The Choice (The Gamble Series Book 2)

by Kathryn Jacques

  Enveloping me into an embrace, his arms strong yet tender as they wrap around my body, Jax lowers me down until I lie on the rock and he hovers over me, propped on one elbow. His other hand glides across my hipbone and his fingertips slide under the hem of my shirt. They’re hot against my stomach. Their warm caress trails down my side and slips under my lower back, pressing me closer to him. Goose bumps rise along my skin.

  He kisses me again, hungry and passionate. I know I should stop him, push him away because this isn’t fair; not to Rey who I still love and certainly not to Jax who I am now misleading… or whatever awful thing I’m doing. But I am selfish and terrible and instead I reach up to pull his face harder against mine because I can’t get enough of him. Like a drug, I need more, and whatever happens from here, I want to remember this moment forever.

  Breaking away, he kisses along my jaw and down my neck and I shiver from the gentle touch. Like feathers, his lips brush along my collar bone and all I can do is cling to the back of his shirt with my fingers.

  Resting the side of his face on my shoulder, I’m certain he can hear my heart beating quick and forcefully. Neither of us move as we lay there holding each other, the warmth of the rising sun beaming down, though its heat can never compare to ours.

  “I’m glad you came,” he whispers.

  “I thought you wanted to be alone.”

  Sitting up, he stares down at me. With the golden edges of the sun backlighting his features, it looks like a halo around his head; a dark angel floating above me. All he needs is wings.

  Without thinking, I reach up and trace the line of his cheekbone with my fingertips. He catches my hand in his own, holding it to his face as if he draws some sort of energy from me.

  “Not just today I mean,” Jax corrects. “I meant up here, coming out of ROC and into my world. Something was missing, it’s always been missing for as long as I can remember, I just never knew what it was until now.”

  He looks so vulnerable all of a sudden and I know how hard it was for him to admit that. I am reminded of the promise I made Daniel that I would never hurt Jax. That for as strong as he is, he is also cracked somewhere inside, like a glass, and one tiny vibration might cause him to shatter into a million pieces never to be whole again. Daniel was so afraid Jax would break and needed me to keep him together. It was his dying request.

  And yet I am, hurting Jax anyway. Every second that passes with me unable to choose drives a knife deeper into his heart; and one deeper into Rey’s and another into mine until it is very possible none of us will survive anyway.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  As I emerge from the school onto the front steps several hours later, I’m just in time to witness a group of sixty or so people hiking into the woods. Packs of food and canteens of water are slung over their backs. Some carry weapons, but none look ready for battle. I see Raoul and his wife and daughter among them. Other children as well. And the man, Nathan, who was so outspoken last night.

  “Are they part of the plan?” I ask Charlie, stepping up beside her.

  “No. They’re leaving.”

  “Leaving what?”

  “Us. The compound. The Risers. They’re going to make their own group elsewhere.”

  She’s so stoic, as if they’re just field workers meandering off to start their day, not her friends, people she has lead for however many years, now deserting her when we need every person we can get.

  “How?” I demand, anger unfurling. “Why?”

  “They don’t agree with the choices Nole and I have made. It’s ok, Kelsey. They are welcome to leave. We encouraged it and sent them with enough supplies to last a couple weeks until they can get themselves settled down with another group or build a compound of their own. It’s that or they stay here and add to the tension and animosity.”

  “But how can they just leave?”

  She turns to me. “They aren’t prisoners here. People come and go all the time. They don’t agree with mine and Nole’s decisions, they are unhappy, so they have chosen to move on. I cannot fault people for doing what they believe is best for themselves or their families.”

  My mouth hangs open as I watch the group vanish into the trees and underbrush of the forest. I should be happy Raoul is gone, one less person around here who wants me dead, but I can’t help but feel guilty. I’m the reason they feel they must leave their home. I’m the reason the surface groups are falling apart.

  “You ready?” Charlie asks. "We have about five hours to sundown."

