Book of the Dead: AESLI-00: (A reverse harem, post-pandemic, slow-burn romance) (The JAK2 Cycle, Book 1)

by V. E. S. Pullen

  Tai: I want to talk to her too.

  Sasha: Fine.

  Me: I’m fucking shaking right now. Jesus. You have no idea how intense it was.

  Luka: I’m inviting her over tonight. She’s at her locker, hold on.

  Sev: She’s got something after school, tell her it’ll be later. After. Just say that.

  Tai: Should we bring in Jason and Ryan too?

  Sasha: Not if we don’t have to.

  Luka: Okay. Well, this is something. She’s got something to do for the next couple hours but she said she’ll come over tonight. Just on the off-chance her aunt and uncle MIGHT agree, I asked if she could stay the night. She can have my bed and I’ll sleep on the floor. She got a little mad, said that Spider has a big fucking mouth, but I told her we aren’t going to make things difficult on her, we just want some time with her. She sorta teared up at that, and agreed to stay over. I asked if she needed to ask anyone and she looked at me like I’m an idiot and said no. Wtf? Shouldn’t they care where she is?

  Tai: There’s something weird about it for sure. Her aunt works here and Mouse has made some sarcastic comments about her a few times when Azzie isn’t around. They aren’t exactly “involved” in her life, I think Azzie does whatever she wants.

  Luka: That sucks but it works out for us. I’m going to go get some food for later.

  Sev: I’ve got that thing after school. I should be done by 8, maybe 9.

  Sasha: I’ll go with you to the store, Pike.

  Tai: I’m at home already, I can cook something real to bring over if you just want to pick up snacks and drinks.

  Me: Are we having a fucking slumber party?

  Luka: Bring your jammies and plan on pillow forts and scary stories!

  Chapter Seventeen

  Sev

  I showed up at the gaming store a little early. Not just eager to play, but eager to see Azzie. I didn’t know what I hoped for except that she’d still let me in the game and she wasn’t the lifeless husk she’d been all day.

  Azzie was there, and obviously had been for awhile because she had all of her stuff set up already, but so was Mouse (in a different unicorn onesie) and Mr. Kalk— Ben. So was Ben.

  I approached the table, giving Azzie a small (and hopeful) smile. She bobbed her head at the chair on her left, and I stepped up to pull it out but Mouse slid forward in her seat and locked a foot around the chair leg.

  “No way, nuh-uh, pretty boy,” Mouse pointed at me then away. “Nothing to see here, move along.”

  “Matt dropped out, Mouse. His schedule changed. We have room.”

  “Maybe I don’t want him here,” she pouted, glaring at Azzie.

  “And when it’s your turn to be DM, you can make that call,” Azzie said, calm as anything, pointing at the chair again and I set my bag down. “For now, Sev is in.” She looked at me pointedly. “For now.”

  I nodded. I’ll take what I can get.

  “FINE!” Mouse shouted, startling me, and then she was out of her chair and running around the table, grabbing me in a tackle-hug that left me staggering back a few feet until I caught my balance. “But if you fuck up, I’ll kill you myself!” She said into my chest, and what could I do but agree? “Does this mean we have to wait for him to make a character?” she said, turning her head to face Azzie but still grappling me in a surprisingly strong grip, her unicorn horn poking me in the neck. “Do I have time to go get some ice cream?”

  “What level are you?” I asked. “I came in the other day asking about games and the guy behind the counter told me to make a couple characters in case there was an opening.”

  “Cool!” Ben said, setting out his dice in neat rows by color. “That’s perfect, we’re fourth. What do you have?”

  “Dwarf cleric or halfling bard at four,” I said.

  “Ice cream?” Mouse asked.

  The corner of Azzie’s mouth curled up despite her best efforts. “I would’ve expected an elf fighter, something pretty and simple.”

  I shook my head at her in mock disgust. “Don’t you know me—”

  “DO I HAVE TIME TO GET ICE CREAM?!” Mouse shouted into my shirt and Azzie sighed.

  “YES YOU DO, YOU PSYCHO,” she blared back. “When have I ever denied you ice cream? When haven’t I stopped, mid-fight, and allowed you to go get your peanut butter cup fix?”

  “That happened one time! It was a very stressful situation!”

