The Braille Killer (An Alice Bergman Novel Book 1)

by Daniel Kuhnley

  “Move forward?” He scoffs. “I don’t know how we can from here. You’ve backed me into a corner and left me without options.”

  My heart beats so loud in my ears that I can hardly hear my own words. “Please, Seth. Don’t do this to me. Don’t do this to us.”

  “I cannot be with you.” His words are daggers in my chest, twisting and plunging again and again until there is no flesh left untattered.

  “Now or ever?” I fear the answer he’ll give me, but I have to know.

  “Don’t ask me that right now because I’m not sure either of us will like the answer.” He opens his car door, gets out, and slams it shut.

  I wipe my eyes and take several breaths. I know I look like a mess and can only imagine what Mother will think if she sees me this way. Seth opens my door. I grab Esther, pull myself out of the car, and head up the driveway. The car door slams shut and five seconds later another car door slams.

  I don’t look back. I can’t. If I do, I will break down again and might never recover. Seth fires up the engine, pulls out of the drive, and races away, his engine roaring.

  I open the front door and go inside. If Mother’s here she says nothing to me as I walk through the living room. I head straight to my bedroom, close the door and lock it, and collapse on my bed.

  To the ashes I’ve returned, a dying phoenix, and I don’t know if I’ll ever rise again.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  My bedroom door rattles on its hinges, battered by Mother’s pounding fist. “You best get yourself out of bed and into the kitchen pronto. You’ve got a lot of explaining to do, young lady.”

  “I know.” My voice croaks. My throat is dry and raw. I must’ve slept with my mouth open.

  My head throbs and the sunbeams through my window are daggers in my swollen eyes. Still fully dressed, I rise from the bed. My phone is still in my pants pocket, so I take it out and plug it into the cable atop my nightstand. I leave the phone there and head for the bedroom door.

  Several items are out of place, including my pile of clothes. I imagine everything in the room has been shifted. It’s not the best scenario for a blind person, but I’ve got bigger issues. Or at least one big issue: Mother.

  I unlock the door, open it, and head straight to the kitchen. I retrieve a bottle of water from the fridge and sit down in my usual chair at the table. I open the bottle and take a big gulp. It cools my raw throat and brings life back into my parched mouth.

  Mother sits across from me. Her foot taps the floor, keeping a perfect four/four beat. She only does it when she’s upset, and for once in my life I think she has good reason.

  “I had several ladies from church over for tea yesterday afternoon. Imagine my surprise when Seth and another detective show up at my door. Right in the middle of a deep conversation. And, as if that wasn’t awkward enough, they request that I allow them to search through your room and belongings. How could I refuse? They left me completely demoralized in front of my friends. God willing, I might be able to show my face at church on Sunday.”

  I race my thumb around the top of my water bottle. “I’m sorry, Mother. All of it took me by surprise as well.”

  “Lord, I prayed all night that He’d give me the strength to hear your explanation, the wisdom to decipher it, and the patience and understanding to keep me from laying into you. Rest assured that it is a struggle, but I will prevail, God willing. So what was it all about? Why were they searching your room? Have you done something wrong? And don’t even think of lying to me like you have in the past. I can detect a lie quicker than the strike of a snake.”

  I take another swig of water and swish it around my mouth before swallowing it. “The search had to do with the case Seth and I were working on. It turns out that the two victims had letters burned into them that spelled my name when arranged properly. Because of that, they thought I might be in some kind of danger.”

  “Well they had the dickens scared out of me.” Mother’s foot stops tapping. “I knew you weren’t caught up in some illicit scandal.”

  “I appreciate your vote of confidence, Mother.” I screw the lid back on my water bottle. “They wanted to assign an officer to our house, but I declined.”

  “Good. The Lord will protect us, not some man with a badge and gun.”

  No matter how hard I try, I can’t comprehend her undying faith in a faceless god. How could anyone?

  The water bottle crumples in my hand when I flex. “If this matter is settled can we talk about another?”

