Sleepless in Bangkok

by Ian Quartermaine

  “Siamese people have always been so shy and retiring,” Steven satirically thought.

  “Cop khun krap, tilak, thank you darling,” Steven finally replied, not wishing to dampen Gunn’s enthusiasm concerning the calibre of his coy.

  “But you still haven’t told me why you want me to take you to Liechtenstein and Switzerland.” Looking down at his beautiful young lover, Steven could see that she was smiling in a suspicious kind of way.

  “What translucent, mysterious, Siamese eyes,” Steven thought. “Like a cat. Well, a pussy. The knowledge of all mankind is probably lurking behind those darkly veiled lashes, hidden within the windows of her soul. For certain no one is ever going to own this one. It may not last long, but for sure it’s going to be fun.”

  Steven continued to ravish Gunn’s baby body, determined his young partner should enjoy the art of his sensual, sexual experience.

  “This is so good,” Gunn said as she smiled at her farang lover.

  Savouring the sensation of Steven’s man o’ war as it again sought shelter inside her prurient port of entry, ravishing her frontal facade as he synchronously thrust his sticky fingers inside her boyishly brief butt, Gunn started cumming for the fourth of her multiple orgasms.

  “Fantastic,” Gunn cried, her indirect compliment inflating Steven’s ego as much as his extremely erect penis.

  Apparently satisfied, Gunn stretched out like a pampered panther, a mischievous expression on her face.

  “What’s going on inside your devious female brain? Out with it,” Steven demanded.

  “Not take out yet. Like feel of farang ding dong throbbing inside me,” Gunn replied.

  “I didn’t mean out with Mr. Wiggly. I meant out with whatever is lurking inside your impenetrable, mysterious, Oriental, female mind.”

  Gunn whispered softly in her lover’s ear. “Steven, when finish playing with pussy and posterior end of my baby body, want you to take me to Liechtenstein.”

  “For what?” Steven asked.

  “For the skiing,” Gunn answered, a highly suspect, inscrutable look on her classically sculpted, innocent looking Eurasian features.

  Gunn paused for a moment. “Otherwise have you up on date rape charge!”

  110

  Screwed Again

  “You really are into kinky sex,” Gunn said as she awoke to find herself naked and handcuffed to the bed. “Sorry to intrude on the romance, but you are under arrest,” Steven confirmed. “It’s my duty to tell you that I’m working for MI6 in cooperation with the Thai government. My brief was to uncover corruption in the Thai civil service. The assignment to destroy the warlords’ drug commissary was perfect cover. If anyone was going to fuck with us, the mission would bring out every scam artist, crook and criminal within and outside government circles.

  “You’re kidding,” Gunn said, uncertainty in her tone.

  “Afraid not,” Steven answered, other than the key to the handcuffs he was holding, as naked as Gunn.

  “Fuck you, Steven Hunt,” Gunn replied, unable to think of anything more appropriate.

  “Not any more,” Steven confirmed.

  Gunn stared at Steven. Perhaps it was just weird farang humour again. Steven instantly put an end to her doubt by revealing the worst.

  “We suspected Field Marshal James Chang would be on the take, and might have been paid to help sabotage the mission. But it looks as if he was innocent of any wrong doing. Certainly innocent of any skulduggery concerning the mission we’ve just completed. I can’t say how he got all the money you say he has, but it was you that took the bait. That’s why I gave you Kronsky’s bank draft to keep. Sorry to say it was not just to deal you an extra card in case anything happened to me. We’re all shits in this business, as you know. I hate it. I only came back into it because of the money.”

  Gunn stared into space. She hated it, too. Fuck, she actually liked the guy. Well, she liked him when he fucked her.

  Weird thing is you probably saved my skin, rather than strong male rescuing sweet maiden from the bad guys. This feminism business has its upside!”

  Gunn remained in something resembling a state of suspended animation.

  “But perhaps you were in partnership with your uncle. Come on Gunn, give me something to work with. Perhaps I can get you off with a lighter sentence. Were you working in cahoots with your uncle?”

