The Pride of Howard County

by Kevin Bachman

  Chapter 23

  One day a few snow flurries flittered through the air causing great alarm. Winter is a hard time in central Missouri. Zero degree temperatures and many inches of snow and ice can bring about calamity if one is not prepared. The deer and turkey spend the Autumn gorging themselves on freshly fallen acorns, putting on layers of fat. The groundhogs, raccoons, skunks, squirrels and badgers all spend their afternoons excavating winter homes, lining them with insulating leaves and grass. Many of the finches that had visited John’s bird feeder all summer had retreated for their winter homes in Mexico.

  One relatively warm day Gus went out and painted Graces white picket fence and of course it made him sad and he came very close to taking it down. Seemed the only purpose it was now serving was a constant reminder of the painful past. He’d leave it up for now but decided it had been re-painted for the last time.

  The two farmers took a stock trailer of yearling calves to the sale barn. It would be better to sell them now rather than to feed them all Winter. Gus didn’t get the price he wanted but he was somewhat expecting that due to the fact all the other cattlemen in the area had the same plan.

  There had been some autumn rain that slowed down the planting of the winter wheat but finally John got it all in the ground. After a few weeks of Indian summer warmth, winter made her grand appearance with a blast of bone chilling cold. John thought he was going to freeze to death until he watched Gus go about his business as if it were some balmy day in June. So, determined to not let Gus see him show any weakness he acted as if he were unaffected by the cold. Eventually, he actually found himself enjoying the cold weather.

  There was a whole new atmosphere about the farm. Things had slowed down to a methodical pace of staying busy to keep from getting too cold and more time to do things like catch up on some reading or playing around on the Internet.There was time for the two friends to have an extra couple of cups of coffee and talk of farming strategies of the future. They studied the commodities market, watched the farm report on TV and began to come up with a plan for spring even though they were in for a long cold winter. Gus was most pleased with John’s enthusiasm he’d shown for farming and he reveled in answering the young man’s questions.

  One Saturday evening in mid December Gus, John, and Terry decided to go into town. They all had rib-eyes and baked potato’s smothered in butter and sour cream at the Bull Pen Café. After dinner they drank coffee and enjoyed the restaurant full of people. People watching is something most farmers love to do. Living on a farm is essentially a self imposed isolation that makes trips to town a special event. Sitting in a restaurant full of people is a rare treat and clandestinely eaves-dropping on the conversations at the neighboring tables becomes a social skill adopted by many farmers.

  A young couple was intently engaged in a conversation while they held hands across the table while an older couple at the next table hardly spoke at all. Four young men sitting in the corner drinking pitchers of beer became louder by the pitcher. The wait staff scurried about the place doing their jobs while the boss roamed from table to table being obnoxiously friendly. A table would scarcely be empty but a matter of a few seconds before the bus boy appeared out of nowhere. A couple of middle aged women seemed to share a conversation of extreme importance while a pair of businessmen took turns scratching down notes on pads of paper and the whole town was decked out in Christmas.

  After their second cup of after dinner coffee the trio decided it was time to move on. As they were making their way across the parking lot toward the truck Gus surprised John and Terry by proposing to them they stop by the Honkie Tonk for a beer. It was a festive time of the year and celebration was in the air.

  As usual the parking lot was filled with Ford, Chevy and Dodge pickup trucks. They paid the cover and found a table. John was praying he wouldn’t have to dance tonight but thought it would be fun to set Terry up. Sitting in a country western bar was a little bit awkward for both John and Terry but watching Gus enjoy himself was worth it. When the waitress came by the table the old guy ordered a Budweiser while John and Terry both ordered club sodas. After Gus drank his second Bud he was up roving about the place. John figured he’d be out on the dance floor any minute.

  The two younger fellas looked at one another a few times and couldn’t help but to bust out laughing about this entire situation.

  Gus returned to the table a couple of times to make sure everyone was having a good time. They assured him they were. Finally, Gus suggested they get the hell out of there and the three men made their way through the crowd and out of the bar. John found it strangely odd that he actually was kinda looking forward to doing some boot scootin and was disappointed he hadn’t seen Doris.

  They all climbed into the truck with John behind the wheel, he turned the key and the F-250 diesel came to life. Pulling out of the parking lot John had begun navigating his way out of town when Gus, fueled in part by the Budweiser’s asked an unusual question.

  “Where is your guy’s bar?” John and Terry looked at one another with puzzled faces and then both looked at Gus blankly.

  Gus said, “Oh come on, I may be old but I ain’t stupid.”

  John was the one who spoke next and asked, “You mean the gay bar?”

  Gus made an expression and rolled his head like he was dealing with a couple of idiots. John then regained his footing and decided to fight fire with fire, whipping a U-turn, John was about to take Gus to his first gay bar.

  “Ya ain’t scared are ya?” John chided as he parked the truck. Terry sat there with a knot in his stomach silently wondering if this was a good idea. John continued, “One of them big ole gay guys might kick your ass.” Gus just mumbled, “Mm huh.”

  The bar was in a scarcely marked building in the old business district part of town. Had it not been for the one small neon beer sign in the window one would have never known it was ever there.

  The knot in Terry’s stomach was getting bigger by the second as John parked the truck across the street from the bar. As they walked across the street towards the neon sign John and Terry exchanged nervous glances followed by nervous smiles. When they left the dark street and stepped into the bar it was as if leaving one world and entering another. A karaoke singer was singing an old Elton John song and couldn’t have sounded worse had he tried. Laughter rose to the ceiling. The place wasn’t exactly crowded but a pretty good crowd for a Saturday night. A smoke covered disco ball left over from the seventies hung from the ceiling sending twinkles of light throughout the bar. The crowd was mostly men although there was one table of women next to the empty dance floor.

