by Karen Deen
Kane
“YEAH, MAN, I’LL BE right down. Could use a few beers and laughs. Been a long week.” Dinner with friends will suit just fine. Food will be great, and taking my mind off work for a while sounds perfect. Bonus is, Lilly will be there. I’ve been trying to avoid her this week, sorting out how I’m going to handle the impending situation. The thing that worries me is that she hasn’t called me since I ran out on her Sunday morning. I know that’s what we agreed but I thought she would’ve called by now. That’s what girls do, isn’t it? They’re supposed to be the needy ones. Although I try to tell myself I want to keep a little distance, at night I want nothing more than to be buried inside her. She’s like a drug to my soul. I’ve had a taste and now the craving is intense. Not sure what the hell is going on with me, but I need to cap this. Sex is one thing but craving her is not part of the plan. There was supposed to be no attachment.
As I sit and chat with everyone while waiting for Lilly to arrive, I feel apprehensive. Slamming down the first beer to settle me and chase away this stupidity, I’m already almost through my second when the knock on the door finally comes.
There she is, my hot fucking vixen.
Dressed in red, that’s like waving the flag at the bull.
She knows what she does to me and plays this game all too well.
I was determined to come to dinner and just play it cool.
Not a fucking chance.
Standing there slapping her ass in front of my face. I’ll show her whose ass that is to spank.
***
As I provoke her in front of the others, I can see the signs of how turned on she’s getting. She’s bordering between flushed from sexual tension and wanting to scream at me to back off in front of everyone. Her body is in turmoil. Just how I love it. Testing her is the kind of control I love. She’s such a strong, stubborn woman yet has this part of her that craves to be sexually dominated.
My perfect equal.
Hearing her gasp and clench her legs together at my comment snaps my restraint. Following her, I need to remind her what she needs. More accurately, who she needs.
Pushing her into the laundry room, there’s no time to talk. I slam my lips on hers and all her fight disappears. I love that first moan that always comes when I claim her. It’s like her cry of relief to let go. The tension in my body is pouring into the kiss. I don’t want to stop but I know I can’t keep her in here too long. I’m being an asshole to her, I just don’t know how to pull back my need to have her.
“Kane, we need to stop.” She pushes back from me breathlessly. I know she’s right, except I call the shots.
“I’ll tell you when we’re finished.” I lean in to kiss her again, just a little gentler this time. I make it a quick one. Pulling her close and burying my face in the crook of her neck, breathing her in. The beautiful unique scent that is Lilly. I can’t describe what it is, I just know it calms me and arouses me at the same time. It’s become my favorite scent.
“Kane,” she whispers.
“Need you,” is all I can get out. She disarms me just by being near her.
“I can’t.” Those two words stop me dead. Releasing her, I step back a bit. “Don’t panic, it’s not bad. I’ll explain later.” Before I have time to quiz her, Xavier yells out wondering where we are, complaining his dinner is getting cold. Lilly is straightening herself up and then gives me that sassy smirk. It’s like my stress level instantly drops. I don’t know what the hell is going on but there is no way after a kiss like that we’re over.
Back at the table, I can’t help but touch her leg and the occasional brushing of our shoulders as we lean to reach different things on the table. At one stage I even manage to brush across the side of her breast as I reach for a beer from Jordan across the table. The little hint of air she sucks in feeds my already-hard cock. I want to keep her heightened arousal just below the point where it shows to others, but it’s still there for the plans I have later.
Alesha speaks up over the table, “Now that we’ve fed you and plied enough alcohol, this Saturday you’re all requested for lunch out at Zach and Emily’s farm with the family. Before you say anything, it’s a request of the bridezilla mom, and if you say you can’t come, you’re on your own telling her.” Alesha tries to be polite about the lunch Mom is obviously already planning.
“In other words, there is no request, it’s an instruction of ‘be there or there’ll be trouble’. Beware the wrath of Meme.” Lilly is laughing taking a large gulp of her drink. Coping with Lilly here in a small environment is hard enough but trying to pretend in front of her whole family. Fuck this is going to be crazy.
