by Karen Deen
I want to talk to Lilly, but I know that if I call her it makes this relationship—or should I say arrangement—more than it should be. She helps me to talk things out like Xavier does but in a different way. Well, it’s not always talking but it helps just as well. Problem is this time I need to talk about her. I can’t talk to Xavier because we aren’t telling anyone. Can’t throw it all out on the table with Lilly, the information is too sensitive for the case.
My feet just pound harder with water splashing up my legs as I run through the puddles. It’s dark outside and I’m not even sure how long I’ve been running for. I’m soaked through from a mixture of my sweat and rain. Usually I pass other runners but at this time of night and with the weather, no one else is stupid enough to be out here. Not an ideal time of night to be running in dark clothes. I’m conscious of staying off the road away from the cars in this low visibility. Another lap of the block should do it. My legs are starting to scream at me, and my head is saying it’s sick of thinking. Hot shower, pizza delivery and some trashy show that will hopefully put me to sleep. Beers will be the beverage of choice tonight. Drown out the thinking for a while. Numb the brain.
It all sounds good, but I know once I sit down, the case will start in my head and I’ll end up on the laptop trying to sift through the evidence we have and making notes. There’s still something not sitting right here. That’s why I know I need to take the undercover role. I need closure on this case which makes me determined to find her one way or another.
15
Lilly
“ZACH, CAN YOU TELL Grant to get off my case. I have done everything he’s asked today, yet he’s still riding my tail like I’m some junior. Not in the mood,” I snap. My brother backs away from my desk with his hands in the air in retreat.
“Don’t shoot the messenger, Lil. You know what he’s like. Just ignore him. It works for Luke.” I look up at him and we both chuckle a little.
“Ahh now that’s better. A little more smile and I might actually be able to say you look happy.” He walks round the side of my desk and gives me a hug around the shoulders. “What’s got you all worked up today, sis?”
I want to say the fact that my fuck buddy hasn’t been in touch for four days and I’m having withdrawals. I also want to say I’m worried he’s had his fun already and I’m far from ready to let go yet. But instead, I just go for the safe option, which Zach doesn’t need to know but still not a lie.
“Just being a woman today is enough to make me shitty.” I feel him tensing a little and standing up, really retreating this time. No man will ever find talking about ‘women’s issues’ easy but when your sister is talking about the fact she’s on her period, then that’s the warning siren to say run for the hills.
“Well, that will do it. Don’t need to know any more. You know where to find Emily if you want to chat.” I get a quick kiss on the cheek and he’s out the door. He doesn’t understand it’s not just the PMS that’s making me want to scratch out every person’s eyes who walks past me today. It’s because even if Kane contacts me to get together, I’m out of commission. Now that will suck big time. Plus, how do I even answer that message?
‘Sorry, Kane, can’t make it, surfing the crimson tide today.’ Or perhaps be more ladylike: ‘Sorry the decorators are in for the week, I’m redecorating. I’ll call you back when they’re finished’. Both sound absolutely ridiculous. I’m not a crass person but I’m not a high society lady who looks down on the common people, either. I wonder how Kane will respond to a simple statement of sorry no sex today due to my period. Will he feel awkward or just get straight to the point of talking about my period? See, this is the difference between a relationship and just a fucking arrangement – literally. It sounded like such a good idea at the time but there are so many obstacles. I just stick my head down and start to tackle the next pile of files that Zach so kindly delivered.
“Hey, Lilly, Xavier wants to know if you want to come over for dinner tonight after work. He’s going to ask Kane if he wants to come too. You’ve both been in shit moods all week so he thought maybe it might do you both good to bitch it out with each other.” Alesha’s been getting more confident since Xavier came onto the scene. She gets my attention at the words, Kane’s been in a shit mood too. “Before you say no, Nat will be there, and his friend Jordan is in town. It’ll be fun. What do you say?”
