The Shuttered Ward

by Jennifer Rose McMahon

  My eyes shot up to Kaitlin’s. “They want to hang out.”

  “He’s with Nick?” She jumped onto the bed and scrambled to look at my phone. “Shit! My mom won’t let us out.”

  I typed back.

  Being held prisoner at Ks. Cheryl won’t let us out

  Kaitlin bit her lip while staring at my phone for a reply.

  What time does she go to bed

  I smirked at Kaitlin as she fidgeted and bit her nails.

  “Tell him ten o’clock,” she said.

  “But what about your dad?” I asked. “When will he get home?”

  She smirked. “Two more days.” She nudged at me. “Tell them ten.”

  A huge smile crossed my face. Kaitlin was hilarious. She acted all scared and nervous but still, somehow, she was always up for the next thing. Especially if it involved Nick.

  I responded.

  10

  We waited, staring at my phone.

  Ok we’ll be there after that

  Kaitlin jumped off her bed. “Shit!” Her hands ran through her hair. “What if my mom catches us?” She paced the floor.

  “It’s okay, Kaitlin.” I fanned my hands at her to calm her down. “We need to see your mom’s expectations as guidelines.” I smirked. “She wants the best for you. She’s trying to be a good mom. But come on. We’re in charge of our own lives.”

  She wrestled with what she wanted versus defying her mother. “I know. You’re right.” She bit her thumbnail. “I just don’t want to hurt her.”

  “That’s why we’ll sneak.” I grinned. “She’ll never know.”

  Kaitlin pressed her lips together and glared at me. Then she moved to her window. “Help me with the screen. You know how this thing works.”

  I jumped off the bed as new adrenaline pumped through me. It wasn’t the first time Kaitlin and I snuck out her window to roam the neighborhood, giddy on stolen freedom and exhilaration.

  “I love you so much,” I gushed as I wiggled the mountings of the screen.

  “Shh!” Kaitlin stiffened. “Don’t make a sound. My mom will know if she hears.”

  “I know. I got this.” I loosened the fasteners all around the screen, then gently pulled it from the window frame. It was the actual window I worried about. It always stuck, and the crank made a ton of noise. “Let’s wait to open the window later,” I said as I placed the screen behind her desk. “After she goes to bed.”

  “I wish her bedroom wasn’t so close to mine,” Kaitlin whined. “She has ears like a hawk.”

  “Umm, hawks have good eyes,” I teased. “I don’t know about their ears.”

  “Whatever.” She laughed. “Either way, my mom has got ‘em.”

  “Remember the last time?” I giggled. “You went out first, but then I got stuck, trying to squeeze out after you.”

  Kaitlin coughed out her laugh. “Oh my God. I was sure we were gonna get caught. Your foot kept banging on the radiator.”

  “That was so much fun.” I thought back to our crazy high school days. We had no idea how easy things were back then. Sure, the pressure of school and all the anxiety that went with it. But now—now the pressures were different.

  “We’re too old to have to sneak out the window. You know this, right?” Kaitlin’s tone held teasing judgment.

  “We are.” I agreed. “But, literally, it’s worth it. Just for the rush alone.”

  Fingernails tapped on the outside of her door and we jumped like skittish cats. The door pushed open and Kaitlin’s mom poked her head in.

  “You girls okay?” she asked. “Do you need anything?” Uncertainty filled her eyes.

  “We’re good Mom,” Kaitlin said, and I sent an innocent smile to her.

  She nodded. “Okay, well, you have a nice sleep. Everything will feel much better in the morning.”

  She closed the door and a moment later, the sound of her own bedroom door closing made us grin.

  “She’s probably gonna read for a while first,” Kaitlin whispered.

  “Let’s make nachos. She’ll never suspect a thing.”

  We crept to the kitchen like criminals, knowing we weren’t doing anything wrong, but still feeling guilty. I turned the TV on, and we crashed on the couch in the family room. A huge plate of nachos and cans of Diet Coke balanced on the ottoman between us, and we inhaled the snack.

