The Combat Baker and Automaton Waitress: Volume 3

by SOW

  “Uh... ahem... You know... Wa ha ha ha!”

  Although Daian complained that he was bored, he actually had work to do. At least there was a mountain of work for the Weapons Development Bureau to do. But, most of it consisted of requests for low-cost weapons development, such as weapons that are easy to mass produce, weapons with simple maintenance, and ideas for upgrading older weapons.

  “All I get is boring work! You know what I mean? I want to make weapons of mass destruction that go off with earth-shattering booms! But I only get to make incy-wincy things! Which makes me want to do the Bored Dance! But... um... maybe not. Sorry.”

  As Sophia glared silently at Daian, his voice faded. The idea of deriving pleasure from massacre would only anger Sophia, who was a proud soldier. Due to their respective ranks, she would never physically assault Daian, but her animosity was understandable. At least, that was her usual attitude...

  “Tee-hee-hee-hee! You’re such a jokester, Director!”

  “Huh?”

  Sophia was laughing. Her eyes were angry, but they were crinkled at the corners, and the edges of her mouth were lifted in tense laughter. However, she wasn’t so much laughing as desperately trying to replace anger with joviality through willpower and muscle control.

  “Sophia, what’s wrong?”

  Daian realized he had taken a step back.

  “What’s wrong? Ha ha ha ha... Nothing, Director. You sure do say the darnedest things!”

  “No, you’re not the same at all...”

  Daian, who always moved at his own pace and who wouldn’t even bow to the monarch unless a ceremonial official demanded it, was breaking out in a cold sweat.

  “As for that invitation you offered yesterday...”

  “Invitation? Oh... that?!”

  Last night, Daian had asked Sophia out on a date, and had reserved a table at one of the most expensive restaurants in Berun. She had refused before he could even finish asking if she would like to come.

  “I gave it careful consideration, and if it’s not too late, I would like to join you.”

  “Huh?!”

  Daian backed away again. This time, he took two steps back. Sophia always refused his invitations, but now she was accepting? This couldn’t be happening.

  “Have you caught some awful disease?”

  “Whatta you mean, you jerk?!”

  “Now there’s the Sophia I know!”

  Daian was relieved to see Sophia react as usual by yelling in response to his bluntness.

  “Anyway! That’s that! I’ll be looking forward to it! Tee-hee!”

  Sophia used her muscles to force another smile and quickly left the office, as if to say, “I can’t stand it a moment longer!”

  “Sophia... Maybe I teased her too much and drove her crazy.”

  Daian was alone, tilting his head in confusion.

  “Arrrgh! I can’t do this!!”

  After leaving the director’s office and checking to make sure that she had walked far enough down the hall, Sophia shouted in anger.

  “Why me? Why do I have to do this?”

  She sat down, holding her head. Then she replayed her conversation with Elvin a few hours ago.

  “The Schutzstaffel wants Daian? To expand their faction?”

  “Yes. They already have control of the aristocrats and royal family, and now they want to bring in the Royal Weapons Development Bureau.” Elvin solemnly answered Sophia’s question.

  The Royal Weapons Development Bureau was not just one division of the military. It was largely under the jurisdiction of the regular army, but since it had “Royal” in its name, it was a highly independent organization ultimately serving only the monarch. Therefore, the military could only assign Sophia as a guard to keep an eye on it.

  At this point, the military still couldn’t determine what kind of research Daian was doing.

  “It would be a problem if the Weapons Development Bureau began serving the Schutzstaffel. In the name of protecting the royal capital, not only could they deploy new weapons... they could monopolize them.”

  And there was even more to fear.

  “Even worse is that the Bureau is like a hen that lays golden eggs. New technology makes money. If they have the patents, they can collect money from all over the world. And once they have authority and wealth, power will pour in. Wiltia will be under Genitz’s thumb.”

  Weapons are the culmination of any era’s technology. New technology created with enormous money, time and labor will make a massive fortune.

