A Perfect Cornish Christmas

by Phillipa Ashley

  It would hurt them both to share the secret, but she wanted there to be nothing left in the dark between her and Scarlett. However, as Anna’s sobs subsided, she also knew that she could never tell her mother about the lost child. It would stay a secret. Her mum had suffered enough and some things were best left in the back of the cupboard forever, for everyone’s sakes.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Against all her expectations, Scarlett found herself humming ‘Oh, Little Town of Bethlehem’ as she hurried around the harbour towards Jude’s house. The Christmas lights twinkled in the streets, and stars pricked the sky like tiny fireflies. Although the shops were closed, lights glowed behind almost every cottage window, spreading from the harbour, up the hillside to the cliff top. Festive music spilled out of Gabe’s restaurant, the Net Loft, and huddles of locals were gathered around the door of the Tinners’, pints in hand.

  Anna’s revelation about Julian had knocked her for six but there was another blow to come. After their mum had gone to bed with a headache, Ellie had told her about the baby who might have been her half-sister. It was fortunate that Anna was fast asleep or she might have heard the fresh round of weeping from the sitting room.

  Julian was even more of a louse than she’d ever dreamed; but at least knowing he’d fathered her meant that Jude wasn’t her half-brother. She now owed Jude a proper explanation about why she’d turned so cold towards him. She also hoped he’d be able to tell her how he came to have the postcard.

  She’d stopped wishing that things – like the test, and Julian Mallory – hadn’t happened. It was pointless to un-wish the past and all she could do now, as the year drew to its close, was look to the future and try to make that the best it could be for everyone close to her. That would be her Christmas gift to everyone this year: looking after them, soothing Ellie’s loss, her mother’s guilt and her father’s isolation.

  After she’d collected herself, she’d refused Ellie’s offer of wine, told her she had to speak to Jude and driven off. She’d decided to simply turn up and surprise Jude, gambling that he’d be in.

  His lips parted in shock when he opened the door. So did Scarlett’s at the sight of him barefoot again, in jeans and a faded sweatshirt that brought out the green of his beautiful eyes. Nerves overcame her and she stammered.

  ‘S-sorry I’m here unannounced, only I w-wanted to tell you something. Something important.’

  ‘Yes. I’m here.’ Jude sounded wary, and no wonder after the festival evening. ‘You’d better come in.’

  He showed her into the sitting room where a small tree twinkled with lights, and cards were hung from a string above the mantelpiece.

  She’d rehearsed what she wanted to say, but now she was here, how could she possibly tell the whole truth about what had made her freeze him out? Without some explanation, she wouldn’t be able to get an answer about the card, either.

  The silence stretched out, only for a few seconds, but that was long enough to bring her nerves to fever pitch after the emotional day she’d had. Jude launched in first.

  ‘Look, Scarlett, we haven’t known each other very long but it’s obvious that I like you and we’re a lot more than friends. I thought we were a lot more than friends, but now that seems to have changed since the night before last.’

  ‘Jude—’ she murmured.

  ‘Please, let me say this before I chicken out. We met under pretty weird circumstances, which must have been awkward for you. At first when you landed back in Porthmellow, I wanted to take things steadily as I knew things might not be perfect with your family and that you’d recently come out of a relationship.’

  She listened, amazed as his words tumbled out in a most un-Jude-like way, sensing that she didn’t dare stem the flow.

  He shoved his hands in his pockets. ‘I also need to tell you something else – about me. I’ve had a relationship go badly. I’m over it, but that kind of thing … leaves a mark. I was engaged a couple of years ago, but my fiancée left me without any real warning.’

  ‘Your mum mentioned it at the festival,’ she said softly.

  He blew out a breath. ‘Jesus. Is nothing private?’ He frowned. ‘Is that why you went cold on me at the end of the night?’