  “Yeah,” I say reluctantly, a giant lie. I tuck my fresh t-shirt into my jeans and twist my hair back up before turning my attention to her, trying to move past the members that have departed. She gives a grim smile.

  “Good. Neither am I.”

  Her honest response puts a tiny grin on my own lips, easing some of my anxiety and making me thankful I’m not alone. A moment later, Nole and several other Risers and compound members exit the complex as well to give us a final send off into whatever fate has in store. Nole offers us both flasks of water and small packs of food.

  “Everyone is set,” he says, reaching out to rest a hand on each of our shoulders. At least someone has confidence.

  "Anything I should know?" I ask nervously because I still have no idea what the full plan is.

  "No," he says. "Just do as Elijah's note instructed."

  Both Charlie and I nod before turning to walk away, leaving the others behind us because Elijah’s note told us to come alone. I trust the mysterious plan and the people involved, but it still doesn’t allay my fear or end the gnawing sense of panic and dread in my gut. Whatever has been decided, there’s so many ways this can go wrong and I can’t stop thinking about Jax and everything he said earlier. I almost wish I hadn’t made an effort to leave with us on good terms. If he were still mad at me, it might make this easier, I could use the flames of fury to my advantage. Now I’m weighted with fear.

  “I’m scared too,” Charlie says, as if reading my thoughts.

  “Really? You hardly ever show it.”

  “I’ve had more practice at hiding my emotions than you have.”

  “I’d rather not be afraid at all instead of having to hide it,” I grumble.

  “I don’t. It means we’re human and we’re alive. Those with no fear… like Elijah or Sawyer… it means there’s something wrong with them. Like they're missing an essential part. Besides, courage can’t exist without fear to create it. The two go hand-in-hand.”

  I suppose she’s right. If I’m scared, it means I’m human and if I’m human it means I can’t be a monster despite what I intend to accomplish tonight, who I might kill before the next sunrise. I only hope I can hold on to that part of myself when this is over.

  We’ve reached the edge of the tree line and I pause to glance back at the apartment complex where Nole and the others stand to watch us leave.

  “Everything ok?” Charlie asks and I nod, not wanting to tell her that I wanted to see Rey and Jax once more. I have no idea where they've gone and I’m disappointed they didn’t come to see me off. At least Rey. I can’t believe he didn’t come.

  My gut twists because I shouldn’t want to see either of them until I have made a decision and the fact that I am headed forward with this mission without ever deciding makes me feel worse. Maybe I should hope for my death, it will make things a whole lot easier. Dead people don't have to pick who they love more. Dead people don't have to do much of anything really.

  Ducking into the trees, the shadows of the forest pass over both of us, though do little to quell the heavy humidity in the air. It must be mid-May by now. I’ve missed Elsa’s employment anniversary, and wonder, for the millionth time, if she’s alright, what happened to her after I disappeared.

  I suppose I have far bigger things to worry about though.

  * * *

  The woods have entered the first stages of twilight and we’re less than a mile from Charlie’s former compound when two League members emerge from the sh
adows, frightening me. Both are clad in full combat gear including their giant helmets, concealing their faces in the growing darkness. Their guns are raised to point at our chests. It almost makes me laugh, the extremes they’ve gone through for two unarmed women.

  I can’t say I expected a different greeting though, certainly no flower bouquets or warm hugs, but still my heart leaps into my throat as my hands jump into the air in defense. I know they won’t shoot me, I’m too important to Sawyer’s cause, but I’m scared for Charlie. Why else would Elijah demand her presence except to make an example out of her? To punish her for what the Risers and her compound have done to the League? Or maybe to use her to force me to comply? I can only hope Nole’s plan works before anything happens to her. I can’t handle watching Charlie die the same way I watched Daniel. Or even Ashlynn. Or that man all those years ago the day of the Gamble, shot and killed outside my suite’s door. How many deaths have I witnessed at this point? I don’t want to think about it. That number should be zero.

