“Gone are the nights when you’d get done at one or two in the morning, huh?” is how she answers.
I can’t help but laugh. “We aren’t the headliners of this tour We play for about an hour and then we drive to our next stop.”
“Where are you?”
“Ohio. We have a couple more shows and then I’ll have a two-day break. That’s when I’ll come back.”
“You seriously don’t have to, Ajay. Harvey is stupid. I told my dad to fix what he did.”
“I want to, Whiskey.”
“Why bother?”
Because I remembered how much I love you. “Because I have a lot to make up for and even though we’ll be divorced in three months, I’d like us to at least be friends,” I say, knowing full well I’m lying to her. I have no intentions of being her friend. I want a second chance with her even though I don’t deserve one.
“If I tell you we can be friends, will that change your mind?”
“Not in the slightest, Whiskey Girl.”
She sighs and I laugh. “I promise to be that super annoying friend that only comes around when his schedule permits. Besides, if I ditch out, what kind of man does that make me?”
“So, this is a way to fix your image?”
“Only in your eyes. You’re the only one that matters to me.”
She goes quiet before saying, “I don’t want you to get your hopes up, Ajay. You and I, we have vastly different lives and don’t fit together like we once did.”
All I have is hope. “No hope here, just doing my part to make sure Harvey signs off on our divorce. Three months, Whiskey, and then we’ll be on opposite coasts, texting each other late at night when the mood strikes.”
“I have to go, Ajay.” She hangs up before I can tell her goodnight or that I’ll call her again tomorrow and the next day and that I’ll see her soon.
I’m still holding my phone when Keane walks in. “Am I interrupting?”
“Nah, man. Just listening to some music.” He doesn’t say anything as he crawls into his bed. I do turn some music on to drown out the noises from the bus, and against my better judgement, open Facebook, and search for Jamie’s profile. Her name yields no results, so I look for Bailey’s restaurant page and find a few pictures of her there. I type in Dhara’s name and find a ton more photos, some of which are with a little girl who always seems to be holding Whiskey’s hand or be in her arms. I stare at the angelic face, trying to figure out who she is and who she looks like. I see a lot of Whiskey in her, but surely, she’d tell me if she had a daughter. Studying the girl for a little longer, I find myself wondering what our child would look like. Would he or she be tall like me, have Whiskey’s hair, my eyes… or look just like this little girl in the photo.
I end up saving a few of the pictures and setting one of Whiskey as my screensaver. Hers is the face that I want to stare at until I fall asleep.
18
Jamie
The early morning knock at my door sends my heart into a frenzy. I never asked Ajay how he got my number. I wanted to, but in the end, it seemed like a moot point. I’m required to spend time with him so it’s conceivable that his lawyer gave him my number, which he likely got from Fletcher, which under different circumstances would call for me maiming my good friend. Lucky for him, since this whole thing was beyond his control, if it was Fletcher, I’ll forgive him. However, if anyone told Ajay where I live, all bets are off. I hesitate before twisting the knob and opening the door slightly. I’m not ready to let Ajay into my life, that much I know. We can meet occasionally and have a cup of coffee together but hanging out at my house is out of the question. Mostly because this is my space and he’s never been a part of it, but more importantly because of Evelyn. I’m concerned about his reaction in regard to my daughter when I know I shouldn’t be.
Thankfully, when I peer through the tiny crack, it’s Logan. He’s holds up a white bag which can only mean fresh cinnamon rolls from the bakery he passes by on his way here.
“Do I get to come in?” he asks.
“I don’t know. I suppose it depends on what’s in the bag.”
He laughs. “As if I’d come first thing in the morning without breakfast.” He’s right, he wouldn’t. I swing the door open and step aside as he enters.
“Logan!” Evelyn screams his name as she comes running out of her room. He bends down to pick her up and sets her on his hip as he continues toward the kitchen. I follow, watching the two of them interact. He sits her on the counter and opens the cupboard to grab some plates.
