by Plautus
PISTOCLERUS
Our hearts are with you, Chrysalus.
CHRYSALUS
Now, do you go in-doors to Bacchis, Pistoclerus, and quickly bring out —
PISTOCLERUS
What?
CHRYSALUS
A pen, some wax, tablets, and some cord.
PISTOCLERUS
I’ll have them here this instant. Goes into the house.
MNESILOCHUS
What now are you about to do? Do tell me that.
CHRYSALUS
Let a breakfast be prepared; there will be you two, and your mistress will make a third with you.
MNESILOCHUS
Just as you say.
CHRYSALUS
Pistoclerus has no mistress?
MNESILOCHUS
O yes, she’s here; he’s in love with the one sister, I with the other, both of the name of Bacchis.
CHRYSALUS
What were you going to say? MNES. This; how we are to manage.
CHRYSALUS
Where are your couches laid out?
MNESILOCHUS
Why o you ask that?
CHRYSALUS
So the matter stands; I wish to be informed. You know not what I am about to do, nor what a great exploit I shall attempt.
MINES.
Give me your hand, and follow me close, to the door. Peep in. CHRYSALUS looks in at the door of the house of BACCHIS.
CHRYSALUS
Hurra! ’Tis a very pretty place, this, and exactly as I could wish it to be. Re-enter PISTOCLERUS, with pen and tablets.
PISTOCLERUS
The things that you ordered — what’s ordered for a good purpose is forthwith done by the obedient.
CHRYSALUS
What have you brought?
PISTOCLERUS
Everything that you bade me bring.
CHRYSALUS
to MNESILOCHUS . Do you take the pen at once, and these tablets.
MNESILOCHUS
taking them . What then? CHRYS. Write there what I shall bid you; for I wish you to write for this reason, that your father may know the hand when he reads it. Write now.
MNESILOCHUS
What shall I write?
CHRYSALUS
Health to your father, in your own language. MNESILOCHUS writes.
PISTOCLERUS
Suppose he were to write “disease and death,” in preference, that would be much better.
CHRYSALUS
Don’t you interrupt us.
MNESILOCHUS
What you have ordered is now written on the wax.
CHRYSALUS
Tell me in what terms.
MNESILOCHUS
“Mnesilochus sends health to his father.”
CHRYSALUS
Write this, too, quickly: “My father, Chrysalus is always and everywhere talking at me, and in no measured terms, because I gave you up the gold, and because I did not cheat you of it.” MNESILOCHUS writes.
PISTOCLERUS
Stop till he has written it.
CHRYSALUS
It befits the hand of a lover to be active.
PISTOCLERUS
I’ faith, that hand is more active by far at lavishing than at writing.
MNESILOCHUS
Say on; that’s written down.
CHRYSALUS
“Now, my dear father, do you henceforth be on your guard against him, for he is forming knavish plans to deprive you of the gold, and has declared that he will have it beyond a doubt.” Write legibly.
MINE.
You only dictate. Writes. CHRYS. “And he promises that he will give this gold to me, for me to give away to naughty women, and to consume it and live like a Greek in dens of infamy. But, father, do you take care that he does not impose on you this day; I entreat you, do beware.”
MNESILOCHUS
Only say on.
CHRYSALUS
Just write on, then.
MNESILOCHUS
Only say what I am to write
CHRYSALUS
MNESILOCHUS writing . “But, father, what you promised me I beg that you will remember, that you will not beat him, but keep him in chains at your house at home.” Do you give me the wax and cord forthwith. Come, fasten it, and seal it in an instant.
MNESILOCHUS
sealing the tablets . Prithee, what use is there in this writing after such a fashion, that he is to give no credence to you, and to keep you in chains at home?
CHRYSALUS
Because it pleases me so. Can’t you possibly take care of your own self, and have no thought about me? In confidence in myself I undertook the task, and at my own peril do I carry on the matter.
MNESILOCHUS
You say what’s true.
CHRYSALUS
Give me the tablets.
