I can’t say he definitely has the information that we’ve been told he has, he definitely isn’t a good guy.
In the archive footage of him we see him murdering a woman and her child. It’s awful, and, even though the image is grainy and old, it’s just as powerful to see. Unfortunately, there are more images of different victims. I know I can’t trust P.A.G.E., but I also know this man is bad. P.A.G.E. might sell themselves and us out to the highest bidder, but I suppose that doesn’t mean that the highest bidder isn’t necessarily a good guy every once in a while.
For the past two weeks we’ve been running scenarios for our mission. Our target is staying in a remote town in England, in the northern part of the Lake District. Stan said that we have a two day window before his schedule is unknown. It’s in that unknown that it’s believed he’ll sell the stolen Intel to our enemies.
The fact that our mission is being undertaken in another country means we have to be careful. It’s in England, a tech savvy and media swarming country, so we need to be quiet and quick. We’re flying to northern Scotland with fake passports and documents; from there we’re splitting up into groups of twos. Whether it’s because of our previous win or whether Martha just wants to torment me, Ethan has been paired with me.
I’ve improved a lot during my training. I’ve found exercise is a good release for the grief I face every day, and the fake dreams that still haunt me. Sometimes I wake so grateful for them because they give me an escape from the hell I’m in. I like to tell myself that I’m getting a look into a parallel universe. A universe where Dana is still alive, and Charlie and I get to be together. Other times they feel like a stab to my heart, a cruel look at something that’ll never happen.
My weapons training is my one fail. I don’t like hurting people, even ones who piss me off. I can attack an inanimate object with a weapon, usually doing my best work with a knife. A gun, however,
is another problem altogether. I can’t help shaking, so my aim is completely off. I also tend to space out.
When I see a gun, I see the destruction caused by them. I watch Dana bleeding out. I see Joel’s head flying backwards from the force of being hit. I feel the blood shatter over myself when Blake shot that guard in front of me. Seeing that kind of gore on TV is one thing. It’s fake. Seeing it live? No. That I can’t handle.
Blake appears to be suffering from a similar problem, although he’s improving every day. I’m still stuck at square one. It’s probably another reason that Ethan and I are stuck on perimeter duty. We’re not actually going in to do anything.
Blake is going in with Corby, much to both of their disgusts. They are one of the teams making an entry. Will has been paired with one of the women in my room. I know her name is Gully, or at least, her last name is something to that effect, and that she has some serious fighting skills. She looks to be in her mid to late twenties. Though I’ve been here for two months, I have yet to have one conversation with her.
I’ve only spoken to Will, Blake, Ocean, the trainers, and Stan and Martha when I absolutely have to. I haven’t even seen or spoken to Frank since my birthday. He and, thankfully, Talon have been away on a mission. Ethan has stayed away from me, but I notice his watchful eyes during training. For the past two weeks we have been training together. We’ve been able to keep things casual and he hasn’t tried to push any deep conversation with me. With three people out in medical, there’ll be twelve of us going along with Stan, Martha and another trainer.
Taken By Choice (Taken Trilogy Book 3) Page 25