Return to Grace

by Bethany Surreira

  I laughed at the sight and took a seat as I smiled at the thought of being back in this old booth. It was the only booth in the whole place, and when I was little, Mrs. Kratz used to put a little reserved sign on it so my family could sit here to eat. How could I have left this place? It was becoming a recurring question in my mind.

  I stood up when I saw Mr. Kratz come bouncing out of the kitchen. He scooped me up before I was even fully out of my seat. I laughed as we said hello. His scruffy beard smelled of cinnamon and pine, and I giggled, noticing how much about him had not changed.

  “Sneaking some cookies again, I see,” I teased him, hugging him back tightly.

  “Oh, nothing gets past you,” he bellowed, his rosy cheeks scrunched up into little balls, and his eyes smiled wider than an ocean. He still looked like Santa, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he was.

  “Let me get these things out of your way so you can catch up with the missus. I have to head out for a bit to help deliver some trees, but I’ll catch you later, all right?” he stated and then kissed me on the top of my head and carried the bins into the back.

  I gazed out of the window with my chin in my hand and a crooked smile on the corner of my mouth. I spent the last seven years in the city that never sleeps, and yet, not once did I have the feelings there that I had when I was here. This was home.

  Mrs. Kratz approached, breaking me out of my trance and placing two cups of coffee and a plate of her famous cookies onto the table.

  “I won’t ask you how you’re doing because I’m sure that’s all you’ve been hearing since you got off that train. Why don’t you tell me everything you’ve been up to in the big city? Your mom was always coming in here bragging about how successful you were,” she told me.

  I sat there in shock. My mom, who I hadn’t spoken to since the day I left for college, was going around telling the people of Grace Valley how successful I had become?

  Not wanting to bring any negativity to Mrs. Kratz, I smiled and told her all about my job and the most recent deal with John. But even while singing of my accolades, I felt pain at the thought of going back to my job and apartment. Being home was harder than I had expected, but for a completely different reason. Maybe my mother had been right after all. If only I’d learned that sooner.

  11

  I said my goodbyes to Mrs. Kratz and spent the rest of the morning wandering through town, remembering things I seemed to block out for so many years. The ice skating rink was being set up. I really needed to dust off my old skates at least once before I left. I didn’t see anything other than the rink, and it was usually almost complete at this point. I wondered if the Christmas Festival was even happening this year. The only storefronts that were decorated for Christmas were the bakery and the flower shop.

  Thinking of how Mrs. Kratz told me my mother used to praise me had me missing her more than I ever thought possible. I guess a part of me always thought we would be fine again one day. But this situation never crossed my mind. I sat down on a bench and just stared for a while, sipping my coffee and feeling thankful that Mrs. Kratz had put it into a to-go cup for me.

  I closed my eyes, and memories of my childhood flooded my brain. For the first time in seven years, I was in no rush to shoo them away. Who knew when they would come back to me again? I hoped that if I thought about them long enough, they wouldn’t leave this time. Maybe I wouldn’t leave this time. Maybe I could work remotely and commute to the city once a week or every other week.

  I stopped outside of the small post office where I used to leave my letters to Santa and smiled when I saw a little girl drop her letter into the mailbox. The last time I had sent a letter to Santa was the Christmas right before I turned ten. I could vividly remember what the letter looked like, from the holly leaves and Christmas tree, all the way down to the lopsided Rudolph I had drawn on the back of the envelope. It had been addressed to Mr. Santa Claus, The North Pole. I smiled at my childhood innocence, remembering what I had written and happy the mailman gave it back to my mom to save for me.

  Dear Santa,

  I know you get a lot of letters every day, from tons of kids out there just like me. This year, I only want one thing for Christmas, and that is a baby brother or sister. I’m almost ten and I think I’m old enough to be able to help my parents take care of him or her so they don’t have to do it all by themselves. I really think I could be a great big sister! I hope you and Mrs. Claus have a great holiday.

