by Sera Trevor
Settle Down
Sera Trevor
Contents
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Epilogue
Coming Soon
About the Author
Copyright 2020 Sera Trevor
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. Reproduction in whole or part of this publication without express written consent is strictly prohibited.
Special thanks, as always, to Gillian and Kevin
Prologue
Healing hurts.
Five years into his nursing career, the irony still bothered Noah. He became a nurse to make people better. Misery drowned the world. He couldn’t live with himself if he did nothing to help. Easing a patient’s discomfort buoyed him, but the wave of pain never stopped, especially in his department—oncology. He was bailing water on a sinking ship. Sometimes, the ship sank anyway. But he had to try.
“Sorry.” Noah prepared Mrs. Hernandez’s IV. “This will be over in a minute.”
Mrs. Hernandez adjusted her floral headscarf. “Why do you always say sorry?”
Noah blinked. “I’m sorry?”
Mrs. Hernandez waved a hand. “There you go again! You’re saving my life. Why would you ask forgiveness for that?”
Noah laughed a little. “Well, I am poking you with a needle. It’s not pleasant.”
She snorted. “You know what isn’t pleasant? Cancer, that’s what. I will gladly be poked with a thousand needles to get rid of it.”
“Point taken,” Noah conceded. “Shall we get this over with?”
He slid the needle into Mrs. Hernandez’s hand and secured the line. She settled back in her chair. “You know what I think when I see you? ‘Oh, thank goodness my friend Noah is the one who will be helping me.’ Because you are always so gentle, and you have that nice smile. So no more sorries from you.”
Noah saluted. “Yes, ma’am.”
She grunted. “Good. Now, say something new to me in Spanish.”
Noah double-checked the IV. “Yo como la manzana.”
“Why are you telling me you eat an apple?”
“I don’t know. Duolingo seems to think it will be useful.”
She shook her head. “You young people and your apps. You should come to dinner and talk with my family. That’s the way to learn.”
“My in-laws speak Spanish, actually,” Noah said. “I don’t want to bombard them with my terrible Spanish just yet, though.”
“And how are you supposed to learn?” she barked. “Children speak terribly for years, and no one thinks badly of them.” She shut her eyes. “Your wife doesn’t speak Spanish? Such a disappointment when children forget their heritage.”
Noah hesitated. “Husband, actually. And no, he doesn’t.”
He held his breath. He liked Mrs. Hernandez, but she disapproved of a lot of things. It would not surprise him if gay marriage was one of them.
She opened one eye to look at him and shut it again. “Your husband should learn, too. Make his parents proud.”
Noah released his breath in a puff. “There’s no making my husband do anything. You remind me of him.”
She laughed, her belly jiggling. “Don’t let him walk all over you. We stubborn types need pushback every now and then.”
“Oh, don’t worry. I can hold my own. Besides, he has a sweet spot for me.”
“Who wouldn’t?”
Noah was about to respond when Linda, a fellow nurse, rushed into the room. “What’s wrong?”
She held up a finger as she caught her breath. “Your husband’s checking into L&D.”
The world went wobbly. “What? Already?”
Linda grinned. “You heard me. Your hubby just checked in.”
Mrs. Hernandez’s brow furrowed. “...your husband is in labor?”
“No, our surrogate.” Crystal had started labor right before Noah started his shift. She’d assured him there would be plenty of time before the birth happened. “Is everything okay?”
“Far as I can tell,” Linda said. “Go find out for yourself. You’re clear to leave. I’ll take over here.”
When Noah remained frozen in place, Mrs. Hernandez shooed him. “You heard her. Go have your baby!”
“Thanks.” Noah’s head swam. It was really happening. He was about to be a dad.
Other nurses cheered him as he made his way to Labor and Delivery. He found Oscar and Crystal in the waiting room. Oscar was at the reception desk, talking to the nurse there. Crystal was leaning on one arm on a chair, her other hand cradling her enormous belly. Her long, straight hair was damp with sweat, and her freckled face was flushed. She half-smiled, half-grimaced when she saw him.
