Fear bit into my soul at his words, at the thought of doing what he was suggesting, of going back to the girl I'd been when I was with him. Surely he was full of shit. Surely he didn't want me now for any reason other than to punish and destroy me - finish me the way he'd meant to the first time around. I didn't believe for one second that he'd give up this war for the sake of getting me back. But maybe he would give up JJ.
"Don't even fucking think about it," Fox snarled, keeping me in place beneath him as my heart pattered with terror over what I was considering.
"It's JJ," I breathed, because he had to understand that. This wasn’t about me. It was about my boy. The man I'd hated then lusted for and had never stopped loving throughout it all.
"And you're you," Fox growled, his features pinching with distress.
"Don't you even consider it, pretty girl!" JJ yelled from outside and the sound of a gun firing made me scream in utter fear.
Fox and I scrambled back towards the window and a sob of relief escaped me as I peeked out and found Shawn with his gun aimed towards the sky while JJ still stood tall and bloody before him.
"How about I give you a countdown, sugarpie? And if your sweet ass isn't out here by the time I reach zero, I'll blow this one's brains out and we can all get back to trying to kill each other as planned."
"Shawn, don't!" I yelled, my voice cracking with panic but he just smirked cruelly as he began his countdown.
"Ten...nine..."
I’ d gotten separated from JJ the moment we reached the woods at the edge of the clubhouse when a bunch of Dead Dogs ambushed us. JJ had fought like a goddamn hero to try and make it back inside to reach Rogue and Fox, but the problem with heroes was that they always did stupid shit. That was why I preferred the villain lifestyle. So I’d hung back, gutted as many men as I could and now look? JJ had been caught and I was as free as a bird.
I crept through the trees as Shawn paused his countdown to continue boasting about his win and I rolled my eyes at the motherfucker. His monologues were his damn downfall, but I for one was happy to be the one to shut him up.
“-and that was the first time I gutted a man with a steak knife,” Shawn said theatrically. “Such a rich red colour his blood was, I swear it’s never shone so bright in any other corpse I’ve seen since, but maybe this boy’s blood will be as pretty as his face, huh? Now where was I? Oh yeah, six…five…four – Oh Fox, did I ever tell you about the time I bent Rogue over a table and fucked her sweet pussy in front of a mirror? She touched herself the whole time, just looking at me railing that tight hole o’ hers.”
“Shut your fucking mouth!” Fox bellowed from the clubhouse as my skin itched over Shawn’s words.
Keep talking, dead man.
One of Shawn’s men was just ahead of me in the woods and I moved up silently behind him, my knife in my grip. I lunged forward, slamming my hand down over his mouth and driving my blade up hard between his ribs, stifling his scream as he died. I was making a mental tally of my victims that I’d be sure to ink onto my body later tonight. If I survived that long.
I lowered him into the shadows and stepped over his body, moving closer to my target as I wiped my knife off on my jeans, placing it back in its holster before taking out my gun.
“Speaking of holes, I’d best get on with putting one in your boy Johnny James, unless you wanna come out here, sugarpie?” Shawn called.
“Let him go, you can have me instead,” Fox offered and Luther instantly shouted out in refusal of that.
“No!” Rogue screamed, terror coating her voice.
“I don’t want you, Fox, I want your girl,” Shawn chuckled. “And you’re down to three seconds now to send my little whore out here. Three – two-”
I raised my gun, lining Shawn up in my sights and aiming for his back. I was tempted for the kill shot, but I’d promised that to my little unicorn. I’d make sure he was maimed good though.
“One and three quarters – one and a half-”
“JJ!” Rogue screamed. “I’m coming, I’m-” Her voice cut off and I had the feeling Fox was responsible.
“One and a quarter,” Shawn went on.
Shut your goddamn mouth.
Shawn aimed his gun at JJ, ready to take another one of my brothers from the world, and yeah I was pissed about Chase. Because that death should have been mine. Fuck if it meant more to me than that. And fuck if it still hurt me every goddamn day.
My upper lip peeled back as hatred and rage ebbed under my skin and I pulled the trigger.
