Evie's Job

by Tess Mackenzie

  Natalie was having fun. She decided she wanted to do this with Evie more often.

  It was going well, until Natalie’s office rang, and said she needed to come back because a meeting had been moved up. Natalie was disappointed, but explained to Evie, and said she was sorry, she had to go, but she would drop Evie off wherever she liked.

  “It’s fine,” Evie said. “I can walk.”

  “I really don’t mind.”

  “I’m fine. Go.”

  Natalie nodded, and leaned over the table and kissed Evie, then, half-distracted by work and not entirely thinking, she said, “I can give you money for a taxi if you like.”

  “Don’t be stupid.”

  “It’s only a taxi.”

  “If I wanted a taxi I’d get one. But I want to walk.”

  Natalie nodded, then remembered Evie’s textbooks, still in the back of her car front yesterday.

  “Do you need your books?” she said.

  “In your car?”

  Natalie nodded.

  “Are they okay there?” Evie said.

  “Yes.”

  “I’ll get them later.”

  “Later?” Natalie said, half teasing, half seeking reassurance.

  “Um, yeah, later tonight? Won’t I?”

  “Of course,” Natalie said, and kissed her again. “Bye.”

  “Bye,” Evie said, and sipped her coffee as she watched Natalie go.

  *

  On Wednesday, after work, Evie arrived at Natalie’s door, wearing a party dress, holding a coat she must have just taken off, with her hair up in an elaborate untidy bun. She looked formal. She looked like she was on the way somewhere special.

  “Where did you come from?” Natalie said, and kissed her.

  “Home.”

  Natalie was puzzled. “All right, then where are you going?”

  “Here?”

  Natalie looked at her. She reached out and touched the fabric on Evie’s hip, and twisted it between her fingers. “What’s this for?”

  “Oh,” Evie said, and grinned. “I felt like it, is all.”

  Natalie smiled. She understood completely. “Of course you did,” she said. She pulled Evie closer, and kissed her again.

  “And I thought I should look the part,” Evie said, into her mouth.

  “What part?”

  “You know, the part. Your mistress.”

  Natalie laughed.

  “I mean it,” Evie said.

  “I know you do,” Natalie said. “That’s what’s funny.”

  Evie grinned, and stepped back from Natalie. She went and draped her coat over a sofa, and stepped out of her shoes, and then walked into the kitchen, where they always seemed to end up standing. Natalie followed, and poured them both wine. Evie sipped a little, a mouthful, and kissed Natalie again. Then she turned around. “Unzip me?” she said.

  “Already?”

  “Why not?”

  “You only just got here. I’m still looking at the dress.”

  Evie smiled.

  “It’s a nice dress,” Natalie said.

  “That’s a nice suit.”

  Natalie shrugged.

  “Now unzip me,” Evie said.

  Natalie didn’t move.

  “Please?” Evie said.

  “You’re impatient.”

  “I’m impatient,” Evie said. “And I want you. So unzip me, please.”

  Natalie smiled, and did, and tried to remember how long it had been since she’d last done that for somebody. Meredith had stopped asking years ago, and just reached backwards herself, and now she was wondering about it, Natalie didn’t quite know why. Whether Meredith had started wearing different kinds of clothes, or had got more flexible, or had just decided not to bother asking any more since she could have reached on her own all along.

  Natalie unzipped Evie, and kissed Evie’s neck as she did, and Evie pushed the dress off her shoulders and kissed Natalie in the lounge, in view of all the windows, and sipped her wine.

  Natalie stood there looking at her.

  “What?” Evie said.

  Natalie shook her head.

  Evie smiled, and took Natalie’s hand, and led her into the bedroom.

  *

  On Thursday night, very late, after work, after sex, Natalie lay on the bed, hugging Evie.

  Natalie liked this moment. She liked feeling the warmth of someone else’s body, and the shared niceness of having made each other come. She liked the odd, disjointed intimacy of having watched each other, of having seen each other’s faces as they did. She held Evie, and stroked her, and felt deeply content.

