The Way We Are

by Shandi Boyes

  The closer Axel’s car charges toward us, the paler Savannah’s face becomes. I can’t hear a word she's shouting, but her lips are moving a million miles an hour.

  When Axel fails to acknowledge her concerns, her fists take up her campaign. She pounds her balled hands on his arm four times before leaning over to yank on his steering wheel.

  It feels like an arrow is shot through my heart when her abrupt jerk of the steering wheel causes Axel’s car to fishtail in the loose gravel. Dust kicks up around us, hindering my vision of his car weaving uncontrollably on the dusty road.

  In a state of panic, Axel slams his foot onto the accelerator instead of the brake, sending his expensive deathtrap charging toward the thin barricade separating the roadside from the cliff’s edge.

  “No, no, no, no, no,” I scream in my head on repeat.

  The front fender of his car breaks through the barricade at the exact moment Savannah’s eyes lock with mine. They issue the same plea they’ve been giving all night. The one that begs for understanding while also praying for forgiveness.

  I’ve never been overly confident at lip reading, but even my lack of skills can’t hide what Savannah mouths when Axel’s car sails into the air like a plane gliding through the sky.

  “I love you.”

  25

  Ryan

  “Savannah!” I scream, my roar as loud as the heart-crushing sound of Axel’s car colliding with the volatile ocean.

  With my heart thrashing my ribs, I scale down the unstable rock edge of Bronte’s Peak. Brax follows closely on my heel. The loose rocks struggle to hold our combined weight, but we continue trekking down the uneven surface, more determined than ever. Now is not the time for a lack of courage. The red peaks of Axel’s car are barely visible floating above the dark, murky waters. We don’t have minutes to spare. We don’t even have seconds.

  By the time we make it to the beach, Axel is part of the way to shore. He crawls out of the water on his hands and knees. His head is hanging low and his lungs are heaving.

  “Where’s Savannah?” I ask him, grabbing the lapels of his sports jacket to yank him to his feet.

  His massively dilated eyes dance between mine, but not a word seeps from his lips. The pompous gleam his eyes were carrying all evening has been snuffed, replaced with a pair of eyes belonging to a frightened boy.

  Droplets of salty water fling off him in all directions when I violently shake him. “Where is she?” I ask again, my voice filled with anguish.

  My heart falls from my ribcage when Axel’s eyes drift to the pitch-black ocean. “H-h-her belt. She c-c-couldn’t get her belt undone.”

  I grip his jacket so tightly, a vein nearly bursts in my hand. “So you left her?!”

  Nodding, he returns his eyes to me. “I-I panicked. The water was coming in too fast.”

  “So you left her?!” I repeat, yelling so loud I’m certain I’m heard a half-mile away. “She can’t swim! Do you know she can’t swim?!”

  Axel sucks in a sharp breath before he nods once more. His eyes show his remorse, but it does nothing to lessen my fury.

  Roaring like an animal, I throw him out of my way before racing to the shoreline, toeing off my shoes on the way. Ignoring Brax’s request for me to wait, I dive into the nearly black waters. The icy-cold conditions steal the last breath of air from my lungs, but nothing can slow me down. Axel’s car is sinking into the abyss even faster than my heart is pumping blood. I literally have seconds to reach Savannah before her greatest nightmare comes true.

  I reach Axel’s convertible with barely a second to spare. Its soft-top design is sending it to the bed of the ocean at a rate faster than I anticipated. I’ll never be more grateful for Axel’s showboating ways as I am right now. If it weren’t for the moon reflecting his bright red paintwork floating just below the surface of the water, I would have never found his car in the sea of blackness.

  After filling my lungs with three sharp breaths, I swim down to the hanging-open driver’s side door. Bubbles of air rush out of my nose in quick succession when the murky waters clear enough to spot Savannah inside. Her honey-colored hair is floating around her raised arms, and her eyes are snapped shut.

  No, god, please no.

  Ignoring my lungs frantically hunting for air, I swim into the cabin of Axel’s car to yank at the strip of material holding Savannah hostage. I pull, yank, and tug at her belt with all my might, but it refuses to budge.