  “Oh my God. I love this show,” Kaitlin mumbled through a full mouth of chips and queso. “They’re at a beach house and then their exes start arriving. The drama is so extra.” She laughed at the bitchy girls in bikinis, stabbing each other in the back at every turn.

  Between scrolling through Instagram and watching the show, we picked the nacho plate clean. Then my phone buzzed.

  On our way

  “Shit!” I grabbed Kaitlin’s arm. “They’re coming.”

  “It’s barely ten-thirty.” Kaitlin jumped up with a squeal. “What if my mom’s not asleep yet?”

  “We’ll just have to be super quiet,” I whispered. “Come on!” I grabbed the plate and cans, then got rid of them in the kitchen. We crept back toward her room as I typed.

  Gonna sneak out her window. Park at side of house. Lmk when u get here

  My heart pounded as we snuck to Kaitlin’s room.

  It wasn’t like we’d be arrested or anything, but the thought of getting caught by her mother was still terrifying. She’d feel deceived and betrayed. All the stuff one would never want a mom to feel. It escalated the stakes even higher.

  “Turn your music on and bang around a little while I try to get this open,” I said as I lifted the lock on the window.

  It rattled in its frame from the release of the lock, and my hands flew to my mouth. Kaitlin’s eyes burst wide, and she jumped to her phone to start the music.

  She moved her chair out from her vanity and dragged it around the room, making more noise than necessary. I went back to trying to open the window and gently pushed on the crank.

  Every subtle movement of the lever sent a loud thump or vibration through the walls, and I cringed at every sound. Kaitlin paced as she watched every movement. I crouched with the next crank, squeezing my eyes shut, and bumped my hip into the wall with the following one to disguise the sounds. Each turn of the handle pushed the window farther open until it was wide enough for us to fit through.

  I exhaled the breath I’d been holding the entire time, and Kaitlin blew hers out, too.

  Cool evening air whirled in around us, and Kaitlin pulled on a hoodie. I moved to the pile in the corner, knowing my jacket was under the hoard, then raised an eyebrow at her.

  She shook her head to stop me before reaching for another hoodie in her closet.

  “No. Wear this,” she said, blocking me from moving closer to the pile.

  As I pulled the sweatshirt over my head, my phone vibrated.

  We r here

  It was the moment of truth. We had to escape from her window without waking her mother. It was near impossible as the window was a bit too high and the siding on the outside of the house made tons of noise, but we were determined.

  Here we come, I typed back.

  We looked at each other, and I nodded for Kaitlin to go first. She needed more help than me, so I boosted her onto the window ledge and held her steady as she leaned out of it.

  The crank on the window caught on her yoga pants, pulling them down past her hip. Her red thong nearly glowed in the dim light, and a huge laugh threatened to burst out of me.

  My hand flew to my mouth as I caught the laugh, forcing it to escape through my nose. The grumbling snort filled her entire room and we froze, with her hanging halfway out the window, in hysterical, silent laughter. I crossed my legs, nearly peeing myself as I struggled to release her pants from the crank. The more we laughed, the farther she fell out the window, making her pants come off even more.

  There was only one solution.

  I pulled her sneakers off and pushed her out. Her hands hit the ground and she walked herself across the gras
s on them, wiggling out of her pants. As her feet dropped to the ground, I threw her pants to her then covered my mouth, squeezing my nose to hold the laughter in. Tears streamed from my eyes while she struggled to get her pants back on before anyone might see. The fencing around her yard and the darkness were the only things that saved her from a full public exhibition.

  Panting from the laughter, I stepped on her trash can and pushed myself up onto the sill. I looked back over my shoulder, to be sure her mom wasn’t lurking in the doorway ready to grab me, then in a smooth motion, I pressed onto the windowsill and reached for Kaitlin to pull me out.

  It was almost perfect. Until my feet ran along the outside of the house, rattling along the rows of siding. We froze, waiting for any sounds of her mother coming. I peeked through the window, but her door was still closed and the music kept playing.

  “Do you think she heard?” Kaitlin asked.