“Did you shoot your gun this week?” she asks him. While Logan and I have been seeing each other, whenever he’s with Evelyn, they talk about his job and her schooling as if what she did during the week was work too.
“I didn’t.”
“It’s going to get rusty, ya know. My grandpa says you have to take care of your piece.”
Logan chuckles. He helps her get down from the counter and takes all three plates into the dining room. “I’ll make sure to shoot it when I get back to base. Tell me, how was work this week? Any new co-workers?”
Evelyn shakes her head. “Nope, but we had a substitute. What would they be called?”
Logan pretends to think for a moment. “Oh, I think we’d call them a ‘temporary employee’.”
“Yes, one of those. She wasn’t very nice, which is probably why she doesn’t get to work every day.”
I snort and Logan chokes on his sip of coffee. “Could be,” he says through gasps of air. “Or maybe she hasn’t found the right job.”
Evelyn shrugs and takes a bite of her roll. “My boss says we’re getting a new co-worker next week.”
“Who did they hire?” he asks her.
“Dunno. Probably another boy. You know boys have cooties, Logan, don’t you?”
“Yes,” he says, sighing. “I’m fully aware.”
“Logan, did you know that I have a loose tooth?”
“I did not.” He leans closer to her. “Let me see.”
My daughter opens her mouth, which has left over cinnamon roll pieces in it, and puts her finger on her tooth. I look as well because this is news to me and sure enough, there’s a little wiggle.
“You know what this means?”
“What?” Logan asks.
“That the tooth fairy is coming back!” She throws her hands up in the air.
Logan leans toward her again and in a quiet voice asks her, “Is your room clean?” I want to high-five Logan so much right now. He’s been on the receiving end of many late-night calls with me frustrated over Evelyn’s room. Every month I go in there and throw random toys out, pack old clothes and donate them, and still it’s like her toys procreate when I’m at work. I don’t get it.
She huffs and rolls her eyes. “No, but it will be when my tooth comes out. I’m broke.” This time I’m the one choking on my coffee. She looks at me like I’ve insulted her or something. I stand, kiss her on her forehead and start clearing plates.
“Evelyn, do you want to go somewhere fun?” I hear Logan ask her.
“Dunno, Mommy has to work.”
“Not until later tonight,” he tells her. “Today, we are going to the fair!” I imagine that her eyes are wide, and her mouth has dropped open. Every time she sees the commercial, she asks if we can go.
“Will they have lions and tigers?”
“No, that’s the zoo or the circus,” I interject as I come around the corner.
“Oh,” she says as her face falls.
“But there will be horses, cows, chickens and baby goats,” Logan starts to tell her.
“Like the baby goats in the funny videos?”
He nods and smiles happily at her. “Why don’t you go get ready?”
“What about rides?” she asks as she gets down from her chair. “Rides, right?”
“A bunch of them,” I say. “Make sure you put on your walking shoes. We’ll be doing lots of walking and Logan isn’t carrying you.”
“We’ll se
e!” she yells as she runs off to her room.
“You’re not carrying her.” I turn to him, only to find him grinning from ear to ear.
“She’s lighter than my Rucksack.” He puts his hands up in the air. I know I’ve lost this battle before it’s even begun.
As soon as Evelyn’s ready to go, we pile into Logan’s truck, which she declares is much cooler than mom’s car. I think she likes it because he has to lift her up into it and she can see everything when she’s up high. Not to mention he lets her play with the windows, which is something I won’t let her do.
The drive to the fairground takes about forty-five minutes and during this time, Evelyn asks if we’re there yet, approximately twenty-eight point five times. I grow tired of the question and cut her off half way through her last one, telling her Logan will turn around and go home if she asks again. Surprisingly, this works in my favor, although I expect her to call my bluff.
And of course, as soon as Logan parks and opens the door for Evelyn, he turns so she can hop on his back. I half expect my daughter to stick her tongue out at me for getting her way.