  The reason Wiltia, which once had scant territory and natural resources, could compete with great nations like Greyten and August was because of its new technologies.

  “Yes, but...”

  “What?”

  Sophia could understand Elvin’s fear. If he were right, the worst would come to pass. But for Sophia, it seemed an unrealistic outcome for one specific reason.

  “I can’t imagine that a well-known monster like Daian Fortuner would work for Genitz. Daian has no interest in such power games.”

  To be exact, Daian wasn’t interested in anything unless it satisfied his intellectual curiosity. He would never get along with a power-oriented individual like Genitz. In fact, rumor had it that their relationship was quite ugly.

  “Surely the North Star has more chance of falling than they have of chatting and playing chess together on holiday.”

  But Elvin wasn’t smiling.

  “At the same time, don’t forget that they’re both the type of person who will stop at nothing to achieve their goals. Genitz will work with any monster for his own benefit. And so would Daian.”

  “What would Genitz offer to obtain Daian?”

  “Daian is bored, right?”

  “Oh!”

  Suddenly, Sophia understood the problem.

  “I see now... The development budget!”

  “That’s it exactly.”

  After the Great War, Wiltia’s territory had expanded. The regular military had to scatter soldiers across broader territory but with reduced funding and manpower, so the money available was much smaller than during wartime.

  In fact, the requests Daian received for development were for small-budget projects. They couldn’t satisfy Daian’s curiosity. To him, they were boring. But the Schutzstaffel only existed at central, including the royal capital, and had more money to spend than the regular army. So if it were to contact Daian...

  “That man would do anything. It doesn’t matter how much he hates Genitz. He’d hum while he shook hands with him. Daian is that kind of man.”

  Sophia hated Daian. They were instinctively and psychologically at odds. But Sophia was a rational military woman. She worked hard to understand him rationally and had figured out how to deal with him. But she hated Daian rationally, too. Sophia knew him well and believed he was capable of anything.

  “In order to keep that man on our side, we need money. But our budget is limited, so we need to find a sponsor.”

  Elvin heaved a gloomy sigh. He was from the commoner class. Even after he became a marshal, he followed a hands-on policy according to which you didn’t know war unless you were on the front line. The work of managing money would never sit well with him. However, this could simply be the new shape of war in a time of peace.

  “I have the chance to negotiate with a certain big player. If we could win him to our side, we might get enough money to satisfy Daian, but that chance won’t arrive for another month.”

  The fate, not just of Wiltia, but of the whole world, rested on an event one month in the future.

  “Until then, we must prevent Daian from going to the Schutzstaffel. But given our tight financial circumstances, we have little candy to offer him. To be honest, there’s only one thing.”

  “Only one? What is it?”

  Something existed that would make Daian think it was worth his while to stay with the regular army rather than join the Schutzstaffel. Sophia was surprised to learn that such a thing existed. />
  “..................”

  “What?”

  Instead of answering, Elvin stared at her, giving Sophia an awful sense of foreboding and causing her to scrunch up her mouth.

  “Please!”

  “Hold on a sec! Me?!”

  “There’s no one else in all the military or even all of Wiltia. You’re the only human being in whom he has shown a personal interest.”

  The army had sent various personnel to “guard” Daian. Those sent had included elites and self-made men, former scholars and artists, and men and women of varying ages. Most of them, however, had fled after an average of one week, with the longest lasting just under a month. The shortest tenure had only been two hours. That person had left soon after reporting, “He’s nicer than I thought, so I think I can handle this.”

  “By putting up with Daian for more than a year, you have set a new world record!”

  “Still, what do you expect me to do? Surely, you’re not suggesting...”

  Daian was a man and Sophia was a woman.

  “Well, that would be the quickest way.”

  “Marshal!!!”

  Sophia yelled. She couldn’t forgive him even though he was her highest superior officer and a great hero.