  ‘No. God, no. It was nothing to do with that … but I do need to tell you why I wasn’t myself – whatever myself means – and you see, that’s the problem. You already know some of what happened at Christmas. There’s more to it. Much more. I made a mistake and when I tell you what it is you’ll think I’m nuts, or you might be hurt and offended. It’s very difficult for me to explain …’

  ‘In my experience, it’s better to be honest.’

  She smiled to herself, thinking of how much she’d grown to like him, care for him and how badly she wanted to deepen every aspect of their relationship, not to mention, of course, take him to bed.

  ‘I’m not always sure about that. In some ways I genuinely think some things are best left unsaid. I think that’s how long-term relationships – partners, siblings, friendships – work but on the whole I’m in favour of honesty and getting things out in the open too,’ Scarlett went on. ‘Believe me, I really like you.’ Scarlett cringed a little. It sounded so teenagery, but how else could she put it? ‘And what I’m going to say has to do with that, with my mother and – with your father.’

  ‘What?’ He stared at her.

  ‘You see, the real reason for all the trouble at Christmas was a DNA test … Ellie and I thought it would make a great present for the family but it only ended up tearing us apart. It showed that I couldn’t be my dad’s real daughter, which meant that my mother had had an affair.’

  He hung back for a moment, obviously weighing up his reply. ‘I’m very sorry to hear that. No wonder you were devastated … but, Scarlett,’ he added gently, ‘what does this have to do with my family?’

  ‘For ages now, since before I even came here, I’d been trying to find out who my real father is and I discovered that he might have links to Porthmellow. Basically, on the night of the festival, for all kinds of reasons that I now know I had the wrong end of the stick about, something …’ She swallowed.

  ‘About what?’

  ‘I, um, came to believe that you and I might be related. That you might be my half-brother.’ She rushed out the last words, cringing.

  Jude considered for a few agonising seconds before saying, so quietly she almost couldn’t hear above the waves, ‘I see.’

  ‘I can understand that it sounds mad, now, in the cold light of day. It’s not true. Mum told me it isn’t true.’

  His face crumpled in confusion. ‘So why on earth did you think it in the first place?’

  ‘I overheard and misunderstood a conversation between my mum and your dad … and I saw a picture of them together around the time I was conceived.’

  ‘Is that all?’ he said quietly, still looking bewildered and hurt.

  ‘I’d also seen a postcard in a book at the manor last year which I thought – and now know – was from your father to my mother. And the other night I found both in your pantry when I fetched the books.’

  Jude’s mouth fell open.

  ‘Later I heard them talking after the festival and I must have got my wires crossed, but if you’d heard what I did … So I asked Mum what was going on – or what had gone on between them. She said that the two of them had had a brief fling as teenagers and that … and that …’

  Jude folded his arms. His eyes glittered with hurt. Damn, this was going down like a lead balloon.

  ‘And what?’

  ‘I was wrong. In the end. I’d made a huge mistake.’

  ‘Sounds more like a massive assumption,’ he murmured.

  ‘Yes, but it was all a misunderstanding. Put yourself in my position,’ she said, feeling affronted that he was annoyed. ‘I only found out that Roger – my dad – wasn’t my biological father a year ago. Since then I’ve been desperate to know who is, and no one would tell me! Not Mum – for her own reasons –
and so I started searching for him myself. You must at least understand that much!’

  Scarlett was out of breath with stress again.

  Jude was rigid with tension himself. ‘So, you don’t know who your father is and your mum wouldn’t say. I get you must have been cast adrift, devastated, confused, but why automatically assume it was my father? Nobody’s family is perfect. Don’t forget that.’

  ‘I didn’t automatically assume … Don’t act like this.’ She let out a groan of frustration. ‘I came here to make things better between us but it’s made things worse for both of us. And you did have that book – which you denied knowing anything about – and the postcard in the cottage, so what else was I to think?’

  Jude took his time about answering. ‘And is that why you asked me about the book and stayed close to me? You wanted to find out if my dad was this guy … were you playing me?’