Noah’s breathing sped up. “How are you?”
“Ready to make you a dad.” She winced as a contraction overtook her. “Looks like it’s happening sooner rather than later. My water broke already. They told me I should come in, so I called Oscar to come get me.”
Oscar stomped over to them, fists clenched. “What the fuck is taking so long? They told her she had to come in. She needs a room now! Don’t they know she’s having a goddamn baby? Are they going to make her have the baby right here on the fucking floor?”
Noah put a hand on his husband’s face and turned his head until their eyes met. “I promise she will be seen to a room. Please don’t be a dick to my colleagues. Also, hello.”
Some of the tension in Oscar’s shoulders eased. He grinned sheepishly. “Hello.” He kissed him. “Ready to be a dad?”
“Maybe?”
Crystal snorted. “You better be ready, because this baby is coming.”
Oscar broke away from Noah. “Holy shit! Like, now?” He raised his voice. “Where the fuck is our room?”
An L&D nurse appeared in the doorway with a wheelchair. Noah recognized her, although he couldn’t remember her name—he didn’t have a lot of interaction with the maternity ward. She was young but had an air about her that put Noah at ease. “Ms. Foster, we’re ready for you.”
Oscar threw up his hands. “It’s about goddamn time!”
Oscar and Noah waited outside as Crystal got settled. Oscar pulled out his phone. “Damn it, reception sucks in here. I told Jeremy I’d call him once she got admitted.”
“Reception is better near the cafeteria.”
“Right. I’ll be back.” He wandered off, grumbling.
The nurse appeared again. Her name tag said Tonya. “You can go in now. I’ve got her settled. The doctor will be here in a minute.”
“Sorry about Oscar,” Noah said. “He’s a little worked up.”
Tonya just smiled. “I’ve seen worse.” She gestured to his name tag. “You work here?”
“Yeah, over in oncology. I’m Noah.”
“Tonya. Nice to meet you. How you doing?”
“Good.” Noah rubbed his neck. “Well, okay. Actually, terrified.”
“You’ll all do fine, I’m sure.” She squeezed his arm. “Congratulations!”
Noah entered the room. Crystal was in bed, dressed in a hospital gown and connected to a beeping monitor beside her. Sweat beaded on her brow and she was clearly uncomfortable, but she looked a hell of a lot calmer than Noah felt.
Crystal was more than a surrogate. She was married to Oscar’s best friend,
and one of the most generous people Noah knew. When he and Oscar decided to have a child, she offered to be their surrogate before they even asked. Oscar’s sister, Nikki, had donated the egg, making Noah the biological father. Every person involved in the pregnancy would be a part of their baby’s life forever. They were incredibly lucky.
Crystal gave him a little wave. “Hey. You okay?”
Noah shook himself out of his thoughts. “I should be asking you that.”
“My last pregnancy was twins. Trust me, I’m—” She inhaled sharply, her whole body tense. “—’m fine,” she finished, panting. “Will be more fine when they get my epidural.”
“Anything I can do?”
“Distract me. You guys get the crib assembled?”
“Yes, Bette’s room’s all ready.” Bette. His daughter. They’d finally settled on a name a month ago and had said it countless times since, but saying it now felt like an evocation.
Crystal tensed up and let out a moan that ended in a scream. She gasped when the contraction was over, her hands shaking. She dabbed her forehead with a tissue. “This is going quicker than the twins. A lot quicker. Where’s the doctor?”
A good question, answered moments later when an unfamiliar doctor entered the room. He was bald and middle-aged. The doctor held out his hand to Crystal. “I’m Dr. Morrow, and I’ll be delivering your baby.”
“Where’s Dr. Renshaw?” Crystal asked.
“Out sick,” he said. He turned to Noah. “Are you the father?”
