by Finn
“Hey, don’t worry about it!” I said with a grin, and I gave Leroy another nudge.
Looking at Leroy smiling shyly at me after he apologised made my stomach flutter and I could tell from the tone in his voice that the shit that was happening was weighing heavily on his mind. All of that considered, on top of the innocent way he was looking at me, my decision had already been made.
I couldn’t say no to that face.
“If you want, we can talk about it at your place.”
“You’re coming over?” Leroy asked, the shyness had gone from his face, and excitement replacing it.
“Yeah. I’ll drop the others home, then we can go to yours,” I said, and Leroy nodded with a broad grin.
“We should get going. I need to grab some things from Andy’s house. Are you okay with waiting there a little?”
“Yeah, yeah, of course!” I nodded as we started heading across the field toward the parking lot.
I’d be lying if I said my mind wasn’t racing. It may have been because I almost got my ass kicked by Donny, who was at least foot taller than me, but it was mainly because of Leroy. There was something wrong. Something was going on, and he wasn’t telling me.
‘There’s just… a lot of shit happening.’
A lot of shit. That could be fucking anything. The hurt in Leroy’s voice, though meant that it wasn’t just anything. And it pained me to know Leroy was hurting, which threw my mind into even more of a spin. I shouldn’t be feeling as much as I did for Leroy. It was wrong. Not because it was gay. But because he was my best friend.
My brain continued to replay Leroy’s words and further ingrained the pain in his voice into my mind while we wandered to my car where Andy and Blaire were waiting for us.
“Yo, bitches. You took your time!” Blaire yelled, and Andy hummed in agreement.
Unlocking my car, I rolled my eyes at them and did my best to ignore the looks Blaire was giving me as her eyes darted between myself and Leroy as we slid into the car.
“I almost got my ass handed to me on a brilliant silver platter. So, you’re lucky I even arrived at my car.”
“I bet you I can guess—”
“It was Donny.”
“Pete, you ass! I was gonna guess!” Blaire punched my arm as I started the car, and I shot her a glare.
“Okay, that hurt.”
“Lucky I was there to save the day,” Leroy chipped in, and Blaire gave me another odd look.
“Oh, right. Shotgun,” Blaire said suddenly, even though everyone had already gotten in the car.
Blaire in the front seat. Andy and Leroy in the back.
“You guys are getting really shit at calling shotgun,” I said, looking into the back seat, where Leroy shrugged, and Andy shook his head.
“Honestly, I just want to know what you did to piss Donny off this time?” Andy asked as I pulled out of the carpark, and it was Blaire’s turn to hum in agreement.
“Well, apparently, just by breathing I can do that,” I answered, keeping my eyes trained on the road.
“Yeah, you have that effect on people.”
“Gee, thanks, Andy,” I said, ignoring the chuckles from the others as we continued the drive to Andy’s house.
With the idle chatter, it wasn’t long before I was parking my car on the curb in front of Andy’s house, and Andy and Leroy got out of the vehicle.
“I’ll be back in a sec,” Leroy said before closing the car door, leaving Blaire and me alone.
“Back in a sec?” Blaire asked, raising her eyebrows at me.
“I’m going to his house,” I said sheepishly, and Blaire slapped my arm.
“I thought you were avoiding him!”
“I was, but it just happened! He sounded like he needed a friend.”
“Pete, this is almost the complete opposite of what you should be doing,” Blaire said, trying to contain her laughter as my face began to heat up.
“Shut up. Something’s wrong. I’m just being there for him,” I said, looking away from Blaire, trying to hide my face. “He got a bit shirty with me, so I’m just seeing what’s up.”
Saying he got ‘shirty’ with me was a bit much, considering he apologised and told me something was up. But I wanted to talk about it, and I knew to say it like that would draw Blaire in. I hoped.
“He grabbed you by the shirt?” Blaire asked.
