by Lilah Rivers
“Oh, lovely. Thank you,” she said, following him.
“You will have to excuse it. I did the cooking tonight because Justine is away,” he said.
She was quiet and he glanced at her, seeing that she looked both curious and nervous. He figured she was curious about how their time would go but also nervous that it was just the two of them.
“Have you had a good day?” he asked her.
“Yes, thank you. I was mostly reading,” she said.
“That’s good. We need to get you outside though. I hope Justine can find a chance to take you into town and show you around. It is a nice city, but I wouldn’t want to send you out on your own,” he said.
“What do you do in Tucson and America for chaperones?” she asked.
Amos looked at her in confusion.
“Chaperones?” he asked.
“Yes, someone to accompany me and observe my actions,” she said.
“I-I mean, I suppose there are governesses and things for younger ladies, but you’re married and free,” he said.
“You mean there is no one to ensure that I do not make a mistake?” she asked.
Amos tried not to laugh.
“No, we don’t go around looking for people to mess up,” he said.
She breathed a sigh of relief and he couldn’t help but wonder what sort of country England was if they were always going about trying to find where someone might mess up.
“Honestly, we are fairly easygoing here in America. I trust you. You’re my wife and I don’t really know you, but I have no intention of spying on you,” Amos said.
“You are a very kind man and very different from the English,” she said with a laugh.
“I suppose that’s all right for me since you wanted to get away from them,” he said.
“Well, I honestly don’t think I could have stayed and happily married anyone there,” she said, a dark cloud passing over her face as she took her seat in the kitchen.
Amos gathered that there was something, some history there, that she did not wish to share. But he was still curious and wanting to know a great deal more about his wife so he figured that the very least he could do would be to ask her slowly and cautiously about her life.
“Tell me more about England,” he said.
“What would you like to know?” she asked.
“Is it nice?” he asked, thinking it was the best way to try and learn something from her.
“Oh, certainly. It is beautiful, and I am very fond of walking during the summer,” she said.
“Here, summer is pretty miserable,” he warned.
“Really? It is a nice climate right now,” she said.
“This is one of the nicer times. It is not too hot or anything, but during summer, it gets fairly unbearable. You can hardly walk outside without burning to a crisp,” he said.
“Oh, I did not know that. I prefer mild temperatures. Not so rainy and cold as England can get, but something like this,” she said.
Amos scooped some food onto her plate and then onto his own before he sat down to begin eating.
They each started right away and dove into the meal with excitement. Amos thought it appeared as though she was happy with what he had offered.
“Well, I hope that you aren’t too upset when it gets hot,” he replied.
These still were far from the types of things that Amos wanted to know. He was desperate to learn more about her and to figure out what she was like and what her past had been.
“And what of your family?” he finally asked. “Are they still around?”
Gemma took in a sharp breath and exhaled it just as quickly. She settled a resigned look on her face and nodded.
“Yes, they are still around,” she said, going quiet after that.
“I see,” he said.
They were both silent for a time, but he finally found the courage to continue asking his questions.
“Do you mind telling me a little bit about them?” he asked.
She looked uncomfortable and did not make eye contact but nodded again.
“If you wish. I have wonderful parents. A very good mother and father. But they wanted a different life for me than what I wished for myself,” she said.
“How so?” he asked.
She cleared her throat and stretched her neck.
“Well, they were wonderful parents, as I said,” she repeated. “But they just had dreams for my life that were vastly different from what I desired.”
It was nothing more than what she had only just told him and Amos realized that he was not going to learn anything else from Gemma. She had told him as much as she was willing to tell and she would be vague otherwise.
“I see…” he said.
“And your parents?” she asked.
“They were wonderful. Well, I hardly remember my mother. She was lost when she gave birth to Justine. But my father was a tremendous man until his passing. Very hard-working,” he said.
“That is lovely. And I am sure that it passed down to you and your sister,” she said.
“I like to think so,” he replied.
“What else? I should like to learn more about them and about you and your sister,” she said.
Amos tried not to make a snarky reply that he wanted to know more about her first. He understood that he had to be patient, but it was difficult not knowing more about this woman he had just married. He wished that she would be as open as he was willing to be.
“Well, we have lived here for most of our lives. My mother and father met in eastern America but they came here with my father’s brother and a few other family members. Most have moved on, but some have remained,” he said.
“That must be nice to have a few of them nearby,” she said.
“Yes, well it is mostly Justine who I have. We don’t see other family all that often because even the ones nearby are still a few hours away,” he said.
“I see. That would be frustrating. To be so close and yet so far,” she said.
“Sure. It can be at times. We do try to get to see them, but it’s hard. The roads aren’t very good,” he said.
“There were times when I was coming here, once we were on land, when the roads were very bad, or nonexistent,” she said.
“Yes, there are parts of the country where there are still many problems,” he said.
In truth, the roads had gotten better in Tucson over recent years, but there was still much to be desired and going between cities was very difficult. He had taken a trip with his father once a few years before and it was not easy to get out of the city.
“What else can you tell me about America and the customs and traditions?” she asked.
“There is not too much to tell. I mean, not until I learn what differs from England. I guess it is hard to say because I don’t know what might surprise you,” he told her.
Gemma took another bite and appeared as though she was trying to maintain a positive attitude despite not really knowing much about her new life.
“You know, I think it was really brave of you to come to America like this. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been to leave everything behind,” he said. “Especially your parents.”
“It was not easy, but it was for the best,” she said.
“Do you have any brothers or sisters” he asked.
“None. My mother wanted more, but she had medical difficulties and was unable,” Gemma said.
“I’m sorry,” Amos replied.