The bang split the air and Shawn was thrown to the ground from the blast, knocking JJ down with him. A cacophony of noise rang out as Fox and his men started firing and Shawn’s gang returned it, war descending in an instant.
JJ crawled away, scrambling to his feet and I ran towards him, firing at an asshole Dead Dog coming up behind him and dropping him to the ground like a fly. I pulled JJ backwards towards the trees for cover, shoving him into the woods before turning back to get hold of Shawn.
The motherfucker was already on his feet and through his torn shirt, I saw a fucking Kevlar vest covering his body.
“No,” I spat as he sprinted away into the throng of his men and called a retreat as the Harlequins spilled out of the clubhouse.
The Dead Dogs tore away into the woodland and I lost sight of Shawn, a snarl ripping from my throat as I stepped forward to go after him. JJ caught my arm, dragging me back into the trees and I cursed as I tried to shove him away.
“Get off of me,” I snapped, but he didn’t let go, digging his heels in.
“He’s gone,” he insisted. “And if you run into that war, you’ll end up dead. The Harlequins will shoot you if The Dead Dogs don’t.”
I’d taken my ski mask off and tossed it somewhere and I cursed myself out for it as the bloodlust pumped through my chest. In that instant, I didn’t give a fuck if I put myself at risk, I just wanted Shawn bloody and on his knees for Rogue. I didn’t give a damn what it cost me. He’d hurt her, he’d killed Chase, he’d-
“Maverick,” JJ barked, shoving me against a tree so hard that my skull impacted with the bark. “You need to get out of here.”
Gunfire filled the night and the Harlequins were swarming the whole area. I shoved his hands off of me, determined to finish what I’d come here for, but JJ got in my way, his chest slamming against mine.
“If you die, you’ll break her heart. She can’t take it, not after losing Chase,” JJ hissed, grabbing my face in his hand to make me look at him and I saw the grief in his eyes, hating how it mirrored some jagged piece of my soul.
I shoved him back with a growl, but was forced to acknowledge the desperation in his gaze and I frowned as I wondered if JJ actually gave a shit about me. Did he really give a damn if I died today?
“JJ!” Rogue ran into the trees, colliding with him and knocking him back a step from me as she held onto him.
He hugged her tight, kissing her head as she clutched him like the sky would fall if he left this world then she turned to me, fisting her hand in my shirt and tugging me closer. Her lips met mine and I knotted my fingers in her hair, crushing my mouth harder to hers as she continued to hold onto us both and keep us close. Despite failing her tonight, she tasted like victory, like I was stepping onto my homeland for the first time after years in battle.
“Thank you,” she said breathlessly. “You saved him.”
“It wasn’t a rescue mission, beautiful,” I said dismissively. “I was just trying to cut down Shawn.”
I ignored JJ’s probing look and stole another kiss from Rogue, tugging her fully away from him and gripping her ass as I pressed my tongue into her mouth. God it had been too fucking long since I’d tasted her.
“JJ?!” Fox called anxiously, heading this way and Rogue tried to wriggle free of my arms, but I didn’t let her go, kissing her more fiercely, possessively, showing her who she belonged to. And it certainly wasn’t the asshole running toward us.
“What the- get the fuc
k away from her!” Fox barked and I finally let Rogue break the kiss but kept her tight against my body.
I found myself staring down the barrel of Foxy boy’s gun and arched a brow at him in boredom.
“Fox, calm down,” Rogue gasped, raising her hand to try and knock the gun away, but he didn’t move it.
“Yeah, calm down, Foxy,” I taunted as his upper lip peeled back and his right eye practically twitched with fury. “She’s right where she wants to be, aren’t you baby girl?”
“Stop being an asshole,” she demanded. But that sure as fuck wasn’t a denial.
JJ looked between us with concern lining his brow and Fox stepped closer, his finger tightening around the trigger of his gun as he pressed it to my forehead.
“Let. Her. Go,” he commanded in his bossiest voice and I yawned provocatively.
“Rick,” Rogue hissed, still trying to get free of my arms. “I don’t think he’s fucking around.”