MNESILOCHUS
giving them . Take them.
CHRYSALUS
Give attention now; Mnesilochus, and you, Pistoclerus, do you take care that each of you goes at once and reclines on his couch with his mistress; so ’tis requisite; and on that same spot where the couches are now laid, do you forthwith commence to carouse.
PISTOCLERUS
Anything else?
CHRYSALUS
This, and this especially: when you shall have once taken your places together, don’t you arise anyhow, until the signal shall be given by me.
PISTOCLERUS
O skilful commander!
CHRYSALUS
You ought by this time to have taken your second draught.
MNESILOCHUS
Capital; let’s go.
CHRYSALUS
Do you take care of your duty, and I’ll do mine. MNESILOCHUS and PISTOCLERUS go into the house.
CHRYSALUS, alone.
CHRYSALUS
A tremendously great business am I undertaking, and I have my fears how in this one day I may accomplish it. But now I have occasion for the old blade to be fierce and savage at me. For it suits not this plan of mine that the old fellow should be calm when he has beheld me in his presence. I’ll turn him about this day, finely, if I live. I’ll have him parched as well as ever pea was parched. I’ll walk before the door, that when he comes out, at once as he comes up, I may put the letters in his hand. Stands near the door of BACCHIS.
Enter NICOBULUS, at a distance.
NICOBULUS
This is a matter of great vexation to me, that Chrysalus has thus escaped me this day.
CHRYSALUS
aside . I’m all right: the old fellow is in a passion. Now’s my time for me to accost my man.
NICOBULUS
Who speaks hard by? Looking round. Why surely this is Chrysalus, I think.
CHRYSALUS
aside . I’ll accost him. NICO. My honest servant, hail to you. What’s doing now? How soon do I set sail for Ephesus, to bring back the gold home from Theotimus? What — silent? I swear by all the Gods, if I didn’t love my son so much as to wish everything done for him that he desires ... that your sides should be wealed now right well with rods, and that in irons at the mill you should be lingering out your life. I’ve learnt of Mnesilochus all your wicked pranks.
CHRYSALUS
Has he accused me? ’Tis very good; I am a bad one, I am a cursed one — a wicked one. Only reflect upon the matter. I’ll utter not one word.
NICOBULUS
What? Hangdog, do you even threaten me?
CHRYSALUS
You’ll find out before long what sort of man he is. He ordered me just now to carry this letter to you. He requested that that which is there written may be done.
NICOBULUS
Give it me,
CHRYSALUS
Take notice of the seal Gives him the tablets.
NICOBULUS
I know it. Where is he himself?
CHRYSALUS
I don’t know. I ought to know nothing now; I’ve forgotten everything. I know that I’m a slave; I know not even that which I do know. Aside. Now from the springe this thrush
is catching at the worm; he’ll be finely noosed this day, so well I’ve set the snare.
NICOBULUS
Stay here but a moment; I’ll return to you directly, Chrysalus. Goes into his house.
CHRYSALUS
How he does dissemble with me; how ignorant I am of the business he’s about. He has gone to fetch slaves from in-doors to bind me. The ship speeds prosperously on; finely, too, is this craft boarding it. But I’ll hold my tongue, for I hear the door opening.
Re-enter NICOBULUS, with SLAVES carrying fetters.
NICOBULUS
Artamo, do you fasten the hands of that fellow this very instant. The SLAVES bind him.
CHRYSALUS
What have I done?
NICOBULUS
Pitch your fist into him if he mutters a word. To CHRYSALUS, pointing at the tablets. What does this letter say?
CHRYSALUS
Why do you ask me? As I received it from him, so I’ve brought it sealed to you.
NICOBULUS
Come now, you rascal, have you not shamefully abused my son in your talk, because he gave me up that gold, and said that you would still take that gold away from me by some knavish trick?
CHRYSALUS
Have I said so?
NICOBULUS
You have.
CHRYSALUS
What person is there, who says that I’ve said so?