  Evie got up and had a cigarette in the bathroom, and then came back to bed. Natalie moved her arm when Evie got up, and again when Evie lay down, and then went back to gently stroking. Evie was warm, and her skin slippery soft, and she was breathing very softly.

  Natalie lay where she was, slowly stroking, exhausted from working all day. The evening was quiet. The apartment was quiet. Everything seemed very still. There was hardly any sound in the bedroom, and barely even traffic noise from outside. Natalie closed her eyes, not really intending to sleep, just to lie there and feel Evie.

  She thought she dozed. She might have dozed. She felt like she had, ever so briefly. She looked at the clock, and wasn’t sure, but it seemed like too long had passed since she’d last noticed the time.

  “It’s late,” Evie said, after a while. “I should go.”

  “You don’t need to.”

  Evie rolled sideways, and looked back at Natalie. “This again?”

  Natalie shrugged.

  “I was here last night.”

  “You were.”

  “And the night before.”

  “Yes.”

  Evie thought. “And the one before that, too, I think. Wasn’t I?”

  “I like you being here.”

  “And I like being here, but I ought to go home sometimes. I can’t just keep staying here.”

  “Why not?”

  Evie thought. “I don’t know.”

  “Do you actually have anywhere you have to go?” Natalie said. “Anywhere you need to be?”

  “Not really.”

  “So stay.”

  Evie seemed to be thinking.

  “You have before,” Natalie said.

  “I know. I could. If you wanted me to.”

  “I do. Do you want to?”

  Evie nodded.

  “Then stay.”

  Evie lay there for a while. She seemed sleepy as well. “All right,” she said. “But I have to go home sometime soon.”

  “Of course,” Natalie said. “Are you ready for bed?”

  Evie nodded.

  “You don’t want water or anything?”

  “I should brush my teeth.”

  “You should,” Natalie said. “But I’m not. I can’t be bothered.”

  “I can’t either.”

  “So no?”

  “No,” Evie said.

  Natalie switched off the bedside light. Evie was still for a moment, then she opened her mouth. Natalie heard it, somehow, in the darkness.

  “Don’t say it,” Natalie said.

  “Don’t say what?”

  “Goodnight. If you were going to.”

  “I was. But why not?”

  Natalie thought. She wasn’t sure either. “I don’t know,” she said. “Just don’t. Just lie there, like were both awake, like we’ll stay here like this forever.”

  “Okay,” Evie said, and lay still for a while. “I want to say something so I know we’ve stopped.”

  “Something,” Natalie said, and Evie laughed.

  “Or nothing,” Natalie said. “Just like there.”

  “I will,” Evie said.

  “Don’t say it.”

  “I won’t.”

  There was a silence, which seemed to last. Neither of them spoke. Evie moved a little, shifting slightly, pressing herself against Natalie. Natalie stoked Evie until her breathing changed, and she
seemed to be asleep, then held her until she fell slept herself.

  14: Natalie

  On Friday morning, Natalie woke first. She slipped out of bed carefully, needing to get ready for work, but wanting to try and let Evie sleep as long as possible. She showered, then dressed as quietly as she could, opening the wardrobe and drawers gently, and taking the hairdryer through to the spare bedroom before she switched it on. She worried about the noise, but it didn’t actually seem to matter. Evie was deeply asleep, and hadn’t moved by the time Natalie finished dressing.

  Natalie went into the kitchen and made coffee and toast, wondering whether to wake Evie, or just to go off to work. She was worried Evie might have lectures she needed to be up for, and would sleep through them if Natalie left her. She ought to have asked before they fell asleep, she thought, but it was too late now. She decided she ought to wake Evie and check. She took coffee with her, hoping to make it less unpleasant, and went though and sat on the edge of the bed. She stroked Evie’s hair, trying to wake Evie gently, but Evie just murmured a little and turned over.

  Natalie stroked again, and said quietly, “Do you want to wake up, or should I let you sleep.”