“I’m not,” Fox warned. “You’ve got five seconds to get your hands off of her.”
“Are you really gonna kill me, Foxy?” I asked curiously. “Are you sure you can watch me die?”
“I can watch with my eyes wide open,” he said in a deathly calm voice. “You’re down to three seconds.”
“This is a long five seconds,” I pointed out. “Five, four, three, two, one. See? I should be dead by now. You’re as bad as fucking Shawn.”
“Let her go!” he snarled and JJ took hold of Fox’s arm, trying to tug the gun down.
“Fox,” JJ growled, trying to make him look at him. “Stop.”
“Aww, even your bestie thinks you’re an asshole. Must be a sad life you lead these days, Foxy,” I taunted.
“Fox, put the gun down,” Rogue ordered, still trying to escape the cage of my arms, but I knew as soon as I let go she was gonna be taken from me again and I didn’t know when I’d see her next. Sure, the other option was having my brains blown out, but I was one helluva stubborn asshole, so I might just take that option over being cowed down by Fox Harlequin.
“Put the gun down, son,” Luther’s booming voice reached me and I gave my ex adopted father a dry look as he appeared.
“Well isn’t this the fun family reunion?” I deadpanned.
“Fox, that was an order,” Luther said sharply and Fox growled in frustration before lowering the gun.
JJ’s shoulders relaxed and he reached for Rogue’s hand. “Come on, pretty girl.”
I pulled her tighter against me, dragging her backwards through the trees and wondering if I could make it to my motorcycle with her over my shoulder and these three assholes chasing me.
“Rick, stop it,” she said, pushing at my arms.
“Nah, I’m good, beautiful. I think I’m in the mood to kidnap you and take you back to my lair.” I dropped my mouth to her ear, tugging it between my teeth and Fox looked like he was about to blow a blood vessel as I stared him dead in the eye. Which was all the more reason to keep doing it.
“Rick, that’s enough. Let her go. She needs to go home, it’s not safe out here,” Luther said firmly.
“I think I know how to keep her safe, thanks Dad,” I mocked.
“How about you let her make her own decision?” JJ pushed.
“Nope,” I said.
“Rick,” she snapped. “Stop being a prick and let me go.”
I sighed in frustration as she shoved my arms again and I finally released her. She took a step away and I felt the distance between us growing like an uncrossable sea.
“Come home, Rogue, we need to make plans against Shawn,” Luther urged and I glared at the motherfucker, reaching for the gun at my hip. Maybe I’d just shoot them all to shit now and get rid of all my problems at once.
She took another step towards them and I lunged for Rogue, planning to take her after all, but she was already moving away to join them and the second she got close enough, Fox closed an arm around her shoulders, sneering at me in a clear warning.
“I need to go, Rick,” she said to me with a frown. “I’ll see you soon.”
“Not if I have anything to do with it,” Fox said through his teeth.
“Well she’s not your property, Foxy, she can do what she likes,” I said, a threat in my tone.
“Stop alpha dogging.” Rogue tried to escape Fox’s hold, but it was clearly as tight as mine had been and JJ moved to flank her other side, turning and taking her away as Luther remained there in the shadows. She glanced back at me in goodbye and what remained of my heart went with her, frustration flashing through me.
“There’s a bed for you at that house too,” my crazy ass adopted father offered.
“Thanks, but I think I’d rather enjoy some equally fun activity tonight, like skinning myself alive.” I turned my back on him, stalking off into the trees as I headed for my motorbike with my mood descending into a black pit.
By the time I arrived at the dock, I was tempted to tie myself to the saddle of my bike and drive myself right off the end of it. Instead, I boarded the boat I’d used to get here and started heading across the water towards Dead Man’s Isle, my soul a little more blackened and alone than usual.
Mia was at the compound today and she’d be asking about how my treatment was going. Because yeah, I now had to pretend I had dick rot so I didn’t have to stick it in her – an idea I’d gotten from Rogue after she’d told me JJ had been using the excuse to avoid his escorts.