  Recalling Axel’s admission, I trail my hands down Savannah’s still torso in search of the malfunctioning latch. With visibility poor, it takes me longer to find than I’d like.

  The last portion of air in my lungs is evicted in a roar when I yank on the seatbelt latch with so much strength, the steel case buckles under the force, freeing Savannah from her watery grave.

  Fighting against the panic attempting to swallow me whole, I fling the offending material off Savannah’s chest, hook my arm around her torso, then drag her toward the driver’s side door.

  Our exit of the plunging vehicle coincides with it coming to rest on the ocean floor.

  With nothing but moonlight lighting my way, I swim us to the surface. The strength of my kicks are remarkedly strong for how woozy my head is. I’m panicked beyond belief, both frightened and angry.

  Bursts of air hit my lungs in quick succession when we break through the water surface, causing me to cough. Unfortunately, Savannah’s body doesn’t react the same way.

  “Help!” I choke out in a scream, praying my panicked cries will alert people to our location. “Help!”

  My screams have the effect I am aiming for. A small fishing boat arrives at my side not even two seconds later.

  “Is there anyone else inside?” the dark-haired man asks while dragging a motionless Savannah onto his boat.

  With panic clutching my throat so firmly I can’t speak, I shake my head. The buttons on my dress shirt rip off when the stranger assists me into his boat with a tug of my arm.

  “Check if she has a pulse,” he demands while racing back to the wheel to guide us to shore. “If her heart isn’t pumping, you need to do it for her.”

  My hand trembles when I press two of my fingers to Savannah’s neck.

  “I can’t feel anything. There’s nothing there.” Moisture burns my eyes as fear consumes me. “She’s not breathing. She doesn’t have a pulse.”

  “Okay. First, I need you to turn her onto her side and clear her airways. If she has water in her lungs, we need to get that out.”

  My stomach lurches in my throat. A puddle of water sloshes at my feet when I follow the stranger’s instructions. The water didn’t come from my saturated pants and shirt—it came from Savannah’s mouth.

  “Now you need to start chest compressions. Find the end of her breastbone by scanning your fingers down until you find where her ribs come together.” He keeps his tone calm, which in turn keeps me calm.

  “Now place two fingers on top of her breastbone,” he instructs when I find the area he is referring to. “Place the heel of your hand there, then interlock your hands together by your fingers.”

  He nods, happy when I follow his directions to the T. “Compress her chest in a steady rhythm. I’ll count you in: One... two... three...” He continues counting to ten.

  “You need to compress harder,” he instructs when we reach thirteen.

  “I can’t,” I reply with a shake of my head, torment resonating in my tone. “I can’t hurt her.”

  The man’s dark eyes leave the foreshore we are approaching at a rapid speed to lock with mine. “If you don’t compress her heart with enough strength, she will die.” The sincerity in his tone doesn’t lessen the severity of it. “You are not hurting her; you're saving her life.”

  He waits for me to nod before saying, “Now go again. Fourteen... fifteen... sixteen...”

  Setting my panic aside, I increase the strength of my pumps.

  “Twenty-seven...Twenty-eight... Twenty-nine... Now breathe into her mout
h two times. You’re doing great. Keep going,” the stranger continues to coach.

  I seal my lips over Savannah’s mouth, pinch her nose, then blow air into her lungs as instructed.

  “Come on, Savannah. Please,” I beg as I scan her face for signs of life.

  There aren’t any. Her eyes are snapped shut, and her lips are blue and lifeless.

  “Please, Savannah. Don’t do this to me,” I request before once again sealing my lips over hers and breathing into her freezing cold mouth. “I didn’t mean what I said. I was just angry and acting stupid. You know what boys are like. We talk before thinking. If you come back, I promise I’ll never say another bad word about you again. I love you too, Savannah. Please don’t leave me. Not like this.”

  I continue chest compressions until the boat mounts the shoreline and Brax and three men lift Savannah onto the sandy shore. I continue chest compressions while Axel stands to the side of us, running his shaky fingers over his scalp. I continue chest compressions until a paramedic tugs on my shoulder to take over.