NICOBULUS
Hold your tongue. No person says so; this letter which you have brought me accuses you. See, ’tis this that requests you to be chained. Points to the open tablets.
CHRYSALUS
Ah! your son has been making a Bellerophon of me; I myself brought this letter, for the purpose that I might be bound. Be it so.
NICOBULUS
This I am doing for this reason, because you persuade my son to live like a Greek with you, you thrice-dotted villain.
CHRYSALUS
aside . O fool, fool, you know not that you are at this moment on sale; and that you are standing on the very stone as the auctioneer puts you up.
NICOBULUS
overhearing him . Answer me; who is selling me?
CHRYSALUS
He whom the Gods favour dies in youth, while he is in his health, has his senses and judgment sound. This person (pointing to NICOBULUS) , if any God had favoured him, ought to have been dead more than ten years — aye, more than twenty years ago. ’Tis for long, he has walked, a nuisance, on the earth; so devoid is he of either judgment or sense. He is of as much value as a rotten mushroom is.
NICOBULUS
Do you think that I am a nuisance to the earth? Away with him in-doors, and tie him tightly to the post. You shall never take away any gold from here.
CHRYSALUS
No, but you’ll soon be giving it me.
NICOBULUS
I, give it you?
CHRYSALUS
You’ll be entreating me, too, of your own accord to receive it, when you shall come to know this accuser of mine, in how great danger and in what a dreadful situation he is. Then will you be offering his liberty to Chrysalus; but I certainly shan’t accept it.
NICOBULUS
Tell me, source of mischief, tell me, in what danger is my son Mnesilochus.
CHRYSALUS
Follow me this way; I’ll soon let you know.
NICOBULUS
Where on earth shall I follow you?
CHRYSALUS
Only three steps.
NICOBULUS
Aye, ten even.
CHRYSALUS
Come, then, Artamo, do you open you this door out a very little way; softly, don’t make it creak. The door of the house of BACCHIS is opened. That’s enough. Now, step you hither. To NICOBULUS, who looks in. Do you see the entertainment?
NICOBULUS
still looking in . I see Pistoclerus and Bacchis right opposite.
CHRYSALUS
Who are upon that other couch?
NICOBULUS
looking on the other side . Wretch that I am, I’m undone. CHRYS. Do you recognize that person?
NICOBULUS
I do recognize him.
CHRYSALUS
Now tell me, if you please, does that woman seem of handsome appearance?
NICOBULUS
Very much so.
CHRYSALUS
Well, do you take her to be a courtesan?
NICOBULUS
Why not?
CHRYSALUS
You are mistaken.
NICOBULUS
Who is she then, prithee?
CHRYSALUS
You’ll find out from me. indeed, you’ll get no more information to-day.
Enter CLEOMACHUS, at a distance.
CLEOMACHUS
aloud . Is this Mnesilochus, the son of Nicobulus, by force to detain my own mistress? What proceeding is this?
NICOBULUS
Who’s this?
CHRYSALUS
aside . This Captain’s opportunely come for me.
CLEOMACHUS
He doesn’t consider that I am a soldier, but a woman, who cannot defend myself and mine. But may neither Bellona nor Mars ever put confidence in me, if I don’t put him out of life, if I meet him, or if I don’t make him lose possession of his existence.
NICOBULUS
Chrysalus, who’s this that’s threatening my son?
CHRYSALUS
This is the husband of that woman with whom he is now reclining.
NICOBULUS
What! The husband?
CHRYSALUS
The husband, I say.
NICOBULUS
Prithee, is she married then?
CHRYSALUS
You’ll know before very long.
NICOBULUS
Wretch that I am; I’m utterly undone.
CHRYSALUS
How now? Does Chrysalus seem such a villain to you? Come, chain me now, and do listen to your son. Didn’t I tell you that you would discover what sort of person he is?
NICOBULUS
What shall I do now?
CHRYSALUS
Order me at once to be released, if you please; for, if I’m not released, he’ll just now be overpowering the young man in our presence.