  “And what might that be?”

  “My father.”

  “Alice, we’ve trodden down this road many times. What more can I tell you about him?”

  “You continue to berate me about always telling the truth, but you’ve been lying to me about my father my entire life. Are you exempt from this rule? I believe Revelation 21:8 says no.” The damned song plays in my head. Liars go to hell. Burn, burn, burn.

  Mother stomps her foot. “Alice, you— There’s nothing—” She groans.

  Score one for Alice.

  Her chair squeaks and I know she’s squirming in it. “I’ve hidden the truth about your father from you all these years because I didn’t want you hurt by it.”

  I lean forward and rest my elbows on the table. “Did you ever think that perhaps lying to me might hurt me just as much as telling me the truth? Is anything you’ve told me about him true?”

  “There are certainly truths in what I told you.”

  I smack the table for effect like the detectives always do in the movies. “I think you’ve kept the truth from me because it hurts you, not because it would hurt me.”

  “That’s not true, Alice. The truth affects both of us. God, help me in saying this…”

  “What? What could be so bad? Is he a murderer? In prison? Dead? What is it?”

  “He’s crazy, Alice. There’s no way around it. When I told him that I was pregnant with you—”

  “He wanted you to abort me. Heard that one.”

  “I did say that, but it isn’t true. When I told him… he wanted to move us to some remote island near the Arctic Circle.”

  “That does sound stupid, but you decided to go with ‘he wanted to abort you?’ That makes no sense.”

  “He said you were special like him and that there were people that would hunt you and kill you. When I probed him further, he said your ancestors weren’t from this world.”

  Not from this world? It’s absurd, but the thought still chills me.

  “He was adamant about all of it so I… I…”

  “You what, Mother?” I stand and my chair screeches backward. “Spit it out for God’s sake.”

  “I had him committed. There was nothing else I could do.” She sniffles and I’m unsure if it’s allergies or self-pity because of what she did to my father. My guess is self-pity.

  I unscrew the lid on my water bottle, chug what’s left, and toss it and the lid into the recycle bin next to the fridge. I grab my chair and sit back down. “So my father’s a mental case. Big deal. So am I. Is he still alive?”

  She blows her nose twice and sniffs. “He was the last time I checked.”

  “And when was that? Better yet, where was that?”

  Her chair moans and screeches against the floor when she rises. The tea kettle rattles and then the kitchen sink faucet bursts to life. She fills the kettle and sets it on the stove. The auto-igniter clicks repeatedly, and the smell of gas reaches my nostrils just before the gas ignites with a whoosh.

  Mother sits back down at the table. “Ten years ago. Right after you gained your sight, I went to see him. Oh, you should’ve seen the fury in that man’s eyes. Praise God he’d gone blind several years before. I think if he’d seen me, he might’ve strangled me to death.

  “Our conversation led nowhere and ended abruptly when he called security to escort me out of the facility. That’s one of the reasons I haven’t gone back to see him.”


  I pull my face down with my hand. “You’re telling me he’s here in town?”

  “Yes, in the St. Thomas Psychiatric Center.”

  “All this time…”

  Daggers of betrayal pierce me, and I thank God I’m blind right now. If I had to look at Mother’s face right now, I might puke. How could she do this to me? I would never…

  Understanding washes over me and leaves my stomach wrecked. My God, Seth. I’m so sorry.

  I lean back in the chair and let my head dangle behind me. I’d hated my father for so long for abandoning me and wanting me dead that I can hardly reconcile that it was a lie.

  I rise from my chair with anger in my heart. “How could you be so calloused? Why would you let me believe that my father didn’t want me? Don’t you understand how hurt I’ve been by that fact—no, lie?

  “I spent so many years asking God why my father hated me so much that he wanted me dead. I couldn’t understand why. Now I find out that it was never true. I’ve blamed everyone, including God, but never you. The perfect woman, righteous to a fault. You were never on the suspect list. How could I have been so blind to what was right in front of me?”