“Who’s Meme?” Poor Jordan looks so confused.
“The calm grandmother my mom turns into when she’s not the crazy Sophia she is with all her grown-up kids,” Lil tells him, then we all start laughing except Jordan who still looks a little lost. “Don’t worry, it’ll make more sense on the weekend. Just make sure you bring your appetite and don’t be late.”
Alesha looks a little stressed. “I’m sorry in advance for my mom and the amount of wedding talk that’ll happen. She has become a little obsessed with giving me the perfect day. If it gets too much, just tell us on the day, and I’ll try to get her to back off.” Xavier takes her around the shoulders, pulling her closer and kissing her on the top of her head.
“Baby, no one cares about your crazy mom. We just want you happy and not stressed. I know this whole thing is going to be a struggle with your OCD tendencies anyway, but your mom is not helping that. So, I have a plan. Whenever it gets too much, we need a code word.” He’s trying to make sure she’s calm, and by the expression on his face he’d move mountains to make her happy.
“Do you mean a safe word like in that book? What was it? ‘Red’?” Nat giggles at the mention of something a little risqué.
Lily spits out her champagne, and I pat her on the back and chuckle far more than anyone else. Everyone is looking at Lilly choking, thinking Natalie just shocked her with what she said. They have no idea how close to home it hit.
“Too much information, Nat, that you, my little sister, is reading that shit. No wonder you don’t have a boyfriend, you scare them off,” Xavier can’t help himself.
“No, it’s because they don’t think I’m pretty and they can tell I’m in love with someone else.” She takes another drink of her wine. We all just stop and stare at her.
“What the fuck, are they blind? You’re stunning! They don’t deserve you,” Jordan blurts out. Our shocked heads then turn to look at him. That one statement holds more passion and fire than any time I’ve seen him talk about his wife.
Natalie’s had too much wine already, obviously, because she doesn’t even register what he’s said. It’s almost as if she’s mumbling to herself, not realizing she’s talking out loud. “I might love him, but he doesn’t love me. He’s not for me, off-limits. Was too slow. Should’ve told him but he never knew I was there.”
“Okay, little sister, you have had enough for tonight. I’m cutting you off and it’s time to get you home.” Xavier stands to get his keys when Jordan jumps up.
“I’ll take her home. I need to get some rest anyway. Her apartment is on the way to my hotel.” As he starts to help her up, she looks up at him like he hangs the moon.
“Do you love your wife, Jordan?” Nat murmurs. Then when he doesn’t answer she keeps going. “Does she love you? Because she should. Waste if she doesn’t.” Wobbling on her feet, the boys get her into her coat and heading towards the door. “I think I’m a little drunk. I don’t drink. Who made me drunk? It was you, wasn’t it, Jordan. You wanted me drunk so you can tell me I’m ugly too. Shit, I think I’m going to pass out.” She leans into Jordan with all her weight.
“She do this often?” Jordan looks at Xav with a pissed expression.
“Nah, man, she must’ve skipped lunch or something. Totally not her. Hasn’t changed since we were teenagers. She’s a lightweight. That’s why she was a
lways our driver for all the parties we dragged her to. Are you sure you don’t want me to take her home or help you?”
“I got her. You enjoy the rest of your night. I’ll get her home safe and she can sleep it off. Tomorrow’s going to suck for her, though.” He easily picks her up and starts towards the door, saying his goodbyes over his shoulder.
“Well, that was interesting. I’ve never seen Nat that drunk before. She was quiet and seemed okay then suddenly was way past it. Hope she’s okay.” Lesh looks worried.
“If we were out at a club, I would have been suspicious, but knowing where the drinks came from, it looks like she was just drowning her sorrows or underestimated how much she was drinking.” I look towards Xavier.
