Demons Don't Dream

by Piers Anthony

  "They are showing the way!" Jenny cried. "Follow them!" Then she scrambled into the water herself, still holding the rope. The water here was not deep; she was able to wade far enough to catch up to the group. She got inside the loop, next to the serpent, so that she too could defend herself from the creatures outside.

  It was a clumsy, messy business, but they pushed with their feet and stroked with their free hands, and nudged in the direction shown by the animals. Soon the ground under the water became firmer, and they were able to walk on it chest-deep, then waist-deep, then knee-deep. At last they stood on solid land again—and saw a path ahead. There were on their way!

  But what a motley crew they were! Dog, serpent merman, three humans, and one elf were soaked through and spattered with mud. Only the cat was pristine.

  "Let's get clean before we make our introductions," Kim suggested. The others were glad to agree.

  "Sammy, where is there a good place to—" Jenny started.

  The cat bounded off down the path. They followed, forming a ragged line. Soon they came to a larger, clearer lake, evidently one of the sections of Lake Tsoda Popka. It sparkled effervescently. But the cat was dipping a paw, daintily cleaning an imagined speck.

  Kim squatted and dipped out a handful. “This is champagne!" she exclaimed. "We're supposed to wash in this?"

  "Well, we know just how to do it" Jenny said. She fetched out an empty bottle and dipped it in the lake.

  In three quarters of a moment everyone had bottles, and they were in the midst of Xanth's most uproarious fizz fight. Lake Champagne might never be the same, but they were getting clean!

  Then Nada Naga, who had assumed human form underwater rather than miss the fight went off in one direction to find a clothing tree, and Cyrus and Sherlock went off in another to find their own tree, leaving Jenny and Kim and Dug to hold the fort, as it were. They had more or less exchanged names during the cleanup. Bubbles and Sammy settled down to snooze beside each other in the sun, seeming to get along fine.

  "So you're the other Player," Kim said boldly. "Are you enjoying it so far?"

  "I sure am," Dug agreed. "And I'm only here on a dare."

  "A dare? You didn't want to play?"

  “I don't go for computer games or silly fantasy. By my friend Ed dared me to try one. I bet him my girlfriend against his motorcycle that I wouldn't like it." He smiled sheepishly. "I lost."

  "You bet your girlfriend?" Kim asked, uncertain how to take that.

  "Yes. Pia. She's Ed's girlfriend now. I think maybe I was set up. But I couldn't even be mad, after I saw Nada,"

  "You go for that type?" Kim was being guarded, for some reason she didn't care to analyze. It might be mere coincidence that Dug was a handsome young Mundane man.

  "Who wouldn't? She's a knockout!"

  "But she's a naga princess," Jenny said. "And she doesn't go for younger men."

  "So I learned." He spread his hands. "Don't look at me mat way! She's the world's most beautiful woman, and I’m just a sixteen-year-old jerk. I'm just saying that anything I might have lost back home no longer mattered, after I saw what was here." He focused on Kim. "That handsome merman—he's not interested in you, either, I'll bet same reason."

  "He's looking for a mermaid," Kim agreed. "He's just traveling with us until he finds her."

  "Same way Sherlock's traveling with us until he finds a place for his people to settle." He paused. "Look, Kim, I guess we're supposed to be in competition, but I want you to know I don't care about the prize. I just like being in the game."

  "Me too," she said, discovering that she was losing interest in the prize.

  "You too? I got into this on a dare, but I figured you really wanted to play."

  "I do want to play. Just to be in Xanth. I love Xanth. It's so much more interesting than Mundania."

  "Yes, it is. I don't know anything about it, but I haven't been bored since I got in, and not just because of Nada. It's some place!"

  She nodded. "So do you want to travel on together for a while, if the rules allow it?"

  "Sure. We may have nothing in common except Mundania, but that's enough of a cross for us both to bear." He glanced at Jenny. "You're her Companion? Do you know if it's okay?"

  "I don't know any reason why not" Jenny said. "I don't think there are any rules, really, except about things like not looking at a girl's panties."