  I reached in for the crank to close the window as much as possible. “I don’t think so,” I replied. “We’re good.”

  We snuck through the backyard to the farthest corner.

  “The gate makes too much noise,” Kaitlin said. “And its right next to my mom’s window.” We pressed in behind a bush. “This is safer.”

  After we climbed the fencing, we dropped over the other side. Our feet splatted on the cement sidewalk, and, following the smell of cotton candy vape, we ran for Braden’s car.

  Chapter 15

  We opened the door to the backseat of Braden’s car without making a sound and slid in. I pulled it closed behind us as quietly as possible until it latched shut.

  Nick spun around, blowing a white cloud of sweet candy at us.

  I waved the plume away from my face. “I could smell your vape from a mile away,” I said with a fake cough, rolling my eyes.

  Braden reached back to lift a bottle of blue raspberry vodka from the backpack between us. “Figured we’d need to celebrate the jailbreak.”

  Kaitlin glanced out of the car window in search of her suspicious mother. “Let’s get out of here,” she said.

  “What, like drive?” Braden asked.

  “Nah…we shouldn’t go that far.” She looked toward the house again. “Let’s just walk.”

  She knew she’d be in less trouble if she was nearby, in case her mom noticed us missing. Plus, it was a beautiful night. And Braden had my favorite alcohol.

  I never drank much, but when I did, blue raspberry Rubinov was my go-to. Something told me it was a bad idea with a head injury, though. But it seemed like a peace offering from Braden, in a way, to break the ice between us. So maybe I’d just have a little.

  Braden put the bottle back in his backpack and we all crept out of the car, closing the doors behind us with gentle pressure from our bodies. Once we were a few houses beyond Kaitlin’s, our volume rose and we moved more naturally. The idea of sneaking out made us all giddy, and we headed straight for our favorite spot—the turf field and playground at the end of Kaitlin’s street.

  Nick passed his vape as we crossed the street and moved into the open field. I shook my hand at him. I’d never gotten the whole vape thing. It burned my throat and made me jittery. Blowing out the white smoke was fun, but not worth coughing up blood.

  Kaitlin, however, reached for it without the slightest hesitation.

  Nick smiled as he passed it to her. It was like an invisible hook-up between them, judging from the time-lapse of his releasing it and her taking it. I nearly had to look away to give them privacy.

  She lifted it to her mouth, then sucked on it. Nick watched without blinking. Then she blew the cloud out in front of her, swiping at it with her hand. She passed it back to Nick, and he immediately put it in his mouth for another hit. I averted my eyes this time.

  Crossing the field toward the playground, Braden walked alongside me. “That was pretty intense today,” he said. “Are you okay?”

  Being locked in the shuttered ward seemed like a lifetime ago. It was hard to believe it was still the same day. “I actually don’t know. It’s like it hasn’t hit me yet. Everything. You know… Like I need time for it to sink in.”

  “Makes sense,” he said. “Maybe once you sleep on it, it’ll calm things down a little.” He paused, probably not knowing what else to say. “You’re safe, though. So hopefully it won’t, like, bother you.”

  He was probably wondering if I’d be traumatized from the event. He just didn’t know how to say it. But somehow, I didn’t think it would trouble me that way. I was more fascinated by the whole situation rather than traumatized by it. If I was scarred from it, I wouldn’t have this primal urge to go back.

  He pulled the bottle out of his backpack, then unscrewed the cap. “Here, calm your nerves.” He hesitated. “And to apologize for threatening to tell your mom.” He lowered his eyes onto the grass. “I guess I panicked a little.” He passed it to me for the first sip.

  I smiled, thinking of all the times Braden and I found ourselves at parties with a little buzz. We’d always stick together and have the best time. Everyone always thought we’d hook up or that we had a secret affair, and it was obvious he would have in a second. Instead, though, we always just enjoyed our closeness. And our friendship. It was hard to explain or understand, but we’d always managed to avoid the hook up, no matter how close it came.

  I thought it made our friendship more special. There was a deep trust that made me feel safe around him. His earlier reaction to me when we fought on my front lawn was just him trying to protect me. That was clear now.