  Evie stirred, and opened her eyes. “Hey,” she said. “Um, what?”

  “Do you want to wake up? Or just stay asleep.”

  Evie looked at her, and seemed confused.

  “I need to go to work,” Natalie said. “You can either stay asleep, or come with me, whichever you like.”

  “Okay,” Evie said, which wasn’t really an answer.

  Natalie waited a moment, but Evie closed her eyes again.

  “Hey,” Natalie said. “I just want to make sure. Do you need to be awake? Or do you want me to let you sleep?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Would you like a ride home?” Natalie said.

  Evie mumbled something. She seemed to be awake enough to hear Natalie, perhaps awake enough to listen, but she wasn’t actually answering Natalie’s questions. Natalie wasn’t sure what to do. She didn’t want to abandon Evie, if Evie needed to go somewhere, but she also didn’t want to just offer Evie money for a taxi again, not when talking about money was still so potentially awkward. Natalie sat there, stroking Evie, waiting. After a moment she said, “Evie…?”

  “Yep,” Evie said. “I’m awake.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yep. I’ll get up.” Evie sat up, quite abruptly. “I’m awake,” she said. “I’m coming.”

  Natalie held out the coffee cup uncertainly, not sure if Evie was actually awake, but Evie took it sleepily and sipped. Evie mumbled something that might have been thank you, and sipped again, and yawned.

  “I don’t want to hurry you,” Natalie said. “But I need to get going.”

  Evie nodded. “I’m getting up.”

  “You can just stay if you want to,” Natalie said. “If that’s easier?”

  “Nope,” Evie said. “I’m up.” She put the coffee cup on the bedside table, and slid out of bed. She was quick, once she started moving. Natalie was quite impressed, since she wasn’t quick in the mornings at all. Evie slid of bed, and pulled on her dress and underwear, and went into the ensuite, zipping herself up, to splash water on her face.

  She yawned again, then stopped, and looked at herself in the mirror. “Fuck,” she said. “I look a bit walk of shame, don’t I?”

  “Not really.”

  Evie pointed. “My hair’s all... everywhere. And the dress. And I didn’t take my eyeliner off.”

  “You look wonderful.”

  “I really don’t.”

  Natalie tried to be reassuring. “Well, you’re only going home…”

  “Um, yep, that’s sort of the point.”

  “Do you want to borrow something?”

  “Nah,” Evie said. “It doesn’t matter that much. It’s the makeup, really, not the dress.”

  “Honestly, if you’d like to?”

  Evie shook her head. She kept standing where she was. Natalie waited for a moment, feeling herself becoming impatient, then made herself stop. Evie had only been awake for a minute or two.

  “Do you want anything to eat?” Natalie said, hoping that was a hint.

  “I’m fine,” Evie said, glaring at the mirror. She started fiddling with her hair.

  “I’m sorry,” Natalie, unable to stop herself. “But could we go? Would you mind?”

  “Um, hold on,” Evie said, and pushed the bathroom door closed. Then shouted through it, “Get your stuff. I’ll be quick.”

  Natalie put on her shoes, and her suit jacket, and went into her office to collect her briefcase. As she’d promised, Evie was quick. She was ready before Natalie, and waiting at the front door. Natalie was surprised, and kissed Evie as she went past. She got her toast, and took it with her down to the car, wrapped in a paper towel. She held it out to Evie as they waited for the lift, in case Evie wanted a piece, but Evie shook her head. They got in the car, and Natalie said, “Your place?”

  “Yep,” Evie said, and yawned again. Then she got out her cigarettes, and smoked out the window while they drove. She started to seem more awake. The cigarette might have helped, Natalie supposed.

  They drove, slowly. It was later than Natalie usually went to work, and the morning traffic was heavy, even though they were leaving the city, and so going against most of it. Natalie drove slowly, starting and stopping, trying not to think how bad it would be getting back into the city, and Evie smoked and stared mostly straight ahead.

  After a while she reached over and put her hand on Natalie’s leg.