“This place is amazing,” she says after we get our tickets. “There’s so much to do.”
“It’s a complete sensory overload,” I say quietly to Logan. He winks and hikes Evelyn up higher onto his back. “Why don’t you walk for a bit? Logan will carry you when you’re tired.”
“Promise, Logan?”
“Have I ever broken a promise to you?”
She shakes her head, slides down his back and reaches for both our hands. We decide to start with the crafts, to see what everyone has brought to sell. We sample jams, mustards, and other homemade foods. Logan tries to convince me that I need the newest knife set that will cut through a tree, and Evelyn is convinced she needs every piece of jewelry she can touch.
It’s when we get to the food trucks that I’m truly happy. Fried dough, deep fried Oreo’s, corn dogs… there’s a method to my madness, it’s all stuff I won’t eat at home, but at the fair it’s fair game.
Speaking of games, each time we see one, Logan wants to play. The three-point shooting game is an epic fail, however, he wins the hammer one on his first try, earning a stuffed dog for Evelyn. I call veto when he tries to win a fish unless he plans to take it back to base. This starts a whole round of ‘Can we get a dog?’ questions from Evelyn. And when we come to the game where I can shoot the clown in the mouth, I happily slap money down.
Evelyn sits between Logan and me. The three of us are poised, our water guns are aimed, and we’re ready to blow up the balloon. This game and darts are really the only ones I’m good at.
The buzzer sounds and I’m squeezing the trigger, wishing that the water would come out faster. When the alarm sounds, I look up to see if my light is spinning. It is!
“Woohoo!” I stand and start jumping up and down, much to Evelyn’s dismay. I don’t let it deter me and continue to dance as if I’ve the lottery.
“Mommy, you have to pick your prize.” I tell the young guy working that I’ll take the elephant.
As we leave the game, Evelyn takes my hand. She rubs her face against my arm and looks at up. “Mommy?” she asks sweetly.
I crouch down so we’re eye level. I’m a master at her game and pretend to have concern for her right now. “What’s wrong, sweetie? Do you have an upset tummy? Are you tired?”
“No,” she says, falling into me. “Do you love me?”
Logan laughs loud enough for us to hear him. “You know I do.”
She falls more into my arms. “Can I have your elephant?” she whispers into my ear.
I stand, forcing her upright. I have every intention of giving her the stuffed animal but now that she’s trying to guilt me into it, I’m going to torture her a little first.
“I won this. He’s mine.”
She drops her head, but not before I see her lower lip jut out. “Okay, I’ll be happy with the doggie that Logan won for me, but maybe your elephant and my doggie can be friends?”
“I think my elephant would like that.”
Her sour mood lasts a whole five seconds when we enter the ride area. Logan buys a book of tickets that costs more than a week of groceries. We wait in line with Evelyn so she can ride the motorcycles. Once it’s her turn, Logan secures her on the seat and comes out to stand next to me.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
I look at him funny and shake my head.
“I know you better than you know yourself, something’s on your mind.”
“I wouldn’t even know where to start.” I wrap my arms around the elephant and hug it with all that I have. “Life has thrown me a bit of a curveball.”
“Can I help?”
“I don’t think so,” I sigh. “Do you remember when we first met, and I told you that it wasn’t Evelyn’s father who hurt me but someone I never wanted to talk about that did?”
I look at Logan. He nods so I continue. “That guy is back, no thanks to my dad and a grudge he’s held onto for years. Old memories have resurfaced and the other night I went through a box of stuff that I had kept and turns out that—”
“Mommy, Logan, look at me!” Evelyn goes by and we wave at her.
“Turns out what?”
“That I’m married,” I say, holding eye contact with him.
His eyebrows shoot up, his lips purse and he grabs ahold of the fence that we’re leaning against.
“We got married when I turned eighteen. It didn’t last long. I made him sign divorce papers and then it seems that I never filed them. I tried to the other day, but small-town politics are getting in the way.” I continue to tell Logan the sordid details. Everything from my dad arresting my ex, to throwing him in jail, to Harvey being utterly ridiculous with this sentencing.
