by Plautus
CHARMIDES
I am Charmides.
A SHARPER.
I’ faith, you are so to no purpose, for I carry no gold. Right cleverly were you down upon me, at the very nick of time. After I said that I was bringing the gold, that instant you became Charmides. Before I made mention of the gold, you were not he. It won’t do. Just, therefore, in such manner as you Charmidised yourself, do you again un-Charmidise yourself.
CHARMIDES
Who am I, then, if in fact I am not he who I really am?
A SHARPER.
What matters that to me? So long as you are not he whom I do not choose you to be, you may be who you like, for what I care. Just now, you were not he who you were, now you are become he who then you were not.
CHARMIDES
Come, despatch, if you are going to do it.
A SHARPER.
What am I to do?
CHARMIDES
Give me back the gold.
A SHARPER.
You are dreaming, old gentleman.
CHARMIDES
Did you own that Charmides delivered the gold to you?
A SHARPER.
Yes — in writing.
CHARMIDES
Are you making haste or not, you night-robber, to be off with all speed this very instant from this neighbourhood, before I order you to be soundly cudgelled on the spot?
A SHARPER.
For what reason?
CHARMIDES
Because I am that self-same Charmides about whom you have been thus lying, and who you said gave the letters to you.
A SHARPER.
How now; prithee, are you really he?
CHARMIDES
I really am he.
A SHARPER.
Say you so, pray? Are you really he himself?
CHARMIDES
I do say so.
A SHARPER.
Are you his own self?
CHARMIDES
His own self, I say. I am Charmides.
A SHARPER.
And are you then his own self?
CHARMIDES
His own very self. Begone hence out of my sight.
A SHARPER.
Since you really have made your appearance here thus late, you shall be beaten both at my own award and that of the new Ædiles.
CHARMIDES
And are you abusing me as well?
A SHARPER.
Yes; seeing that you have arrived in safety, may the Gods confound me, if I care a straw for you, had you perished first. I have received the money for this job; you, I devote to bad luck. But who you are, or who you are not, I care not one jot. I’ll go and carry word to him who gave me the three pieces, that he may know that he has thrown them away. I’m off. Live with a curse, and fare you ill; may all the Gods confound you, Charmides, for coming from abroad. (Exit.)
CHARMIDES
Since this fellow has gone, at last a time and opportunity seem to have arrived for speaking out without restraint. Already does this sting pierce my breast — what business he could have before my house? For these letters summon apprehensions into my heart; those thousand pieces, too — what purpose they were to serve. I’ faith, a bell is never rung for no purpose; unless some one handles it or moves it, ’tis mute, ’tis dumb. But who is this, that is beginning to run this way along the street? I should like to observe what he is about. I’ll step aside this way. He retires aside.
Enter STASIMUS.
STASIMUS
to himself . Stasimus, make you haste with all speed; away with you to your master’s house, lest on a sudden, through your folly, fears should arise for your shoulder-blades. Quicken your pace, make haste; ’tis now a long while since you left the house. If you shall be absent when inquired after by your master, take you care, please, that the smacks of the bull’s-hide don’t clatter thick upon you. Don’t you cease running. See now, Stasimus, what a worthless fellow you are; and isn’t it the fact that you have forgotten your ring at the liquor- shop after you have been washing your throat with warm drink? Turn about, and run back now, to seek it, while the thing has but just happened.
CHARMIDES
behind . Whoever he is, his throat is his taskmaster; that teaches this fellow the art of running.
STASIMUS
What, good-for-nothing fellow, are you not ashamed of yourself? having lost your memory after only three cups? And really, because you were there drinking together with such honest fellows, who could keep their hands off the property of another without difficulty; — is it among such men that you expect you may recover your ring? Chiruchus was there, Cerconicus, Crimnus, Cricolabus, Collabus, whipped-necks, whipped-legs, iron-rubbers, whipped-knaves. By my faith, any one of these could steal the sole of his shoe from a running footman.
CHARMIDES
behind . So may the Gods love me, a finished thief.
STASIMUS
Why should I go seek what is gone for ever? Unless I would bestow my pains, too, by way of addition over and above to my loss. Why, then, don’t you consider that what is gone is gone? Tack about, then. Betake yourself back to your master.
CHARMIDES
behind . This fellow is no runaway; he remembers his home.
STASIMUS
I wish that the old-fashioned ways of old-fashioned days, and the old-fashioned thriftiness, were in greater esteem here, rather than these bad ways.
CHARMIDES
behind . Immortal Gods! this man really is beginning to talk of noble doings! He longs for the old-fashioned ways; know that he loves the old-fashioned ways, after the fashion of our forefathers.
STASIMUS
For, now-a-days, men’s manners reckon of no value what is proper, except what is agreable. Ambition now is sanctioned by usage, and is free from the laws. By usage, people have the license to throw away their shields, and to run away from the enemy. To seek honor thereby in place of disgrace is the usage.
CHARMIDES
behind . A shameless usage.