My special sauce to that idea was not telling Mia specifically what I had because I was ‘too embarrassed’ to talk about it. Whatever it was apparently lasted weeks and was highly contagious though, so it was doing the damn trick. But her patience was wearing thinner and thinner and she was starting to question my bullshit lies a little more than I was comfortable with. I had to somehow keep her sweet a while longer though because Kaiser Rosewood’s next poker night was approaching and I was pretty sure he was gonna extend the invite to me this time. So long as Mia didn’t dump my ass before then, I might finally get a chance to head onto the Rosewood estate and check out the crypt where all of our downfalls lay.
And after that alpha cunt display tonight from Fox, I was hungrier than ever to get on with my plan to destroy him. When it was done, I’d ride off into the sunset with Rogue and enjoy our honeymoon period until she used up all the good left in me and I drowned in the sea of bad waiting to reclaim me. Then my revolver would offer me peace at last and my short, torturous life on earth would finally be done.
I sat across the table from Fox as he aggressively ate cereal at me and I yawned around my slice of toast.
"Spit it out, Badge, or you're gonna give yourself constipation."
Fox's eyes narrowed and he tossed his bowl down onto the table, dropping the spoon into it with a clatter which I was guessing was designed to make me flinch.
"I've had meaner assholes than you try to intimidate me, Fox. So if you get your kicks out of scaring people then you'll have to work harder with me," I commented, taking a bite of my toast.
It was early. Too goddamn early. But I'd been woken by the feeling of a pissy animal hanging around in my space and had found Fox sitting in a chair at the foot of my bed watching me sleep like a psycho. And I knew it wasn't the first time. So I'd yelled at him and called him crazy and he'd stormed out of the room again, slamming the door so fucking hard the walls had rattled.
I'd had a shower, gotten dressed into one of Chase's shirts and a pair of shorts and now I was sitting here at the asshole of dawn having a face off with a gang leader. I was getting too goddamn old for this shit.
"Well excuse me if I can't figure out what the fuck it is you like," Fox snapped. "Because if I'm judging by your psycho ex-boyfriend who tried to murder us all last night and the motherfucker who had his tongue in your mouth when I found you and JJ in the woods, I can only assume asshole behaviour turns you on."
A million snarky responses sprung to my lips and I was about to start hurling them in his face but something about the look in his ey
es made me pause.
"I like you, Fox," I sighed. "But you just don't like me."
"Bullshit. I like everything about you," he replied instantly.
"So you like thinking about what me and Rick got up to on Dead Man's Isle?" I shot back.
"That's not the same as not liking you," he ground out.
"Fine. Forget about my sex life then. Do you like thinking about me and Shawn spending so much time together when I was with him? Do you like imagining the way I was with him? How he found me broken and bleeding inside and that was what drew him to me? Do you ever think about why I was with him for so long? Or about how shitty my life must have been for me to have preferred being his toy over the alternative of a life out there on the forgotten streets? Or do you just get so angry when you think about me fucking him that it doesn't even occur to you to wonder about any of the rest of my life outside of who I gave access to my pussy?"
"How am I supposed to think about any of that when you won't tell me about it?" Fox asked.
"Fine. Ask."
Fox's eyes flashed with some emotion I couldn't place and he leaned forward, resting his forearms on the table which divided us.
"Did he hit you?" he asked me.
"No. Not before the night he tried to kill me," I replied. "I told you before that I had rules. I wouldn't stand for cheating or hitting. If a guy wanted me exclusively, he'd do me the same favour and I refused to be anyone's punching bag."
"So that's it as far as your standards went? Who cares if they were assholes so long as they didn't smack you or let their dick wander?"
"Pot, kettle, Fox. If you want me to take objection to dating assholes, then I don't see the two of us having much chance at getting together."
The corner of Fox's lips lifted into the ghost of a smile and I sighed, finishing the last bite of my toast and climbing up onto the table. I shifted across it and pushed his empty bowl aside so that I could sit in front of him and rest my feet in his lap.
Carnival Hill (The Harlequin Crew Book 3) Page 8