  Sincerely,

  Leah Abernathy, age nine (almost ten)

  A sibling was the only gift I had ever asked for that I never received. Coincidentally, that was the year I stopped believing in Santa. I hadn’t asked for much, and I knew my parents would never deprive me of anything. Okay, so maybe I was a bit of a brat at that age and hadn’t realized it.

  It wasn’t until I was in high school that I had asked my mother why she never had any other children. She sat me down and calmly explained I was their miracle baby. They tried several times after I was born to have more children, but all of her pregnancies had failed.

  “Don’t you worry, my sweet girl,” Mom had said. “I don’t need anyone but you. I’m not missing anything in this life. You are my world.”

  I wiped a tear from my eye. What had I done? I wasted seven years being angry for something so stupid, and now I’d never get to tell her I was sorry. As I stood up and grabbed my purse, I saw Becky across the street, putting out a new sign in front of her flower shop.

  “Becky,” I called, waving my arm in the air and—again—almost spilling my coffee. I really needed to be more careful.

  “Leah! Come on over here and give me a hug, girl,” Becky called back, a huge smile forming on her face.

  I ran across the street and hugged her tightly before following her into the shop. The bell chimed when the door closed behind me and it caused me to jump. I guess I was a little on edge. It was still early in the day, and The Flower Pot didn’t usually get busy until closer to noon, so we had plenty of time to chat without interruption.

  Straight ahead sat the register with boxes of chocolate artfully arranged on one end of the counter. On the opposite end was a small crystal vase with a single, red silk rose. Becky’s husband had given it to her on their wedding day as a symbol of their love. “A silk rose never dies and neither will my love for you,” he had told her that day.

  Ugh, what a sap! I was still jealous, though.

  I was their flower girl, and my mother was Becky’s matron of honor. I always dreamed of having a wedding like Becky and Dooley’s, but now I wasn’t so sure. With Josh out of the picture and Caleb clearly involved with someone else, my romantic future didn’t look so bright. I shouldn’t be complaining, though. I did this to myself.

  Behind the counter stood five refrigerators that held buckets of flowers ranging from singles to beautiful bouquets. To the left was the door to Becky’s office where I used to spend hours coloring during the afternoons my mom had staff meetings or conferences. It was better than hanging out at my dad’s grocery store. To the right of the refrigerators was the door to the back room where all the magic happened. And by magic, I mean pricking my fingers hundreds of times with the rose thorns. I rubbed them together remembering how badly it would hurt.

  Rustic wooden shelving lined the walls along the right side of the shop. The rows were full of candles made by Jackie. I thought it was amazing that an eighteen-year-old already knew her passion and had the savvy business sense to put it to use at that young of an age. I noticed a new addition to the shop sitting next to the candles.

  “Pottery?” I asked Becky, looking at the adorable clay pots and vases. They were all so beautiful.

  “Your mom made those,” she said softly with the slightest smile. “She took an adult education class at the community college and fell in love with it. She asked if we could sell them here, the profits going to a graduating senior in need of help with college tuition.”

  That didn’t surprise me one bit. She always t
ried to brighten other people’s day.

  “Wow, that’s incredible. I never knew she was so talented. Or, that she was ever interested in pottery to begin with. I feel so out of touch.” I turned around to find a place to sit. And to hide the tears that were fighting to sneak out of my eyes.

  Becky had created an adorable little sitting area—small but comfortable. Two metal tables, each with matching chairs that had flowers and leaves crawling up the legs, were perched in front of me. A little coffee bar was nuzzled into the corner with a single-serve coffee maker, a few mugs, and a variety of flavored coffee. There was a sign that readd, “Milk and creamer are in the left fridge. Help yourself!”

  “Have a seat, love. Top off your coffee if you’d like.” Becky pointed to the chairs. I shook my head as I settled into a chair. I’d had enough coffee already.

  “Becky? I just left Mrs. Kratz and I’m not okay. I feel like I’ve ruined so much and now I’ll never have the chance to fix it. And on top of all that, Josh and I broke up, my boss is ignoring my efforts to contact him, and I quite literally bumped into Caleb at the train station and then saw him walking out with a supermodel redhead. Why did I even come back here?”