“What? No, Blaire—"
“Pushed you up against the wall and seductively whispered into your ear,” Blaire continued, and I could tell she was staring at me, watching my face grow redder with every word she spoke.
“We both know that’s not what I meant!”
“Slowly, he lifts your shirt. His hands begin to trace up your bare skin, sending chills rippling through your body, as his lips graze down your jawline—"
“Okay! Enough!” I cut Blaire off before starting up my car again and turning up the radio, drowning out the sounds of her laughter.
Sitting listening to the radio and ignoring Blaire, I tried my best to get the image that she had painted out of my head before it became a problem.
“Why is the radio so loud?” I heard Leroy’s voice break through the noise, and I quickly turned the radio down.
“Just some imagery exercise,” Blaire said smugly, and I could feel her eyes on me.
“Yeah, that’s what we’ll call it,” I muttered, looking at the rear-view mirror to see Leroy closing the car down and putting his seatbelt on. “Alright, let’s go.”
With that, I shifted gears, and pulled away from Andy’s house, albeit a little roughly, and began driving to Blaire’s house, hoping I hadn’t made a mistake by agreeing to go to Leroy’s.
“Alright, get out,” I said bluntly as I pulled up in front of Blaire’s house, and she gave me a smirk as she opened the door.
“Don’t have too much fun.”
“We need to have a talk later,” I said harshly, and Blaire winked at me.
“Oh, yes, we do.”
With that, Blaire pulled herself out of the car and swung her bag on her back. Giving Leroy a wave, she wandered across the road and up to her small house.
“And then there were two,” Leroy said, clambering out of the backseat to get into the front seat.
“Why not use the doors?” I asked, dodging his arms and legs as he struggled over the centre console.
“I love a challenge.”
After a few more moments of Leroy struggling, he finally found his place in the front seat, and as I looked at him moving to get comfortable, I couldn’t help but smile brightly.
“Let’s go!” Leroy beamed, looking over at me, and I nodded, feeling my face begin to heat up.
Starting the trip to Leroy’s house, I couldn’t help but think that the coming afternoon may be very, very long.
-Eleven-
The Longest Afternoon
“You’re a little quiet, Pete,” Leroy said as we drew closer to his house, and I let out a small hum.
He wasn’t wrong. Ever since we had dropped Blaire off and it had just been Leroy and myself, I hadn’t been able to find anything to say. Not that my mind wasn’t brimming with things I wanted to say or questions that I wanted to ask, but I couldn’t bring myself to let any words slip from my mouth.
I could have sworn this car trip was a lot shorter.
“Anything on your mind?” Leroy asked, and I shook my head, keeping my eyes on the road.
“No, no,” I lied, and I bit my lower lip.
I had no doubt that this would be a whole lot easier if I hadn’t found myself falling for Leroy. Perhaps if I didn’t have feelings for him, I would be able to tell him that I was gay. I would be able to open up to him and bear whatever would come. Maybe I was fooling myself. Even without feelings for Leroy, things wouldn’t change. I wouldn’t change.
I knew that no matter what, I would always be afraid to tell Leroy who I was. Mitchell’s comment earlier in the week had solidified my fears that some people wouldn’t accept me. What if one
of those people was Leroy?
“Anything on yours?” I asked as we finally pulled up in front of Leroy’s house, and I turned the car off.
“No, no,” Leroy mimicked me, and I knew he was also lying.
When you’ve been friends with someone for a while, you can pick up on those things. The way his voice shook ever so slightly and the twitchy smile that rushed across his face. I could read him like a book.
I had no doubt he also knew I wasn’t telling the truth.
“Let’s head inside. Dad finishes work in about two hours, so I won’t have to…” Leroy trailed off as he grabbed his bag and gripped the door handle.
Watching him closely, I grabbed my own bag, waiting for him to finish. I could feel that he wanted to talk about something, but I doubted that he would. Something was holding him back, just as there was something holding me back.