  One League man steps forward, drawing several lengths of rope which he uses to bind both mine and Charlie’s hands behind our backs. Then, with pokes from the barrels of their guns, we are herded though the woods until we reach the walls of Charlie’s compound. I can’t see beyond the barbed-wire topped stone, but black soot mars the rocks and mortar, scorched in some places from the flames that destroyed the compound. The air still carries a faint smell of smoke and charred wood. I know that nothing but smoldering ruins lie behind the barricade that once offered me protection and a sense of comfort. For just a short period of time, it had been my home.

  Now everything is gone and I wish I could cry for what has been lost, but I won’t. Like when I believed my friends were dead, I won’t give Elijah the satisfaction of thinking he’s broken me. He won’t break me. I won’t allow it.

  Beside the entrance, Elijah waits with more of his men, all fanned around him like a giant halo. Even in the dim light, I can see the wickedness burning in his face.

  “I have to say, I didn’t think you’d follow my orders."

  “We want our two men released,” Charlie says. “Kelsey and I will go with you without a fight once we know they are safe.”

  He smirks, white teeth gleaming in the rise of the silver moonlight. “Considering you are both well out-numbered, have no weapons and have your hands tied, I’m not sure how you think you have any negotiating power.”

  “Where are Randolph and Damian?” Charlie demands, completely ignoring Elijah’s verbal jabs. He clenches his jaw before nodding his head to the man beside him. The man sticks two fingers in his mouth and whistles. A few moments later, Randolph and a middle- aged man with a barrel chest, round face and balding head are lead from the trees. Both are bound and gagged and escorted by multiple armed guards. Even in the darkness, I can see they have been beaten; bruises patterning their faces. Randolph walks with a heavy limp.

  “Let them go,” Charlie commands again and even though she is in no position to dictate, she still appears powerful and strong, her face a mask of defiance and I am proud to stand beside her in what could well be our final moments.

  Elijah smiles one of his cold inhuman smiles, all teeth and no warmth or emotion.

  “No,” I whisper in horror as a terrifying thought comes over me, but my voice is so soft no one hears. My throat tightens, a lump forming as panic unfurls beneath my ribs, gripping my heart. I’ve been here before. I know what will happen next.

  “No!” I cry louder, but I am too late as the League guards with Damien and Randolph lift their weapons, preparing to shoot their captives.

  Time slows down as the world around me speeds up. All I can picture in my mind were the seven ROC citizens murdered in Sawyer’s mall. The seven people that were supposed to be freed because of me. I suppose they are free in a way, but death is never the freedom I would have chosen for them. And now I will watch it happen again.

  I try to lunge forward, for all the good it will do anyone, but strong hands fling me aside. I topple to the hard earth, pain shooting through my shoulder and my head smacks the ground leaving me dizzy and disoriented. Charlie lies next to me, though I have no idea how she ended up on the ground too.

  Shots fire, the sounds ringing in my ears. I struggle against my bonds and flop to twist around, wanting to see if Randolph is really dead, but then not wanting to see at all. If I don’t see it, maybe it never happened, I’ll never have to pollute my mind with the image of one more dead body.

  “Kelsey!” Charlie hisses. “Stay down!”

  I lift my eyes to find hers. Despite all the chaos of battle around us, she remains unruffled and focused.

  “But Randolph,” I say, the words coming out as sobs. I wasn’t even aware I was crying.

  “They’ll be ok,” she replies. “Please, just trust me.”

  I want to yell about how she can’t possibly believe that. They are dead, I am sure of it, and soon we will be too. No one will be ok.

  Gunfire erupts around me, shots from every direction and I have no idea who's even shooting at whom. There are shouted commands and screams of pain and the sound of bodies hitting the earth with pierced yelps from the dying. One body lands on top of me and I squeeze my eyes shut, trying not to move and ignore the fact that the dying man’s blood drips onto my neck, warm and sticky. He gasps for air, a gurgling sound emanating from the back of his throat before he stops breathing all together.

  Charlie keeps murmuring that it will all be ok. I no longer know if she’s saying it to convince me, or to convince herself.