  “GO!” Azzie shouted, pointing at the door, and Mouse released her death grip on me and took off running, then turned around and ran back.

  “You smell fantastic!” She said, smacking my ass and making me jump. “No wonder Azzie’s got it bad for you guys, you’re almost as hot as Pretty Boy!”

  “Thanks.” Azzie said, glaring at Mouse. “Fucking bitch.”

  “YOU LOVE ME!” She shouted across the store as she raced for the door.

  “BRING ME BACK A— goddammit. Do you think she heard me?”

  “She always brings you back something,” Ben said, looking at Azzie affectionately. “You two— don’t go scaring him off now, okay? You’re going to get a reputation.”

  “Yeah, as a DM with fucking standards,” Azzie barked back, but it was playful. “Admit it, you love when I bust everyone’s balls. Put those fucking soldiers in their place— oh, hi Sean!” She said sweetly, and the guy from Tuesday was there, in fatigues again, still looking like a paler, whiter Hulk.

  “Hi darlin’,” he said with a tired smile. “Who’s the fresh meat?”

  “Classmate,” she said, then amended it with “and friend. Sev Kolek, this is Sean Dixon. Sean, Sev.”

  “Sev?”

  “Short for Sevastien. My family is Polish but my grandfather was Russian. I’m named after him.”

  “Ahh, interesting. I’m like 60% Irish and then a mish-mash of about twenty other things. Azzie’s a pure blood though, right?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, my family was pretty much one hundred percent Czech. Not by design, it just kinda happened.”

  “So you say,” Sean teased her, and jealousy flared inside me. It was unexpected, and I didn’t like it one bit. “I get it, don’t want to admit you’re the product of some fucked up breeding program. I wouldn’t admit to it either.”

  “Yeah, like anyone would breed this,” she said with a self-deprecating tone that was steeped with bitterness. I gave the dude a look to stfu, but he was already back-pedaling.

  “You know I’m kidding,” he said with real sincerity, and she nodded, making a face at him. “And you know I adore you and you’re the best DM ever, and I’d never, ever, EVER do anything—”

  “Just dial it back there, chief, you’re fine,” she interrupted. “And I probably won’t kill you in-game for making disparaging remarks about my DEAD FAMILY.”

  He actually blushed, looking down at the table. I felt sorry for him for a second, so I said “Well, except for your aunt and uncle. And cousins. Right?”

  Now it was my turn for her grimace. “Uh, you mean my foster family? Yeah, no. No relation.”

  “Oh.” Well, shit. “Well this is awkward.”

  She pursed her mouth and flared her eyes. “You are.”

  “So you all know how I met Azzie?” I said, looking around the table which now included an out of breath Mouse clutching a paper bag to her chest. “She ran into me leaving class my first day, almost knocked me onto my face, and when I called her on it for not paying attention, she said she was distracted by checking out my ass. Then said it was three stars, might recommend.”

  The table exploded into laughter, even Azzie giggling and blushing. “I may have detracted points for your attitude. I’d give it at least three and three-quarters on its own merit.”

  “This is a five star ass and you know it,” I scowled at her. “You can bounce a quarter off this fucker!”

  “You can,” Mouse agreed. “Trust me, I smacked it. Perfect rebound. Firm yet flexible.”

  “TOO FAR, MOUSE,” Azzie’s face was bright re
d, and she was shaking her head with her eyes closed. It was delightful. She was back to grumpy, sarcastic, lively Azzie and I loved it.

  “What’s too far?” A new voice said, and I turned to see the two guys from last time, still in uniform too, pulling out chairs and setting down their things.

  “Oh good, Cy's here! Now I’m not the creepiest one in the room anymore!” Mouse stuck her tongue out at the taller one smiling broadly at her, a black guy in his mid-20s with dark hair and deeply carved laugh lines.

  “Don’t undersell yourself, sugar tits. You’re still the creepiest,” he flicked her horn and settled into his seat.

  “They aren’t made out of sugar,” Mouse informed him with a sneer. “They don’t melt in water. I stood in the rain for an hour with them hanging out and nothing, so there.”

  “Jesus,” Ben said under his breath. “Okay, can we try to tone it down a little? There are children at the table!”