  ‘No, I wasn’t playing you!’ Scarlett burst out angrily. ‘That’s not it at all. I genuinely like being with you, Jude, and I’m sorry I got it all wrong, but you also lied about that book.’

  ‘Yes, I did. I shouldn’t have but it was … personal. I’d always loved it and shortly after Joan died, after the funeral when you’d all gone back home, the house was empty for a while.’

  ‘Before Ellie moved in?’

  ‘Yes, of course, otherwise I’d never have done what I did. I was foraging in the grounds one day and I spotted a bedroom window wide open and banging in the wind. I was worried it might get smashed, so I let myself in with the spare key that was always left in the potting shed. I closed the window and noticed the bookcase …’ Jude’s voice faded, as if he was reluctant to continue, but Scarlett was dying to hear the rest.

  ‘I knew I couldn’t make the funeral, you see, and I was gutted, but I was giving a paper at an academic conference in the States … and so I took the book as a keepsake. Joan had always known I loved it and I decided no one would miss it, though that was wrong of me, I realise now. She was so kind to me, your aunt, when Mum and Dad were having one of their rows. I used to escape to the manor, lose myself in the grounds, sometimes she’d invite me in for a drink, or offer me cake, and we’d talk about books and nature …’

  ‘I don’t mind you taking Joan’s book as a memento of her,’ Scarlett said softly. ‘None of us would have. But why did you keep it, and the card, and why didn’t you tell me?’

  ‘That’s personal.’ He pressed his lips together. ‘I thought I knew you, Scarlett. I genuinely thought we might have something special together, an understanding …’ he began. ‘But I was clearly wrong. I – I think we both need to cool down.’ He seemed on the verge of tears and opened the door to the hall.

  Scarlett stifled a gasp. Jesus, he was actually throwing her out. ‘So I’ve been honest with you and you’re not even going to tell me why you kept that card?’ she threw back at him.

  ‘That’s my business. Now, can you please just go?’

  Even though Scarlett was embarrassed and sorry she’d hurt him, she had her pride and was angry with him for deceiving her about the card.

  ‘I think that’s a very good idea too,’ she snapped. ‘No, don’t bother seeing me to the door. I can find my way. If you feel like telling me the whole truth anytime soon, you know where I am!’

  She barged past him and into the hall. She didn’t mean to slam the door behind her but the wind must have caught it and she heard it bang in her wake.

  She made it to the car, jumped in and collapsed back against the head restraint, gasping for breath. Even as she caught her breath, the adrenaline that had kept her going for the past few hours ebbed away like the tide.

  A tear trickled down her face, followed by another. They were tears of disappointment, but also of anger at Jude refusing to meet her honesty with his own. Why had he refused to say why he had lied about the card? She tasted salt in her mouth and everything went misty as the tears flowed out.

  She’d thought Jude might be shocked and surprised, but not that he’d react so angrily and defensively. After he’d told her how much she meant to him, perhaps she should have saved her news for another time when they were both calmer; but he deserved an explanation. Oh, why did she have to go and put her size sixes in it, though? She should have been more cautious, held back more of her suspicions about his dad – or maybe plain lied.

  Dealing with a brooding romantic hero wasn’t half as exciting as it seemed to be in Joan’s novels. Seconds later, regret doused the fire of her anger. Being told your father is a cheating snake is never going to make you happy. The truth hurt – and Jude was already bruised from his fiancée leaving him. Now she’d inflicted a fresh wound that might be beyond repair. But still, she was seriously wondering if she’d misjudged him, as much as he claimed he’d misjudged her.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Christmas Eve

  Ellie recalled the previous year and how she’d enjoyed working in the café on Christmas Eve, feeling the buzz of excitement from kids and adults.

  Since then, the year had brought a rollercoaster of emotions. Lows in the immediate aftermath of their family discovery as they tried and failed to broker a peace between their parents and with Marcus. She knew her father would be treated kindly by her brother, and even Heidi would do her best and the boys would love having Grandad to stay but … her dad liked to have all his family around him. With all their quirks, his family were comforting and familiar, like shrugging on an old pair of slippers. Scarlett had admitted he’d sounded lonely and lost when she’d called him, but their joint invitations to him had so far fallen on deaf ears.

