by Liz Fielding
‘It’s very fine.’
Eve stood in the kitchen, putting the daisies, one by one, into a yellow jug, listening to the running commentary as Hannah gave Kit the grand tour.
‘This is the living room. Mama says the carpet is...’ She paused, trying to remember the word she’d used.
‘Brown?’ Kit suggested, helpfully. ‘What colour do you think would look good in here?’
‘Green. Like grass. With daisies.’
‘Interesting. I like it.’
Eve swallowed down the lump in her throat. He was so good with her...
‘This is the study. It’s a nightmare.’ Full stress on the word nightmare. ‘There’s stuff in here that should have been put on a bonfire years ago.’
Kit caught her eye as Hannah led him back across the hall. ‘She’s very...fluent.’
‘I should have warned you. She was talking in sentences at eighteen months. Be careful what you say because it will come back to haunt you.’
‘I’m getting that,’ he said, clearly captivated.
He had yet to experience the kind of embarrassment bomb a small girl could drop when you least expected it, but she was glad that their first encounter was such a delight for both of them. And just a little bit terrified that he was going to steal her little girl’s heart...
‘Daddy!’
Eve pulled her lips back. Torn between laughter and tears. ‘Pay attention, Daddy.’
Kit’s poker face was history. He had the same, sandbagged look of raw love that she’d been wearing in the photographs her friends had taken when the newborn Hannah had been placed in her arms.
‘The cloakroom is here,’ Hannah said, ‘but you don’t want to see that.’
‘I don’t?’
‘Mama is fixing it up, but she doesn’t know what the heck she’s doing. It’s a mess.’
There you go, kiddo. Talk like that and your Merchant grandma is going to think I’m the world’s worst mother. But she was laughing even as she wiped away a tear with the heel of her hand.
Hannah’s voice, clear and carrying, continued to reach her as they went upstairs. ‘This is Nana’s bedroom. She died.’
‘I’m sorry to hear that.’
‘Did you know her?’
‘I met her once,’ he said. ‘A long time ago when I was not much older than you.’
‘Was she nice?’
‘She gave me a cake. With icing.’
‘She gave me her cottage,’ Hannah said.
‘Well, that’s nice, too, but you can’t eat a cottage.’
There was a moment of silence and Eve knew that Hannah would be frowning as she thought that through. Which was better, a cake or a cottage? A tricky decision when you were three years old. There would be questions later.
‘I don’t like it in here.’
‘It’s a bit gloomy,’ he agreed.
‘It’s okay, Mama doesn’t sleep in there.’
‘Right.’ He sounded bemused, but Eve was afraid she knew what was coming next and she didn’t have to wait long.
‘Cara and Jason and Lacey’s mommy and daddy sleep in the same room, so you can share Mama’s room.’
‘It’s very pretty.’
‘The bathroom is an icky green but the other bathroom needs a plum.’
Eve covered her face with her hands. She really was going to have to start thinking before she opened her mouth. And never ever pass comment on other people’s colour schemes.
‘It’s a bit early for plums. What colour is your bedroom, Hannah?’
‘It’s white, which is boring. Cara’s daddy painted her bedroom pink. With a white trim.’
Eve didn’t have to be in the room to know that she would be looking up at Kit with the sweetest smile. That child could work a room like an award-winning actress...
‘Pink is lovely, but I think your pretty red hair needs a cool colour. Blue, maybe, to match your eyes. With a white trim,’ he added when he didn’t get immediate joy.
‘Can I have a unicorn?’
‘A real one?’ he asked. ‘Will there be room?’
Hannah giggled. ‘Don’t be silly. On the wall.’
‘I think that could be arranged. And maybe a rainbow?’
Eve heard another delighted giggle.
‘There is a room up some more stairs, but I’m not allowed to go up there.’
‘Maybe your mama will show me later. Shall we go back down now? I need to order lunch and a little bird told me that you like pizza.’
‘What little bird?’
‘His name is Charlie. He lives on the beach.’
No...!
Kit had carried her downstairs and Hannah had her arms around his neck, looking straight into his eyes as she said, ‘Can we go to the beach and look at your boat?’
‘Lunch, then a nap, young lady,’ Eve said, before he could answer.
Kit sat down, with her on his knee, and took out his phone, flipping through the menu, letting her look and guiding her choice.
‘What shall we do until the pizzas arrive?’ he asked.
‘Can I play a game on your phone?’
‘No, Hannah.’
Kit looked up, clearly about to say that she could do what the heck she liked with his phone, but thought better of it when he saw her Don’t you dare contradict me face.
‘Why don’t you draw Daddy a picture?’ she suggested.
‘Of his boat?’ She looked up at him and he obediently flipped through his phone until he found a picture of a small sailing dinghy.
Hannah drew the boat, then a family—mama, daddy and a little girl with red hair all holding hands—with a house in the background and a very large sandcastle.
She could see that Kit was desperate to take it, keep it, but Hannah thought that, like her cousins’ daddy, Kit would come home every day so was fixing it to the fridge with a magnet.
Hannah chattered happily through the pizza, telling Kit about everything she’d been doing for the last week until, having talked herself to a standstill, went down for a nap without protest.