“It is all right. In England, that is a shameful fact to share, so I apologize if I ought not to have said anything. But it feels as though things are different here,” she said.
“I’m your husband. You can tell me anything. I won’t judge,” he said.
“In England, if anyone learned that she was unable, they may suspect that I, too, am unable. That it could be something which she has passed down to me and made me worthless as a wife,” Gemma said, looking upset.
“I hadn’t even considered that,” Amos said, thinkin
g it ridiculous. “But even if that were the case, you should know that I believe everyone has value. And women have more value than just the children that they bring into this world.”
“I appreciate that you feel that way. It is very different from our thinking,” she said.
“It must be difficult to be viewed only by giving birth,” Amos said, not understanding how anyone could look at this beautiful woman and consider only that from her.
“It is. But I also understand it. In England, it is very important to have children,” she said.
“Oh, here as well. And I fully believe that being a mother is likely the most difficult and selfless job that anyone has. But it does not mean that a woman is worth anything less if she cannot have her own children,” he said.
She looked away, shyly, as if in appreciation of his perspective and Amos hoped that she knew that he was being completely honest in this view. He really did see her as worth more than her ability to give him heirs and descendants.
“So, we have come to see one thing that is very different between our two countries,” he said with a shrug.
“Yes, I suppose so,” she laughed.
“How is dinner?” Amos asked, bringing the conversation to a lighter topic.
“It is lovely, thank you. That is another thing that is different. I have never known a man to cook,” she said.
“Usually the women do the cooking here as well, but some of us have had to learn in order to sustain ourselves,” he said.
“In England, if you are wealthy, it is only female maids who do cooking. There is no one else. I am ashamed now to say that I have no idea how. I used to think it was a matter of pride that I never had to learn but seeing you and your sister, I wish I had the skill,” Gemma said.
“Justine would be more than happy to teach you,” Amos said.
He hoped that she would accept because he would need her help once he was working and Justine had married and moved in with her new husband.
“I should like that a great deal,” she replied.
Amos was relieved, but he wanted her to see that he really did value her as more than a maid. It would take time, but at least he was starting a learn a little bit more about her.
Still, Gemma had something she was hiding, but he trusted that, with time, he would learn what that secret might be.
Chapter 10
Gemma was incredibly anxious for the evening, hoping that everything would run smoothly. She had not been introduced to very many people since the wedding, but this dinner party would be an opportunity to get to know some of her husband’s friends.
It was going to be an evening filled with wonder and new faces, but Gemma was going to make every effort to be friendly and to make her new husband proud.
He had been asking a great number of questions and trying to get to know her, but she was still nervous and didn’t know how much she could reasonably share with him.
Gemma went down the stairs just in time for the first guests to arrive. She knew to expect about fifteen or so and these two were both men that Amos worked with at the bank.
Mr. Alan and Mr. Draper both regretted that their wives could not make it as they were staying home with the children but promised that they would introduce Gemma to them as soon as possible so that she would have a great deal more friends.
“I should like that very much,” she said.
Next, Mr. and Mrs. Hobbs arrived and Justine and Mrs. Hobbs both took Gemma under their wings and drew her into conversation.
“I do love your dress. What a flattering style!” Mrs. Hobbs declared.
“Why, thank you. I feel rather silly at times because I know that it is so different from what women wear here,” she said.
“Oh, it’s not really all that different. I think that you might bring a new fashion to our little country,” Mrs. Hobbs said.
Gemma was relieved that everybody was so polite. She had been very frightened that she would embarrass herself or Amos, but people were gracious. She even had numerous comments about the beauty of her accent as more people arrived.
Soon, the house felt quite full and she counted no less than twenty people that she had met. Most of them were men who worked with Amos and their wives, but there were a few other friends from church as well.
Gemma tried her very best to be friendly and polite, shaking everyone’s hand and trying to remember not to be offended when no one curtseyed or bowed to her.
She stood by Justine as often as possible, clinging to Amos’s sister in order that she might have someone to turn to if anything became difficult or if she did not understand a custom.
Gemma eventually found herself in conversation with a fairly large group of nine others, all of whom were asking her about her life.
“So do you like America?” asked one man whose name she could not recall.
“Oh, indeed, it is quite lovely!” Gemma exclaimed.
“Did you like it better than last time? And were you really so happy during your previous visit that you were unafraid to move here or was it because you fell in love?” asked Mr. Draper.
Gemma looked at him, questioningly.
“My previous visit?” she asked.
“Yes, the last time you came to Tucson. When you first met your husband,” he said.
“Oh, I have never been to America before,” she explained, wondering where he had gotten such an idea that she had been before and had met Amos before this.
“Y-you haven’t?” Mr. Hobbs asked.
“No, this was my first trip to America. I do like it though. The weather is so much better than England,” she said.
There was a strange tension in the room all of a sudden and Gemma didn’t understand it. She saw a number of uncomfortable glances off to the left of the room and she, herself, finally looked.
There stood Amos, a look of horror on his face. He was very red and looked utterly mortified.
Gemma could not understand what had taken place or why he was looking so uncomfortable, as if something terrible had happened.
She felt as though maybe she had been the one to do something wrong and wondered if he was embarrassed that his friends had been so mistaken. Was she not meant to correct them? Was that rude in American culture, to correct one’s guests?
Gemma wished that she could pull her husband aside and ask him what she had done wrong, but it would have only drawn more attention to the situation.
She saw also Justine seated in the corner with another woman, both of whom were staring at the whole party, taking in what had just happened.
It was very difficult, not knowing what it was that she had done wrong, but Gemma wished that someone would begin speaking, someone would break the tension and make everything right again. Or at least that everybody would cease to stare at her.