  I couldn’t figure out who he was talking about at first, then realized he meant me and Azzie, and we both burst out laughing.

  “Really, Ben? Just who do you think she sent photographic proof to when they didn’t melt?” Azzie sputtered out, and Mouse nodded at him.

  “Pix or it didn’t happen,” she agreed, and by that point my stomach ached.

  “I think you broke the new guy,” the other one who wasn’t Cy said as I tried to catch my breath, but it wasn’t working out too well. He looked young but prematurely gray, salt and pepper hair with deeply tanned skin, possibly Hispanic. Not nearly as many laugh lines, and he seemed a bit annoyed with the conversation.

  “Rick, Cy, this is Sev. Class— uh, friend. And classmate. But friend.” Azzie tripped over her words, generating another hard blush.

  “Friend, eh?” Cy asked knowingly. “Special friend? Hmm? Doing the deed?”

  “And you think I’m creepier?” Mouse demanded, throwing her pencil at him. “Mind your own fucking business, Cyrus. If Azzie wants to fuck triplets, that’s nothing you need to be concerned with—”

  I lost my shit again, gasping for breath, as Azzie shouted “For the last time, I called them the fucking triplets! I didn’t say I WAS FUCKING TRIPLETS!”

  A cheer went up from the surrounding tables, and at least four people congratulated her on getting some. I was dying. Just flat-out dying.

  Two hours later, I really was dying.

  I’d underestimated how tough a vampire spawn could be, getting all cocky trying to repeatedly turn undead until I ran out while Azzie kept making the save, and then she was merciless.

  “That’s an 18!” she crowed after rolling her d20. “Where’s your god now, cleric? the vampire spawn mocks as he rakes his claws across your chest—” she rolled another die “— for four more points of slashing damage. The scent of your blood excites him, and he’s almost frantic as he lunges towards you again, seeking out what has been denied him so long. My master will reward me for ending you, insect! He circles around to your flank and away from the little hobbit that keeps hitting him. He’s moved away from you, Crowley,” she said, looking at Cy. “Do you want to make an attack of opportunity?”

  “Already used my reaction for uncanny dodge,” he cursed and gave me a sympathetic wince. “Sorry dude.”

  I shrugged. It happened. I wasn’t that attached to the character. Yet.

  “Okay, well I think we all know who he’s going to attack on his next turn, for that sweet, sweet cleric blood. You’re next in initiative, Aleska,” she pointed at Mouse. “Talk to me.”

  “Hmm,” Mouse contemplated me, tapping her pencil on her character sheet. “What to do. What to do… okay, fine, I’ll save your stellar ass. Casting. Channel divinity, Control the Undead. Little Strahd junior needs to make a Wisdom saving throw or be my bitch for 24 hours. And I do believe that Ben, er, Lumiel, cast Bane on your ass so go ahead and roll a d4 and subtract that from your roll.”

  “What’s my target number?”

  “Fifteen, bish. You’ll have to roll at least a thirteen and hope the d4 lands on a one.”

  “Umm, metagame much?” Azzie asked sarcastically, and Mouse grinned.

  “Oh, I could be much worse and you know it.”

  “Oh, I know.”

  “Do you?”

  “I do.”

  “Do you really?”

  “Don’t make me come over there.”

  “What are you going to do, Spazzie? Bleed on me?”

  “DANG!” Sean shouted out just as Rick crooned “Ooooh, buuuurrrrnnnn.”

  “Rocks fall on you, you’re all dead.”

  I was laughing again, and it felt like that’s all I’d done for the last couple of hours.

  By a huge margin, this was the most fun I’d ever had gaming — the most fun I’d had period in, oh, about four years. Azzie was masterful, the perfect mix of flavor and substance, and she guided us through the story as much as she challenged us. She was magnificent.

  We were playing the Curse of Strahd campaign, a gothic horror setting taking place in an inescapable pocket dimension ruled by a megalomaniacal Vampire Warlord with control issues. Our characters had been lured here at separate times by the Vistani, a race of Roma-like people who were potential allies or enemies, it was still unclear. The party found my dwarf Cleric of Light in the tavern in the Village of Barovia, drowning my sorrows at my god’s seeming abandonment because Strahd allowed no other deities in his domain, in a quickie intro for the character that got us right back into the action. She was so quick to adapt to anything we threw at her, taking it in and turning it into something exciting, atmospheric, and always, always pushing the story forward.