  He laughed. "I learned about that the hard way! I tried to sneak a peek at Nada's, and I got blotted out of the game. I mean, my screen went blank, and I had to scramble to get back in. I'll never do that again!" He looked around. "Which reminds me: we need to get changed too. These clothes won't be worth much after this workout"

  “We can change after the others find clothing," Jenny said. "We're just keeping an eye out now, in case anything else threatens. But as long as Bubbles doesn't bark and Sammy doesn't wake, it's safe."

  "Bubbles?"

  Kim explained about the way she had found the dog. "She's really very good," she concluded. "It's a shame that someone was throwing her away. I’m sorry I can't take her with me, when I return to Mundania."

  "She can stay with me and Sammy," Jenny said quickly. "We won't let her be thrown away again. I’m sure Professor Grossclout will allow it"

  "Who?" Dug asked.

  "He's the demon in charge of the game. Compared to him, every other person's head is full of mush. But he's not too bad, if you ever manage to get to know him."

  "Demons in charge of the game! Why?"

  "Well, I think it's because of the Demon X(A/N)th. He's the source of all the magic of Xanth. He wanted the game to be played. So the demons are handling it. That's all I know."

  "What kind of a demon?"

  So they had to explain to him about that. By the time they had done so, the others had returned.

  That was a surprise. Kim eyed one party, then the other. Nada was in trousers and a male shirt; Cyrus and Sherlock were in dresses. "All we could find," the black man said, embarrassed.

  "Same here," Nada confessed.

  "But now we can go in the opposite directions and change," Cyrus said, relieved.

  This time Jenny and Kim went with Nada, while Dug went with Cyrus and Sherlock. The girls found the tree, and picked out nice dresses. "Suddenly I feel very feminine," Kim said. "I like it"

  But Nada reconsidered. "I believe I will remain in trousers," she said.

  "You get tired of getting stared at?" Kim inquired. "It isn't a problem I've had."

  "Well, you're not a princess."

  Kim nodded ruefully. "That must be it"

  They returned to the central camp. They saw the three males coming back from the other direction, all appropriately garbed. They settled down to eat, and to get to know each other better. Kim noticed that Cyrus and Nada seemed to find each other interesting. Well, both were crossbreeds, and he was almost as handsome as she was beautiful. Wouldn't it be something, if—but no, it wasn't her business to speculate.

  They organized their party and set off south. It was more interesting, Kim thought having a larger group. Also safer, perhaps, if they didn't encounter anything truly formidable. It was getting late, and they would have to find a campsite before too long.

  They came to a centaur range. Kim could tell, because the path widened and was beaten down by hooves. Soon a male centaur galloped up. He was an impressive figure of horse and man, with a large bow and a quiver of arrows. Centaurs were notorious for their marksmanship; they could score on anything they fired at. "Who are you to intrude on our range?" he demanded. He seemed to have a slight speech defect

  There was something familiar about him. Then she identified it: he was Horace, the zombie centaur. One of the prospective Companions. Since he hadn't been chosen, he was now on backup duty, as Jenny and Nada would have been had they not been chosen. So he was in costume, his zombie nature concealed. She was sure it was him, regardless.

  Kim looked at Dug. "He's male; you take it," she murmured. Because of course a
Player had to handle it; this could be another challenge.

  Dug stepped forward. "We are travelers playing a special game," he said. "We aren't looking for trouble, we're looking for a place to spend the night in peace."

  "If you come in peace, you are welcome to spend the night in our village," Horace said.

  Dug glanced at Nada, and Kim glanced at Jenny. Nada and Jenny both nodded: centaurs could be trusted. Apparently Dug had handled the challenge appropriately, by expressing their desire for peace. Kim was relieved; centaurs were bad enemies and good friends, and there would be no need to fear any dangers of the night here.

  So Horace led them to the village. This appeared to be a group of stalls, but there were human-type houses too, evidently for those who served the centaurs. Several other centaurs came out to greet them, among them two mares.

  Kim saw Dug and Sherlock blink at the sight of the bare-breasted lady centaurs. Those were the fullest breasts she had ever seen, and she suspected that the sight had far more impact on the men. But both had the wit to mask their reactions. She managed to mask her smile. Actually she would love to have an upper torso like that, to make male eyes pop.