Noah rubbed his neck. “Yes—well, one of them.” He wished Dr. Renshaw was here—she already knew their situation.
“I’m a surrogate,” Crystal clarified. “Happy to give my best friends a daughter.” Her smile turned to a grimace as another contraction gripped her. “Any chance we can get started on that epidural?”
Dr. Morrow chuckled. “Soon. First let’s take a look—”
Before he could finish the sentence, Crystal tensed and moaned again. When it was over, the monitor beeped irregularly. The doctor frowned.
Unease slid over Noah. “What is it?”
“Might be nothing,” he said, then to Crystal, “When did your labor start, and how far apart are your contractions?”
“Three hours ago, and five or six minutes.”
“That is fast.” He pulled up a stool. “Let’s see how dilated you are.”
As he examined her, another contraction overtook her, leaving her panting. The monitor beeped again, more alarmingly this time. Dr. Morrow straightened and turned to Tonya. “We need to prep her for the OR.”
Air left Noah’s chest, his heart and stomach plunging. He reached for the wall, trying to stay on his feet. The operating room?
“What’s wrong?” Crystal’s voice trembled.
“The umbilical cord is prolapsing, causing a dip in the baby’s heartbeat.” Morrow spoke calmly but urgently. “With your permission, I’d like to perform a C-section. There could be serious complications if she isn’t born soon.”
Crystal swallowed and nodded. “Whatever we need to do.”
The doctor exited while Tonya and two other nurses burst into the room. They put an oxygen mask on Crystal’s tear-streaked face and started an IV. She looked scared. Noah’s own heart was nearly beating out of his chest with panic—it must be ten times worse for her.
Crystal’s gaze darted to Noah, then to Tonya. “Can he come with me?”
“Of course,” Tonya said.
The nurses rolled Crystal down the hallway, rushing past Oscar, whose eyes widened in alarm. He jogged over to Noah. “What the fuck is going on?”
“The umbilical cord is prolapsing.” Noah was amazed that his voice didn’t shake. “She has to have a C-section.”
Oscar ran a hand through his hair. “Shit! Are they going to be okay?”
“Crystal and your baby will be fine,” Tonya said. “We have deliveries like this all the time. But if Noah is going to be there, we need to get him ready now.”
Noah met Oscar’s gaze. “She asked me to be there. Only one of us can be with her. Is that okay?”
“Of course it’s okay!” Oscar said. “I’ve got the rest of my life to see that baby. I can wait another few minutes. Besides, you’re the nurse. You can handle it better than me.”
Noah drew him into a hug. “I’ll take a picture.”
The next few minutes went by in a blur. Noah was put in a paper gown, his hair covered, a mask on his face. Tonya led him into the OR, where Crystal was laid out on the table, a screen shielding the lower half of her body. Dr. Johnson and several nurses surrounded her. The anesthesiologist was by her side, murmuring something in her ear. She seemed calm. Or at least, she was still.
Noah’s stomach churned. Oscar was technically right—as a nurse, he was accustomed to keeping his head in the presence of all sorts of bloody scenes. But this was different. All of his years of training and experience seemed to vanish as he became a helpless bystander, just like any other father in his shoes would be.
Dr. Morrow gave him a thumbs up. “Here we go!”
They set to work. Noah just stared dumbly, keeping his eyes on Crystal’s face and not the surgery. Tonya appeared by his side.
“Get your camera ready,” she said.
Camera? Of course—he’d promised Oscar a picture. He fumbled with his phone.
“Here she comes!” Dr. Morrow said. The baby emerged, as if hatching from some strange, alien egg. Noah managed to snap a few pictures, but his mind was racing. Was she okay? Why wasn’t she crying? She looked blue—
—a wail rang out through the OR. Bette had arrived.
Noah melted. He loved Oscar. He loved his sister and his uncle. But never in his life had he felt a love like this. It swelled through him, pulsing with every beat of his heart. His daughter. His daughter was here.
