The air changed around us. Like it was electrically charged.
“Yes.”
We walked a few more steps, each one I wondered what he was thinking.
“Do you ever regret that?”
I looked up at him, concerned that he regretted it and wanted confirmation that I’d made a mistake. He looked down at me, but I didn’t see regret. It almost appeared like he was holding his breath.
“No. That night was perfect. Just like I’d planned. Better than I’d hoped for.”
The tension on his face relaxed and he let out a breath. “It was one of the most amazing nights of my life.”
I studied him. “Really?” It was hard to believe. He’d been with other girls before then, and no doubt since, which I quickly pushed out of my mind because I didn’t want to think of him with other women.
He nodded. “I can’t explain it, but…there was something special, magical.” He laughed sheepishly. “I sound like a moron.”
“No, you don’t. I’m glad that it was special. I know it was for me.”
He stopped in front of a hotel. “I can walk you back to your car or, I’m staying here until I can move into my apartment. Do you want to come up for a nightcap?”
Was that code for sex? Or was he being literal. I looked up into his strong face, starlight-like eyes, and I didn’t care what he meant. I’d do one or the other or both in this moment. Those warning bells went off in my brain again, but I told them to shut up. If anything, this would be a chance to find out if all those memories were really as good as I remembered, or had I elevated them over time. Plus, maybe I could finally get him out of my system. Or he’d get me out of his.
I nodded, unable to say the word.
He smiled, his eyes studying my face in a way that made my breath stall in my lungs. “Come on,” he said. “If Cyrus hasn’t cleaned out my mini-bar, I should have enough for a nightcap.”
We rode the elevator up in silence, but the air was heavy with possibly that made it hard to talk. I shouldn’t have been there, and yet, I couldn’t not be. I couldn’t deny the powerful attraction I had to him. I hadn’t felt the pull toward a man since Jude, and it was impossible to ignore it. Even if it was just one night, I couldn’t deny something I wanted badly.
“This is me,” he said as we reached his door and he used his keycard to open the door.
I stepped in, scanning the room but not really taking it in. Instead, I turned and launched myself at him. It was like I was eighteen again, begging him to touch me.
He groaned as my body pressed against his, my lips fused to his mouth. He turned me and pushed me against the closed door, his hips pressing to me, his dick already so long and hard it made me gasp.
“I want you so fucking bad, April. Tell me I can have you.” His lips seared a path along my jaw, down my neck and along my collar bone. His fingers gently brushed over the skin at the base of my throat, lighting up my insides.
“Yes.” I clawed at his shirt, desperate to get the buttons undone.
His fingers were more deft than mine and my shirt was unbuttoned and opened, his lips tugging on my lace-covered nipples. I whimpered as each tug pushed me closer and closer to climax.
“Jude.” My hand gripped his dick through his slacks. My pussy was begging for relief and we still weren’t undressed.
“Fuck, I’m dying.” He pulled me away from the door, and somehow we managed to make it to the bed our clothes shed in our wake. “Jesus, I can’t think.” He reached for his pants, grabbing his wallet and getting a condom. We hadn’t used them before, hence Maya. I wondered why he hadn’t back then. Had he thought I had it covered? Maybe so since I was the one who seduced him. Of course, at the time, I thought he’d deal with it, and once we were hot and heavy, I couldn’t think of anything but him. In that respect, August had been right. I’d been irresponsible. But I didn’t regret it because I wouldn’t have had Maya otherwise.
I didn’t have time to think more on it, as he lay me back on the bed. I had a moment to take in his sculpted chest, hard abs, and his long thick cock, hard just for me, before he lay over me.
His face was right over mine, his blue eyes staring down on me. “I’ve dreamed about you…about this, so many times.”
I didn’t have time to respond before his lips were on mine again, his kiss passionate and maybe a little desperate. Like maybe he was afraid this was a dream. There was definitely something otherworldly about it. Like we were stepping out of real life and into a fantasy.