  “I know, I know! I can’t ask that much of you. Everyone has natural inclinations, so I wouldn’t normally ask this of someone who was reluctant or already in love with someone else.”

  “What...?!”

  At Elvin’s surprising words, Sophia forgot her anger and froze.

  “Wh-What are you saying, Marshal?”

  “Hm? Oh, nothing.”

  Elvin theatrically feigned innocence. Not long ago, he had mentioned the Defairedead. It had been important, but it was hard to imagine that the supreme commander knew all the details. Besides, there was no way he could know about the man who was involved in that incident but had never come to light.

  “I have nothing to say about what you think of a certain baker.”

  “How do you know about... No, never mind.”

  People think war heroes are unrivaled men who brandish pikes and swords, but that’s only one aspect of heroism. War heroes are also men who collect all manner of information, plan from a comprehensive point of view, assign troops effectively, and issue appropriate orders.

  And Elvin was a hero among heroes.

  “I’m not telling you to use a woman’s weapons. But for one month, try to draw Daian’s attention. You may do that however you please. I beseech you.”

  “Urgh...”

  She understood the problem and surrounding circumstances. Nonetheless, as a soldier, she could have wept.

  “Don’t make such a face. Despite being considered a great hero of the strongest nation in the world, I feel pathetic for having to adopt such means. In exchange, I’ll never forget that I owe you for this, and I promise to pay you back.”

  After saying this, Elvin turned around, his face serious.

  How persuasive he is...

  Elvin was a marshal and Sophia was a major. And in the military, rank was absolute. If Elvin shouted at Sophia to stop grumbling because it was an order, then she must obey. But Elvin had said please and promised to pay her back. But, it wouldn’t matter if he never did. He had taken a soldier’s discomfort into consideration. Many soldiers were vulnerable to such superior officers.

  “I understand and will undertake the mission.”

  Sophia agreed, realizing that his powers of persuasion were one reason that hundreds of thousands of soldiers called Elvin “the old man” and revered him as a hero.

  “I know this is for the nation and for the military and that it’s my duty as a soldier, but... yuck!!!”

  In order to keep Daian on her side, Sophia was trying to be a little kinder, but it made her skin crawl. Disconsolate, Sophia held her head and groaned.

  “It seems the wind has shifted in a weird direction.”

  Daian was sitting on a chair in his office and observing Sophia’s image on a small vid unit in his desk.

  The Weapons Development Bureau was his lair.

  He had eyes and ears everywhere.

  Vid units were originally developed for use in the cockpits of Hunter Units, but Daian had adapted them for his own use.

  “Indeed, being a soldier is hard work... I hope I’m not a soldier in my next life!”

  Daian snickered. He was not just a genius in technological development. He was highly intelligent when it came to grasping the motivation behind human activity and understood the general situation based on Sophia’s abnormal behavior.

  “What should I do? I have no loyalty to the regular military, but I would feel badly about ruining Sophia’s hard work.”

  He was only interested in things that satisfied his intellectual curiosity. Sophia, however, was a rare exception. When around her, his thoughts came alive and his powers of speculation accelerated. Yes... For him, she was like his favorite brand of coffee.

  “Are you there, Rebecca?”

  He spoke softly and there appeared to be no one else in the room. After a moment, a girl stood behind him.

  “Oh... it’s you. Where’s Rebecca?”

  “Rebecca is not here. She is on a mission.”

  “Oh, that’s right.”

  Rebecca was the red-headed humanoid Hunter Unit who was his assistant. Daian clapped his hands upon remembering that she was performing a mission he had assigned.

  “Oh well... In that case, I’ll just see how things go for Sophia’s sake. For one month.”

  Daian spoke quietly, but the girl who was Rebecca’s replacement did not reply. There was no way to know from her red eyes whether she had heard him, or whether she understood.

  Chapter 2: Encounter in Saupunkt

  Saupunkt was the town next to Organbaelz. It was in the countryside too, but since it was closer to a main road, it was slightly more urban than its neighbors. Sven and Jacob were standing on the corner of the town’s main thoroughfare.

