Vacant Voices (Blind Barriers Trilogy Book 3)

by Sophie Davis

  “I do. I do want to help you,” Asher was quick to assure me. “And I still will. I can still help you at Montauk.”

  I went on as though he hadn’t spoken. “You and I both know that you don’t agree with David’s business practices.”

  “That’s not—”

  “It is true,” I interjected. “You might have, once upon a time. When David started Montauk, when he was still focused purely on helping people with DID—people like your mother. Like his wife.”

  Asher’s nostrils flared, and the little color that had returned to his face fled, but he didn’t contradict me.

  “But something changed along the way. I’m guessing when you learned the truth about Montauk.” I was speculating, piecing together bits from all three of our memories. None of us knew the truth about Montauk, but we all knew it was more than an institution.

  “David helps people cope with some very serious mental illness,” Asher said stiffly.

  “I’m sure he does,” I agreed. “But at what cost? Ask yourself, Asher—has your father truly helped me? Are the experimental treatments he performs at Montauk ethical? Are they legal?” I paused for a beat before playing my trump card. “Is he even the one in charge any longer? Or is someone else pulling the strings? Like, maybe, the Hawk?”

  The Hawk was, of course, my nickname for the man who sat in the corner like a silent sentinel sent as the eyes and ears of some corporate puppeteer. Nonetheless, Asher knew exactly who I was talking about it, and it seemed I’d struck a nerve. His jaw clenched, as did his fists, but Asher didn’t speak. Gaze never leaving mine, a million emotions crossed his face at dizzying speed. Just when I thought for certain he was about to insist that all this could be sorted once I was safely back at Montauk in my padded cell under heavy sedation. I was so focused on his face, so sure that with Adam and Gabe physically standing between us, I was safe. By the time I saw the movement out of the corner of my eye it was too late. With his long arms and quick reflexes, Asher reached around the other guys easily. It happened so fast: the flash of Asher’s hand as it came toward me; the prick of the needle as it pierced my neck; the blackness that consumed me as my legs buckled; Adam’s screams and Gabe’s lunge toward Asher as I fell.

  “What the hell is going on?” Blake’s voice was the last sound I heard right before my head hit the carpet.

  The first time I regained consciousness, my head felt like it was stuck inside a Venus flytrap and the plant’s teeth kept chomping down on my skull. The world was moving all around me, and a dark haze clouded my vision. There were muffled voices in the distance, too soft to understand what they were saying, or even if the speakers were male or female. Someone’s hand covered mine. When my eyelids began to flutter, warm fingers squeezed mine and then I passed out.

  The next time I opened my eyes, darkness had set in. I heard a weird clicking noise, faint as though coming from a far corner of the room. But when I tried to follow the sound, I couldn’t see the source. In fact, I couldn’t see anything at all. Not shapes, not outlines, not my hand in front of my face.

  I’m blind, I thought frantically, feeling my face for my eyes as though maybe they were missing and that was the problem. There weren’t and it wasn’t. Okay, well that’s something.

  The clicking noise stopped abruptly. “Hey, easy, easy. Let me help you.”

  Gabe?

  The memory of Asher lashing out came rushing back as one hand circled my upper arm and another slid beneath my back. I flinched and shied away from the person leaning over me. My head still hurt, but at least the complete darkness prevented the world from swimming.

  “You’re okay. I’ve got you. Here, lean back against the pillows.”

  Was I hallucinating? Because it definitely sounded like Gabe speaking, but that wasn’t possible. Asher had drugged me and taken me back to Montauk, and Gabe wouldn’t be at Montauk. Unless Asher kidnapped him, too?

  “Who are you?” I asked, fighting to keep my voice from shaking.

  “Raven?” he replied.

  His feet made a scuffling sound as he backed away from the bed.

  “I asked you first,” I said.

  “It’s Gabe, Gabriel,” he said slowly. “Adam’s boyfriend. Do you know who Adam is?”

  I rolled the eyes I couldn’t see with in the direction of his voice. Gabe snorted as his footsteps continued to retreat. “It is you. How are you feeling?”