  Gunn ignored Steven’s question and focused on her own.

  “You were engaged on two missions at the same time?”

  Steven nodded.

  “Superman,” Gunn stated, coldly.

  “So you’ll have to come along with me, as the boys in blue say in England.” Steven took a long look at Gunn’s naked body.

  “You want me to cum with you?” Gunn asked. “OK.”

  “I think you are trying to bribe me. I’d love to but we haven’t time. Officials from your government and mine will be here soon. I’ll leave it up to them to make formal charges, but I’m sure they will include my testimony as part of the evidence. I’m sorry Gunn, because I actually grew to like you,” Steven admitted.

  “If that’s true uncuff me, I want go pee-pee.”

  “OK,” Steven said and unlocked Gunn’s manacles.

  “I don’t know how we’re going to resolve this as I’m working undercover for my government’s equivalent of MI6. I’m supposed to arrest you for agreeing to take half of Kronsky’s money,” Gunn said as she calmly removed the Berretta from her designer handbag and pointed it at Steven’s chest.

  “Thailand will fuck you every time,” Steven thought, the irony of the situation not having escaped him. But then again, maybe Gunn was bluffing.

  Gunn’s unsmiling expression and the gun aimed at his chest, suggested she was not.

  “OK, the gun pointing at my chest currently gives you a tactical advantage. Also it’s your country so Thai officials will probably believe you, not me. Just as bad, in Thailand a person is guilty until proven innocent. Which means if they do believe you rather than me, I’ll be in the monkey house (jail) within the hour.”

  “Tough,” Gunn said.

  “Apart from Uncle Chang, have you told anyone official about what you say I’m supposed to be guilty of concerning Kronsky’s cash?” Steven asked, trying to think of a way out.

  “I haven’t even told him,” Gunn said. “Not possible. Only know about your larcenous conduct last night, when I give farang opportunity to share half of Kronsky’s bank draft. Have you told anyone about me keeping hold of it?”

  “No,” Steven replied. “Unless officials from your side have countermanded my instructions, officials from my government are on their way here right now. But I haven’t told them anything about you stealing Kronsky’s money and offering to share it with me. You only offered it last night, so no time. In any event, they suspected Field Marshal Chang would be the one to indulge in some creative accounting, not you. You know what Thai government officials and their cronies are like, the whole country went south because of their activities. But for the IMF and the World Bank, Thailand would be a banana republic by now.”

  “Thailand certainly grows a lot of bananas,” Gunn said.

  “I didn’t mean it like that,” Steven replied. “I meant metaphorically.”

  “Is that some kind of sexual deviation?” Gunn asked. “The metaphorical position. Sounds interesting.”

  “I’ve ruined this girl’s personality,” Steven thought, before getting back to his original train of thought.

  “You weren’t on the list of potential culprits. I suppose predominately male officials on the British government side didn’t think a female would be bright enough to carry out a scam. You’re currently white as the driven snow. They were hoping I would be able to implicate your uncle, Field Marshal James Chang. I don’t know how he amassed all of his money, but I don’t have any evidence regarding any wrong doing on his part in the drugs deal we just exploded. I’m glad, as I kind of liked him.”

  Gunn looked down at her complet
ely naked, light brown skin. “Yes, I am white as the driven snow,” she said.

  “You know what I mean,” Steven replied. “She really does have a sense of humour,” his thoughts added.

  “And you kind of liked us both,” Gunn added.

  “You already know that,” Steven replied.

  “So neither of us has been mentioned in a criminal capacity to either of our administrations?” Gunn mused and semi-asked.

  “Officially we’re regarded as heroes. That will remain the case unless either one of us muddies the waters.”

  “What shall we do then?” Gunn asked.

  “According to the ethics of our profession, I’m supposed to arrest you and you’re supposed to arrest me. But as I’m in your country and you’ve got friends in high places, I’m the one who will find himself in jail. You’ll probably get a chest full of medals and one of those white general’s uniforms anyone over the rank of post office clerk in government service in Thailand, seems to have the right to wear.”

  Gunn gave a smug look.