“Tell me what you like,” he said as his lips cascaded along my throat and then lower.
“You know what I like.”
He groaned, resettling himself over my breasts, kneading one with his fingers while sucking and biting the other, making me arch and writhe beneath him.
I wanted to participate but his mouth and hands, and his hard body pressing me into the mattress was short circuiting my brain with pleasure. His lips moved down, over my belly. I wondered if he’d notice the stretch marks. If he did, he didn’t mention them. He continued his journey lower pushing my thighs apart.
He inhaled as his fingers slid through my pussy lips. “You’re so wet, April. Wet for me.”
“Jude,” I said, desperate to have him put me out of my misery.
He settled his shoulders between my thighs and my pussy clenched in anticipation. His tongue slid softly through my pussy, then swirled around my clit. It was like I was jabbed with a cattle prod as electricity shot through me.
“Yes, Jude…oh God.”
He groaned, and went to work on my pussy. It was so good. I was delirious with the pleasure, coiling tighter and tighter until I couldn’t breathe. I hung on the pinnacle for one moment, then two. He sucked on my clit, and I was off like a rocket, pleasure blasting to every neuron in my body. One of my hands gripped the sheets, while the other held his head to me, fucking his face as I rode out the storm.
“So, fucking good,” he murmured. He shifted, putting on the condom, and sliding up my body. “You’re a fantasy come true.” In one thrust, he was inside me. I gasped at his invasion. He was so thick. So long. So good. I let go. I let the hurt and anger go and simply experienced this moment. It was like eight years ago when everything was perfect. I’d pay the price for this later, but for now, I was simply going to feel.
“Jesus, you’re tight,” he groaned. “Fuck I’m going to come…”
I was too as the friction of him moving in and out, in and out, pushed me higher and higher. I wanted this to last longer. To last forever.
11
Jude
Oh my fucking God. Her body was perfection. A part of me had always wondered if I’d somehow misrepresented to myself about how good it felt to be inside her. Like I’d made it better in my memory than it had really been. But, no. No, my memory was accurate. Her body swallowed up my dick and I was in heaven. Her body massaged every inch of my dick, sending sizzles of fire from my cock to my bloodstream. I was delirious with pleasure and the need to come. But I didn’t want to come too soon. I wanted to make this last longer. To draw out the pleasure and the night, because I had the feeling that one night was all I was going to get. As much as I wanted to pursue this between us, I could sense that she was giving us this one time. Like she wanted to put the period at the end of our relationship that had ended eight years ago with an ellipsis.
If this was my one time, I was going to get my pleasure’s worth. I gritted my teeth, and rolled us until she was on top. Her eyes shone with surprise for a moment but then she sat up, rose over me like a fucking goddess. I looked up at her, need and longing whirling in my chest. I slid my hands over her waist to her magnificent tits, wanting to imprint the feel of her skin, the beauty of her face into my brain.
“You’re beautiful,” I said.
Her eyes were flirty as she ran her hands over my pecs and squeezed. “So are you. There’s more beefcake here than before.”
“Do you like beefcake?” I asked, tilting my hips up, and lo
ving how she gasped, her head dropping back as I hit her sweet spot inside.
“God Jude…” Her hips swiveled and then rocked.
My eyes nearly rolled back into my head. I brought my hands back to her hips, holding her over me as my dick pulsed inside her. It wasn’t quite the same as it had been before since this time I had a condom on, but it was still fucking awesome.
She started to ride, slow at first, up and down, but soon her hands were digging into my chest to find purchase as she chased her orgasm. I tried to watch, awed by her amazing feminine power and beauty. But my own need made the ascent with her, pulling my attention away from her.
“Fuck…make me come April…” I arched and groaned as she took me to the edge where I hung for a few torturous seconds.
She cried out, and her pussy clamped down on my dick so hard, stars burst behind my eyes. And then my dick shot off. I bucked beneath her, as I came and came, filling that condom until I wondered if it might break.