Logan doesn’t say much except that he’s sorry and will do anything he can to play mediator between Ajay and me, if that’s what I want. That’s not exactly the reaction I’m looking for. I fully expect him to fight for me, to tell me to ignore Harvey’s sentence because I’m supposed to be Logan’s girlfriend, but it’s like he’s giving up without even trying. Either I’ve been way off base about our relationship or it’s clear we’ve run our course and it’s best that we remain friends. I don’t know what to think right now but am very thankful that I have Logan to lean on.
Every ride, he waits in line with Evelyn and makes sure she’s secure before the ride starts. He tells me he doesn’t trust the ride operator to do their job and I don’t either which is why I’ll never get on a ride at the fair that spins or goes upside down. I don’t feel safe if I can’t climb out just in case anything happens.
When Evelyn’s exhausted all her tickets, Logan picks her up and ushers us to the exit. She’s tired, my mood is shot to hell, and I know his is as well.
We’re almost to the exit when my blood turns cold. Coming toward me, with his wife and children, is Evelyn’s father. Logan’s by my side, whispering in my ear to keep walking, to just ignore what I see, but I can’t. My daughter deserves to know her father and her siblings. It’s not her fault that her father is a liar and a cheat.
We make eye contact. He looks from me to Logan, and then to the back of his sleeping daughter’s head. But he doesn’t stop. He never stops. And even as I watch him walk by, he turns and gives us one more look before he returns his focus to his family… the only family that matters to him.
19
Ajay
Harrison and Liam are by my side as we wait in the private lobby for their jet to be ready. The three of us are standing at the large window with our sunglasses on, almost as if we were spies. What a fun job that would be, traveling around and doing covert missions. Maybe in another life because the one I’m currently living is booked solid between gigs and spending time in Bailey.
“If you need anything, call me,” Harrison says.
“Or me,” Liam adds. “I’ll be less fatherly, but you can still call if you need someone to talk to. I know a thing or two
about being young, in love, and fighting for the woman you want to be with.”
“So do I.” Harrison leans forward and looks at Liam but unfortunately, I can’t see his eyes.
Liam scoffs. “What do you know? You met Katelyn, wooed her, she got upset for a whole two minutes and forgave you. What Ajay’s going through — I’ve been there, man — not you!”
Harrison waves Liam off. “You think you know everything.”
“More than you,” he mumbles. I try not to laugh but the two of them are pretty funny together. Add JD to the mix and it’s a downright party with side aching laughter.
“All I’m saying is that I loved, lost, loved again and wifed Josie up as fast as I could because I wasn’t letting her go.”
“Wifed her up?” Harrison looks confused. “I think you’ve been hanging around the kids to much. Wifed her up,” he mutters, shaking his head.
“When did you and Katelyn get married?” I ask him.
“Ha! They’re not.”
“We are… by law.”
This time it’s Liam waving Harrison off. “Common law, whatever.”
“Wait, you’re not married? But Elle has your last name.”
“Katelyn and I decided a long time ago that neither of us wanted to get married. I think it makes us both work harder at our relationship to be honest. I adopted the twins when they were little, about six years old and she adopted Quinn.”
“You can do that?” I ask. “Just adopt other people’s kids?”
Harrison takes his sunglasses off and turns so he’s facing me. “Peyton and Elle’s dad—”
“My childhood best friend to be exact,” Liam adds.
“His name was Mason. He died in a car accident when the girls were five. Liam had come back to his hometown for the funeral and decided to stay. Quinn and I came to see him for Christmas that year… and well, the rest is history. And Quinn’s mom gave up her rights to him, paving the way for Katelyn to adopt him.”
I nod slowly. “I think it all makes sense, at least a little bit. Peyton, what does she do? Elle and Quinn talk about her every now and again.”
Fighting For Our Forever: The Beaumont Series: Next Generation Page 12