CLEOMACHUS
There’s no gain that I should this day take so much delight in making, as I should in falling upon him as he reclines with her, so that I might kill them both.
CHRYSALUS
to NICOBULUS . Don’t you hear what he says Why don’t you order me to be released?
NICOBULUS
to the SLAVES . Unbind him. I’m ruined; wretch that I am! I’m in a dreadful fright.
CLEOMACHUS
Then I’d make her, who publicly puts up her person for sale, not to say that she has got a person for her to laugh at.
CHRYSALUS
to NICOBULUS . You may make terms with him for a little money.
NICOBULUS
Make terms, then, I beg, for what you like; so that he mayn’t, in our presence, fall upon the young man, or kill him outright.
CLEOMACHUS
Unless the two hundred Philippeans are repaid to me at once, I’ll this instant swallow the lives of them both outright.
NICOBULUS
to CHRYSALUS . Make terms with him, if you can; prithee, do make haste; agree for any sum you like.
CHRYSALUS
I’ll go, and do it carefully. Goes up to CLEOMACHUS. Why are you exclaiming so?
CLEOMACHUS
Where’s your master?
CHRYSALUS
Nowhere; I don’t know. Do you wish the two hundred pieces to be promised you at once, so as to make no riot or disturbance here?
CLEOMACHUS
There’s nothing that I would desire more.
CHRYSALUS
And that I may heap many a curse upon you?
CLEOMACHUS
Just as you please.
CHRYSALUS
aside . How the villain does cringe. To CLEOMACHUS. This is the father of Mnesi
lochus: follow rme; he shall promise it you. Do you ask for the gold. As to the rest, a word’s enough. They go up to NICOBULUS.
NICOBULUS
What has been done?
CHRYSALUS
I’ve struck the bargain for two hundred Philippeans.
NICOBULUS
Well done! Goddess Salvation, thou hast saved me. Well, how soon am I to say I’ll pay it?
CHRYSALUS
to CLEOMACHUS . Do you ask it of him; and to NICOBULUS do you promise it him.
NICOBULUS
I promise it. To CLEOMACHUS. Come, ask me.
CLEOMACHUS
Will you give me two hundred golden Philippean pieces, lawful money?
CHRYSALUS
“They shall be given,” say: do answer him.
NICOBULUS
I’ll give them.
CHRYSALUS
Well, now, filthy fellow is there anything owing to you? Why are you plaguing him? Why are you frightening him about death? Both I and he wish you every ill luck. If you have a sword, still we have a spit at home; with which, in fact, if you provoke me, I’ll make you more full of holes than a rat’s skin when caught in a trap. I’ faith, for my part, some time since I found out what suspicion it was that tormented you; namely, that he was with that wife of yours.
CLEOMACHUS
Yes; and so he is.
CHRYSALUS
So may Jupiter, Juno, Ceres, Minerva, Hope, Latona, Ops, Virtue, Venus, Castor, Pollux, Mars, Mercury, Hercules, Summanus, the Sun, Saturn, and all the Deities, prosper me, he neither reclines with her, nor walks, nor kisses, nor does that which is wont to be reported.
NICOBULUS
aside . How he does swear! He’s saving me, however, by his perjury.
CLEOMACHUS
Where then, at this moment, is Mnesilochus?
CHRYSALUS
His father has sent him into the country. And she has gone hence to the citadel, to see the temple of Minerva. The door’s open now; go in, and see if he’s there.
CLEOMACHUS
I’ll be off to the Forum next.
CHRYSALUS
Or rather, by my troth, to very perdition.
CLEOMACHUS
Am I to demand this gold to-day?
CHRYSALUS
Demand it, and go hang yourself; don’t you suppose, you worthless fellow, that we shall be entreating of you. Exit CLEOMACHUS. He’s taken himself off. Permit me, master, I entreat you by the immortal Gods, to go in-doors here to your son. Pointing to the house of BACCHIS.
NICOBULUS
But why go in there?
CHRYSALUS
That with many words I may rebuke him, since after this fashion he has been going on this way.