“Fuck, fuck…Jesus, fuck so good,” I chanted as I moved with her, our orgasms crashing together.
She collapsed on me, and I wrapped my arms around her, intending to never let her go. Emotions rushed back, swamping me, drowning me. This was how we were supposed to be. I thought I’d gotten over her, and while being back, I’d realized that hadn’t been true, laying here like this, I knew I’d always feel for her. My heart would long to love her. My body would long to join with her. And if that wasn’t going to be, then my life would be filled with an emptiness.
I turned us to our sides, so I could keep her close to me. I watched her, as her breath returned to steady. I pushed a loose tendril of hair out of her face, cursing myself for not releasing her hair so I could run my fingers through it. Then I ran my hand down her body, taking in the softness and warmth of her curves.
I wanted to tell her everything rolling around in my heart, but was afraid to do so. I knew I couldn’t handle her telling me again that she didn’t love me. So, I kept my feelings to myself.
Her hazel eyes opened, glowing with a sated shade of green that was so beautiful, I felt another swell of emotion. She gave me a sweet smile, and for a split second, I wondered if maybe all that we’d planned eight years ago could still come to fruition. And then her smile faltered. Her eyes widened and she stiffened in my arms.
Before I could react, she was out of my embrace, out of the bed, and picking up her clothes.
“What are you doing?” I couldn’t keep up with the change. What happened?
“It was a lovely evening, but I need to go.” She shoved one and then the other arm into the sleeves of her blouse, not bothering with her bra.
“What’s the rush?” I was sure she enjoyed the sex. She came twice. And now she was off like it never happened. I’d never had any complaints before, but I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe it wasn’t satisfactory for her. If she stayed, I’d do my damnedest to change that.
“I just don’t want to linger.” She shoved her bra into her coat pocket. “It was fun. Like old times, but you’re my boss now, Jude, this isn’t wise.”
Fucking A. I sat up running my hands through my hair. I damn near fired her right then and there.
“We can’t do this again,” she continued, slipping her feet into her heels.
“One night. Give me just one night.” Maybe if it did it right, I could parlay one night into two, and then a week, and then…
She pushed her hair back, and looked around the floor like she was making sure she’d gathered all her belongings. “I can’t. This was a one-time thing. We can’t repeat it.” She stopped and looked at me. For a moment, I thought maybe she was going to change her mind, and in the next minute, she was heading out the door.
“Fuck!” I fell back on the mattress as all my hopes and dreams died. Seriously. Cupid hated my guts. One minute I was riding the high of great sex with the only woman I’d ever loved, and then next minute she was gone. Like what just happened was nothing.
The memory of her letter came back to me. The one in which she’d said she’d moved on. That she didn’t love me. What a fucking idiot I was. I’d spent the last eight years pining for her and what we’d planned. April? She’d put me in the rearview mirror eight years ago. I was a fun fuck from the past, but that was it.
I got out of bed and disposed of the condom. I took a good look at the man in the mirror. I was good enough looking. I had a big enough dick. I was now an entrepreneur. But somehow I was lacking for her. Had August done this? Had he turned her against me?
I should be like her and just let it go. But as I studied my reflection, I wondered if now, eight years later, I could undo whatever August had done to change her heart toward me. She was clearly her own woman now. Yes, as her boss, it wasn’t wise to pursue a relationship. But the opposite of that was we’d be working together. She’d be able to see me as I was now. Competent. Stable. And still helplessly in love with her.
12
April
I half expected August to gripe at me that I owed him two week’s notice before quitting. When I didn’t see him, I suspected he thought I’d just thrown a temper tantrum and would be back at my desk. I wondered how long it would take him to notice that I wasn’t there.