When she was asleep they stood, awkwardly, in the kitchen.
‘You were great with her,’ Eve said.
‘I don’t know which feeling is strongest right now,’ Kit said. ‘Gratitude that I have such a beautiful child, or anger that I’ve missed so much.’
Which pretty much mirrored her own feelings. Gratitude that he had been so wonderful with Hannah, that he had adored her on sight. Anger that he didn’t understand how his little girl would feel when he disappeared back to his real life.
‘You would have been away six months of the year,’ she reminded him, briskly. ‘The sea is your first love and you can’t wait to get back to it.’
‘You think that excuses what you did?’
‘No, but I think you should take a reality check. It’s not all pizza and unicorns.’
‘I know that.’
‘Do you? Your life does not, will never, resemble the picture Hannah drew.’
‘I’m not going anywhere,’ he declared and she was sure that, as he said it, he believed it. ‘How long will she sleep?’
‘For about an hour.’
‘In that case I have time to go and pick up some paint.’
‘Paint?’
‘Hannah thinks white is boring.’
‘I heard, but you don’t have to paint her room. I’ll get around to it.’
‘You have your hands full with the cloakroom.’ He paused at the door. ‘Thank you for last night. The video.’
‘You’re welcome. Forget about marriage and you can have all the highlights without the boring or messy bits. Never be the parent saying no.’
‘I’ve got a better idea. You give me a list of the stuff you don’t think she should be allowed so that
we can discuss it. Just remember that I have a say in that.’
‘No phone, no tablet, no computer games.’
‘I saw your face when she asked about my boat.’
She desperately wanted to say no boats but this was Nantucket and Hannah’s father was a world-famous sailor.
‘I’m sorry. This is hard...’
He came back, put his arms around her and drew her to him. ‘I’ll follow your lead, Eve, but you’re not on your own any more. From here on in it’s the two of us.’ He leaned back, looked down at her. ‘I should have asked if you’re happy with blue for her bedroom?’
She nodded, swallowed. ‘Whatever makes Hannah happy.’ She walked with him to the door, watched him drive away, then went back to the kitchen, took the picture down from the fridge and scanned it, putting the copy she’d printed out back on the fridge door. Then she opened up her laptop.
She had dozens of video clips of Hannah, from the moment of her birth until the one of her sleeping that she’d sent to Kit last night.
She couldn’t give him back the time he’d lost, but she could give him a glimpse of some of those precious moments. And maybe one or two meltdown moments to remind him that it wasn’t all unicorns and rainbows.
* * *
When Hannah saw the paint, she forgot all about boats. She wanted her room painted. Now.
‘It’s too late to start today, sweetheart,’ Eve said. ‘I’ll have to move your bed.’
‘Where do you want it?’ Kit asked. ‘She doesn’t like Nana’s room.’
‘It’s the big dark furniture and the smell of lavender polish. I didn’t like it when I was little.’ She pulled a face. ‘To be honest, I don’t like it now.’
‘It’s going to be a big bonfire.’
‘I can’t burn it! It’s antique!’ He grinned, she rolled her eyes, then laughed. The two of us, she realised, could be a lot more fun than do-it-yourself. ‘You can take her bed into my room.’
The furniture moved, they were ‘helped’ by Hannah as they took down the curtains and ripped up the old carpet.
Hannah had scrambled eggs and toast soldiers for tea. Eve and Kit had Mary’s casserole. The icky green bathroom, and everyone in it, got soaked when Kit introduced water fountain play at bath time and then he read his little girl a bedtime story before, having tucked her in, he set to work on her bedroom.
‘I’ll bet you didn’t think you’d be filling dints and cracks in the plaster this evening,’ Eve said, as she set about rubbing down the paintwork.
‘I’ve done a lot today that I never imagined. I’d stay later, but I promised to give Mom a break tonight.’
‘You should go. I can handle this.’
‘No. I’ve got until ten. It’s just in case he wakes up and needs something, or someone. He likes to be read to.’
After a couple of hours they stopped for a cup of tea, sitting side by side on the floor, backs to the wall.
‘When did you get so good at DIY?’ Eve asked.
‘The resort, obviously, was decorated to the highest standard, but Dad didn’t believe in paying union rates for the parts that were not on view. We were expected to pitch in and do what was needed in the offices, the storage units and outbuildings. Laura, too.’
‘Equal opportunities child labour?’
‘He said it was character-building. Maybe we should get Hannah painting tomorrow.’
‘If you like, but you’ll be in charge of cleaning up.’
‘What about you?’ he asked. ‘It’s not the first time you’ve sanded down a door.’
‘When I moved into my mother’s flat I was an eighteen-year-old student with a paintbrush and no one to stop me. I made a lot of mistakes—purple is not an easy colour to live with. The Internet taught me that preparation is all, and practice makes perfect.’
‘But not, apparently, in the downstairs cloakroom.’
‘It’s my first attempt at tiling and the walls are not straight. I’m afraid I let my frustration show.’
‘I’ve got a cure for that.’
Eve felt her cheeks grow hot.