  Those last words harken back to what Seth said to me in the conference room. I am my mother, and the thought sickens me.

  The tea kettle whistles and Mother rises from the table. She sets the kettle on a different burner and the whistling fades. “You’re right, Alice. I had no right to lie to you like that.” Her voice is quiet. Meek. “I am as imperfect as anyone. A sinner just like you and every other human on the planet. Can you ever forgive me?”

  I want nothing more than to lay into her but all I can think about is Seth and how I hurt him. I hear myself say “yes.” To my astonishment, I feel a great burden lifted from me. Mother hugs me. I’m not sure when she crossed the room. Her lavender perfume tickles my nose.

  I think this is the most progress Mother and I have ever made toward understanding each other. I decide to push a little further. “Will you take me to see him?”

  Mother pulls back from me. “What? No. Why would I do that? He’ll never see me again.”

  “Dr. Strong thinks my vision issues may stem from trauma over my father and recommended that I go see him. I think he might be right. I really need to meet him and talk to him. Please, do this one thing for me.”

  “Why don’t you have Seth or Veronica take you to see him if it’s that important to you.”

  “You lie to me for twenty-six years about my father and you’re unwilling to take me to see him?”

  “I… I just can’t. God forgive me. I can’t do it.”

  “Fine.”

  I storm out of the kitchen, down the hallway, and into my bedroom. I slam the door and proceed to trip over the pile of laundry that’s out of place. I twist around midair and fall right on my tailbone. Pain erupts across my entire butt and lower back. I curse Mother, the clothes, and Seth for moving them.

  I crawl over to my nightstand, grab my phone, and call Veronica for a ride.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  I clutch Esther in my right hand and Veronica’s arm in my left as we walk through the sliding doors and into the lobby of St. Thomas Medical Center. As of late, it has become a second home to me.

  I don’t know what it is about hospitals that creeps me out, but my skin crawls every time I walk through their front doors. On the surface they are clean and pristine, but underneath their layers of brown paint and bleached surfaces lies sickness and death.

  Veronica nudges my side. “I see what you mean about the info desk guy. He really does look like Eddie from Iron Maiden. A little less dead perhaps but otherwise spot on.”

  I snort. “Told you so. You owe me lunch now.” When we’re together we often revert back to teenage girls.

  “Whatcha reading, Eddie?” Veronica shouts loud enough to wake the dead in the hospital morgue downstairs. We proceed over to the information desk.

  “Well if it isn’t Wonderland! Who’s this you got hanging on your arm?”

  “This is Vee, my bestie.”

  “Nice to meet you, Vee. I’m sure Wonderland’s told you that they call me Eddie. Not sure why, but I kinda like it. Makes me feel like a covert operative or something. Like James Bond or Ethan Hunt, you know?”

  “No doubt. Got a page turner on your hands?” Veronica smacks her gum. It’s the one thing about her that drives me bonkers.

  “Sure do. One of Tosca Lee’s thrillers. The Progeny. Either of you read it?”

  Tosca Lee is one of my all-time favorite authors. “Yeah, read the second one as well. They don’t disappoint!”

  Veronica pulls on my arm. “You’re both too book nerdy for my taste. Let’s roll, Wonderland.”

  I roll my eyes. “See ya, Eddie. Enjoy the book!”

  “Oh, I will! See you girls later.”

  We walk across the main concourse and turn left, toward the East Wing. The hospital is a maze even with sight, so I’m glad I have Veronica at my side to guide me through it. We reach the East Wing elevators and take the third elevator to the third floor. From there, we cross the skybridge over to the St. Thomas Psychiatric Center and take another elevator to the first floor.

  By the time we step off the elevator my palms are sweaty, and my pulse is racing. I’ve never had a father before. In fact I’ve had very few men in my life at all. With Seth gone, I’m left with no one again.

  I’ve honestly never thought about what I would say to my father if I ever met him. Until two days ago I never did want to meet him. Now that I’m here outside the psychiatric ward I’m not sure I can go through with it.