  Ellie was resigned to spending the day without him until she and Scarlett would return to the Midlands in the new year.

  The New Year she’d be spending without Aaron, rather than moving in with him.

  She thought back to their row, her shock and her harsh words. He’d tried to call her again but she’d ignored it, still working out whether she wanted to hear more explanations or excuses. Still working out if she could forgive him for the breach of trust. Besides, for all she knew, he might be working out the divorce with Liza. They’d probably want to talk to each other and she didn’t feel like going near Aaron until Liza had left Porthmellow, whenever that might be.

  The café shut at three p.m., much to the disappointment of holidaymakers still trying the door as she turned the closed sign on it. They wouldn’t open again until December 27, and then they would close again after New Year’s Day, when Tina planned on taking two weeks holiday in the sun. That’s when Ellie and Scarlett had arranged to stay with their father. She wasn’t sure what her mum was planning yet. The future was another country.

  With a hug for Tina, Ellie left the café, clutching a gift from her boss. It was a bright day and here in the far west the sun hadn’t quite set yet and a few shops were still open, with plenty of tourists scurrying to get last-minute presents. Ellie was gripped by a sudden urge to buy an extra gift for Scarlett and her mum. Something silly and fun to brighten the mood, just as they always did on Christmas morning. She also wondered what the hell to do with the pen she’d bought for Aaron – give it to her dad or Marcus, she supposed.

  She popped into a small boutique and bought two pairs of hand-knitted fingerless mittens, one decorated with cats’ ears, the other with a cheeky robin. They were ideal for taking photos or sketching out of doors, or, like Scarlett always was, scrolling through social media.

  The shop owner wished her a happy Christmas, before locking the door behind her.

  Ellie spotted two familiar figures a few shops down near the end of the harbour. That coat was like a red rag to a bull. Liza and Aaron were standing together in a narrow alleyway. Liza was laden with shopping bags and Aaron had a parcel in his arms. Liza was laughing up at him.

  Ellie clapped her hand over her mouth. They’d obviously been Christmas shopping and looked extremely cosy together. In fact, they looked exactly like any married couple.

  Chapter Thirty-Five


  It was turning out to be the least festive Christmas Eve ever, thought Scarlett, tidying up the sitting room after the drama and tears of the night before. Ellie had gone to work and their mother had left early on a final present-buying trip. The house was quiet apart from the ticking of the grandfather clock and even the distant roar of surf seemed muted. For everyone’s sake, Scarlett had glossed over her troubles with Jude when she’d returned the previous evening. Mind you, she could tell that neither Ellie nor her mum were convinced; not with her face puffy and red, as if she’d swallowed a wasp.

  This morning, the awfulness of last night’s conversation had hit her again and she had itched to call Jude, but decided not to. She didn’t know what to say that she hadn’t said already. Half the time she was angry at his defensive overreaction, the other half annoyed with herself for triggering it with her insensitive comments.

  Nothing would be served by another row and no matter how shitty she was feeling, it was Christmas and she owed her family a smile and some effort. The sun was out so Scarlett forced herself to pull on her coat and get outside. She’d offered to make a special Christmas Eve dinner to cheer everyone up and decided to use foraged ingredients from the grounds, if possible.

  The fresh air, and focus on her task, did calm her down a little, although it had the double edge of reminding her of happier days with Jude. Gathering the vibrant green leaves, she was amazed that the world was still alive and offering its bounty in the midst of winter. She’d pulled a paper bag from her pocket to collect some sea beet when she heard the rustle of the undergrowth.

  Jude strode towards her in a reefer coat, a checked black and white scarf wound around his neck. He hadn’t shaved and was obviously exhausted. If he looked that bad, she dreaded to think how she appeared after her restless night.