by Plautus
I know her. But where are my daughters? That I’m longing to know.
GIDDENEME
At the Temple of Venus.
HANNO
What are they doing there? Tell me.
GIDDENEME
To-day is the Aphrodisia, the festive day of Venus! they have gone there to entreat the Goddess to be propitious to them.
MILPHIO
I’ faith, they’ve fully prevailed, I’m sure, inasmuch as he has arrived here.
AGORASTOCLES
aside to GIDDENEME . How now, are these his daughters?
GIDDENEME
Just as you say. To HANNO. Your kindness has clearly come to our rescue, in your having arrived here to-day at the very time; for this day their names were to have been clanged, and they were to have made a livelihood, disgraceful to their station, by their persons.
A BOY.
Haudones illi.
GIDDENEME
Havon bene si illi, in mustine. Me ipsi et eneste dum et alamna cestinum.
AGORASTOCLES
What is it they are saying among themselves? Tell me.
MILPHIO
He’s saluting his mother, and she this her son.
HANNO
Hold your peace, and let alone the woman’s gear.
MILPHIO
What gear is that?
HANNO
Loud talking without limit. To MILPHIO. Do you lead these people in-doors pointing to his SERVANTS , and bid this nurse to come away together with you to your house.
AGORASTOCLES
to MILPHIO . Do as he requests.
GIDDENEME
to HANNO . But who’s to point them out to you?
AGORASTOCLES
I will, right skilfully.
GIDDENEME
I’ll go away then.
AGORASTOCLES
I’d only rather that you would do so, than say so. She goes into the house of AGORASTOCLES.
MILPHIO
Upon my faith, I do think that this day the very thing that I said by way of joke will be coming to pass both soberly and seriously, that these will be discovered to-day to be his daughters.
AGORASTOCLES
Troth, that very thing is quite certain now. Do you, Milphio, take them pointing to the SERVANTS in-doors; we’ll wait here for these damsels. I wish a dinner to be got ready for my kinsman on his arrival.
MILPHIO
Lachananim you! aside to the SERVANTS , whom I’ll just now be packing off to the mill-stones, and from there after that to the dungeon and the oaken log. I’ll give you reason to praise your treatment here but slightly.
AGORASTOCLES
to HANNO . Do you hear, kinsman? I say, don’t you revoke what has been said; promise me your elder daughter in marriage.
HANNO
Consider the thing as agreed on.
AGORASTOCLES
Do you promise her, then?
HANNO
I do promise her.
AGORASTOCLES
My kinsman, blessings on you! for now you are mine beyond a doubt; now at length shall I converse with her without restraint. Now, kinsman, if you wish to see your daughters, follow me.
HANNO
Why, really, this long time I’ve been longing for it, and I’ll follow you.
AGORASTOCLES
What if we go and meet them?
HANNO
But I’m afraid lest we should pass them on the road. Great Jupiter, do now reinstate my fortunes for me as being certain instead of uncertain!
AGORASTOCLES
I trust that my charmer will be my own. But look, I catch sight of them.
HANNO
What, are these my daughters? How tall from being such little creatures have they now become!
AGORASTOCLES
Do you know how it is? These are Grecian columns; they are wont to be erect. They stand aside.
Enter ADELPHASIUM and ANTERBASTYLIS, from the Temple of Venus.
ADELPHASIUM
’Twas worth the while, to-day, of him who has a taste for loveliness to afford a feast to his eyes, in coming hither to the Temple this day to see the sights. Upon my faith, I was charmed there to-day with the most elegant offerings of the courtesans, worthy of Venus, the most handsome Goddess; nor did I despise her worship this day; so great an abundance of beauteous objects was there there, each nicely arranged in its own place. The odours of Arabia and of myrrh filled everything. The festive day seemed to be affected with no gloom, Venus, nor did thy Temple; so great a throng of her dependants was there, who had come to Venus of Calydon.