  “Oh, you know, great.” I shrugged. “I mean, unless you account for the fact I can’t see.”

  “I’m working on that,” Gabe assured me as if being blind wasn’t as big a deal as I was making it.

  “Are you a doctor now?” I snapped, annoyed by his flippancy.

  “No, still just a hacker.”

  The clicking started again Keys. He’s typing, I realized.

  “Your sight issue isn’t physical,” Gabe continued, but then seemed to reconsider. “Well, it’s not medical. Or maybe—”

  “What’s wrong with me?” I yelled before he could make another amendment to his original diagnosis. “And where am I? What happened after Asher knocked me out? You aren’t…you aren’t part of this, are you?” Then I remembered the last voice I’d heard before passing out. “Where’s Blake?”

  Gabe stopped typing, and I sensed his eyes on me. My head seemed a little clearer than it had when I first came to, and I realized I wasn’t scared. I was pissed. I was confused. I wanted to know what was going on. But I wasn’t scared.

  Your hands are free. So are your legs. You can think straight, which means you aren’t medicated. You’re free.

  “Do you want the entire story, or more like synopsis?” Gabe asked.

  “What’s wrong with me?” I repeated. “Why can’t I see?”

  I heard Gabe shift in his chair. “Have you ever noticed how Asher always knows what you’ve up to? How he always is one step ahead?” he asked.

  “Because there’s a whole team of Ashers out there. They probably have my phone bugged or something.” I’d been trying not to think about David’s surveillance. But now it seemed a lot more relevant all of a sudden.

  “Good guess, but no. A tracking device would only let them know where you are, not what you’re doing. Want to try again?”

  “No. I just want you to tell me,” I practically shouted. Why can’t he just tell me? Does he think all of this back and forth is funny?

  “You sure? How about one more guess?” Gabe pressed.

  I gritted my teeth. “Fine. Cameras. The Gibson Street apartment probably has hidden cameras in every room, and Asher must’ve installed ones at The Pines on one of his side trips over there. Am I right? Do I win back my eyesight?”

  Gabe laughed. “That’s a good one—the eyesight prize thing. And so is the guess. Sadly, no.” He hesitated, but then added, “Think pervier. A little more first-person narration.”

  “Gabe,” I snapped. Tears of frustration collected in the corners of my eyes, which Gabe completely misinterpreted.

  “Shit. Raven, I’m sorry.” This time it sounded like he rolled toward where I sat on the bed, like his chair had wheels. “Believe it or not, this is sort of what I was trying to prevent.”

  “Please, just tell me the truth,” I pleaded, blindingly reaching toward the sound of his voice.

  Gabe’s hands slid on either side of mine. “The cameras David uses to monitor you, they’re mounted on chips in your eyes.”

  Cameras in my eyes? Did he really just say that?

  He waited, presumably gauging my reaction, before continuing. “That was why Asher sedated you at The Pines. When you’re eyelids are closed, the cameras are blind. And deaf, but they’re always deaf.”

  Again Gabe paused, and I felt his scrutiny. Worried if he thought the information was too much for me he would stop talking, I was careful to keep my panic from showing on my face. I didn’t want to hear anymore, but I needed to hear it all. So, I let the Lila in me take over, let her numb the emotions I didn’t want to feel or deal with.

/>   “He wanted to keep you unconscious until we could figure out a work around,” Gabe continued finally. “Which I did. At least a temporary solution. Just until I can turn off the chip completely.”

  It took me longer than it should have to figure out what Gabe wasn’t saying. Once I did, however, keeping my expression blank was no longer possible. “You’re the reason I’m blind?”

  “Temporarily blind,” he corrected.

  His hesitancy to get to the point early suddenly made sense.

  “Once I disable the chips completely, you’ll be able to see,” Gabe hurried on.

  “How much longer before that happens?” I demanded.

  Gabe’s response was cut off by the rattle of a door handle and the creak of hinges. My head whipped around as several sets of footsteps entered the room.

  “You’re awake.”