I missed it when we could tell each other anything. Though, it seemed like those days were far behind us as we both stayed in silence in the car, waiting for the other to get out first. I was the one to make that move.
“Let’s roll then.”
Knowing better than to push Leroy, I opened the door and felt the afternoon ripple around my feet as I stepped onto the pavement.
Hearing Leroy’s door open and close, I made my way around the front of the car and followed him up toward his house, swinging my bag over my shoulder. Even by the way he walked, it seemed more sluggish than usual, as if coming home had the opposite effect on him than every other student.
Usually, the energy that seemed to evaporate from everyone at school flowed back into them when they got home. Leroy, however, seemed to only get more drained, and as he looked back at me and smiled, I could tell it was forced. Something about the look on his face told me he would rather be anywhere other than at his own house.
“So, why aren’t you at Andy’s this afternoon?” I asked as we reached Leroy’s front door and he opened it, gesturing inside. “I know you’ve been staying at his house a bit.”
“Oh, yeah,” Leroy mumbled, walking inside behind me and closing the door. “He has some stuff on, and I don’t like being there when he isn’t.”
Nodding along to Leroy’s words, I let him walk by me and followed him through the cluttered lounge room the front door led into. Leroy’s house was by no means small, however, with all of the junk and rubbish that was lying around the place, it certainly made it feel that way.
I knew none of the junk was Leroy’s as he was a sanitary and organised person, so, I assumed it was his fathers, someone I had never met. From what Leroy had told me, he was the complete opposite of his son. Leroy often brightened up when he talked about how he took after his mother. Sadly, she was no longer around, and it looked as though the household had been greatly affected by it.
“Are you hungry or thirsty?” Leroy asked as we walked out of the lounge room and into the small kitchen.
“I’m good, thanks,” I said with a smile, and Leroy nodded and quickly looked away, keeping his eyes on the tile floor.
I really wish I knew what was going on in his head.
Continuing to follow Leroy through the house, which was a horribly designed straight line, I started to wonder why anyone would build a house like this. Beginning in the lounge room, then going into the kitchen, then a hallway with a bathroom, laundry, and two bedrooms attached to it. I didn’t even think the house had a back door.
Who was I kidding? I didn’t care about the architecture of the house; I was only doing my best not to think about Leroy. It wasn’t working. I couldn’t get his damn smile out of my head.
“So, I was thinking we could do some…” Leroy started, though mumbled the last words, so I couldn’t hear them.
“What?” I asked, shooting Leroy a questioning look as we reached the door at the end of the hallway with his name hanging on it.
“I said, I was thinking we could do some math homework,” Leroy said more clearly, a shy smile slipping onto his face as he opened his bedroom door.
This afternoon was going to be hell.
“Oh, fantastic. Sounds great,” I mumbled, moving past Leroy and walking into his room.
As soon as I entered his room, I could smell the difference. I hadn’t noticed how unclean the air had smelt before walking into Leroy’s bedroom as I suddenly got a breath of fresh air. I looked around the near-flawless room. The bed was made perfectly, and the floor was spotless. No clothes were laying on the ground or any rubbish in sight. In fact, it looked like no one had been in this room for years.
The bookshelves pushed against the side walls had all their books set up neatly and in alphabetical order. The television that sat atop the dresser that was next to the door had all its cords neatly wound up tight and making no cluttered mess. Even the posters on the walls looked like they had been put up after all the appropriate measurements had been made to make sure they all sat at the same height and were hung up to sit as straight as possible.
“The fucking patience,” I whispered to myself, hearing Leroy close the door behind me.
It had been a very long time since I had been in Leroy’s room.
“What was that?” Leroy asked, moving around me, throwing his bag on his bed and sitting beside it.
“Oh, I forgot how neat you were,” I said louder, walking a little further into his room, keeping my eyes off Leroy, and scanning around me.
“Oh… yeah. Andy found it a little annoying that I kept cleaning his room.” Leroy laughed nervously, and I heard him unzipping his bag and rustling papers around.
