Black and the Ugliest

by T. Styles

  A few tears rolled down my face during my self-talk and I took a deep breath and wiped them away.

  “…If you don’t get yourself together you’re probably gonna make things worse. Now go out there and be on your game.”

  I walked over to the mirror and turned on the water. There were tiny spider webs around the designer faucets and I knew he hadn’t been here in a while. After throwing cold water on my face I took another deep breath, flushed the toilet and walked downstairs.

  Before I turned the corner I saw Am’rak talking quietly with two of his men. They all looked at me and Am’rak dapped them up and they walked off, leaving us alone. He smiled, extended his hand and walked me to the kitchen where two paper bags filled with food sat on top. “Sit down.”

  “That was quick,” I smiled pulling up a wooden chair, one of four at a table that matched. “You had somebody bring food that fast?”

  He sat across from me and removed a Styrofoam plate filled with pancakes, eggs, potatoes and sausage for both of us. Then he removed two cups filled with orange juice.

  After handing me a fork he said, “I had to take your phone. I’m sorry.”

  “My phone?” I frowned as if I didn’t know already. “I didn’t even realize it was gone.” I ate some eggs, which were beyond good at this point. Or maybe it was the fact that I was starving and horrified at the same time.

  He smiled. “It’s just that, you know, with niggas chasing me I gotta be careful. Don’t want people knowing where I am. I tried to get into it to turn off your location finder if you had one but couldn’t because I didn’t have your code. Since you had a Samsung and not an iPhone I couldn’t even use your fingerprint to unlock it. So I had to toss it out the window on the highway. I hope you can understand.”

  I nodded. “Um, I am confused though.” I kept my eyes on my food as I put bits and pieces into my mouth. “I mean…”

  “My best friend is doing this shit.” He said answering my question before I asked.

  I put my fork down and wiped my mouth. “Your—”

  “We grew up together. Made a lot of money together and he, and he stabbed me in the back. Now he wants me dead and out the way and I’m not gonna let that happen.”

  I nodded my head although I didn’t believe him. Everything in me wanted to ask more questions but Wayne kept telling me how important it was not to look too desperate. And so far it seemed to work because he was talking to me freely without me asking specific questions. Still, what could cause a man to hunt his own best friend if that were true?

  I picked my fork up and ate some more eggs.

  I could feel him judging me and trying to figure me out with his eyes. “You not gonna ask me anything else?”

  I took the lid off my juice and took a large gulp. “Do you want me to ask you something else?”

  He laughed hard.

  “What?” I put the cup down and tore off a piece of pancake. I don’t even think I was hungry anymore. Just trying to do something to appear relaxed even though it was the furthest emotion from my mind. “Why you looking at me like that?”

  “We gotta stay here for a few days, maybe a week or so, but I want things to be good for you.”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Am’rak, that’s a long time to be away from my life.”

  “I thought you didn‘t have any place to—”

  “Just because I don’t have a family and, you know a…”

  “A man,” he said finishing my sentence. “You single right, Parade?”

  “Just because I don’t have a boyfriend and kids doesn’t mean I can stay posted up here with you for weeks. I mean, that’s not how you do people.”

  He nodded and sat back in his chair. “I’m not holding you hostage.” He wiped his mouth with the napkin and then pointed at the door. “You free to go.”

  I looked toward the living room and back at him. “And then what?”

  “What you asking? If you’ll be safe or not?”

  Silence.

  “Like I told you in the car I can’t call it,” he shrugged. “I mean, I told you why you here. Now if you think you can make it on your own and stay clear of Salaam then go for it.”

  I looked down at the plate and back at him. “I need to make a call.”

  He smiled. “Let me get you a clean phone.”

  ****

  AM’RAK

  I haven’t heard anything else from my contact,” Mercer said while he was on the phone with Am’rak who was in the basement of the house in Virginia. “So far the FEDS still looking for Quila, not you.”

  “If I gotta give ‘em my name instead of hers I will but—”

  “Hold off on that,” Mercer said. “We just have to find another scapegoat. If they want a plug, lets give them one.”

  Am’rak sighed. “What about the girl? Any more info on her?”

  “She moved to L.A. some time back and that’s all I got so far.”

  “Well don’t stop looking,” Am’rak said. “She may be the answer to my prayers.”

  When he hung up with Mercer he called his aunt. “Hey.”

  “What’s going on?” She said anxiously. As the drug dealer known as Queen Pin, she was wanted by many although few ever seen her face. At 77, she was also getting old and senile. “Are they on to me or what?”

  “I don’t want you to—”

  “I can’t do the time, Am’rak,” she said hysterically. “I just can’t. You know that right?”

  “Hey, hey, hey,” he said firmly. “I’m going to always take care of you and I want you to know this time won’t be any different. I don’t care who I have to kill!”

  ****

  PARADE

  I was standing in the middle of the living room using a phone that Am’rak gave me while he was in front of the house talking quietly with his men again. There was always so much secrecy around him that it was another reason why I wondered how I didn’t zap the fuck out.