“I’ve seen her drunk like that a couple of times but not often. Worst one was when we were heading out to a party and Jordan called me to tell me he was engaged. He wanted me to know before it hit the media. By the time we reached the party, which was full of school friends, it was all over the media and everyone was talking about it. She got sick of listening to the whole party turning into a Jordan celebration when he wasn’t even there. To her, he was just Jordan, her brother’s buddy. She got so drunk that night she vomited for two days. Never really talked about that night much. Said she didn’t remember anything but I’m not so certain.”
“What was she like at his wedding?” I ask. Something tells me there’s way more to this than her brother is seeing.
“She never made it there. She said she was sick and couldn’t come. Jordan was really worried about her and said he was glad she stayed home and rested. He didn’t want her to get worse just for him. So, she hasn’t actually ever met Sasha because she never travels home with Jordan either. Always off on some assignment or whatever. Not that I mind because it means I get to spend most of the short time he’s here, with him. Anyway, let’s have another drink and eat some dessert.” He turns to head to the kitchen.
“I think I might call it a night too,” Lilly says, getting to her feet. “Been a long week. Sounds like the weekend is going to be full with Mom so might need my beauty sleep. Thanks for dinner you two. Kane, nice to see you again. I’ll just order my Uber ride and head downstairs.” Picking up her bag and coat, I’m right behind her making my presence known by slipping her coat on for her.
“I’ll walk down and wait with you. I’m heading out anyway. Sorry to miss dessert but I’m sure Xavier will eat his fair share.” I give him that man chin lift that holds a secret meaning.
“I’m fine if you want to stay and eat dessert. I won’t have to wait long.” She smiles sweetly at me, knowing full well what I have in mind.
“No. I’ll keep you company, then I can head upstairs and have dessert at home if I feel like it. Now let’s get you moving so we don’t miss your ride.” I gently push her to the door like I’m on a mission of sorts. I quickly hug both Alesha and Xavier, thanking them for dinner, and suddenly I’m in the hallway with Lilly on our own.
“Let’s go,” is all I say as I walk us towards the lift.
She just stands there quietly, not moving, not speaking. I want to know what she’s thinking about. What is going on in that head of hers and what the hell was that statement before telling me she can’t?
The elevator doors open and we both step in. Both our hands reach for the buttons; I press my level as she goes to press ground floor.
“Not a chance, Red. You’re coming with me first. No arguing.” As the doors close, I watch as she goes to open her mouth to say something. I capture her mouth before the first word escapes. She tastes like champagne and beef, but she smells just like I dream about at night. It doesn’t take long before she gives in trying to protest and her hands are in my hair. The passion’s rising and the kiss is to the point I want to take her right here in this elevator. She’s damn lucky we’ve reached my floor, otherwise I would be stripping her naked right here.
Guiding her out towards my door, she starts to try to talk again.
“No, not here, save it for inside.” I don’t care what she’s going to tell me, but she can wait until I’ve fucked her and reminded her how good we are together. Before she tries to tell me whatever bullshit excuse she has, why we can’t do this. I know I’m supposed to be pulling back, but just seeing her tonight has me just wanting her more. I knew she was going to be trouble the first time I saw her. After the first time of tasting her and sinking into her promised land, I knew I was fucked. Tried to tell myself it’d be easy. Tonight, I’m doubting all the cockiness I had back then.
Closing the door, I’m stalking her like the big bad wolf she likes to call me. My little Red is fine enough for the big bad wolf to eat her tonight.
“Kane, listen, I can’t have sex with you,” she yells at me. Her tone snaps me out of the lusting fog.
“What are you talking about, Red? Look at you. You came here ready to flirt with me and drive me crazy all night. What the hell is going on?”
“Oh my god, you are so annoying! Just shut up and listen. I’m not telling you it’s over.”
“Damn straight you’re not,” I growl at her. Even though my head is screaming at me that is exactly what needs to happen.
“Zip it and just listen.” I go to open my mouth again but the look she gives me has me holding the words in my head. “I’m on my period. It’s that simple. I can’t have sex because I am on my period. You know, time out in the main game, does that compute with your stupid macho brain?” I stop cold and just stare at her.