  “As far as the British side is concerned, they’ll stick to protocol. Which means that even if I am eventually believed and you are not, I could spend years in a Thai jail while they go through channels to get me out. But even if my government took pity and decided to prosecute me in England, it could take years to get me extradited. In the meantime, I’ll be rotting in a Thai jail. Either way, the balance of my fee will be on hold and enough doubt would have been placed on my integrity by your testimony and the backup your tea money will inevitably purchase from relatives and friends in the Thai civil service, my government will probably take the easy way out and accept your government’s version of events. Life in a Thai jail is almost certainly what I’ll go down for. But even if I am eventually exonerated, enough shit would have hit my reputation I’ll probably never work again. So it looks as if you’ve got me well and truly fucked, metaphorically speaking.” Steven had used the minute of time since his arrest by Gunn after his arrest of her, to evaluate his position.

  “Three hundred million points to woman; twenty five to fifty years for man,” Gunn said, the expression on her face one of veiled satisfaction.

  “So what now?” Steven asked.

  “Steven Hunt in my hands entirely,” Gunn replied.

  “Looks like it,” Steven confirmed.

  “Were you really going to arrest me and hand me over to your government’s officials?” Gunn enquired.

  “To be honest, I’m not sure,” Steven advised. “Were you, or should I say are you, going to hand me over to your government’s officials?”

  “To be honest, I’m not sure.”

  “Do they know you hid the bank draft and kept it?”

  “No,” Gunn replied.

  “No?” Steven half stated, half asked.

  “No,” Gunn confirmed. “Unless someone proves otherwise, as far as they are concerned we paid Kronsky his money. I haven’t even told them Kronsky is dead. Didn’t want to have a potential murder or manslaughter charge hanging over me. Someone may have used it against me in the future, which would have left me well fucked.

  “Literally as well as metaphorically, if sexual favours were eventually demanded,” Steven said. “I think you did the right thing considering that anything goes in Thailand. If someone had that kind of leverage over you, they could demand money and sexual favours from you for the rest of your life.”

  Gunn slowly nodded.

  “So I’m the only one who knows the truth about your dirty deed because Rupert was a fully paid up member of the catatonic club at the time.”

  “You’ve got me there,” Gunn replied.

  “Where?” Steven asked.

  “Not there,” Gunn replied. “Farang always think of sex even when about to go to the monkey house if not play cards right.”

  “So there may be another option?” Steven sort of asked.

  Gunn’s enigmatic expression suggested that there might.

  “That looked like a definite maybe.”

  Gunn said nothing.

  “So what do we do?”

  In her naked state, Gunn gazed at Steven’s naked state.

  “We’ve only got a short time before officials from both of our governments arrive to crosscheck our stories and verify if anyone has had their hand in the till,” Steven advised, the slightest element of urgency in his voice.

  “Short time? I couldn’t even handle a short, short time. Stress, it’s no good for sexual performance,” Gunn said, her understanding of irony as humour finally grasped.

  “Thai people always think of sex.” Steven repeated Gunn’s comment about him a few moments before.

  Gunn almost smiled, she saw the point. In fact she could currently see all of Steven’s point, as he was starting to get a hard-on.

  “Your staring at me did that,” Steven said. “He leads, I follow. A problem all of my life.”

  “You certainly have a big coy, Steven.”

  “Thanks,” Steven replied. “But what about the other situation?”

  “I think we should forget about you arresting me and then me arresting you, and go back to the unofficial arrangement we made last night, after you made me cum three times,” Gunn suggested.

  “Four times,” Steven said. ‘But perhaps you’re right. We do both like to travel, and a skiing holiday seems rather inviting after the heat of the jungle.”

  “Hot in other ways also,” Gunn stated with an ironic undertone.

  “Anyway, the paperwork would be horrendous if we carry on with the official nonsense of me arresting you and you arresting me. All those reports to write up and from the inside a jail for one or both of us,” Steven added.

  “Hate paperwork,” Gunn replied. Naked as a baby, she lowered her gun and replaced it inside the leather designer handbag she always carried. Placing the bag on a bedside table, she kissed Steven on the mouth.