  When the phone rang for the fifteenth time and still no Wayne, I was starting to get nervous. He always answered when I called. FUCK! I just needed him to know what was happening in the event I was missing for good. “Aw, Wayne, please, pick up. Where are you?”

  ****

  MERCER

  Mercer sat in his car in the parking lot of the hospital looking at Quinn who had just left visiting Jay, who was still unconscious. When she unlocked the car alarm to her silver Range Rover, she felt as if someone was watching.

  She was right.

  When she turned around she saw Mercer in his car staring intently. But instead of being fearful she smiled. After all, he was handsome with his smooth brown skin and big eyes.

  He smiled back.

  The move, although simple melted his heart. Who was she?

  He continued to watch her until she pulled away and immediately his heart told him he loved her and he was determined to make sure she loved him back.

  When the phone rang he answered. “Any word?” Am’rak asked.

  Mercer cleared his throat. “Still running short but I think I found her mother.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. A friend of mine said he heard Parade arguing with a Latin broad in the parking lot of the hospital some time back. Said the broad was mad that Parade wouldn’t go inside. He thinks she’s her moms.”

  “Sounds off based on the description.”

  “I know,” Mercer admitted. “The picture you sent doesn’t say Latin but she could be her foster moms or something. Who knows?”

  “Maybe,” Am’rak said slowly, not really buying it. “But keep digging. I feel like we’re close.”

  “Can you tell me why she’s so important?”

  “Just do what the fuck I said,” he snapped before hanging up.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  WAYNE

  I was standing in front of Janson High School in Maryland when I finally saw Landon walking out talking to another young boy. They were laughing at something until Landon saw me. He said a fe
w words to the boy and walked over to me.

  Sliding into the rental he hugged me and took a deep breath. “Before you ask I don’t know where Logan is.”

  I stared at him harder.

  “I know you don’t believe me.” He took a deep breath and continued. “But he wouldn’t tell me where he was going either so…”

  I continued to stare as he looked out the window, anyplace but at me.

  Finally he took a deep breath. “He went back home, Wayne.”

  I shook my head. “I knew it.” I paused. “How on earth did he get there?”

  “His girlfriend arranged a ride for him from a friend who was in the area I think.” He shrugged. “It was gonna take them a few days to get there driving but he had some cash on him before he left. Don’t know where he got it.” He shrugged. “I’m sorry for lying to you, Uncle Wayne.”

  I took a deep breath. “Don’t worry about all that.” I paused. “We will—” When my phone rung again with an unknown number I looked down at it and frowned. I didn’t wanna talk to anybody unless it was Parade so that meant keeping the line clear. After realizing it wasn’t her number I put it back down and looked over at him. “Okay, this is what we gonna do, I don’t want you saying anything to your grandmother at all about this. And the moment Logan gets to L.A., the first person you going to call when you hear from him is me.” I sighed deeply. “I don’t want your mother worrying about this before she has to.”

  He nodded. “Okay.”

  I looked over at him again. “How are you though?”

  “Fine I guess.”

  “Landon,” I said softly. “You have always been the level headed one in this family.”

  He laughed. “I know and that’s scary considering how stressed I am.”

  “You’ll learn to appreciate it later in life when you need to draw on that strength.” I paused. “And I know how that is, having to always come to the rescue and help others. But I truly want to know how you feel and to tell you things will be okay. Trust me and trust—”

  “Please don’t lie to me.” He said. “You never lied to me and I don’t want that to change.”

  I nodded my head softly. “You’re right.” I paused. “This situation is a disaster. But I believe in my heart that something will work out for this family. It just has to.”

  ****

  JAY

  When the nurse walked into the room to sponge bathe Jay, Quinn stood up and walked toward her. “Hello, I’m his wife,” she lied.

  The nurse nodded. “Yes, his mother told me.” She looked at Jay and back at her. “I’m just going to bathe him and—”

  Quinn blocked her path and removed the bucket with warm water and sponge floating inside, from the woman’s hands. “You can leave now. I have this. I don’t mind.”

  “But I’m supposed to—”

  “The door.” Quinn placed the bucket on the table next to the bed. “Now.”

  The nurse smiled, nodded once and walked out.

  Quinn closed the door, walked over to Jay and pulled the covers back. Next she raised his baby blue hospital gown. Looking at his body with eyes that should not cover a man who was not hers, she observed each inch of his unconsciousness. His chiseled biceps, six pack and flaccid but well-hung dick all had her licking her lips.

  “Wow, better than I remember,” she said to herself.

  When she was ready she touched his body carefully. Slowly her fingertips trickled over his forehead, nose, cheeks and lips. When she was excitable enough she did the same to his neck, chest and belly. And as if that wasn’t too much, she touched his limp penis, thighs and feet.

  She would’ve done more but she heard someone else walk by the door talking and didn’t want to be caught in such an awkward position, heaven forbid it was Jay’s mother.

  So, dipping her hand into the warm water, she grabbed the sponge and wiped his face while staring down at him with penetrating eyes. “You will be mine this time, Jay. And there won’t be anything anyone can do to stop it. Especially your fucking wife.”