  She seemed… better. Here, at least, she was able to forget whatever was weighing on her, and in general, she wasn’t any different than the DM Azzie that I saw on Tuesday. She laughed, she teased, and she smiled, but every once in awhile, when the players were discussing something amongst ourselves, I’d see the mask drop and she’d look around the room with an expression of such profound sadness that my chest actually ached.

  I noticed Mouse watching her too, but when I caught her eye, she shook her head at me. I didn’t known what it meant, whether I should leave it alone or that she didn’t know what was going on. Whatever it was, I wanted to carry it for Azzie.

  She needed to talk to us, tell us what was going on so we could relieve as much of her burden as we could, because nothing can happen to her. Not now, not for a long, long time. I’d do everything in my power, I’d play every card and call in every favor, but I will keep her safe.

  We played for another hour, eventually taking down the vampire spawn after using Mouse’s control to question him thoroughly, and I could have kept going all night but Azzie was visibly wilting. Mouse had brought her a milkshake back with her own ice cream, and I’m not sure it was sitting well; she kept rubbing her side just under her ribs. I thought about what Luka had said about her diet, and wondered what aspect of the milkshake hurt her but I didn’t think she’d appreciate me asking.

  As we were packing up, Ben asked, “Need a ride home, Azzie? Christine is on patrol, I can give her a call to swing by and pick you up.”

  “She’s coming with me,” I said, a tad bit possessively. Azzie made a face while the soldiers around the table seemed to stiffen and look closer at me.

  “Ohhhhh, reeeeeeally?” Mouse drawled, sitting back and eyeing her friend. “What’s going on, Spazzie?”

  “Slumber party,” I answered for her, getting another glare. “Luka says blanket forts and scary stories, but I’m hoping for sweaty pillow fights and Truth or Dare.”

  “And what you’ll be getting is tired, hungry Azzie who’s been talking for a few hours straight and just wants to veg out.”

  “Home by midnight!” Mouse commanded in a parental tone.

  “Nope. Staying the night. Got the best sleep I’ve had in years the other night so I’m totally crashing in Sasha’s bed again.”

  “Oh damn, you really are fucking triplets!” Cy said, voice
thick with disbelief. “Didn’t think you had it in you!”

  “She’ll have it in her later,” Rick said crudely, and everyone turned to glare at him. “What? She’s already plugging some chick named Sasha, is it so hard to believe?”

  “Sasha’s a boy,” Azzie growled at the same time I said “Sasha’s a nickname for Aleksander.”

  “Wait, you named your character after your brother?” Azzie asked, incredulous.

  “Yeah, and I played him as a stubborn know-it-all. You didn’t make the connection?”

  “Is this Sasha one of the triplets you’re fucking?” Cy asked, and Azzie let out a gusty sigh.

  “Well, I’m done here,” she said and didn’t even argue when I reached for her bags. “Cy, Rick, plan on ugly-fucking-deaths next week, maybe another vampire spawn biting through your dicks. Something to look forward to.”

  “I see how it is,” Cy wheezed with laughter. “It’s okay when you’re giving shit to everyone else, but the second you start getting some and we mess with you, you violate your DM oath and take it out on our characters.”

  “First of all, there’s no DM oath, jackhole. And second, I’m still not getting some!” she shouted, and watching her stand her ground with these intimidating military men was giving me a semi. For a second, I pictured her facing off against my family. I’d pay cash money to watch that.

  “Well, the night is young,” I volunteered, and she turned on me.

  “You’re not helping, Sev!”

  “Not you, maybe, but Mouse is sure enjoying it.”

  Azzie turned towards her friend and found her literally munching on popcorn. No idea where she found it.

  “Mouse, you should come with us. You love slumber parties,” Azzie said a little desperately — I may have gone too far.

  “Got something to do tonight,” Mouse shrugged.

  “You can do it tomorrow—”

  “Nope. Gotta be tonight.”

  “What?”

  “None of your beeswax, bish. I’ll tell you tomorrow.”

  “Tell me now!”

  “Nope, top secret.”

  “You’re a massive pain in my ass, you know that?”