  Having finished my rant, I burst into tears.

  Becky reached her hand across the table to hold mine. We sat there in silence for a few minutes, knowing that each other’s company was what we needed most in that moment.

  “Leah, listen to me carefully. None of this is your fault. Things happen all the time that are beyond our control, and while you may not be able to understand it all right now, there will come a time when it all makes sense. I don’t want to say everything happens for a reason, but there is a reason behind everything that happens. You’re here because we need you here and because, quite simply, you need to be here,” she told me. Becky had a way of being firm and maternal at the same time.

  She reminded me so much of my mom. No wonder they were best friends.

  I was about to respond to Becky when the door to The Flower Pot flew open, allowing a rush of cold air in. Shivering, I looked over my shoulder and saw the woman that was with Caleb the day before. Her fiery red hair hung in loose curls down her back. She was not dressed for the weather, so I assumed she wasn’t from around here.

  My jaw dropped and I almost stood up and ran out of the shop. This could not be happening.

  “Hey, y’all,” she said cheerily, a thick southern twang erupting from her mouth. “I need a fresh bouquet for the kitchen table. And a vase if you’ve got one.”

  Becky stood up and pursed her lips together, her eyes widening when she looked down at me. It was clear she hadn’t seen this woman before, but judging from her reaction, she had just put two and two together on who she was. She furrowed her brows in confusion, but I didn’t change the expression on my face. Then she walked over to the redhead and smiled politely.

  “Hi, there! I’m Becky and I own The Flower Pot. I’d be happy to help you. Do you have a preference on which flowers you’d like for the bouquet?” she asked, leading her toward the options behind the counter.

  I stared at her, judging. I couldn’t understand what Caleb saw in her. Except for the fact that she was drop dead gorgeous with a perfect figure, perfect hair, and perfect skin. Okay, so I got why he was into her. But she was the complete opposite of me, with her long, lean legs and muscular upper body. Tennis player, probably.

  “Anything really. I’m not picky. No roses, tulips, or lilies though. I just need to have fresh flowers near me, or I can’t get any work done.”

  “Oh, what type of work do you do?” Becky asked her.

  “I’m an interior designer,” she said, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “Luckily, I can work remotely when I’m not in my office. I’m hoping this trip is short so I can get back to Tennessee. This weather isn’t my cup of tea. Flowers make me feel like I’m back home working near my garden. It’s much nicer there, you know. Home.”

  “How about one of my winter bouquets? They come with a vase, and I can put them in a box for you so they won’t spill as you carry them. Or, I can have them delivered to you at no extra charge. Mind if I ask where you’re staying? This is a small town so I probably know the location.”

  “That’s perfect! Thank you.” She giggled and took out her wallet. She handed Becky a twenty-dollar bill and told her to keep the change. “I’m staying at the Patterson’s house on Waverly. Are you familiar?”

  Becky’s eyes darted across the room and focused on mine like daggers. She was now one hundred percent certain who this woman was.

  “Yes, I know them well. I will have them delivered by the end of business today.”

  “Wonderful,” the red head exclaimed. “Have a wonderful day.”

  I couldn’t help but stare the woman down as she turned and ferociously made her way out of the shop. Her perfectly-manicured hand slid across the bar on the door and that was when I saw it. The huge rock sparkled in the sunlight, and I had never wished more for a cloudy day.

  “Becky, I gotta go,” I said, rushing to the door. “I think I’m gonna be sick.”

  12

  I grabbed my coat and purse and said my goodbyes to Becky. I needed to get out of there—and fast. Luckily, I was able to blame my emotions on the death of my mother, which made it easier to conceal the feelings I still had for Caleb. I didn’t know what to make of those.

  I made my way down a short alley on the side of The Flower Pot which led to the other side of the meadow, eventually opening up to the main road. The complete opposite direction of my house.