  “You’ve done good. We’ll take it from here,” a female paramedic advises as she falls to her knees next to Savannah’s lifeless form.

  “We have a female patient late teens to early twenties. She was submerged for approximately forty seconds. Upon discovery of no pulse, we cleared her airways before compressions were started,” the boat owner advises the paramedics, his medical knowledge surprising me. “We used a ratio of thirty compression per two breaths until we arrived on shore, then we lowered it to fifteen compressions per two breaths.”

  He aids the paramedics in resuscitating Savannah while I watch them like a hawk, wishing I could be more helpful, but knowing I’m better leaving it to the professionals. I don’t know if my breathlessness is from my swim to reach Axel’s car before it sank to the bottom of the ocean, or because I truly lose the ability to breathe without Savannah in my life. Every compression I pumped on her chest tightened the chokehold around my neck, so I would say it's the latter.

  I turn my eyes away from Savannah when the defibrillator causes her body to convulse against the electric current roaring through it. Although watching her heart be shocked back to life will forever haunt me, the faint rise and fall of her chest that follows it's worth the sacrifice.

  “That’s it, come on, baby girl,” the female paramedic whispers, pleased that the machine displays a faint pulse. “Come back to us.”

  With my heart sitting in my throat, I crawl a little closer to them, praying they too are seeing the weak flutter thumping in Savannah’s neck. I stare at the tiny vein working overtime, counting each of its pumps in awe. Boom-boom. Boom-boom. Boom-boom.

  “Adrenaline?” the male paramedic questions as he continues squeezing the plastic bag sealed over Savannah’s mouth.

  “Not yet, she’s got this. She’s coming back. Let’s give her a chance,” the female medic answers. “You’re coming back to us, aren’t you, baby girl? Come back to your boy. He’s waiting for you.”

  The more encouraging thoughts she whispers to Savannah, the higher her pulse climbs... as does mine. My heart is racing so out of control I’m panicked I’m moments away from coronary failure. She’s fighting with the determination I’ve always admired. She's coming back. I can feel it deep in my bones. I saved her, and now she's saving herself.

  “That’s it, baby girl, you’ve got this.” The paramedic raises her wide blue eyes to me, then smiles. “She’s okay. You did good. She’s coming back to you,” she advises, mistaking me as her boyfriend instead of the useless imbecile lurking in the shadows.

  I nod, trusting every word she speaks. Savannah is coming back to me.

  And she's also my girl.

  26

  Ryan

  The next fifteen minutes pass in a blur. Brax and Chris never left my side, but I refuse to accept their guarantees that everything is going to be okay until I see it for myself. Savannah was carted off in an ambulance nearly ten minutes ago. I wanted to go with her, but upon discovering the man who aided me in the boat is an off-duty police officer, I was informed I couldn't.

  “Ryan?”

  I shift my eyes from the medical equipment strewn across the sand Savannah was lying on mere moments ago to the voice.

  “What are you doing here? Are you okay?”

  Regina drags her wide-with-panic eyes down my drenched frame before locking them with her fellow officer who is taking my statement. “What happened, Jim? Why is Ryan here? Is he a suspect?”

  “No. He’s a hero...”

  Jim continues speaking, but I don’t hear a word he's saying. My lack of attention can’t be helped. The biggest lie I’ve ever heard just filtered through my ears, closely followed by another, and then another.

  “I don’t know what happened. I think it might have been a mechanical issue. One minute we are traveling down the road; the next... we’re in the ocean. I did everything I could to save her.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me? This wasn’t an accident. You tried to run us off the road. That’s why your car went over the cliff. And you didn’t save her. You left her to drown. She nearly died because of you!”

  Axel shakes his head, cowardly denying my claims like the weasel he is. “What happened tonight was an accident. Nothing more.”

  He turns his eyes to the officers surrounding us, praying they will believe his pathetic acting skills as the paramedics did when Savannah’s eyes fluttered open for the quickest second on the beach earlier. She didn’t even have a chance to blink before Axel fell to his knees beside her, portraying the heroic boyfriend like he was the one who pulled her off the ocean floor.