Before long I start laughing, I can’t stop, and I’m bent over trying to suck in air. It’s like all my nervous energy that I had stored up is coming out as laughter. It’s releasing so I don’t explode.
“Jesus, Lil, why didn’t you just tell me, or message me that? No need to be embarrassed. I would rather a message than nothing for four days and be confused as to what’s going on.” I go to wrap her in my arms only to have her slap me on the chest.
“Me! What about you?” she screams at me. “Where are my messages from the last few days? You run out of my apartment to work after the best weekend of my life and then just nothing. Not ‘Hey, I’m safe, just busy with work.’ Not ‘Hey, sex was awesome, will be in touch.’ Just nothing. You think a girl likes to be left hanging?”
I step backwards to stop her from hitting me. “Shit, Lilly, this is exactly why I don’t do relationships, too many expectations.”
“Yet, you were hanging waiting for a message from me, confused what had happened. Don’t you see? We both suck at this fuck-buddies thing. We’re falling over the line and it’s only the first week.” By now her voice is calming down and getting soft. I just open my arms, and she falls into them.
We stand there for a few moments just feeling the connection that’s not supposed to be there.
“I’m sorry, Kane, my hormones have had me being a raving bitch the last few days. I’m all over the place and can’t seem to work out what the hell I’m doing.”
“Hey.” I place my finger under her chin and lift her face to look at me. “I could have reached out too. I’m so caught up in this case that’s thrown me a curve ball, I was selfish and not thinking either.”
“What do we do now?” Lilly looks up at me with those beautiful eyes. The ones I can’t say no to.
“We go to bed.”
“Kane—”
I place my finger on her lips. “We go to bed and snuggle up together and sleep. I don’t know about you, but I haven’t slept well this week, and when I have you in my arms, I sleep the best I’ve done in a long time. What do you say?” I rest my hands on her shoulders waiting for her answer. “The rest we figure out in the morning.”
“Deal, the rest we leave until tomorrow. Tonight, let’s just sleep.”
Leading down the hallway to my room, I’m mentally kicking myself.
Every step I take in this arrangement is making this so much harder.
I haven’t been called in on the case yet so there’s still time.
Ti
me to cuddle, time to have sex.
Time to fall out of love with her because I’m already stepping over the line.
One I swore I would never even walk near let alone put a foot over.
I do know one thing: no matter what I want…loving Lilly is not an option.
17
Lilly
WHY IS IT WHEN I think the night’s going to go one direction, Kane just seems to pick it up, turn it on its head and change it? Controlling bastard.
I’m wrapped snuggly in a pair of his running shorts and a training shirt under the blankets of his bed. Kane is showering and my mind is desperately wanting to be in there with him. I came to dinner tonight ready to rip him apart for ignoring me and end up snuggled in his bed ready to cuddle and sleep together. Just when I think I get him worked out, he shows me another side to the ever-changing man that is Kane. This Kane is so soft and caring. He made sure I was all relaxed, wanting to give me clothes so I wouldn’t feel uncomfortable. Mind you, I think they may also be to help him to keep his hands to himself.
Burrowing down into the blankets and resting my head on his pillow, gives me a feeling of home. The smell of Kane is embedded in everything around me. I love the smell of the aftershave and shower gel he uses. They combine to give a very masculine smell. One I’ll happily wear home tomorrow buried in my pores. If I’m lucky, maybe I can sneak this t-shirt into my bag. So the nights when I’m missing him, I can crawl into bed with the scent of Kane and wish he were actually there with me.
I know I’m bordering on the sort of feelings you start to have when you’re in the early stages of a relationship. The ones I promised both of us I’m not interested in and don’t need. I can’t let on to Kane how I feel, otherwise I’ll lose him. I’m not ready for that. We’re just getting to know each other outside of the sexual magnetism we possess. I can’t deny we know each other very well in that department. Our sex has been explosive from the very first encounter. Like nothing I have ever experienced. Every part of that I can’t get enough of. But I crave to know him as a person too. There’s just this connection I can’t deny between us.