‘A spirit level?’ he suggested, but his eyes were saying something else and his mouth was within an inch of hers when Hannah cried out.
‘It’s the strange room,’ she said, ridiculously flustered. ‘I’ll go and settle her.’
But Hannah wanted her daddy.
He tucked her in, gave her a kiss and said, ‘See you tomorrow, honeybun,’ and she was asleep again before he left the room.
‘She wanted to be sure you were still here,’ Eve said.
‘And you? Do you want me to stay?’
‘It doesn’t matter what I want. I know you’ll leave.’
‘You don’t think a man can change course?’ He dug in his jeans pocket and produced a small velvet ring box. ‘If you don’t like this, you can choose something else, but it’s my promise that I’ll always be there for Hannah. For both of you.’
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
KIT TOOK THE ring from the box but, while she’d given an involuntary gasp at a stunning diamond, flanked by rubies, that lay tucked into the velvet, Eve instinctively drew back.
‘My hands are dirty,’ she said. ‘My nails are chipped.’
‘If you want to get yourself gussied up, I’ll take you out to dinner and go down on one knee,’ he offered.
Startled, she dragged her gaze from the mesmerising sparkle to his face. ‘You have got to be kidding.’
‘Am I laughing?’
‘Don’t even think about it.’
He shrugged. ‘If you’re sure.’
‘Sure? Kit, this is crazy. We barely know one another. Not in any way that matters,’ she added, before he said something outrageous. ‘I promise you don’t need a wedding band, or a court order, to see Hannah. That you want to be a dad to her means more to me than I can begin to say, and I swear on everything that I hold dear that I will make our lives here. You can see Hannah as often as you wish. Pick her up from preschool, take her for ice cream, play on the beach—’
‘Teach her to sail?’
She barely hesitated before she said, ‘Teach her to sail. But marriage is a leap into the dark and the landing can be painful.’
‘We can have a prenup,’ he said. ‘I’d hate for anyone to think I was after Hannah’s cottage.’
‘Oh, for heaven’s sake...’ Kit had made millions through sponsorship and endorsements. He was the one who needed to guard his fortune. ‘Can you be serious for a moment?’
‘I have never been more serious in my life.’ His free hand was on her shoulder, the one with the butterfly. ‘We both know that if you’d wanted money, you could have had it any time. The lawyers might have insisted on a DNA test but I would have known. You wouldn’t have had to go to court.’
‘How could I have been so wrong about you?’
‘You didn’t know me.’
‘Yes... Yes, I did.’
‘And I know that your promise is everything.’
‘And yet there is a but coming.’
‘I’m sorry, but... You said I needed a dose of reality and this is as real as it gets. I want my daughter to have my name, Eve. Not hidden away where no one ever sees it,’ he said, before she could speak, ‘but on the school register. I want to be there at bedtime not just for the stories, but to make sure she brushes her teeth. To feel the panic when she has a fever. I don’t want to be the parent who swoops in with gifts, trips to theme parks, a puppy.’
‘No puppy!’
‘If I was an irresponsible father, with no conscience, I would put one in her arms and you wouldn’t be able to do a thing about it.’
‘But you’re not and you wouldn’t,’ she said.
‘I don’t want to the part-time parent who is all about outings, toys, but never there when she’s kicking off and be
ing a brat.’
‘You will so regret saying that when she’s five going on fifteen.’
‘I have a sister and, believe me, I have no illusions.’
‘Seriously?’
‘I don’t want to be there just for the good stuff, I want to be there for all the stuff, and for that to happen, Eve, I need you. I checked the resort bookings this morning and there’s space next Wednesday.’
He wasn’t saying, I love you, will you marry me?
No pretence, no romance but she wouldn’t have believed him if he had.
He was saying, I need you, you will marry me.
It wasn’t romantic, but it was honest. And she hadn’t said no. She’d said her hands were dirty and he believed he’d won.
‘That’s less than a week.’
‘You were the one who mentioned the Las Vegas option.’
‘I wasn’t serious! I understand how you feel, Kit, but you’ve been hit by an emotional bombshell,’ she said. ‘You’re not thinking rationally. Give it some time and you’ll see I’m right.’
‘Is there someone else?’ he asked.
‘What? No. No!’ she repeated. ‘There has never been anyone else since that night.’
‘No one? You were never lonely?’
‘I’ve steered clear of beaches since the night we made Hannah, Kit. She takes all my time.’
‘I doubt you’ll believe me but there has been no one else for me, either.’ He put his head back against the wall, looking up at the ceiling, but she didn’t think he was seeing much, except emptiness.
‘No one?’ she asked, with the same intensity as he’d asked that question.
‘There were plenty of opportunities,’ he admitted, ‘but when you looked at me it was as if no one had ever seen me before. I searched for you all that summer, Eve, and since then, wherever in the world I was, I have turned at the sight of every redhead.’ He grinned. ‘Which was beginning to get embarrassing. But I never stopped looking, and that night at the auction... I didn’t know you were there, but I felt something. You had marked me on your skin, Eve, and that night I caught the scent of vanilla and the air shimmered.’ He was still holding her hand and this time she didn’t pull back, allowing him to slip the ring onto her finger.