  “This was an accident?” I ask, my slit eyes fixated on Axel. “Everything that happened tonight was an accident?”

  When Axel nods, I see red. I charge for him without a second thought, not the least bit concerned my assault is about to be witnessed by over a dozen police officers. Jim attempts to impede my furious steps with his large frame, but Regina braces her hand against his chest, soundlessly advising for him to stand down.

  I ram my shoulder into Axel’s stomach, evicting the air in his lungs as brutally as mine did when I saw Savannah floating in her watery grave. I pin him to a large boulder piercing the beach by his torso before throwing my fist into his face.

  I manage to get three hits to his face and an additional two to his ribs before Regina signals for Jim to step in. The fury roaring through my veins is so potent, the clothes hanging limply on my body nearly dry from its heat.

  “He’s lying! He’s a fucking liar!” I shout as Jim drags me away from a stunned Axel, who is wiping blood from his nose. “This wasn’t an accident. He tried to kill us. Then he nearly killed her. He nearly killed Savannah.”

  I stop glaring at Axel when Regina steps into my line of sight. “Do you want to hurt him some more? Make him experience what you’re feeling right now?”

  The moisture pooling in my eyes nearly cascades down my cheeks when I frantically nod my head. I'd give anything for Axel to experience one-tenth of the torment shredding my heart to pieces. Anything at all.

  “Then hit him where it will really hurt. Tell me what happened.” Regina’s understanding eyes dance between mine. “What really happened. Then let the justice system do the hard work for you. Let us show him our muscle.”

  “You really think you can make him pay better than I can?” My words are so hostile, I don’t recognize my own voice.

  “Yes,” Regina replies without pause. “I don’t think I can make him pay. I will make him pay. That’s how I work, Ryan. That’s how we work." She gestures her hand toward the officers milling around us. "Just tell me what happened, then once we're done, I'll take you to Savannah."

  Just the mention of Savannah’s name wipes my anger away in an instant, and Regina notices this. “Do you want to see Savannah, Ryan?”

  “Yes,” I answer, my short response incapable of hiding my hope.

  “Then tell me what happened. The quicker we
get these statements over, the quicker I can take you to her.”

  “Don’t be an idiot, Ryan,” Axel warns, his tone one he shouldn’t use on a man mere seconds away from killing him. “There's stuff you don’t know. Stuff Savannah hasn’t told you. If you take me down, you’ll take her down with me.”

  My eyes rocket to Regina to gauge the authenticity of Axel’s pledge. Although I should take everything he says with a grain of salt, Savannah said earlier tonight there was stuff she couldn’t tell me yet. Does that include Axel’s warning? Or is he just trying to save himself from prosecution?

  Regina doesn’t verbally reply to the stream of questions pumping out of me in invisible waves. She just maintains my gaze, answering them with the same integrity she did the day my dad had me arrested for assault. She has my back; I just need to trust her.

  My throat works hard to swallow before I say, "Axel had already exited the lookout before his anger got the better of him. If you send an officer to the entrance of Bronte's Peak, you'll find his tire marks in the gravel."

  Regina smiles, relaying her thanks for the information before nudging her head to a male officer taking Brax’s statement.

  After instructing him to send forensic officers to the entrance of Bronte’s Peak, she returns her eyes to mine. “What else?”

  Ignoring Axel’s repeated warnings to keep my mouth shut, I point to the section of rock Brax and I scaled down to reach Savannah. “We were standing there when he started driving toward us. If Savannah hadn’t yanked on the steering wheel when she did, he would have hit us. He was aiming for us.” My last two sentences are crammed with sentiment. She saved us. Savannah saved me. She can’t prove her loyalty any more than that.

  “Good. Anything else?” Regina asks, her tone lowering, understanding my mood is teetering between helpful and manic.

  “Ryan... think about this,” Axel cautions for the second time. “She’ll never forgive you if your ruin things for her father.”