ANTERASTYLIS
But certainly, as far indeed as regarded us two, sister, we were all-powerful in our prayers, beauteous and gainers of her favour; neither were we there held in ridicule by the young men, which, i’ faith, sister, happened to all the rest.
ADELPHASIUM
I’d rather that it should so appear to other persons, than that you, sister, should praise yourself.
ANTERASTYLIS
Indeed, I trust so.
ADELPHASIUM
Troth, and so do I, when I reflect of what breeding we and the others are. We were born in that station, that it befits us to be unblemished by faultiness.
HANNO
apart . Jupiter, who dost preserve and feed the race of men, through whom we pass this mortal life, in whose hands are the hopes of life in all men, prithee, do grant this day as a prosperous one for my fortunes! Those whom I’ve missed for many years, and whom when little I lost from their native land, to them restore their liberty, that I may be sure that for an indomitable sense of duty there is a reward.
AGORASTOCLES
apart . I’ll engage that Jove shall do it all; for to me he is indebted, and stands in awe of me.
HANNO
apart . Prithee, do hold your peace. He weeps.
AGORASTOCLES
apart . Kinsman, do not weep.
ANTERASTYLIS
apart . As it is a pleasure for a man, my sister, if he succeeds in anything, to have the credit of victory, just so did we this day among the rest excel them all in beauty.
ADELPHASIUM
Sister, you are more silly than I could wish. Prithee, do you really think yourself a beauty, if your face has not been besmeared with soot?
AGORASTOCLES
apart . O kinsman! O kinsman, dearest of all kinsmen to me!
HANNO
apart . What is it, son of my cousin? My son, tell me, what is it you wish?
AGORASTOCLES
apart . Why, really, I do wish you to attend to this.
HANNO
apart . Why, really, I am attending to it.
AGORASTOCLES
apart . Kinsman, kinsman, dearest of all kinsmen to me!
HANNO
apart . What’s the matter? AGO. apart . She’s a clever and a nice girl. How shrewd she is!
HANNO
apart . She has her father’s disposition in being shrewd.
AGORASTOCLES
apart . How’s that? This long time, i’ faith, she has surely used up your shrewdness. ’Tis from here pointing to himself she now derives her shrewdness; ’tis from here her sense; whatever she does shrewdly, through my love does she act so shrewdly.
ADELPHASIUM
We are not born of that rank, although we are slaves, sister, that it should befit us to do anything which any man may laugh at. Many are the faults of women; but of the many, this one is the greatest, to please themselves too much, and to give their attention too little to pleasing the men.
ANTERASTYLIS
It was a very great delight that was portended in our sacrifice of the entrails, sister, and what the soothsayer said about us both ——
AGORASTOCLES
apart . I wish he had said something about me!
ANTERASTYLIS
That we should be free in a few days, in spite of our owner. I don’t know why I should hope for that, unless the Gods or our parents do something.
AGORASTOCLES
apart . ’Twas through confidence in me, kinsman, upon my faith, that the soothsayer promised them liberty, I’m sure of it, because he knows I’m in love with her.
ADELPHASIUM
Sister, follow me this way. Moves as if going.
ANTERASTYLIS
I follow. Moves also.
HANNO
stepping forward . Before you go away, I want you both. Unless it’s inconvenient, stop.
ADELPHASIUM
Who’s calling us back?
AGORASTOCLES
One who wishes to do you a kindness.
ADELPHASIUM
There’s opportunity for doing it. But who is the person?
AGORASTOCLES
A friend of yours.
ADELPHASIUM
One> who is not an enemy, in fact.
AGORASTOCLES
This is a good man, my love.
ADELPHASIUM
I’ faith, I should prefer him rather than a bad one.
AGORASTOCLES
If, indeed, friendship must be engaged in, with such a person ought it to be engaged in.
ADELPHASIUM
I don’t beg for it.
AGORASTOCLES
He wishes to do you many services.
ADELPHASIUM
Being good yourself you will be doing good to the good.