  And as quickly as it all began, less than ninety seconds later, it’s over. A few moments of hush fill the forest, interrupted only by the deep, ragged breathing of those who have survived the sudden battle. I continue to remain motionless, half trapped between the ground and the dead body. All I can think about is Randolph, wondering if he’s managed to survive. What will I tell Evy if we don’t bring her brother home alive? I can’t see Charlie anymore and hope she’s safe as well… and what exactly just happened anyway?

  The weight of the corpse lifts off me, allowing for my lungs to expand with a full breath. I taste remnants of gunpowder that linger in the air like bits of dust, followed by the metallic tinge of spilt blood. I spit and sputter to get the tastes from my mouth.

  Someone picks me up and places me on my feet. I turn to find one of the League members; the man’s full body armor and helmet having saved him from any bullets.

  The weight of despair crushes down as though another dead body had been flung over me. For a moment, I had thought that maybe Charlie and I were saved, that whatever Nole’s plan was had actually worked.

  Aiming his gun at my feet, the League member unhooks his helmet and lifts it from his head. My mouth falls open in shock as the man smiles.

  “Hey, poppet. How's it goin'?"

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  “What…” I begin before my voice trails off because I have no idea what I wanted to say in the first place. I take in the scene before me as all of the helmeted League members remove the masks concealing their faces. Ivan, Nole, even a woman whose name I don’t know but I recognize her as a Riser. Lara is there too and four others I don’t recognize, but who seem to be on our side because they aren’t shooting anyone.

  Scattered around the small clearing are bodies of the actual League members, all dead, some before they could even pull their weapons.

  As my eyes dart around, they come to rest on a figure kneeling before Lara. She holds a gun to his flame-red hair. Though he doesn’t move, and I’m sure he’d be shot the moment he did, I can’t help but feel the familiar fear unravel through me.

  “You decided to save him?” I demand, my tone far nastier than I intended as my eyes narrow and teeth grind together.

  “That one,” Ryder responds, stalking forward to grab Elijah’s hair, wrenching the man’s face upward. “Is our ticket to Sawyer.”

  I turn to Charlie in time to see Nole slip a knife from his belt a
nd slice the ropes binding her hands. He takes a moment to pull her hair back over her shoulder and whisper something in her ear causing her to smile sweetly and squeeze his hand. Then she glances at Elijah and her smile falls, her face distorting into something else entirely.

  I return my attention to Ryder, whose dark eyes sparkle from the excitement of winning the battle.

  “I don’t understand,” I say, as the rock of a man cuts the ropes around my own wrists, setting me free. I edge away from him.

  “You think we were just gonna let you and Charlie prance into League hands?” Ryder asks, a huge grin covering his face, as if it’s the funniest idea he’s ever heard. “Come on, surely you think better of me by now?”

  I'm not really sure what I think of Ryder anymore. But that's an internal debate for another day.

  “Where did you get the uniforms? And how?”

  Dried leaves and dead grass crunch and a second later Nole stands beside me. “I’ve had them for years. My men have been taking them off dead League members and hiding the bodies any chance they got. I’ve been saving them for a special occasion, so to speak. The best way to infiltrate the enemy is to trick them into believing you are a friend. I had our team put on the uniforms and then wait for the League to appear and find a creative way to switch places.”

  “Switch places?” I ask. “What is that supposed to mean?"

  “You really wanna know?” Ryder asks, bushy eyebrows lifted in question.

  No. I don’t want to know. After his display the other night, I can imagine. I suppose it doesn’t matter. Once again, and despite all odds, I am safe and one step closer to my mission. Glancing around, I see Randolph and Damian a few paces away, wide eyed but alive as one of the Risers checks them over and cuts off their own bindings.

  “Let’s just go,” I say, glancing at Elijah who offers a disgusted sneer. I want to barge over and punch him in the face and then hit him again and again until that filthy smile is gone for good. My hands ball into fists, fingernails digging into my palms until they sting, but right now, we need him.