STASIMUS
Now-a-days, ’tis the usage to neglect the brave.
CHARMIDES
behind . Aye, ’tis really shocking.
STASIMUS
The public manners have now got the laws in their power; to them they are more submissive than are parents to their children. In their misery, these laws are even hung up against the wall with iron nails, where it had been much more becoming for bad ways to be fixed up.
CHARMIDES
behind . I’d like to go up and accost this person; but I listen to him with much pleasure, and I’m afraid, if I address him, that he may begin to talk on some other subject.
STASIMUS
And, for these ways, there is nothing rendered sacred by the law. The laws are subservient to usage; but these habits are hastening to sweep away both what is sacred and what is public property.
CHARMIDES
behind . By my troth, ‘twere right for some great calamity to befal these bad customs.
STASIMUS
Ought not this state of things to be publicly censured? For this kind of men are the enemies of all persons, and do an injury to the entire people. By a non-observance of their own honour, they likewise destroy all trust even in those who merit it not; inasmuch as people form an estimate of the disposition of these from the disposition of those fellows. If you lend a person any money, it becomes lost for any purpose as one’s own. When you ask for it back again, you may find a friend made an enemy by your kindness. If you begin to press still further, the option of two things ensues — either you must part with that which you have entrusted, or else you must lose that friend. As to how this suggests itself to me, I have by actual experience been lately put in mind of it.
CHARMIDES
behind . Surely this is my servant Stasimus?
STASIMUS
For as to him to whom I lent the talent, I bought myself an enemy with my talent, and sold my friend. But I am too great a simpleton to be attending to public matters rather than (what’s m
y immediate interest) obtain safety for my back. I’ll go home. Moves as if going.
CHARMIDES
Hallo, you! Stop, this instant! Harkye; hallo, you!
STASIMUS
I’ll not stop.
CHARMIDES
I want you.
STASIMUS
What if I myself don’t want you to want me.
CHARMIDES
Why, Stasimus, you are behaving very rudely.
STASIMUS
‘Twere better for you to buy some one to give your commands to.
CHARMIDES
I’ faith, I have bought one, and paid the money, too. But if he is not obedient to my orders, what ani I to do?
STASIMUS
Give him a severe punishment.
CHARMIDES
You give good advice; I am resolved to do so.
STASIMUS
Unless, indeed, you are under obligations to him.
CHARMIDES
If he is a deserving person, I am under obligations to him; but if he is otherwise, I’ll do as you advise me.
STASIMUS
What matters it to me whether you have good or lad slaves?
CHARMIDES
Because you have a share in this matter both of the good and of the bad.
STASIMUS
The one share I leave to yourself; the other share, that in the good, do you set down to my account.
CHARMIDES
If you shall prove deserving, it shall be so. Look back at me — I am Charmides.
STASIMUS
Ha! what person is it that has made mention of that most worthy man?
CHARMIDES
’Tis that most worthy man himself.
STASIMUS
O seas, earth, heavens, by my trust in you — do I see quite clearly with my eyes? Is this he, or is it not? ’Tis he! ’Tis certainly he; ’tis he beyond a doubt! O my most earnestly wished-for master, health to you!
CHARMIDES
Health to you, too, Stasimus!
STASIMUS
That you are safe and sound, I ——
CHARMIDES
interruptitng him . I know it, and I believe you. But wave the rest; answer me this; how are my children, my son and daughter, whom I left here?
STASIMUS
They are alive, and well.
CHARMIDES
Both of them, say you?
STASIMUS
Both of them.
CHARMIDES
The Gods willed me to be safe and preserved from dangners. The rest that I want to know I will inquire about in-doors at my leisure. Let us go in-doors; follow me.
STASIMUS
Where are you going now?
CHARMIDES
Where else but to my house?
STASIMUS
Do you suppose that we are living here?
CHARMIDES
Why, where else should I suppose?
STASIMUS
Now ——
CHARMIDES
What about “now?”
STASIMUS
This house is not our own.
CHARMIDES
What is it I hear from you?
STASIMUS
Your son has sold this house.
CHARMIDES
I’m ruined.
STASIMUS
For silver minæ; ready money counted out.
CHARMIDES
How many?
STASIMUS
Forty.
CHARMIDES
I’m undone. Who has purchased it?
STASIMUS
Callicles, to whom you entrusted your affairs; he has removed here to live, and has turned us out of doors.
CHARMIDES
Where is my son now living?
STASIMUS
Here, in these back buildings. Points to the side of the house.
CHARMIDES
I’m utterly undone.
STASIMUS
I thought that this would be distressing to you when you heard of it.
CHARMIDES
To my sorrow, amid extreme dangers I have been borne over vast oceans, with the peril of my life I have preserved myself among robbers full many in number, and I have returned safe. Now, to my misery, I am here undone by reason of those same persons for whose sake I have been struggling at this time of life Grief is depriving me of my senses. Support me, Stasimus.
STASIMUS
Do you wish me to fetch you some water?