  As Gus looked around the bar he saw normal looking people out on a Saturday night having a good time. John and Terry felt a little uneasy when the bartender called them by name and asked, “What’ll it be tonight guys?” John ordered Gus a beer and a couple of Sprites for him and Terry.

  Just when things were going pretty well, a karaoke singer began to sing an old Mickey Gilley song and just like that four couples were out on the dance floor doing some two stepping. John snuck a look at Gus and cringed a little when he couldn’t help but to see the bewildered look on Gus’s face as he watched the two steppers. Unknown to John, the bewildered look on Gus’s face was due mainly to how well these men had perfected the art of two stepping.

  The old farmer had been to church services where the preachers railed against homosexuality. He’d read in magazines and the newspapers both sides of the debates that raged on and on. Whether gays should have the right to marry or whether it was a deviant lifestyle that should be rejected. Whether it’s something someone is born with or whether it’s a choice. Gus realized he’d never really given the matter a whole lot of thought.

  Gus spotted his barber standing over at the other end of the bar talking to a couple of men he’d never seen before. Gus reasoned this man had been cutting his hair for years and he considered him a friend so why should this make any difference. His barber nervously smiled and wav
ed when he noticed Gus standing over by the door. Gus pointed a friendly finger at him and winked much to his barber’s relief.

  They hung around long enough for Gus to drink most of his beer when John then suggested they get on home.

  The three made their way out of the bar and back out onto the dark sidewalk under the old downtown streetlights. Gus joked how he’d never seen anything like that and they all got a laugh out of that.

  Just as they were about to get into the truck a car came up the street with four young men it. They had been out for a night of joy riding and drinking. As they passed by the passenger rolled his window down and yelled out, “Faggot,” then cruel laughter from inside the car pierced the night air as they sped away. Gus was not a man to anger easily but such rudeness was not something he could or would tolerate. The old bar brawler mentality rose forth from within as he stood out there in the middle of the street like a gun fighter, his cane raised in the air. Gus’s voice boomed like a bullhorn as he yelled, “Come back here you little sons-a-bitches!” The car rounded the corner and disappeared into the cold silent night.

  When Gus made it back to the truck John and Terry were already seated inside. Gus Climbed up into the cab still cursing under his breath to find John seated behind the wheel with his head down on the steering wheel and he appeared to be somewhat unsettled. Terry was silently sitting in the middle looking straight ahead through the windshield.

  Gus was confused about this latest development as he said, “Oh hell, I wasn’t going to hurt the little bastards.” The silence was even louder.

  The old man spoke again, “Okay, what is it?” John managed to say it wasn’t anything and had almost composed himself as he started the truck. Gus reached over and turned the key off and asked the same question again. Terry continued to sit silently as he was just about as confused about this whole thing as Gus was. A second wave of emotion caught even John by surprise as he was now feeling pretty silly. John’s nose was running and he kept wiping it on his sleeve. After John realized he was already in too deep and would have to answer for this now embarrassing show of emotion, he tried again the tactic of saying, “Oh, it’s nothing” but Gus wasn’t buying that.

  An emotional dam was about to burst as years of an agonizing silence going back to John’s earliest years. Images of his Dad refusing to acknowledge or have a relationship with his son danced in John’s head.

  Finally, almost in a whisper he said, “You took up for me.”

  There was some more silence as Gus gave some thought to what John had just said. There were now tears in Terry’s eyes as well as he began to understand what was going on. John had composed himself again and was looking out the driver’s side window into the black night.

  After a few long seconds the old farmer spoke, “Of course I took up for you, you’re my friend and I love you.”

  This was more than John could take as he burst into another round of blubbering. Terry was now wiping his nose on his sleeve.

  After what seemed like way too long Gus finally said,” Are we going to sit here and cry all night or can we get going?” John and Terry both burst out laughing, blowing bubbles with their runny noses. John wanted to tell the old man he loved him too but somehow it just didn’t seem like the right time.

  Within a few minutes they traded the pavement and lights of the city for the gravel roads and twinkling stars of the Howard County sky. It was a clear crisp December evening a few days before Christmas and it was one of those rare times when all was right with the world. There wasn’t much conversation on the way home; they just listened to old sad songs the DJ played on the Saturday night classic country radio show.

  When John pulled into the drive, Lucky and Muncie sounded the alarm that there were intruders on the farm and didn’t even seem to be embarrassed when they realized that they had made a mistake.

  The three men got out of the truck and stood in a circle for a few awkward seconds saying things like, “We’ll have to do this again sometime.”

  A silence fell onto the circle. Without really giving it much thought John followed his heart and found himself giving the old man a hug. He meant for it to be just a quick hug but it was Gus who wrapped his arms around John and pulled him close. Years of pain melted as the younger man laid his head on Gus’s shoulder. The older farmer then kissed him lightly on the cheek as if he were a child of his own.

  It was John who didn’t know how to react to such affection and he was glad for the cover of darkness to help cover his embarrassment. Yet, another layer of the past was peeled away that night and a new freedom began to bloom.

  Gus and Terry embraced briefly and slapped each other on the back. Gus turned and walked across the yard, up the steps onto the porch and finally into the house closing the door behind him and Lucky. John, Terry and Muncie stood in the farm yard under a million stars and watched the lights come on one by one inside the house. Through the kitchen window they watched as Lucky and Gus had some kind of conversation. And if to close another perfect day for Lucky, she got her bedtime snack of exactly two dog biscuits and a pat on the butt.