  ****

  PARADE

  I hadn’t even realized I was asleep until I opened my eyes. Pushing the thick and stiff silver comforter and sheet set off me, I sat on the edge of the bed. The cat suit I was wearing was too tight and uncomfortable, causing me to wake up several times during my nap making me unable to get the good rest that I desperately needed.

  There was so much that needed to happen in my life, starting with me talking to my family and finding out what was up with Jay but I had no such luck. I didn’t know Melissa’s number. My sons weren’t answering their cell phones and Wayne wouldn’t pick up his either.

  What was going on in my family?

  Walking out the bedroom I headed downstairs, only to see Am’rak sitting on the sofa, with three large red boxes on top of a cream-colored living room table that wasn’t there before. He looked drunk and angry which made me pause.

  “Are you okay?” I asked softly.

  “Was life always easy for you?”

  I laughed.

  “Answer the question.” He glared.

  “Not even close.”

  “Why don’t I believe you?”

  “Am’rak, what is this about?”

  He stood up and put his arms behind him. “Let’s play a game.”

  I walked closer and looked down at the gifts. “Is this for me?”

  “You playing or not?” He asked with a smile.

  “I actually wanted to try and reach my friend again.” I looked in the kitchen where I put the burner on the charger. “Is the phone charged up now?”

  “My man’s using it,” he said softly. “But what about the game? Are you willing to play?”

  I took a deep breath and crossed my arms over my chest. “What’s in it for you?”

  He laughed. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that question?”

  I shrugged. “Okay…what’s in it for me?”

  “You pick one of the boxes and you get to keep anything that’s inside.”

  I looked up at him and walked on the other side of the table. Taking a deep breath I sat down and stared up at him again. He was getting weirder and weirder by the day. I mean, did he like me or hate me? “I don’t get it, Am’rak.”

  He sat next to me. “I’m guessing that you are intending on staying here with me a little while correct?”

  I shrugged. To be honest I wanted to go home but was afraid of getting the bullet in the head that he told me repeatedly I would receive from his enemies. “Uh, yeah.” I cleared my throat. “Yes.”

  “Well if you are,” he continued, “The least we can do is have fun.”

  “Okay, if I pick the box in the middle—”

  “Just choose,” he said firmly.

  I moved uneasily because he sort of snapped. The weight of my choice appeared heavy. “Is this supposed to be fun because it feels real scary?”

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I just don’t want you messing up a good thing. You’ll learn to look back on this moment with regret if you aren’t careful.”

  I took a deep breath and grabbed the smallest box. Looking at him out of the corner of my eyes I saw him smile. The box was flat and no bigger than the palm of my hand but I was hoping that it was money. When I opened it there was a small gold envelope inside that felt like a credit card.

  Slowly I pulled back the lid and saw a white card with the words “Te concedo un deseo”.

  He smiled. “You picked the best one.” I didn’t feel that way. “Give it to the one person in your life who you love the most. It’ll be very useful. Trust me.”

  “But what does it mean?”

  He winked and there was a knock at the door. “I’ll be back.”

  “Can I use your phone now?”

  He smiled, dug into his pocket and handed me a black flip phone. When he walked to the front door I made a call and finally Wayne answered. I was so shocked to hear his voice I got choked up. “Wa...Wayne...you...what...how...”

/>   “Parade?” He said hysterically. “Is that you?”

  “Yes, where...why didn’t you answer your phone?” I got up and walked to the kitchen for a little more privacy. “I been calling you all day. Nonstop.”

  “Chile, I didn’t recognize the number!” He said frantically. “Where are you?”

  “It’s too much to say but I have to know what’s going on with the kids. Are they fine?”

  He took a deep breath.

  “Wayne?” I repeated, wild eyes darting around. “Are my kids okay?”

  He took another deep breath. “Okay, well, Logan has gone back to L.A.”

  I placed my hand over my chest, leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor. It took everything in me not to scream. “But, but...”

  “He got some money from somewhere.”

  It was then that I remembered that I tucked some cash under the bed at Melissa’s and he must’ve found it.

  “But Parade, I don’t want you worrying about anything.” He continued. “You know I won’t have my nephew rolling around L.A. without my involvment. Trust me. He’ll be safe.” He paused. “But where are you?”

  “I have no idea,” I sniffled, wiping the tears that crept up on my face. “One minute I was at his house in Maryland and the next minute some dudes had broken in and he moved me out of state. I—”

  “WHAT?”

  “As ridiculous as it sounds, is as ridiciulous as things have been over here.” I paused. “I mean, at one point I thought he was holding me hostage but I don’t think that’s the case.”

  “Parade, maybe you should go home.” He paused. “I had a bad feeling before but now...”

  “I can’t come home just yet,” I said standing up. “I’ve come too far you know? And if I don’t at least try to get the money then what am I doing? What has all this been about?”

  “Who you talking to?” Am’rak asked walking into the kitchen.

  “Let me call you back.” I hung up on Wayne. “A friend of mine.” I walked over to him. “Is everything okay?”