  There were passing introductions. Then the centaurs showed them to their stalls, which turned out to be fairly nice little houses with nice beds of straw inside. The three women shared one, and the three men another. Bubbles and Sammy found comfortable places of their own in the straw and were instantly asnooze. It took a while longer for the others to eat and settle down, but in due course they too were asleep.

  So this had turned out to be no challenge, Kim thought. But she knew mat if Dug had given the wrong answer, the party could have been in desperate trouble. Was Dug a naturally diplomatic person, or had be been lucky, this time? It was important for her to know, because he was her competition. Even if she no longer cared about the prize.

  In the morning, refreshed, they resumed their journey. "Would you like a ride as far as the Gap Chasm?" Horace Centaur inquired.

  Kim exchanged another glance with Dug. A ride? Was this another challenge? Yet centaurs were trustworthy. Maybe this was just the game's way of moving them along rapidly to the next challenge. In some other variant there could be a real row with the centaurs, or a dragon waiting along the path. But in this one it was at the Gap Chasm, so the sensible thing to do was to get on down there without wasting time. It was as if the game got impatient with delay, and wanted to get on with the action.

  "Why not?" Dug said after a pause. "As long as our friends can ride too."

  "Your friends are welcome," Horace said.

  "If I may inquire," Sherlock said, "is there a place here where a new community could settle?"

  Horace was surprised. "What kind of community?"

  "A human Black Wave community.**

  Horace looked at the other centaurs. "We could use more servants," he said. "For the menial chores."

  Sherlock frowned. "We'll keep it in mind," he said, evidently intending to do no such thing. Why should his folk settle for more of the same kind of treatment they had in Mundania?

  So six centaurs carried the party rapidly southward. Kim carried Bubbles Dog with her, and Jenny carried Sammy Cat on the back of another centaur. The scenery fairly whizzed by. Kim would have preferred to go slower, because she was a bit afraid of the next challenge. Getting across the Gap Chasm was bound to be no easy matter. She knew there was an invisible bridge, but how could they find it? If they tried to go down into the chasm, the Gap Dragon would get them. Nobody crossed the Gap with impunity.

  All too soon they arrived. There was the huge chasm, with its base shrouded in fog and the sheer brink of it taunting them. There was no bridge in sight, of course.

  They dismounted and the centaurs galloped away. What next?

  Dug, heedless of the scary depth, explored the verge. He walked east. Soon the nature of the chasm changed. The land did not drop straight down, but descended in a series of half-loops, so that it was possible to go down without falling. "We can handle this!" he said enthusiastically.

  "But there is a dragon below," Nada warned him.

  "You can be a big serpent and scare it off," he said.

  "I can't scare that dragon. Not the Gap Dragon. The only safe way to handle him is to avoid him."

  “Well, we can have Sammy Cat show us a way down and across that will avoid the dragon." He was so confident that it was annoying.

  "Perhaps," Nada said guardedly.

  Kim could see that the naga princess had her hands full, trying to keep Dug out of trouble. She couldn't even change forms both ways in his presence, because of the problem of clothing. It probably wasn't much fun for her, being his Companion. But it might not be much fun for Jenny Elf, either, being Kim's Companion, because Kim was impulsive too.

  "This could be trouble," Cyrus said, glancing up.

  Kim followed his gaze. An ugly little dark cloud was scudding from the north. "Is that who I fear it is?” she asked.

  "Cumulo Fracto Nimbus," he agreed. "You encountered him before."

  "I sure did! He always rains on the party."

  There was a rumble of thunder. The others looked up. They shared glances of dismay.

  "Hey, what's the big deal?" Dug asked. "So a little cloud passes. So it rains a bit. That won't stop us."

  "That's Fracto," Nada said.

  "Fractal?"

  "Fracto, Xanth's worst cloud. We had better get under cover."

  "What's all the fuss about one tiny cloud?" he demanded. "It'll be gone soon enough."

  "If you do not care to heed my advice, perhaps you should exchange me for Kim's Companion," Nada said somewhat stiffly.

  Dug looked surprised. Then he glanced at Jenny Elf, thoughtfully. "I guess maybe there's something I'm not picking up on here," he said. "But as I see it, we can wait until an actual storm threatens."