Looking at my computer screen, I see that it’s just after three in the afternoon. That gives me time to try to pull myself out of this mood. I’m not sure I want to see Kane but then I can’t help myself. I’ve got to know if he’s avoiding me. I’m kicking myself for being needy but what the hell.
“Okay, not sure how long I’ll stay since I feel a bit off, but yeah, I’ll be there. Do I need to bring anything? It would have to be something bought, because I can’t be bothered to prepare anything hard on a work night. You know I don’t do domestic duties very well.”
“You are such a princess, Lil. Seriously, Mom taught you the exact same things she taught me growing up, yet I can cook a four-course meal, and you can serve up takeaway on China plates. God help your future husband.” She shakes her head as she picks up her phone to message Xavier, I’m assuming.
“Look, I can do that cooking if I really want to, I just choose not to. Plus, any future husband of mine, who by the way will not be around for a very long time yet, will be super rich and have me living in the luxury I deserve. With a cook, a maid, and my own west wing to keep my shoe collection.” For the first time today, I feel like smiling. No matter what, Alesha and I can do that to each other, pull each other out of the fog we’re sinking in. Sometimes I think the sisterly bond is as strong as the bond between twins, well, it is for us anyway.
“Lordy, that poor man!” She’s shaking her head as the phone rings on her desk and we’re both back into work. The next couple of hours fly past and we’re both rushing out of the office to have time to go home and change. I don’t know why Alesha and Xavier just don’t move in together. It’s not like they aren’t already sleeping together. No point being old-fashioned now.
What to wear to a quiet mid-week dinner in your soon-to-be brother-in-law’s home. With family and friends and your fuck-buddy. Well, maybe he’s still your fuck-buddy. So much for no awkwardness. I feel more nervous getting dressed for tonight than I did the night I turned up at his apartment in a trench coat and not much else. Not sure what that says about me, more confident as his red vixen than as his Lilly. Snap out of it, woman. Remember you are not his as per the definition of the agreement. I need to stop these thoughts before I start falling down this rabbit hole of hurt.
I don’t want to be showing too much skin, otherwise it’ll be too obvious. It’s also false advertising showing off a product, when the stock isn’t currently available. The pictures on the shelf are just to look at, but no touching. I need to feel comfortable, with a hint of sexy. I still want to give him blue balls. That’ll be his punishment for ignoring me for the last few days. That’s it, the perfect outfit has just come to mind. Operation Blue Balls is under way.
I decide to Uber over to dinner so I can have a few drinks. I might need them to keep me calm or to give me courage to sit across from the sex god who’s been completely ignoring me. Pulling up in front of the building, I’m starting to regret that decision a little. Letting me loose with champagne could mean there’s going to be too much truth being spoken. In this company, I’ll be in real trouble. Telling myself my limit is three glasses, I exit the elevator and take a big deep breath. Okay, Lilly, get your sassy, sexy pants on and go make this man miss you. So much so, he’s wriggling in his seat all night trying to relieve his hard cock that’s pressing against his zipper with no place to go. Well, there are plenty of places I would like it to go but that’s another story.
Approaching the door, I can hear loud laughing coming from inside. Trying to pick out the voices, I can tell Kane is here and I think I’m the last to arrive. Time to make the grand entrance. I k
nock on the door, waiting for it to open. Xavier opens it while laughing and half turned back to what is going on in the living room.
“Man, I miss having you around, Jordan. Hey, Lilly. Welcome.” Everyone stops what they’re doing and laughing about and turn to look at me. With my eyes fixed completely on Kane, I strut in, making my grand entrance.
“The life of the party has arrived, now you can really get started. I hope you’re all ‘Red’y,” I accentuate at Kane.
His eyes are blazing with the fire I’ve just ignited.
Plan executed perfectly.
I stand in the middle of the room in my black skinny jeans, knee-high leather boots—with a heel, of course—and a red off-the-shoulder sweater that hugs my boobs tightly. He knows exactly what I’m trying to say to him. If he thinks he can forget me in a hurry, think again, Wolf. Little Red is here tonight, and she means business.