HANNO
I will cause you joy ——
ADELPHASIUM
And, i’ faith, we pleasure to you.
HANNO
And liberty.
ADELPHASIUM
At that price you’ll easily make us your own.
AGORASTOCLES
My kinsman, so may the Gods bless me, if I were Jupiter, upon my faith I’d at once marry her for my wife, and pack Juno out of doors. How quietly did she utter her words, how considerately and becomingly! how modestly did she frame her speech! certainly she is my own!
HANNO
apart to AGORASTOCLES . But how skilfully I accosted her!
AGORASTOCLES
Cleverly and becomingly, upon my faith.
HANNO
Am I still to go on testing them?
AGORASTOCLES
Compress it in a few words; the people who are sitting here are getting thirsty.
HANNO
Well, why don’t we proceed to do that which was to be done? To the WOMEN. I summon you to justice.
AGORASTOCLES
Seize hold of this one, kinsman, if you are wise. Should you like me to catch hold of her?
ADELPHASIUM
Is this person your kinsman, Agorastocles?
AGORASTOCLES
I’ll soon let you know. Now, by my word, I’ll be nicely revenged on you; for I’ll make —— you my bride.
HANNO
Come before a court of justice; don’t delay!
AGORASTOCLES
Summon me as your witness, and take me; I’ll be a witness for you; and after that, her pointing to ADELPHASIUM will I love and embrace. But ’twas this, indeed, I intended to say — why yes, I did say that which I intended to say.
HANNO
to the DAMSELS . You are lingering. I summon you to justice, unless it is more becoming for you to be dragged thither.
ADELPHASIUM
Why do you summon us to justice? What are we in your debt?
AGORASTOCLES
He’ll tell it there.
ADELPHASIUM
Are even my own dogs barking at me?
AGORASTOCLES
Then, troth, do you caress me; give me a kiss in place of a piece of meat; present your lips in place of a bone: that way I’ll render this dog more smooth for you than oil.
HANNO
Come on, if you are coming.
ADELPHASIUM
What have we done to you?
HANNO
You are thieves, both of you.
ADELPHASIUM
What, we, as regards you?
HANNO
You, I say.
AGORASTOCLES
And I know it.
ADELPHASIUM
What theft is this?
AGORASTOCLES
Enquire of him.
HANNO
Because for many years you have been concealing my daughters from me, and, in fact, persons free-born, and free, and born of the highest rank.
ADELPHASIUM
I’ faith, you’ll never find that villany to have been committed by us.
AGORASTOCLES
Make a bet of a kiss now, if you are not forsworn, which is to give it to the other.
ADELPHASIUM
I’ve nothing to do with you; prithee, get you gone.
AGORASTOCLES
But, i’ faith, I’ve got something to do with you; for he is my kinsman; it’s necessary for me to be his advocate. And I’ll inform him how you are guilty of many a theft, and in what way you have got his daughters as slaves at your house, whom you know to be free women stolen from their native land.
ADELPHASIUM
Where are these, or who are they, prithee?
AGORASTOCLES
aside to HANNO . They have been teased sufficiently.
HANNO
aside . Why not speak out, then?
AGORASTOCLES
aside . I’ faith, I’m of that opinion, kinsman.
ADELPHASIUM
I’m dreadfully afraid what this business can mean, my sister; so astounded am I, I stand here without my senses.
HANNO
Damsels, give me your attention. In the first place, if it could possibly come to pass, for the Gods not to send upon the innocent what is undeserved, that could I have wished to happen; now for the good the Gods bestow upon me, upon yourselves and upon your nurse, ’tis due that we should give to the Deities our endless thanks, since the immortal Gods approve and reward our piety. You are my daughters, both of you, and this is your relation, Agorastocles, the son of my cousin.
ADELPHASIUM
Prithee, are they deluding us with imaginary joys?
AGORASTOCLES
Really, so may the Deities preserve me, this is your father. Give him your hands.