  “Thank you,” Evie said.

  “For waking you up?”

  “For this. For taking me home. For all of this, actually. I’m having fun.”

  “Oh,” Natalie said, then, “I am too.”

  Evie smiled. She looked around. She looked at the cars on their side of the road, and then the denser traffic on the other.

  “Oh fuck,” Evie said. “It’s going to take you ages to get back.”

  “It’s fine.”

  “It’s really not. I should have thought.”

  “And I don’t mind, so it’s fine.”

  Evie undid her seatbelt, and leaned over, and kissed Natalie quickly. “Thank you,” she said.

  “Don’t do that,” Natalie said, worried they’d be noticed by the police.

  “I’m not,” Evie said, and did her seatbelt back up, and then put her hand back on Natalie’s leg.

  It was nice, Natalie thought, dropping Evie off. Even when Evie was half-asleep, and not saying much, just her being there was pleasant. Natalie drove, wondering how late she’d actually be getting into the office. She wondered, but she didn’t especially care.

  *

  “So,” Evie said, after a moment. “Since we’re just sitting here...”

  Natalie looked over at her.

  “What isn’t fun or perfect or whatever?” Evie said.

  Natalie didn’t understand. “How do you mean.”

  “We said this is fun, yeah?”

  Natalie nodded.

  “And that’s good,” Evie said. “Yay I’m glad. But is there anything you want to change?”

  “About us?”

  “Yep.”

  “Isn’t it a bit soon to be talking about this?” Natalie said.

  “Maybe. But if we leave it for later on we’ll just fuck and then go to sleep. So now seems good. While we sit in traffic.”

  Natalie laughed.

  “I mean it,” Evie said.

  “I know.”

  “So is there anything?”

  Natalie thought. “Maybe,” she said. “I don’t know if I should say.”

  “Oh,” Evie said, seeming surprised. “Well, you’d better now, hadn’t you?”

  Natalie realized she might have made a mistake. Evie might just have wanted reassurance, not an actual conversation. “I didn’t mean…” Natalie said.

  “Yeah you did,” Evie said. “So now you should probably j
ust tell me or I’ll worry.”

  Natalie hesitated. It hadn’t occurred to her that Evie might worry too. The traffic ahead of them began to move, so Natalie drove forward, slowly. “I want more,” she said, in the end. “More with you.”

  “More what?”

  “I don’t know,” Natalie said. “More everything.”

  Evie seemed to be thinking. “Everything?” she said. “What does that mean?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Tell me.”

  Natalie suddenly felt terribly insecure. “No,” she said. “I shouldn’t. We should stop this.”

  “Please?”

  Natalie bit her lip, and decided to be honest. “I want you,” she said. “That’s all. However much you do or don’t want from me, I do want you. Eventually, I mean. One day.”

  “Seriously?” Evie said, flatly.

  Natalie nodded. “Yes.”

  “Don’t be an asshole,” Evie said.

  Natalie looked over at her, surprised. Evie sounded strange. Natalie glanced over as best she could while still watching the road, and took a moment to realize. Evie was angry. Natalie didn’t understand why.

  “Oh god,” Natalie said. “I knew I shouldn’t have said anything.”

  “Well it’s too late now.”

  Natalie felt helpless. She looked at the traffic ahead of her, wishing she could take back what she’d said.

  “So, what do you mean,” Evie said. “Like run away with me? And we live happily ever after?”

  Natalie thought. “Yes,” she said. “Actually. In time.”

  “In time?”

  Natalie nodded.

  “Yeah right,” Evie said.

  “I mean it, I promise.”

  “Please just stop,” Evie said, sounding abrupt, still angry.

  “I don’t understand what’s wrong.”

  “You’re being an asshole. You don’t mean that, not really.”

  “I do, Evie, I promise. Eventually, I want that. When we’re both ready. When you are, actually, I suppose.”

  “Because what, you’re ready right now?”

  Natalie wasn’t sure if she should answer. She stayed quiet, and drove.