  I took the bottle from his hand. The blue raspberry taste masked the burning of the vodka as I took a sip and it moved down my throat.

  I exhaled and passed it back to Braden. He took a sip, then handed it off to Nick.

  I smiled as I watched him. Images of him bursting through the locked door of the ward, grave concern all over his face, replayed in my mind. His urgency in that moment was invigorating.

  The vodka warmed me from within, sending a strange urge through me.

  I wanted to wrap my arms around him and never let go. I just wanted to hold him. To have him hold me. It would feel so natural, with no effort needed. I started to ache for it.

  The feeling was surprising. And overwhelming.

  Breaking away from Braden’s hypnotic gaze, I ran for the wooden climbing structure.

  A plank with scattered rock-climbing holds all over it led up to the hut at the top. I reached for the lumpy hand-holds, grabbed, then pulled myself up on the board. After I climbed all the way up, I wiggled into the child-sized cabin. Inside, benches jutted out from the walls surrounding a small round table in the center. I squeezed in along a bench at the far side, making room for the others.

  Braden hopped onto the plank. In two effortless movements, he was at the top. He passed the backpack to me so he would fit through the small entryway.

  Poking my head out the window, I called to Kaitlin.

  “Get in here!” I laughed. “We have the Rubinov.”

  Nick pulled her away from the rock-climbing plank, and she giggled.

  “Here I come,” she called, resisting his tug.

  Braden shuffled along the bench, trying to get a comfortable position. He hunched over, clearly too large for the play space. I chuckled at his clumsy fumbling, remembering the times we’d all come here years before, when we fit more easily.

  “Remember when the police chased us from here?” he said. “We ran. We shouldn’t have run.” He shook his head at our stupidity.

  “I know!” I chuckled. “It would have been no problem if we hadn’t run.”

  “We hid in the bushes thinking we were all set,” he added.

  I remembered it well. We’d huddled together in the bushes, his arm around me to keep us as small as possible. We giggled quietly until the bright flashlight exposed us. Somehow, one of the cops had found us. Parents were called. Punishments were delivered.

  “Those times were so much fun,” I murmured. “We had no real concerns.�
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  “Yeah.” He nodded his head. “Good times.”

  I wondered what was keeping Kaitlin and poked out the window again. My eyes followed the white mist that trailed behind them. She and Nick were walking toward the darkness of the trees at the back of the field.

  Oh my God. She was leaving me to go hook up with Nick.

  My stomach flipped. She had always wanted to. I could never understand why—okay, his eyes—but other than that…

  And now I was alone with Braden.

  I was going to KILL her!

  He reached into his backpack to retrieve the bottle. He passed it to me, wobbling it as if tempting me to take it.

  My head was already spinning from my strange feelings and from being alone with him. “No, I’m good right now. You have it.”

  He put it back in the bag. “Nah, I’m good, too.”

  My stomach clamped as I saw him in a new light. I observed his features. He was handsome. It was no surprise all the girls wanted him. I’d just never allowed myself to look at him like that before. I guessed I’d never wanted to risk what we had.

  Then, in the next breath, the clamp on my stomach loosened and my shoulders relaxed.

  “Thanks for today,” I said.

  “Hmm?” He looked into my eyes.

  “You know. For getting us out of there.” I sent a gentle smile to him.

  “Oh. Yeah. You’re welcome.” He fidgeted in his tight space.

  Then a surge of bravery moved through me. I couldn’t tell if it was the sip of vodka or something else, but it felt amazing. It was like the purest form of me had awakened, allowing the simplicity of truth to be revealed.

  And the truth was—I had feelings for Braden.

  I’d suppressed them for such a long time I’d lost touch with them. But right now, in this moment, they rushed to the surface and refused to be ignored any longer.

  I bit my bottom lip in fear of what I might do. The feeling was so intense, like I was on a thrill ride that sent my head spinning.

  “It’s weird we’ve never…you know,” I began.

  His eyes widened to full attention.