Instead I was walking into Jude and his partner’s office, wondering if maybe I was making the right choice. It couldn’t be a good thing to have slept with the boss. To want to keep sleeping with the boss. I swore I could still feel his hands on me, his thick dick sliding in and out of me. The last thing I’d wanted to do was leave his bed last night. Leave the warmth of his arms. When he looked at me after we finished, for a moment, I wondered if maybe we could have what we’d planned all those years ago.
But then I remembered Maya and how he’d left us. I remembered August, and while I didn’t want him bossing me around anymore, he was my brother. Wasn’t blood thicker than water?
I pushed all that aside as I stepped into Jude’s new business a little bit early to make sure I made a good impression on his partner. The front area was clean, although stark.
A tall, muscular, good looking man entered the front area from the hall. He was dressed in a dress shirt and slacks with a tie. I recognized him as Jude’s friend.
“April, right?” he said with a warm, friendly smile as he outstretched his hand to shake mine.
“Yes.”
“Jude isn’t in yet. Would you like to sit and wait for him?”
I didn’t see any reason why I shouldn’t get right to work. “If you tell me what you need, I can get started now.”
His brows furrowed. “Started on what?”
I paused, wondering if I misunderstood Jude. No. We negotiated my salary. He offered me a job. “On being your new office manager.”
Cyrus’s eyes widened, and that feeling of ut-oh came over me.
“Didn’t Jude tell you? He hired me.”
He shook his head. “It must have slipped his mind. But since you’re here, and eager to start, let me show you around.”
Now I wondered if maybe I should wait for Jude. Awkward didn’t adequately explain how this situation was.
“This, of course, is the front area. You can set up shop here.” He walked up the hall. “Here is the restroom. There’s only one, but there’s a lock. A conference room, break room, and two offices are here.” He held his arm out toward one of the offices. “Why don’t you come into mine and we can have a chat.”
Since he was my other boss, I figured I should agree. I entered the office and took a seat in one of the chairs.
“Do you want coffee?” he asked. “I just made a pot.”
I shook my head. “No thank you.” I hoped he didn’t ask me to make him any. I’d need to make it clear to Jude that coffee making and ordering flowers for wives or girlfriends wasn’t in my job description.
“I don’t mean to be indelicate, but what are your qualifications?”
At first, I was offended, but then I remembered that I met him at the restaurant. He didn�
��t know my real job.
“I have a degree in business administration and accounting. I’ve worked at Davidsons doing much of what you need. Project management. Payroll. Bookkeeping. Basic admin tasks.”
“I don’t know Davidsons.”
“It’s an accounting firm,” I said, not mentioning it was started by my father and run by my brother. I didn’t want him to think I only worked there because of nepotism, and not on qualifications. Then again, maybe not saying anything would seem like a lie of omission.
He sat back in his chair, steepling his fingers. “Again, I don’t mean to be indelicate, but I’m aware that there used to be something between you and Jude—”
“He and I grew up together. He and my brother used to be best friends.”
He arched a brow. “But there was more.”
So, Jude told him about us? “Yes, but that was a long time ago. We were kids, really. Would you have difficulty working with the girl you dated in high school?” It felt wrong to relegate our relationship to puppy love, but I wanted to make sure that Cyrus knew I could be professional. My past with Jude wasn’t going to get in the way of this job.
“Hey,” Jude said, poking his head in the door.
“Jude, I was just getting better acquainted with April.”
Jude stepped into the office and smiled, although it looked a bit strained. “I picked up a few things for the office. April, want to follow me?”
I looked at Cyrus, now wondering if one of them had seniority. I couldn’t just leave a meeting with Cyrus at Jude’s whim, could I?
Cyrus stood and nodded to the door. I rose and followed Jude out to the front area. On the desk there were several bags from the local office store.
“I figure you’ll know what to do with all this,” Jude said motioning to the office supplies.
Cyrus laughed. “Maybe we should get April’s hiring paperwork sorted before we put her to work.”
“Right.”
Eight Long Years: A Second Chance Secret Baby Romance (Heart of Hope Book 5) Page 7