  “This whole mission has been a cock-up from start to finish,” Steven said, tongue in cheek, before placing his tongue firmly inside Gunn’s cheek. “Fortunately,” he appended.

  “True,” Gunn stated.

  “It will probably be half an hour before officials from either of the administrations funding the mission get here. You know what civil servants are like,” Steven stated.

  “Add Bangkok’s traffic-clogged roads and it could be an hour or more,” Gunn confirmed. “That’s just about enough time for you to fuck me again. I like the feel of Khun Wiggly throbbing inside me. Where did you learn to make love like that?”

  “It was hard, took a lot of practice,” Steven replied.

  “If they do come while I cum, they will have to wait,” Gunn said.

  “Yes, fuck them,” Steven replied.

  “No, fuck me,” Gunn ordered.

  “Well I know where I stand in more ways than one,” Steven said as he looked down to see that his hard-on had dramatically increased in size. “Khun Wiggly is ready for his morning matinee performance.”

  “I can see that,” Gunn replied.

  Gunn laid on the bed and beckoned Steven over.

  Steven realised that Gunn might well keep him as her sex slave for as long into the future as suited her convenience, now she had something on him. Or perhaps until a younger man came along. Suddenly, Steven knew how older women felt when their husband obtained a young mistress on the side, or traded the old bitch in for a new bitch. Steven’s sojourn in Siam was getting to be a cathartic experience.

  But things were not all bad as he did have something on Gunn, and would get something in her on every possible occasion.

  “Go with the flow,” Steven thought, getting back to non-judgemental, Oriental thinking patterns.

  Gunn had an almost arrogant look on her face.

  “Shit, she’s acting like a man. Are men really like that when they are on top?” Steven asked himself. “Am I like that?”

  Gunn seemed satisfied, not sexually but intellectually. But why not, when she had so profoundly beaten the pants
off Steven - right now and on a number of previous occasions.

  “The perfect crime,” Gunn said as Steven lay on top of her, ready to slide his coy inside her moist, adolescent-sized opening. “It was satisfying purloining government money which should not have been given away to anyone, let alone to a criminal of the lowest order. The bonus is we stopped the bad guys from distributing their poisonous product to some of the world’s most vulnerable people. I think we deserve a reward for that.”

  “Your English is good,” Steven observed, changing the subject away from true crime and sex.

  “Thanks,” Gunn said.

  “I mean it. Not many non-native English speakers would use the word purloin in its correct context. In fact few English people could since education standards went south in my country of birth.”

  “Another thank you,” Gunn replied.

  “Just trying to get round you,” Steven stated with a hint of a smile.

  “Get in me rather than round me,” Gunn suggested, her sense of humour intact.

  “You put me in, your pussy is so small I don’t want to hurt you,” Steven said.

  “Not fuck me yet, still want to talk.”

  “OK,” Steven replied.

  “We did the world a favour by terminating Kronsky,” Gunn said as she held Steven’s coy as a child would nurse a favourite toy. “We were authorised to take him out by our governments, so where is the crime?”

  “Nothing was officially authorised in the British side. In fact your uncle, Field Marshal Chang, told me in no uncertain terms that I was on my own if the shit hit the fan,” Steven advised. “So you were officially authorised to take him out?”

  “Not exactly. Nothing in writing, so guess I’m vulnerable to some extent if anyone found out what I’ve done,” Gunn explained.

  “I know what you’ve done,” Steven said, an enigmatic expression on his face.

  “Misappropriating money from a major criminal no longer around to make a complaint, is hardly a crime. Not that Kronsky would have been in a position to make charges against us even if he were alive to do so,” Gunn said, attempting to justify her recent actions.

  “Against you. I didn’t take his money or kill him. Technically, you are the only one at risk of being prosecuted for embezzlement, manslaughter or murder. The latter I would think as you fucked him from behind with your little weapon. Kronsky would have been impressed, if he had lived. But in this case he was the victim, so not possible. Shit, this is starting to become something of a Chinese puzzle.”