  “Well, let’s begin!”

  Sven rolled up her sleeves with a determined sniff.

  “Is this why you wanted my help? Well, I guess it wouldn’t be possible for Lud, and Milly isn’t ready to work outside the shop.” Jacob laughed as he said this.

  The two were visiting Saupunkt on a Tockerbrot business trip for sales and recon-in-force. In other words, this was a trial sales run. It didn’t matter how good their product might be. If it didn’t sell, it didn’t sell.

  The reasons might vary, from demographics to current trends to competition. In order to obtain the data they needed, Sven decided to set up a simple stand on the street corner in Saupunkt and sell their baked goods. As Jacob had suggested, however, Lud’s scary mien would frighten away customers, which was a totally different problem than whether their products would sell. So Sven had asked Jacob to help her with sales.

  “Did you bring change?”

  “Here. I exchanged bills at the bank.”

  “And these are the paper bags? Oh, we need to put brochures in them.”

  “Yeah. Our customers today might come visit us in Organbaelz.”

  They set about their preparations briskly.

  “Jacob, you’ve really got business sense.” Sven spoke with sudden realization.

  “Really? But this isn’t such a big deal.”

  “Jacob, how old are you?”

  “Um, I’ll be 11 years old soon.”

  “You seem older than that.”

  The Tockerbrot workers were all quirky characters—Lud was a veteran and Sven was a Hunter Unit—so they didn’t notice how unusual Jacob was. He was so dependable that the word mature didn’t do him justice.

  “Thanks for your help. Now, let’s get cracking!”

  Sven inhaled sharply. There was no biological reason for her to take a deep breath. She didn’t need to inhale oxygen. Sven was a machine, but a machine with feelings. She was psyching herself up.

  “Hi, everyone! It’s nice to meet you! I’m Sven fr
om Tockerbrot, a bakery in Organbaelz!”

  Her beautiful voice was clear and firm, but innocent. Even though she hadn’t shouted, everyone walking along the street stopped and looked over.

  People say that professional stage actors can project their voices to sound as if they are speaking to each member of the audience individually. Sven had just accomplished this. The pedestrians all turned toward her.

  Nonetheless, she didn’t continue speaking right away. She took enough time for everyone to notice her: the girl with silver hair and red eyes who was as beautiful as a fairy. When the tension reached its peak, she flashed her lovely smile.

  “Today, we’re here to greet the people of Saupunkt! We pride ourselves on our bread, so please come take a look and have a taste!”

  Her voice washed over the people like waves over a sandy beach.

  Sven, a humanoid Hunter Unit, was made for espionage—against the will of her creator, Daian. She had been designed to infiltrate enemy nations, especially hostile military forces, earn their trust, gather information, and—if necessary—assassinate targets in their sleep. If Sven so desired, it was nothing for her to win over ten or twenty average citizens in an instant.

  “I think I’ll check it out.”

  The first person to approach them was a young man.

  “Hmm... The bakery from the neighboring town? I’ve heard of it.”

  Next was a young woman.

  “Huh? Huh? What’ve you got?”

  After that came children. In situations like this, housewives are surprisingly calm.

  “Oh my! Those look scrumptious! What are they called?”

  Once she attracted the housewives, Sven knew she had successfully completed her mission.

  “Yes. This is pineapple bread, one of our original confections! There isn’t any pineapple inside, but the pattern on it resembles the fruit! Tee-hee!”

  She was bright, cheerful and charming with men and women of all ages.

  “Sven is truly impressive!” Jacob mumbled this to himself as he bagged bread and handed it to one customer after another.

  The bread Lud sold at Tockerbrot was delicious. There was no mistake about that. But good products don’t necessarily sell. The price of bread is only a coin or two, so instead of opening their wallets wide, Sven just needed to unlock them a little. Doing that, however, was hard work.