  Blake, I thought, my heart feeling a little lighter if just for a moment. The bed dipped. Lips brushed my cheek. I didn’t flinch. I knew they belonged to Blake. I’d felt his presence the second he walked in.

  “Is it Raven?” I heard someone I thought was Asher ask.

  “Yeah, for he most part,” Gabe replied.

  Resting his forehead against the side of my head, Blake wrapped an arm around my shoulders and spoke softly. “How are you doing?” he asked.

  “Okay, I think,” I said just as softly, curling into Blake’s warmth.

  Someone cleared his throat, and then I recognized Asher’s voice. “Raven, first let me say I am sorry about knocking you out,” he began.

  “Can we have a minute alone?” Blake interjected. It sounded like a question, but he tone left little doubt that he’d accept no for an answer.

  “We don’t have a lot of time,” Asher warned.

  “Five minutes,” Blake promised.

  “Five minutes,” Asher repeated.

  Neither Blake nor I spoke until the others left the room. Once the door clicked shut, and Asher and Gabe’s muffled voices were no longer audible on the other side, I collapsed against Blake completely. His arms gave me comfort, and I didn’t feel the need to hide my true feelings. It wasn’t long before the waterworks started.

  The tears weren’t born of fear, because I still wasn’t scared. Shock had made me numb inside initially, but now I just felt overwhelmed…and an overwhelming sense of betrayal.

  “It’s okay. I’m here. We’re going to get through this together,” Blake soothed, cradling to his side and rocking us back and forth. “How much did Gabe tell you?”

  Wiping my face with the back of my hand, I mumbled, “Not much. Really only that he’s the reason I can’t see.”

  “It’s temporary,” Blake replied quickly.

  “Yeah, he told me that, too,” I sniffled.

  “Gabe will be able to turn off the power to the chip soon. Right now, the fact that it’s on, and that Gabe was able to do his computer voodoo and make it look like you’re asleep and headed north on I-95 toward New York, is the only reason none of Asher’s coworkers are hunting us yet.” My nod must’ve been enough of a response to let Blake know I was listening and understanding him, because after a brief pause he continued. “In addition to the cameras, I guess there are sensors to monitor your body functions and location. Once you were unconscious, Asher told the rest of us about the chip and the sensors. He also claims he’s been editing the camera footage before uploading it to David, so his father doesn’t realize how much you know.”

  Blake paused for air and used the opportunity to wipe the remaining wetness from my cheeks. I used the lull in conversation to ask, “Do you believe him?”

  I didn’t need to see Blake to know that he was divided, which made two of us. For me, Asher’s claims made sense from a self-preservation standpoint. We’d discussed a range of topics, including Asher’s family life, since day one. Even when Asher had still been lying about his father’s profession, his feelings for the man were clear. Then there was the night he got me drunk, which at the very least was unprofessional, but there was probably some rule about furloughed mental patients with severe personality disorders having alcohol.

  Oh, no. The kiss. No. No. No. Please, please, let Asher have deleted the footage from that night.

  “I think I do,” Blake final conceded, either oblivious to the sudden spike in my blood pressure or misattributing the cause. “Even before Asher was finished telling us about the chip, Gabe started hacking it.” He cleared his throat again, nerves creeping into his tone when he started talking again. “We all—Adam, Gabe, Asher, and I—agreed that Asher would call David and give him the fake story about the two of you being headed back to Montauk to buy time. But, Gabe underestimated the difficulty of the chips encryption, and by the time he realized he wouldn’t be able to crack it in under ten minutes, we had to amend our plan.”

  “You decided to keep me unconscious so Gabe wouldn’t have to trick the sensors?” I guessed.

  “Yeah, mostly,” Blake agreed.

  “Mostly?” I repeated.

  What’s the restly?

  Blake sighed heavily. “For the record, I really didn’t want to keep you out this long. But Asher pointed out that after receiving such a strong sedative, if we woke you up before the effects wore off, there was no telling who would be in control and how cooperative she might be.” His voice was lower when he added, “I’m sorry. We couldn’t risk it.”