“Looking hot, Lilly, those morning workouts are working. Must be the awesome personal trainer you have.” Xavier hugs me as he walks past to sit down. I’m still looking at Kane who looks like he wants to kill Xavier for his comments, and for touching me too.
Interesting.
“Get lost, when was the last time you trained Lil? It’s all me, brother dearest. You’re too busy with Alesha pretending to train/feel her up in the mornings. I think you guys should just stay home and do your workout.” Natalie giggles to herself as she sips on her drink. She already has a little glow on her face that tells me she’s well on her way to a headache in the morning. Good for her; now I need to restrain myself, otherwise I might very well be joining her.
“Spot on, Nat, you and I got this, girlfriend. We work our booties hard together and forget about the lovebirds. You’re tough on me but my butt thanks you for it.” Giving my ass a little slap.
I hear Kane mumble under his breath, “Me too.” Then he squirms for the first time tonight. This is going to be fun.
Poor Alesha looks embarrassed, but she’s getting used to us all using her and Xavier as the joke of the day. Plus, it takes the heat off me for the moment.
“Lilly, you remember Jordan, don’t you?” Xavier asks.
“Yeah and I’m glad this time we’re meeting under better circumstances. Let’s hope these two can stay out of trouble tonight so we can finish the night without running off to rescue them.” Everyone laughs although it’s still there in the back of all our minds. “How long are you in town?”
“Just a few nights. We have a week off and I needed to get out of town for a bit. This place always feels like home, somewhere I can feel normal, you know, just be regular Jordan. Well, as normal as you can be hanging around these two idiots,” Jordan says, gesturing to the two boys. He slaps Xavier on the arm as he stands to get another round of beers. “Can I get you a drink?” he asks me.
“I’ll get it,” Kane snaps before I even have a chance to answer.
Well hello there, big bad wolf.
Welcome to the party.
“Thanks, boys, champagne will be lovely.” Trying not to react to Kane at all, I walk over and sit next to Natalie, and catch her checking out Jordan’s ass as he walks away. Mind you, he does have a hot body. Pro football players need to be in shape. I have a feeling, though, that Nat likes that shape a little more than the rest of us. Could explain the tipsy glow she has going on and the already confident outspoken comments. I’ll be getting that gossip next gym session, that’s for sure.
“So, super chef Xavier, what’s for dinner? I’m starving.” I’m a little hungry but it’s more that I know I need to eat if I’m going to be drinking. Before I start doing and saying stupid things.
“Well, I’m surprised you haven’t picked it from the smell but it’s just roast beef and vegetables. Dinner was last-minute when I found out Jordan was arriving so went to the easy staple menu.”
He’s right, it does smell amazing in here now that he mentions it. I was a little distracted when I first walked in.
Kane walks towards me with my champagne and his beer in his hands. Instead of heading back to the seat he was sitting in, he sits on the arm of the sofa. Right next to me so we’re almost touching,
“For you.” He hands me the glass and deliberately brushes my fingers as I take it from him. The tingles are still there and just as strong. His voice has dropped down that little bit lower in tone. Almost to the level of the voice I love. The one I can never ignore because it dominates my thoughts.
“Thank you,” I whisper, because just the smell of him being this close is making me feel off-kilter already.
The general conversation continues as Xavier gets up to check on the dinner. We all offer to help but he refuses and leaves us to it. We get onto talking about Jordan’s wife Sasha. She isn’t here with him again this time. I would love to meet her. Being a Victoria’s Secret model sounds amazing. Alesha has shown me pictures and she’s stunning. Though when Jordan is talking about her, there seems to be something not quite right. There’s no sparkle in his eyes or the sound of love in his voice. I might be wrong, but I have a feeling all is not well in paradise.
“Shame she’s not here. Is she going to be able to make the wedding?” I ask trying to concentrate on something other than Kane. He’s so close now, leaning on the back of the sofa with his arm lying behind where my head is resting. He looks innocent enough, but no one can see his hidden fingers that are stroking across my bare neck and shoulders. I thought I was the one who’s supposed to be cock-teasing him; instead, I’m trying not to rub my legs together for relief.