  “Hold up, Vee.” My breathing is shallow, my chest is tight, and I think I might start hyperventilating. “I’m not sure I can do this right now. I don’t think I’m ready to meet him.”

  Veronica grabs the side of my head and kisses my cheek. Her lips are silky soft. “You’ll be fine, I promise. If he turns out to be some psycho bastard, we’ll turn tail and run, but you’ve gotta give him a chance. After all, he didn’t abandon you… exactly. Can’t be worse than meeting my father, remember? I’m eight years old and the jerk asks me for money.”

  I squeeze her arm against my side. “Nice pep talk coach. You sure know how to instill courage and hope in someone.”

  Veronica smacks her gum again. “I do my best work under pressure.”

  I wince. “I don’t even know what the hell to call him. Father? Dad? Daddy? Pops? Papa? Mr. Mallard? Isaiah?”

  “Sperm donor might do the trick.”

  “I’m being serious, Vee.”

  “So was I. That’s all he’s been for you so far. Call it like it is.”

  “I need his help, not a kick in the pants. I can’t go in there without a plan.”

  “And you didn’t devise a plan on the way over here? You’re always on top of things like that. What’s gotten into you, besides Seth?”

  “Sometimes you can be really crude. Besides, Seth and I don’t exist anymore.”

  “Okay, back up the friggin bus. What do you mean you and Seth don’t exist anymore? I thought you two were destined to make perfect little babies together. What happened?”

  “What didn’t happen is the real question. Everything blew up in my face at work and then Seth did too. They raided my storage unit and took everything and then they suspended me from the force.”

  “Serious? Those bastards don’t have a clue. I might have to take my happy butt down there and give ‘em a piece of my mind. How you handling it so well? I’d be a total wreck about now.”

  “Trust me, I was last night. I wanted to call you, and have you come over, but I knew you were working. I’m still upset and pissed about the whole thing, but there’s nothing I can do about it right now.”

  “Yeah there is. You can go through these damned doors and meet your father. They might’ve raided your storage unit, but they can’t take all that knowledge from your head.”

 
“I know, and you’re right.” I take a deep breath. “Let’s do this before I change my mind again.”

  “Truth.” Veronica reaches across me and presses the call button on the wall. A bell sounds.

  Moments later a male voice greets us. “Afternoon, ladies. I’m Nurse Vance. How may I be of service?”

  “We’re here to see Isaiah Mallard.” My voice cracks.

  “She is. I’m just here for moral support.”

  I elbow her.

  “Got any support needs of your own, big guy?”

  I elbow her again.

  Vance ignores Veronica. “IDs please. We’ll return them to you when you leave.”

  I retrieve my ID from my front pants pocket and Veronica snatches it out of my hand.

  “Okay, I get it. All business. Not a problem. Here’s our IDs.”

  “Thank you,” says Nurse Vance.

  Veronica releases my arm. “What time you get off work Vance? Ally here is newly single.”

  “Vee, you’re embarrassing me.”

  Nurse Vance ignores Veronica’s question. “Give me a minute or two to get you guys into the visitor’s log. Once I’ve done that, the doors to your left will swing outward. Make sure you’re standing behind the red line on the floor so that you don’t get hit by them. I will meet you right on the other side.”

  Veronica whispers in my ear. “Or in a parking lot. Dark alley. Back seat of your car. I don’t care where it is.”

  I roll my eyes. “You’re a twisted little perv, Vee.”

  “Crazy, you say? You might be on to something. At least we’re in the right place. Check me in and put me under his care.”

  “Sometimes I wonder how we ever became friends. How about we focus on my father.”

  “Oh, don’t you worry yourself. This girl can multitask like nobody’s business.”

  “Seriously, Vee. My nerves are frayed already and you’re not helping.”

  “For real? Right here in the hallway? Can someone call diaper patrol? We’ve got a party pooper on our hands.” She kisses my cheek.