Bette had a thick head of black hair and an impressive set of lungs. Her tiny fingers curled while she screamed her hellos to the world. Every part of her was so small, so fragile. A protective urge filled him. He would keep her safe, always.
Dr. Morrow clamped the cord, and Tonya gathered her up immediately after and took her to the back of the room to examine her and weigh her. She called out a weight, which Noah heard and immediately forgot. Guiltily, he looked to Crystal—for a moment he’d forgotten her. But she was fine, too. She smiled.
She craned her head to look at Noah. “Is she beautiful?” Her pupils were pinpoints.
Somehow, Noah found his voice. “The most beautiful.”
She hummed in approval. “You’re welcome.”
Noah laughed, and she laughed too.
Tonya brought Bette for them to see, wrapped tightly in a pink blanket and wearing a matching hat, like a rosebud waiting to bloom.
“She’s as healthy as can be,” Tonya said with a big smile. “What’s her name?”
“Bette,” Noah said, dazed. “Spelled like Davis, not Boop.”
“Bette,” Tonya repeated. “I like it. It’s old lady chic.”
“Congratulations,” Dr. Morrow said. “Now, let’s get Mom taken care of.”
“Not Mom,” Crystal said, her voice slurred. “Auntie. Have three kids already—last ones were twins.” She shook her head. “No more kids.”
Noah kissed Crystal’s forehead. “Thank you.” The words were so inadequate for what she had given them. “We love you so much.” He kissed her one more time before they wheeled her away.
“Hey, Dad, can I borrow that baby for a minute?” Tonya said. “She needs a trip to the nursery.”
Reluctantly, Noah handed Bette back and followed them down the hallway. Oscar waited in front of the nursery, pacing furiously. He stopped when he caught sight of them. “Is that—is that her?” he asked, his voice thick with wonder.
Noah nodded.
Oscar grabbed him into a fierce embrace, squeezing so hard Noah thought he might pop. He pulled back, still holding onto Noah’s shoulders. “And she’s okay? Crystal too?”
“Everyo
ne’s healthy. They took her to recovery.”
Oscar wilted like a puppet with its strings cut. Noah caught him, laughing. Now that the danger had passed, a giddiness had enveloped him. He kissed his husband. “Stay on your feet, Papa! Come see your daughter.”
They held hands as they watched Tonya care for their baby. A half hour drifted past, until Tonya emerged with Bette, swaddled again. “All done,” Tonya said. “Who wants her first?”
Noah pointed to Oscar. “I’ve already had a turn.”
Oscar’s eyes widened in panic. “What if I drop her?”
“Then I’ll catch her.” Noah laughed. “Go on.”
Oscar wiped his palms on his pants and allowed Tonya to place her in his arms. Despite his protestations, he held her with infinite care, just as Noah knew he would. Oscar played a tough guy, but underneath the act was the sweetest guy Noah knew. It was why he loved him.
Oscar gazed at Bette, his face glowing. “Fuck,” he whispered. He shook his head. “I can’t believe my first word to my baby was ‘fuck.’“
Noah laughed again. “She probably won’t remember.”
Oscar gazed down at her. “I love her,” he said. “Holy fudge, I love her.”
Noah put his arm around Oscar’s shoulder, resting their foreheads together as they took in their newborn daughter. “Hi there,” Noah said. “We’re your dads.”
Bette gurgled. Her face looked strangely wise. Noah kissed Oscar’s temple, basking in the glow.
He’d been a teen when he finally stopped his battle with himself and admitted he was gay. He’d mourned his would-be children then, knowing fatherhood was impossible for someone as unnatural as him. And yet, here he was. What would his parents say?
He banished the thought. He wouldn’t let even the memory of his parents near his daughter. This was his family, his real family. That old life was dead, and had been for years. He wouldn’t let its ghost ruin this moment.