“She’s not sure. It’ll depend on her upcoming contracts. She’ll try, of course.” Again, he doesn’t sound convincing.
“Well, Alesha and I asked you all here for dinner tonight for a special reason.” Xavier walks back in and drags Alesha out of her seat to wrap her in front of him in his arms.
I can’t help myself it just rushes out. “Oh my god, are you pregnant?” They both start laughing at me as I nearly jump out of my seat.
“Calm down, Lilly, no, not yet. Plenty of time for that, although, we are perfecting the process through practice.” Everyone groans as Lesh slaps his arm.
“No, all jokes aside, we wanted to have you all together to let you all know that you’re our wonderful bridal party. We’ve asked you all individually but here we’re all together. Lilly and Kane will be our Maid of Honor and Best Man and partner up, and Nat, you and Jordan will partner up. You are the four most important people in our lives. We’re so grateful to have you help us celebrate what will be an amazing day. We both want to thank you and can’t wait for the fun that will be had. Of course, that is if Mother of the Bride-zilla, Sophia, doesn’t kill us all before then. Lord help us. Anyway, cheers to good friends and family. Always there when you need them. We love you.” Xavier raises his beer and we all stand clinking glasses and bottles. Hugging and us girls are crying. He might be quite the joker, but Xavier is one of the sweetest guys I know. So happy for Alesha. He is just what she needs.
“Right, enough of this sappy stuff, let’s eat.” He heads into the kitchen to serve up the meal and we all move to the table to get seated. Kane never leaves my side and pulls my chair out so he can make sure he sits with me, moving the chair closer than what ‘friendship’ allows. I’m not complaining, but he’s making things look a little suspicious to the others. Although Alesha and Xavier are always so wrapped up in each other, I’m not sure they ever notice the little things around them anymore. Nat is on the other side of the table, quickly getting tipsy, and has just refilled her own glass again ready to push herself over the edge. Jordan keeps watching her, and there is something underlying there. I have no idea what, and to be honest, I have enough shit happening on this side of the table which I need to concentrate on.
My attention is shifted quickly when I feel Kane’s hand on my thigh. My body reacts instantly to his touch. While I’m trying to keep my reaction under control, he leans close to me and in a low whisper says, “Miss me, Red?” Ugh, that voice!
I slowly swallow the lump in my throat. His hand starts sliding slowly up my leg. “Bet you’re wet for me. Dressing up for me all in red. Trying to give me a hint.” With the noise in the kitchen startling me, I try to pull away a little, but his hand and voice have me frozen where I am.
“You should’ve called, I would have taken care of you. Like only I can. I can tell you need to be fucked.”
Gasping at his words, Alesha and Xavier choose that exact moment to come into the room with the food. Lesh is looking at me trying to work out what’s going on. My face must be giving away my shock. She mouths, ‘You okay?’ to me as she follows behind Xavier. I just nod my head and let her know all is good, and I try to wiggle my chair to the side, a little farther away from Kane. There is no way he’s having any of that.
I need to find a space to catch a breath. Maybe it’s my hormones being in the crazy phase of the month, but I just feel so overwhelmed with being so close to him. Here I thought I was coming here tonight to punish him for not calling. Now he’s shown his hand pretty quickly on how much he wanted to see me and was waiting for my call. This feeling is so much more intense than what I planned on feeling around Kane when we aren’t in bed fucking.
What have I done?
“I’ll just get some water.” I jump up heading into the kitchen only to hear the mumble of Kane saying something behind me.
Pulling the bottle from the fridge, I turn to find a wall of Kane in front of me. He steps me backwards into the laundry room that’s off to the side of the kitchen. Backing me against the wall, his mouth is on mine. I want to say stop because we need to talk. My body doesn’t care. It’s already responding to him. It always will.
He owns me!
16