by Plautus
GRIPUS
You demand what’s real justice.
TRACHALIO
By my troth, then, he doesn’t demand yourself; for you are the opposite of justice.
DÆM.
Now then, say on, young woman. Gripus, give attention and hold your tongue.
PALAESTRA
There are some trinkets.
DÆM.
looking in the casket . See, here they are, I espy them.
GRIPUS
aside . In the first onset I an. worsted; takes hold of the arm of DÆMONES hold, don’t be showing.
DÆM.
Of what description are they? Answer in their order.
PALAESTRA
In the first place, there’s a little sword of gold, with an inscription.
DÆM.
Just tell me, what the characters are upon that little sword.
PALAESTRA
The name of my father. Next, on the other side, there’s a little two-edged axe, of gold likewise, with an inscription: there on the axe is the name of my mother.
DÆM.
Stay; tell me, what’s the name of your father upon the little sword?
PALAESTRA
Dæmones.
DÆM.
Immortal Gods! where in the world are my hopes?
GRIPUS
Aye, by my troth, and where are mine?
DÆM.
Do proceed forthwith, I entreat you.
GRIPUS
Cautiously, or else aside away to utter perdition.
DÆM.
Say, what’s the name of your mother, here upon the little axe?
PALAESTRA
Dædalis.
DÆM.
The Gods will that I should be preserved.
GRIPUS
But that I should be ruined.
DÆM.
This must be my own daughter, Gripus.
GRIPUS
She may be for me, indeed. To TRACHALIO. May all the Gods confound you who this day saw me with your eyes, and myself as well for a blockhead, who didn’t look about a hundred times first to see that no one was watching me, before I drew the net out of the water.
PALAESTRA
Next, there’s a little knife of silver, and two little hands linked together, and then a little sow.
GRIPUS
aside . Nay, then, go and be hanged, you with your little sow and with your little pigs.
PALAESTRA
There’s also a golden drop, which my father presented to me upon my birthday.
DÆM.
Undoubtedly there is; but I cannot restrain myself any longer from embracing you. My daughter, blessings on you; I am that father who begot you; I am Dæmones, and see, your mother Dædalis is in the house here pointing to his cottage .
AMPELISCA
embracing him . Blessings on you, my unlooked-for father.
DÆM.
Blessings on you; how joyously do I embrace you.
TRACHALIO
’Tis a pleasure to me, inasmuch as this falls to your lot from your feelings of affection.
DÆM.
Come then, Trachalio, if you can, bring that wallet into the house.
TRACHALIO
taking the wallet . See the villany of Gripus; inasmuch, Gripus, as this matter has turned out unfortunately for you, I congratulate you.
DÆM.
Come, then, let’s go, my daughter, to your mother, who will be better able to enquire of you into this matter from proofs; who had you more in her hands, and is more thoroughly acquainted with your tokens.
TRACHALIO
Let’s all go hence in-doors, since we are giving our common aid.
PALAESTRA
Follow me, Ampelisca.
AMPELISCA
That the Gods favour you, it is a pleasure to me. They all go into the cottage of DÆMONES, exceptGRIPUS.
GRIPUS
to himself . Am I not a blockhead of a fellow, to have this day fished up that wallet? Or, when I had fished it up, not to have hidden it somewhere in a secret spot? By my troth, I guessed that it would be a troublesome booty for me, because it fell to me in such troublous weather. I’ faith, I guess that there’s plenty of gold and silver there. What is there better for me than to be off hence in-doors and secretly hang myself — at least for a little time, until this vexation passes away from me? Goes into the cottage.
Enter DÆMONES, from his cottage.
DÆM.
to himself. O ye immortal Gods, what person is there more fortunate than I, who unexpectedly have discovered my daughter? Isn’t it the fact, that if the Gods will a blessing to befall any person, that longed-for pleasure by some means or other, falls to the lot of the virtuous? I this day, a thing that I never hoped for nor yet believed, have unexpectedly discovered my daughter, and I shall bestow her upon a respectable young man of noble family, an Athenian, and my kinsman. For that reason I wish him to be fetched hither to me as soon as possible, and I’ve requested my servant to come out here, that he may go to the Forum. Still, I’m surprised at it that he isn’t yet come out. I think I’ll go to the door. Opens the door, and looks in. What do I behold? Embracing her, my wife is clasping my daughter around her neck. Her caressing is really almost too foolish and sickening.
DÆM.
Goes to the door again, and calls out. ‘Twere better, wife, for an end to be made at last of your kissing; and make all ready that I may perform a sacrifice, when I come in-doors, in honor of the household Gods, inasmuch as they have increased our family. At home I have lambs and swine for sacred use. But why, ladies, are you detaining that Trachalio? Oh, I see he’s coming out of doors, very seasonably. Enter TRACHALIO, from the cottage.
TRACHALIO
speaking to those within . Wheresoever he shall be, I’ll seek Plesidippus out at once, and bring him together with me to you.
DÆM.
Tell him how this matter has fallen out about my daughter. Request him to leave other occupations and to come here.
TRACHALIO
Very well
DÆM.
