The Pride of Howard County

by Kevin Bachman

  Chapter 30

  It was a quiet truck ride to St. Louis. John and Terry had talked, ignored each other and talked some more until finally, the talking was over.

  Abby sat in the middle of the F-250 and fiddled with the radio. Terry looked out the passenger window and John steered the truck through the traffic.

  He had assured Terry and Abby he was coming back. It was just a visit; see some of his old friends. Get away for a while and do some thinking.

  It was one of the strangest trips any of them had ever been on.

  They piddled around in the airport, checked out the souvenir shop then had a sandwich and a coke. The normal things people do in airports.

  As his flight was finally boarding John found himself struggling to come up with anything to say. Looks of concern were on everyone’s face. John hugged Terry and then Abby; “I’ll call ya when I get there.” he reassured them. They watched him disappear into the tunnel and he then boarded the plane bound for La Guardia.

  Terry and Abby stood looking out the big window in the St. Louis airport and waited for John’s flight to take off. As it lifted off the runway, Terry took Abby’s hand into his own. Abby didn’t say anything, she didn’t look at Terry, she just stood there feeling tormented with emotions as she held onto his hand.

  And just like that, American Airlines flight 701 melted into the clouds. It carried a restless soul on a journey with no real destination. John was living his life; one day at a time, he had no other options.

  He looked out the window down at the patchwork of farms and thought of Gus and of Lucky, Muncie, and Moses and of course Terry and Abby. He had come so far, and he had been quite sure he never wanted to see New York again but now there was a mysterious tug pulling him back. It felt as if New York owned a part of his heart just as the farm in Howard County Missouri did. He couldn’t be sure what the future held for him, he would just have to have faith that everything would work out just as it was supposed to.

  John anxiously waited for the sky line of New York to come into view. As he left the airport and hailed a cab, he couldn’t help but remembering when he’d first arrived in New York. The excitement of those days came to his mind.

  It was a beautiful day In the Big Apple; everything was just as he remembered. People were out walking their little dogs, playing Frisbee in the park, young lovers lying on blankets scattered among the first of the orange and red leaves that had fallen from the trees.

  The cabbie dropped John off at his hotel in Chelsea and after getting settled he made a few phone calls. It was agreed among old friends to have a dinner in honor of John’s return to New York. Of course John’s friends wanted to hear all about what John was doing these days.

  A farm, they asked. You’re a farmer? You have a thousand acres?

  After dinner the group decided to go to a free concert down on the lower west end. After a crowded subway ride and then another they arrived at the free reggae concert in a small park near Greenwich Village.

  Well into the second hour John told the group he was really tired and was going to head on back to Chelsea and call it a night. They first tried to talk him into staying and then a couple of the guys asked him if he would like them to go with him but John assured them he’d be okay.

  John walked the streets of New York that night with a heavy heart and he didn’t really know why. It was just a flat feeling he couldn’t identify.

  By the time he’d gotten back to his hotel he decided it was too late to call Terry and Abby. He promised himself he’d call them first thing in the morning. Just a little while ago he was so tired he was sure he would fall fast asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow and yet he lay, tossing in that hotel bed wishing it was his own bed he laid.

  John thought of calling George. It would be so nice just to hear his voice.

  And then the soft voice of his angel from Georgia, the man he’d met on that sidewalk outside that church all those years ago began to speak his words of wisdom into John’s head. John then realized they were no longer George’s words but had become his own. In the early morning hours he melted into a deep sleep.

  Early the next morning John was on his way to a corner diner for breakfast when he looked up the side walk and there came an old man. He walked with a cane, slowly, but his shoulders were square and his head held high. On his head was a fifty dollar Stetson. As the two men faced one another on the sidewalk the old man looked John in the eye, smiled, then lowered his head out of politeness. And then, just as the two passed by one another a Howard County breeze blew through New York. And there, on a Manhattan sidewalk John discovered the inner man he’d searched for all his life.He turned to look at the old man but all he could see was a crowded New York sidewalk full of people in their morning rush to get to wherever it was they were going.

  As powerfully as anything he’d ever felt he now had no lingering doubt his place in this world was on a farm in Howard County.

  He suddenly felt a strange and deep emotion for a man who was now hundreds of miles away and an almost unbearable loneliness entombed him on that sidewalk. He dialed Terry’s number. As the phone was ringing it was revealed to him what he was feeling was love. A love, just exactly like the kind of love Gus and Grace had had.

  After they’d talked a while Terry put Abby on the phone. Tears streaked down John’s face causing stares from even harden New Yorker’s as they passed by. As John was talking to Abby, John realized how self centered he had become, this caused him a great shame and he told her he was sorry and he’d be home soon.

  He knew he’d have some explaining to do when he got home. He’d try, but some things ya just can’t explain. He would ask for forgiveness and understanding, he’d communicate his feelings and offer his amends to those he loved and to those who loved him.

  John realized on the plane ride home what he had felt was yet another form of fear and he only then remembered he’d been a runner all his life. When things got just a little uncomfortable, he’d run. And when things were going too well, he’d run before the other shoe had the chance to drop.

  This love of Terry’s and of Abby’s wasn’t something he was familiar with, he wasn’t equipped with the confidence it takes to be loved, and so before they had the chance to hurt him he ran back for familiar territory, this time it just happened to be New York, this was his nature.

  When John came down the ramp into the terminal he saw a red headed beauty wearing one of her mother’s sun dresses and a big floppy straw hat. She was smiling so big it lit up the whole airport.

  John and Terry paused for a second or two and then embraced one another.

  They walked out of the airport, the three of them, with their arms around each other.

  In a couple of hours they crossed the Piney and then turned into the drive, Lucky sounded the alarm and they were home at last.

  THE END