CHARMIDES
When my fortunes were in their mortal struggle, then was it befitting that water should be sprinkled upon them.
Enter CALLICLES.
CALLICLES
What noise is this that I hear before my house?
CHARMIDES
O Callicles! O Callicles! O Callicles! to what sort of friend have I entrusted my property?
CALLICLES
To one good, and faithful, and trusty, and of strict integrity. Health to you, and I rejoice that you have arrived safe and sound. ...
CHARMIDES
How, health to me? Troth, I have no patience with such health. This I wish to know; how have you kept your trust, who, without my knowledge, have utterly destroyed my property and my children that I entrusted to you and committed to your charge when going hence abroad?
CALLICLES
I don’t think that it is fair, when you don’t understand the matter, to censure your old friend with harsh words. For you are both mistaken and you are doing me a very great injustice.
CHARMIDES
Have you not bought this house which you came out of just now, and driven thence my son Lesbonicus? Is this so as I say, or is it not? Answer me.
CALLICLES
I myself did buy the house; I bought it that I might keep it for you. And without that it would have happened that your son would have sold it to another person; and then you would have lost both it and that treasure together, which, concealed there, you had entrusted to my charge. See, I restore it safe to you; for you did I buy it, not for myself.
CHARMIDES
Prithee, what do you say? By my trust in Gods and men, you make me suddenly to be quite ashamed of my error in speaking unkindly to my friend in return for his services.
CALLICLES
How, then; do you now think that I am trusty and faithful?]
CHARMIDES
I do think so,, if all these matters are so as you relate them. But what means this garb of yours?
CALLICLES
I’ll tell you. I was digging up the treasure indoors, as a marriage-portion to be given to your daughter. But I will relate to you both this and the rest in the house. Follow me.
CHARMIDES
Stasimus.
STASIMUS
Well!
CHARMIDES
Run with all haste to the Piræus, and make but one run of it. There you will at once see the ship, on board of which I was carried hither. Bid Sagario take care that the things are brought which I enjoined him, and do you go together with them. The duty has been already paid to the custom-house officer.
STASIMUS
I make no delay.
CHARMIDES
Get you gone with all speed; and be back directly.
STASIMUS
I am both there and here in an instant.
CALLICLES
to CHARMIDES. Do you follow me this way indoors.
CHARMIDES
I follow. (Exeunt CALLICLES and CHARMIDES into the house.)
STASIMUS
This man alone has remained a firm friend to my master; nor has he allowed his mind to swerve from unshaken fidelity, although I believe that he has undergone many troubles, by reason of the property and the children of my master. Still, this person, as I suspect, alone has maintained his fidelity. (Exit.)
ACT V.
Enter LYSITELES.
LYSITELES
This individual is the very first of all men; excelling all in pleasures and delights. So truly do the blessings which I desire befal me, that whatever I
undertake is brought about, and constantly succeeds: so does one delight succeed other delights. Just now, Stasimus, the servant of Lesbonicus, came to me at home. He told me that his master, Charmides, had arrived here from abroad. Now he must be forthwith waited upon by me, that the father may prove a more sure foundation in that matter on which I have treated with his son. I’ll go. But this door, with its creaking, inopportunely causes me delay. He retires to a distance.
Enter CHARMIDES and CALLICLES.
CHARMIDES
There never was, nor will there be, nor yet do I think that there is a person upon the earth, whose fidelity and constancy towards his friend equals yours. For without you, it would have been that he would have ousted me out of this house.
CALLICLES
If I have in any way acted well towards my friend, or have faithfully consulted his advantage, I seem not to be deserving of praise, but I think I am free from fault. For a benefit which is conferred on a man for his own, at once is lost to the giver; what is given only as a loan, the same there is a right to ask back, whenever you please.
CHARMIDES
’Tis so as you say. But I cannot sufficiently-wonder at this, that he has betrothed his sister into a family so influential.
CALLICLES
Aye; to Lysiteles, the son of Philto.
LYSITELES
behind . Why, he is mentioning my name.
CHARMIDES
He has got into a most worthy family.
LYSITELES
behind . Why do I hesitate to address these persons? But still, I think, I may wait awhile; for something is going to be said to the purpose about this matter.
CHARMIDES
O ——
CALLICLES
What’s the matter?
CHARMIDES
I forgot just now to tell you of it in-doors. Au I was coming hither, a while ago, a certain swindling fellow met me — a very finished sharper. He told me that he was carrying a thousand gold pieces, of my giving, to you and my son Lesbonicus; a fellow, that I know not who he was, nor have I ever seen him anywhere before. But why do you laugh?
CALLICLES
He came by my directions, as though he was one bringing the gold from you to me, to give as a portion to your daughter; that your son, when I should give it to her from my own hands, might suppose that it had been brought from you, and that he might not anyhow be enabled to discover the fact itself — that your treasure was in my possession, and demand it of me, as having belonged to his father, by the public laws.
CHARMIDES