  Instead of thinking about Caleb, thoughts of my mother consumed me. I cried openly as I walked, remembering a time when I was a little girl. I woke up early one morning and crept into my parents’ room. My dad had already left for the store to do month-end inventory, and when I crawled up into their bed, my mom smiled and wrapped her arms around me, pulling me in close. She smelled like vanilla and home.

  “Good morning, peanut,” Mom had said to me, gently tucking my hair behind my ear and kissing my nose.

  I lived for mornings like those as a child. I’d kill for one of those moments now. Even though I didn’t have any siblings, and always had my parents to myself, those calm and unrushed moments were few and far between. Someone always had something to do and somewhere to be, so we took full advantage when it happened.

  We had spent all morning in bed eating pancakes, waffles, and strawberries; my most requested breakfast at that point in my young life. We watched hours of television, laughing and snuggling with each other. We hadn’t even gotten out of bed until noon, when my dad had come home from the store for lunch. He laughed and hopped into bed with us, hanging out for a bit before taking our lunch order.

  I wiped my tears away with the end of my scarf, trying to compose myself as I approached the school where my mother had taught. I scoffed at how different Grace Valley was from the city. There were more people employed in the travel agency where I worked than there were in the entire Grace Valley school system. In fact, the town was so small that there was only one school. Half of the building housed the students in kindergarten through grade six, and the other half held the seventh through twelfth graders.

  I slowly walked through the parking lot, noticing that the playground had undergone quite the upgrade. There used to sit two swings, a seesaw, a slide, and monkey bars. Now, there was a massive climbing structure and two long rows of four swings each. Across from the playscape used to be a little field to run around in, but they must have knocked down a couple dozen trees because there was now a soccer field, basketball court, and a smaller open field.

  “Leah, is that you?” I heard someone call.

  I looked around the parking lot until my eyes landed on Mr. Palmer. I was shocked at how much he had changed. I wouldn’t have even known it was him except for the fact that he was standing at his car, which was parked in the reserved spot for “Principal.” His once skinny frame was now pudgy, and you could almost see his bel
t begging to be unbuckled. His once clean-shaven face now had a full beard including mustache. And his hair was balding at the crown. I made my way over to him, smiling but a bit nervous to see yet another familiar face.

  “Hello, Principal Palmer. Yes, it’s me. How are you?” I replied, unsure if being at the school during a vacation was permitted.

  “Please, call me Bill. There’s no need for formalities anymore,” he said with a soft smile. “I am well, thank you. Marina and I have been thinking about you and Paul. We are beside ourselves with the news of your mom. She was one of a kind, as you know.”

  I closed my eyes briefly and nodded, letting out a shallow breath before I spoke. I wasn’t ready for all the faces I would see that would be honoring my mother in such kind ways.

  “Thank you so much. We’re doing okay. As expected, I suppose. I’m not too sure it’s all sunk in yet, you know? One minute she was here and then the next…” I couldn’t get the rest of the sentence out.

  Bill tossed his briefcase into the open passenger side of his car and held his arms out to me. Before I knew it, I fell into them and cried on his shoulder. I had known the Palmers since I was born, and although this was new territory for me, I oddly felt a safeness to his comfort. He held me until I was ready to come back to the world, and I was grateful.

  “Marina is going to be meeting me here in about twenty minutes with lunch. Would you like to stay and have a bite to eat with us? We’re going to be discussing the final arrangements for the festival. You’re more than welcome to relax here if you’d like,” he offered, and I kindly accepted, even though I wasn’t sure I really wanted to.

  I followed Bill into the school and down the long hallway to his office. I’d been here many times before but never to just sit and relax. It felt strange to be in the school again after graduating, especially while my mother was no longer there. He motioned for me to sit down at a little table in the back corner of his office and I obliged, looking out his window and into the school’s courtyard. I smiled as I remembered taking my senior superlative pictures in that very courtyard years ago. Caleb and I had sat on the bench under the small tree, holding hands and smiling. We were voted Class Couple. Ha… If only they could see us now.