Tell him that I’ll give him my daughter for a wife.
TRACHALIO
Very well.
DÆM.
And that I knew his father, and that he is a relation of my own.
TRACHALIO
Very well.
DÆM.
But do make haste.
TRACHALIO
Very well.
DÆM.
Take care and let a dinner be prepared here at once.
TRACHALIO
Very well.
DÆM.
What, all very well?
TRACHALIO
Very well. But do you know what it is I want of you? That you’ll remember what you promised, that this day I’m to be free.
DÆM.
Very well.
TRACHALIO
Take care and entreat Plesidippus to give me my freedom.
DÆM.
Very well.
TRACHALIO
And let your daughter request it; she’ll easily prevail.
DÆM.
Very well.
TRACHALIO
And that Ampelisca may marry me, when I’m a free man.
DÆM.
Very well.
TRACHALIO
And that I may experience a pleasing return to myself in kindness for my actions.
DÆM.
Very well.
TRACHALIO
What, all very well?
DÆM.
Very well. Again I return you thanks. But do you make haste to proceed to the city forthwith, and betake yourself hither again.
TRACHALIO
Very well. I’ll be here directly. In the meanwhile, do you make the other preparations that are necessary. (Exit TRACHALIO.)
DÆM.
Very well — may Hercules ill befriend him with his “very-welling;” he has so stuffed my ears with it. Whatever it was I said, “very well” was the answer.<
br />
Enter GRIPUS, from the cottage.
GRIPUS
How soon may I have a word with you, Dæmones?
DÆM.
What’s your business, Gripus?
GRIPUS
Touching that wallet, if you are wise, be wise; keep what goods the Gods provide you.
DÆM.
Does it seem right to you, that, what belongs to another I should assert to be my own?
GRIPUS
What, not a thing that I found in the sea?
DÆM.
So much the better does it happen for him who lost it; none the more is it necessary that it should be your wallet.
GRIPUS
For this reason are you poor because you are too scrupulously righteous.
DÆM.
O Gripus, Gripus, in the life of man very many traps there are, in what they are deceived by guile. And, by my troth, full often is a bait placed in them, which bait if any greedy person greedily snaps at, through his own greediness he is caught in the trap. He who prudently, skilfully, and warily, takes precaution, full long he may enjoy that which is honestly acquired. This booty seems to me to be about to be made a booty of by me, that it may go hence with a greater blessing than it first came. What, ought I to conceal what I know was brought to me as belonging to another? By no means will my friend Dæmones do that. ’Tis ever most becoming for prudent men to be on their guard against this, that they be not themselves confederates with their servants in evil-doing. Except only when I’m gaming, I don’t care for any gain.
GRIPUS
At times, I’ve seen the Comedians, when acting, in this fashion repeat sayings in a wise manner, and be applauded for them, when they pointed out this prudent conduct to the public. But when each person went thence his own way home, there wasn’t one after the fashion which they had recommended.
DÆM.
Go in-doors, don’t be troublesome, moderate your tongue. I’m going to give you nothing, don’t you deceive yourself.
GRIPUS
apart . Then I pray the Gods that whatever’s in that wallet, whether it’s gold, or whether silver, it may all become ashes. Goes into the cottage.
DÆM.
This is the reason why we have bad servants. For this master, if he had combined with any servant, would have made both himself and the other guilty of a theft. While he was thinking that he himself had made a capture, in the meantime he himself would have been made a capture: capture would have led to capture. Now will I go in-doors from here and sacrifice; after that, I’ll at once order the dinner to be cooked for us. Goes into the cottage.
Enter PLESIDIPPUS and TRACHALIO, at the further end of the stage.
PLESIDIPPUS
Tell me all these things over again my life, my Trachalio, my freed-man, my patron, aye rather, my father; has Palæstra found her father and mother?
TRACHALIO
She has found them.
PLESIDIPPUS
And is she my countrywoman?
TRACHALIO
So I think.
PLESIDIPPUS
And is she to marry me?
TRACHALIO
So I suspect.
PLESIDIPPUS
Prithee, do you reckon that he will betroth her to me?
TRACHALIO
So I reckon.
PLESIDIPPUS
Well, shall I congratulate her father too upon his finding her?
TRACHALIO
So I reckon.
PLESIDIPPUS
Well, her mother too?
TRACHALIO
So I reckon.
PLESIDIPPUS
What then do you reckon?
TRACHALIO
What you ask me, I reckon.
PLESIDIPPUS
Tell me then how much do you reckon it at?
TRACHALIO
What I, I reckon ——
PLESIDIPPUS
Then really, do carry over. Don’t be always making a reckoning.
TRACHALIO
So I reckon.
PLESIDIPPUS
What if I run? Pretends to run.
TRACHALIO
So I reckon.
PLESIDIPPUS
Or rather gently, this way? He walks slowly.
TRACHALIO
So I reckon.
PLESIDIPPUS
Ought I to salute her as well when I arrive?
TRACHALIO
So I reckon.
PLESIDIPPUS
Her father too?
TRACHALIO
So I reckon.
PLESIDIPPUS
After that, her mother?