  But the others knew better. They were already hurrying to find the makings of a tent Kim went to a pie tree she had spied, to gather a good meal to eat while they waited for me cloud's fury to expire. Jenny was going for pillows. There was no telling how long they would have to wait

  "I can't believe this," Dug said. "One stupid little cloud! You'd think it was a hurricane or something.'*

  There was another rumble. The cloud was expanding, puffing itself up voluminously. A puffy face was forming on its surface. A chill gust of wind came down.

  "What an ugly puss," Dug remarked, staring up at it.

  Sammy meowed. Dug looked around. "I didn't mean you," he said, flashing a smile. The cat relaxed.

  "We could use some help on this tent,” Sherlock called.

  Dug finally realized that this was serious. He went to help pitch the tent.

  The first fat drops of rain spattered down. Then their nature changed. "Hey, that's sleet!" Cyrus exclaimed.

  Kim held out her hand. Hard pellets bounced off it. "Sleet? That's hail!" she said.

  They got the tent finished, and piled unceremoniously into it as the hailstorm intensified. Bubbles and Sammy joined them, not wanting any part of the storm. The dog huddled close to Kim, nervous about the closeness of so many relative strangers, but not making any fuss. Kim was also highly conscious of Dug wedged on her other side.

  Now the hail had become snow, piling down in turbulent flurries. They were safe under the canvas, and they had blankets too, so they were comfortable. Kim just couldn't keep her awareness off her closeness to Dug, under a shared blanket. If only something like this could be real, as in a date!

  "That's more of a cloud than I figured," Dug said, paying her no attention. "Snow—on a warm day!"

  "Not only that," Sherlock said. "It's colored, if you'll excuse the term."

  Kim peered out. She saw pastel hues. The snow was all the colors of the rainbow! "It's pretty," she said.

  "Nothing Fracto does is pretty," Nada said darkly.

  They ate the pies while the storm continued. "I wonder why Fracto came here right now," Jenny said. "How could he
know we were here?"

  “The game!" Kim exclaimed. "He was sent by the game! It's another challenge."

  "A cloud sent to mess us up?" Dug asked. "But all we have to do is wait for it to peter out"

  Sherlock shook his head. "I don't know much about clouds or magic, but I'll bet this is going to make a difference. For one thing, this chasm's going to be twice as hard to cross, covered in snow."

  Dug nodded. "You're right. After the storm passes, that funny snow will remain. It'll slow us down."

  "Slow us down?" Kim asked. "Maybe it will speed us up!"

  The others looked at her. "We don't want to jump into that blind," Nada said. "The smaller crevices will be covered up, and the slopes will be treacherously slippery. We should wait until it melts."

  "But that could take days," Kim protested. “No, I'm thinking of skiing down on that snow. That would make a tedious trip easy."

  "Skiing!" Dug said. "I tried to ski once, and almost broke my leg. That was just a little slope. This canyon's a mile deep. Even a skilled skier could get himself killed.”

  He had a point Kim had skied, but she was no expert, and this would be no easy course. "Well, we could sled down it, maybe.”

  "Where'd we get sleds?"

  Sammy stirred. He was about to head out into the storm when Jenny caught him. "Not yet, Sammy!" she said. "Wait till it stops snowing!"

  Dug pursed his lips. "He can find sleds?"

  "Sammy can find anything," Jenny said proudly. "Except home. So there must be sleds nearby."

  "Can you be sure they are near?" Nada asked.

  "Actually, I can't," Jenny admitted. "Sometimes things are way far away. But I know he'll find the closest sled there is."

  "Okay, so we can get sleds," Dug said. "But sleds can be dangerous too, on an uncharted slope. I was ready to walk it, but I don't know about this."

  "Maybe Sammy can also find a safe route down," Kim suggested. Then we could follow on sleds."

  "I wouldn't let him go alone," Jenny said. "But maybe he could ride on a sled with me, and sort of indicate whether it was safe to go on. I mink that might work."

  Finally the storm eased. Fracto's rages were severe, but seldom endured long. But what damage they could do in a short time!