Letting out a little chuckle, I walked over to one of his posters—a blonde woman with a shockingly skimpy bikini on—and tried not to roll my eyes. I had no idea why I chose this poster to look at, all considering, but something caught my eye, and it definitely wasn’t the half-naked lady on it. It was the ever so slight tilt on the poster.
Everything else in Leroy’s room was flawless, except for this poster.
“What’re you doing, Pete?” Leroy suddenly asked, and I turned to look at him.
He was sitting on his bed with his legs cross, books and papers lying in front of him and his bag sitting at the end of his bed. A questioning look was on his face, and my God did he look adorable.
“I’m just looking…” my voice trailed off, as did my eyes, as they landed on the wall behind the door.
A significant dent was embedded in the wall along with what looked like plaster skirted around the outside of it as though a large hole had been covered up there.
“What happened there?” I asked, pointing over at the wall, turning to look at Leroy who shook his head.
“Oh, nothing. Just opened my door a little too hard,” he said quickly, with an awkward smile.
“A little?” I questioned, looking back at the large dent, and the even larger layer of plaster.
“Yeah. It’s nothing.”
Looking back at Leroy, I saw he was already filing through his books, his nose somewhat scrunched up, and strands of his curly hair were falling in front of his face. Thinking of the dent in the wall, I turned back to the ever so slightly tilted poster and peeled the blu tack from one corner just as Leroy yelled for me to stop.
“What—” I started, but stopped as the corner of the poster dropped, revealing a large hole in the wall. “The fuck.”
I felt Leroy gently move me out of the way as he pulled the corner of the poster back up and pressed down on the blu tack to make it stick.
“Leroy, what’s going on?” The words came out of my mouth before I could stop them.
Leroy didn’t answer straight away as he continued to press down on the corner of the poster with his back turned to me. It took a few more moments before he slowly moved to face me with a slanted smile and knotted eyebrows.
“Can we just… not talk about that?” He asked, and I slowly nodded, fighting against every fibre in my body.
Taking a deep breath, Leroy walked past me and sat back down on his bed, crossing his leg
s again and picking up his math book. Still fighting the urge to press on information about what was going on, I walked over to the other side of Leroy’s double bed and sat down beside him, facing him and crossing my legs, mirroring Leroy.
“So… math homework,” I said, clapping my hands together before taking my bag off my shoulders and pulling my books out.
“Yeah,” Leroy mumbled, looking at me and spinning himself around so that we were facing each other, our knees almost touching.
It took every ounce of self-restraint I had not to move closer to Leroy. It was even harder not to stare at his perfect face and lips, to not tell him everything as we both sat so close to each other. I wanted nothing more than to pull him close to me and never let go.
Every fucking ounce of strength in my body exerted to stay where I was.
“So, I suggest we do the homework and the study,” Leroy said, pulling his books onto his lap, letting them rest lightly on my knees.
I did the same, and the movement must have put me closer, for when I set my books up, mine and Leroy’s knees were now touching. Our school shorts pulling up slightly, allowing us to have skin-on-skin contact, the feeling sending shivers down my spine. Leroy didn’t seem to be bothered by the contact and continued flicking through his books.
“Can’t we just do the homework and not study?” I whined, opening my own book and listening to Leroy chuckle.
I was not the studying type or even the homework type. I thought we wouldn’t be doing either and instead would be talking. How wrong I was.
“You need to learn how to study, Pete. For when you go to university.”
“That isn’t for, like, five months. Just because you’re a study freak doesn’t mean I have to be.” I let out a small laugh, and Leroy shook his head again. “Plus, we are going to the same uni, so you can always help.”
I did my best not to sound too hopeful at the prospect of spending sleepless nights with Leroy. Even if it was to study and nothing else.
“Ugh, and you know I could never say no to you.” Leroy groaned, filling in a few answers on the sheet Ms Lane had given us for homework,
“And why is that?”