TRACHALIO
So I reckon.
PLESIDIPPUS
And what after that? When I arrive, should I also embrace her father?
TRACHALIO
So I don’t reckon.
PLESIDIPPUS
Well, her mother?
TRACHALIO
So I don’t reckon.
PLESIDIPPUS
Well, her own self?
TRACHALIO
So I don’t reckon.
PLESIDIPPUS
Confusion, he has closed his reckoning; now when I wish him, he doesn’t reckon.
TRACHALIO
You are not in your senses; follow me.
PLESIDIPPUS
Conduct me, my patron, where you please. They go into the cottage of DÆMONES.
ACT V.
Enter LABRAX, at a distance.
LABRAX
to himself . What other mortal being is there living this day more wretched than myself, whom before the commissioned judges Plesidippus has just now cast? Palæstra has just been taken from me by award. I’m ruined outright. But I do believe that Procurers were procreated for mere sport; so much do all persons make sport if any misfortune befalls a Procurer. Now I’ll go look here, in the Temple of Venus, for that other female, that her at least I may take away, the only portion of my property that remains. He retires a little distance.
Enter GRIPUS, from the cottage of DÆMONES, with a spit in his hand.
GRIPUS
calling to the PEOPLE within . By the powers, you shall never this day at nightfall behold Gripus alive, unless the wallet is restored to me.
LABRAX
behind . I’m ready to die; when I hear mentior made anywhere of a wallet, I’m thumped, as it were with a stake, upon the breast.
GRIPUS
at the door, continuing . That scoundrel is free; I, the person that held the net in the sea, and drew up the wallet, to him you refuse to give anything.
LABRAX
behind . O ye immortal Gods! by his talk this person has made me prick up my ears.
GRIPUS
continuing . By my troth, in letters a cubit long, I’ll immediately post it up in every quarter, “If any person has lost a wallet with plenty of gold and silver, let him come to Gripus.” You shan’t keep it as you are wishing.
LABRAX
behind . I’ faith, this person knows, as I think, who has got the wallet. This person must be accosted by me; ye Gods, aid me, I do entreat you. Some one calls GRIPUS, from within.
GRIPUS
Why are you calling me back in-doors? He rubs away at the spit. I want to clean this here before the door. But surely this, i’ faith, has been made of rust, and not of iron; so that the more I rub it, it becomes quite red and more slender. Why surely this spit has been drugged; it does waste away so in my hands.
LABRAX
accosting him . Save you, young man.
GRIPUS
May the Gods prosper you with your shorn pate.
LABRAX
What’s going on?
GRIPUS
A spit being cleaned.
LABRAX
How do you do?
GRIPUS
What are you? Prithee, are you a medicant?
LABRAX
No, i’ faith, I am more than a medicant by one letter.
GRIPUS
Then you are a “mendicant.”<
br />
LABRAX
You’ve hit it to a nicety.
GRIPUS
Your appearance seems suitable to it. But what’s the matter with you?
LABRAX
Troth, this last night I was shipwrecked at sea the vessel was cast away, and to my misfortune I lost there everything that I had.
GRIPUS
What did you lose?
LABRAX
A wallet with plenty of gold and silver.
GRIPUS
Do you at all remember what there was in the wallet which was lost?
LABRAX
What matters for us now to be talking of it, if, in spite of it, it’s lost?
GRIPUS
What if I know who has found it? I wish to learn from you the tokens.
LABRAX
Eight hundred golden pieces were there in a purse, besides a hundred Philippean minæ in a wash-leather bag apart.
GRIPUS
aside . Troth, it is a noble prize; I shall be getting a handsome reward. The Gods show respect to mortals; therefore I shall come off bounteously rewarded. No doubt, it is this man’s wallet. To LABRAX. Do you proceed to relate the rest.
LABRAX
A large talent of silver of full weight was in a purse, besides a bowl, a goblet, a beaker, a boat, and a cup.
GRIPUS
Astonishing! you really did have some splendid riches.
LABRAX
A shocking expression is that, and a most abominable one. “You did have, and now have not.”
GRIPUS
What would you be ready to give to one who should find these out for you, and give you information? Say, speedily and at once.
LABRAX
Three hundred didrachms.
GRIPUS
Rubbish.
LABRAX
Four hundred.
GRIPUS
Old thrums.
LABRAX
Five hundred.
GRIPUS
A rotten nut.
LABRAX
Six hundred.
GRIPUS
You are prating about mere tiny weevils.
LABRAX
I’ll give seven hundred.
GRIPUS
Your mouth is hot, you are cooling it just now.
LABRAX
I’ll give a thousand didrachms.
GRIPUS
You are dreaming.
LABRAX
I add no more; be off with you.
GRIPUS
Hear me then; if, i’ faith, I should be off from here, I shan’t be here.
LABRAX
Would you like a hundred as well as the thousand?
GRIPUS
You are asleep.
LABRAX
Say how much you ask.
GRIPUS
That you mayn’t be adding anything against your inclination, a great talent; it’s not possible for three obols to be bated thence; then do you say either “yes” or “no” at once.