  “I get it,” I replied stiffly. And I did. I didn’t like it, but logically it was the best decision. “Then what happened? Where are we? What happens next?”

  “You’ve been out for approximately five hours. According to Asher, Montauk is at most a six hour drive from D.C. Gabe keeps making it look like you guys are stuck in stop and go traffic, so that’s helping, too. We can’t stall much longer, though. Maybe another ninety minutes if we’re lucky. Too much longer than that and David will know something’s wrong.”

  “Won’t he also know when we don’t show up?” I interjected. This seemed like a fatal flaw in an already flawed plan. Though I was impressed they’d created, and agreed on, a plan at all, since I was still certain that Asher hadn’t come to The Pines to help me escape. It was my comments about David losing control of Montauk and the Hawk that had flipped his loyalties.

  “Yes, I’m getting to that,” Blake said patiently. “In about one hour, Asher will turn off his phone—yours is already off—and he’ll cut all communication. Asher says his father is a suspicious man who is likely to send out the troops after the first calls goes straight to voicemail. Then,” I felt him shift beside me, “Asher believes David will inform the Kingsleys that you’re missing, probably spin it to sound as though Asher kidnapped you.” Clearing his throat, he finished by saying, “Or not, because David has the videos of Kingstown. He no longer needs to play nice. Those videos will make sure the Kingsleys continue to fund David’s experiments in perpetuity, whether he’s treating you or not.”

  I dared to hope that this was good news—that if David had his money he wouldn’t care about me. If only. Even without Lila’s voice inside my head, I would have realized my own naiveté. Still, my voice was a little brighter than it should’ve been when I asked, “I don’t suppose with all the blackmailing and extortion anyone will have time to come after me, will they?”

  Blake didn’t laugh. “Asher says you pose too big risk for them to let you truly disappear.”

  “Oh, right.” Somehow, despite my jokes about the situation, I’d managed to overlook a fundamental problem: I did have issues that required treatment.

  “It’s not what you think,” Asher said.

  Having not heard the door open, I jumped at the sound of his voice.

  “None of your alters are violent. It’s what you know about Kingsleys Diamonds and the Montauk Institute that makes you dangerous,” Asher clarified.

  I don’t know anything about Montauk, I thought. But that wasn’t entirely true. One of us knew something about the experiments; one of us knew personal information about David an
d Asher; Lark knew about the habits and rituals of the inpatients and guards. Collectively, our memories likely held an entire accounting of Montauk’s secret.

  “So what am I supposed to do in an hour when your father and my parents come looking for me?” I asked Asher.

  “The FBI agent I told you about. He’ll come here to talk to you, if you agree. The FBI can keep you safe.”

  I wasn’t sure I believed that entirely, but what were my other options? Go forward alone? Release the video footage to the media? Hide with the money I had in the bank at First National? It was more than enough to get step up somewhere, which I’d already done once. And I didn’t want to be Lark Kingsley ever again anyway.

  “You can’t just runaway. David will find you. Only the authorities can keep you safe from him,” Asher insisted.

  “Where are my parents?” I asked.

  “In D.C. right now,” Gabe answered, “but not for too much longer probably. They have a car on standby to take them to a private airfield in Alexandria, Virginia. Flight plan says they’re headed back to Manhattan, but my guess is they’re just waiting to hear back from David.”

  I didn’t ask how he knew the specifics, part of me didn’t want to know.

  “Where are we?”

  “Seedy motel just outside the beltway,” Gabe replied.

  Ewww. Suddenly, the pillows behind my back and the sheets beneath my legs made my skin crawl.

  “I still want to see them. I need to see them,” I said, already nudging Blake in the hip so I could get out of bed. He didn’t budge. “I’m going to see them whether you guys agree or not.”

  Someone laughed loudly. “You’ve been blind for like twenty minutes. How do you expect to get anywhere without us?” Gabe asked.

  “Raven, if you go see them at their hotel…the Kingsleys aren’t going to let you leave,” Asher said.

  “I am going to see my parents,” I emphasized every word.

  No one replied at first, but finally I heard the rattle of keys, and Blake said, “Let’s go.”