ADELPHASIUM
embracing him . Welcome, father! unhoped-for by us, allow us to embrace you!
ANTERASTYLIS
embracing him . Welcome, father! much wished and longed for! We are both your daughters; we both embrace you.
AGORASTOCLES
Who’ll be for embracing me in the next place?
HANNO
Now am I happy! Now with this delight do I allay the miseries of many a year.
ADELPHASIUM
We hardly seem to believe this.
HANNO
I’ll tell you something to make you believe it the more: why, it was your nurse who recognized me first.
ADELPHASIUM
Prithee, where is she?
HANNO
pointing to AGORASTOCLES . She’s at his house.
AGORASTOCLES
to ADELPHASIUM, who is embracing her father . Pray, why does it please you to clasp his neck so long, before he has betrothed you to me? Dear one, much longed-for, blessings on you! He embraces her.
ADELPHASIUM
struggling . Do leave off your salutations!
AGORASTOCLES
I will leave off. And you the other one. To ANTERASTYLIS, whom he embraces.
ANTERASTYLIS
struggling . I don’t want that; you torment me to death!
HANNO
Let us each clasp the other in our arms, than whom is there anything on earth more happy?
AGORASTOCLES
Blessings befall the deserving. Pointing to HANNO. At last his wishes are realized! O Apelles! O Zeuxis the painter! why did you die too soon? Would that you could paint a subject after this! For I don’t care for other common painters to be treating subjects of this description.
HANNO
Gods and Goddesses all! I return you deservedly extreme thanks, for having blest m
e with this gladness so supreme and with these joys so great; as my daughters have returned to me and into my possession.
ADELPHASIUM
My father, your own piety has clearly come to our aid.
AGORASTOCLES
Kinsman, take care and keep it in memory that you’ve betrothed your elder daughter to me ——
HANNO
I remember it.
AGORASTOCLES
The portion, too, that you promised.
Enter ANTHEMONIDES, from the house of LYCUS.
ANTHEMONIDES
to himself . If I don’t take full revenge for that mina which I gave to the Procurer, then really may the townspeople make a butt of me! This most rascally fellow even brought me to his house to breakfast. He himself went away out of doors, and left me as his chamberlain in the house. When neither the Procurer nor these women came back, nor anything was given me to eat, for the best part of the breakfast I took a pledge, and came out of doors. This way I’ll pay him. I’ll touch up the rascally Procurer in the military way of payment. He did get hold of a person for him to bamboozle out of a mina of silver! But I wish that my mistress would now come in my way while thus enraged. Then, by my troth, with my fists I’d make her quite black all over; I’d cover her so with swarthiness, that she should be much more swarthy than the Egyptians, or than those who carry the buckets at the games in the Circus.
ADELPHASIUM
running to AGORASTOCLES . Do hold me fast, please, my love; I sadly fear the kites; this is an evil animal — lest perchance he may carry me off, your chick.
ANTERASTYLIS
embracing her FATHER . I cannot clasp you fast enough, my father!
ANTHEMONIDES
to himself . I’m delaying. Looking in his hand. I can now pretty nearly cater a breakfast for myself with this. Raising his eyes. But what’s this? How’s this? What’s this? What’s this I see? How now? What means this strange conjunction? What’s this coupling together? Who’s this fellow with the long skirts, just like a tavern-boy? Do I quite see with my eyes? Isn’t this my mistress, Anterastylis? Why, surely it is she. For some time past I’ve perceived that I’m set at nought. Isn’t the girl ashamed to be hugging a tawny fellow in the middle of the street? I faith, I shall give him up forthwith to the executioner to be tortured all over. Surely this is a womanish race, with their tunics hanging down to their heels. But I’m determined to accost this African female lover. To HANNO. Hallo! you woman, I say, are you not ashamed? What business have you with her, pray? Tell me.
HANNO
Young man, greetings to you.
ANTHEMONIDES
I don’t want them; that’s nothing to you. What business have you to touch her with a finger?
HANNO
Because I choose.