Silver Wolves

by Mary Winter

  Chapter Six

  He cooked! She’d known from the burgers he’d made her and the salad, not to mention the vinaigrette dressing from scratch, that Travis knew how to cook. Since he lived alone it made sense. Either most bachelors learned how to cook or they ate out all the time. She didn’t see him as the eating out type, though dinner at Sandy’s Anchor probably seemed like dining with friends. A lot of pack activities revolved around food, so no doubt he contributed to that as well.

  Her mouth watered and she dropped her laptop bag on the end of the couch, thinking she probably wouldn’t be getting much work done tonight. The project was in a place where it could sit overnight without anyone worrying over it, and frankly as the junior engineer in the firm that had been her job more often than not. The sizzle of meat cooking in a skillet filled the kitchen and she kicked off her shoes and padded barefoot toward the smell.

  Travis stood at the stove, dropping sliced onions, mushrooms, and peppers into the skillet. She wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him. “Thank you. It’s amazing to come home to this.” She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek.

  He turned and pulled her close, giving her a quick kiss. “I need to finish cooking. Do whatever you do when you get home. I’ll have dinner ready in about twenty minutes.”

  She kissed him again. “Well normally I cook supper. But thanks. I’ll think of something.” She hurried down the hall and quickly changed her work clothes for something more comfortable. A quick wash of her face and brushing out her hair from its twist and she returned to the kitchen just as Travis plated the meal. She accepted one for him and sat, in a rare move, at her table. “Thanks.”

  “No problem. I’m sorry if I interrupted. I have a week before my next tour and thought I’d come to you this time.”

  She tried not to moan as she took a bite of the juicy chicken smothered with cheese with the sautéed onions, mushrooms, and peppers. “I appreciate it. And I should apologize. I got the call from work and it’s been crazy. A lot of twelve hour or more days. It’s not my fault and my ass isn’t on the line, but let’s just say the person who drew up these plans most likely won’t have a job when this project is done. I’ve been cleaning up the work. But you don’t want to hear about that.” She took another bite of dinner. “I’m glad you’re here.”

  “Me too. Except I can see now that your job is important to you. There’s not much demand for that around the pack’s territory.” Travis ate, though not with as much enthusiasm as she did.

  “You’re worried I won’t want to go with you. That I won’t want to leave my job behind.”

  He nodded. “Lydia—”

  “I’m not her.” Stacia held herself back from jumping across the table and shaking some sense into him. If he wasn’t going to stop comparing her to his former wife, who wasn’t his mate…she bit her lip. “You have to realize that. I’m not her. I’m your mate. And that means a lot of things, but most of all, I’m going to fucking act like it.” She took a deep breath. “Dinner is good. Thank you. Sometimes I get so caught up in work that I don’t eat as I should. But if you’re going to keep comparing me to your former wife, then this may be the last dinner we have together for a while. We have to look to the future, to our relationship, to the fact that finally, after all these years we can enjoy the fact that we’re mates. I care for you deeply, Travis.”

  The “but” after her sentence hung heavily in the air between them. But I can’t be with you if you’re going to compare me to your dead wife. She didn’t want this to be the thing that tore them apart, and yet she couldn’t go on like this. She wasn’t Lydia. She hadn’t even known her. For Travis to constantly compare her to Lydia would only do them both a disfavor. She breathed deeply and took her empty plate to the sink. Though she’d thought about getting seconds, suddenly her appetite left her. She opened her mouth to apologize, to say she was sorry. Except, she couldn’t be sorry about having boundaries and knowing her worth. Not now. Not ever.

  When she returned to the table, she saw Travis really hadn’t moved or eaten any more of his food. “You said you didn’t want your past marriage to come between us. I think you keep putting it there.” Her soft words sounded the peal of a bell, blistering loud in the dining room. “I just want you to know I’ll be here for you when you’ve put it behind you.”

  “You want me to go,” he said. “I’m trying. I really am. It’s just—” He set his fork down and balled his hand into a fist. “Damn it. This is all new. I don’t have a roadmap and all I can do is compare or try to think things out.” He sputtered his words. “Mind if I sleep on your couch tonight? It’s a long drive home. Don’t worry about the food I bought. Enjoy it.” He pushed back from the table. “Never mind. I’ll find a hotel room.”

  “You could ask,” she said, her voice a near whisper. “You could ask me what I want or how we’ll handle things. We’ve known each other for only a week, maybe two, as we are now. We’ve been apart for decades. I know I sought you out, but it wasn’t to fall head over heels in love with you again. It was to meet you again, find out who you are, and then go from there. The love wasn’t something I planned on.”

  “It never is,” he replied, and with those words, grabbed his overnight bag and walked out the door.

  ~* * *~

  Stacia awakened to a horrible headache and puffy eyes from crying all night. Travis’ parting words stung. It never is. Was he talking about her or about Lydia and why was she questioning this? Of course he was talking about her. So if he loved her, then why did he walk out? She hadn’t driven him away? Had she?

  Stacia groaned and flopped back onto the bed, taking the extra pillow and holding it over her face to groan into it. She tossed the pillow aside and fumbled for her phone. When she glanced at the time, she cursed. She was late for work. And no one had contacted her. Shit. Muttering to herself, she jumped out of bed, washed her face, dressed, grabbed her laptop from where she left it and was driving into work. She arrived and slid into her desk five minutes before the owner of the firm arrived to talk to her about the project.

  She couldn’t focus. Not while she talked to the owner, not while she discussed the fixes with the construction crew, and certainly not when the afternoon team meeting complete with bagels and coffee from the cafe down the street, announced that they were finished with the big issue. They’d cleared the emergency. Her boss laid his hand on her shoulder and squeezed. “Thanks for all your hard work. If you want to take the rest of your vacation, you can. In fact, take a few extra days. You saved us a lot of time and money. You earned it.” He patted her on the shoulder and left.

  Stacia sat there, thinking she ought to be bursting with pride. Except all she could think about was that the one person she’d want to share the news with had gone back to his place. It took her only a few moments to shut down her computer, grab her purse and laptop and head back to her apartment. Her empty apartment.

  Memories of their dinner, before the conversation, filled her mind. She dropped her laptop on the couch, kicked off her heels, then went to the bedroom to change into something more comfortable. Her stomach rumbled and she checked the refrigerator. The full shelves hit her like a punch to the gut. Had she been wrong in telling him that he needed to stop comparing her to Lydia? No, she didn’t think so. He’d brought up a good point about jobs, and yet, if they came to the point where she’d be moving in with him, she’d figure something out. Carmen might even have answers. The alliance most likely has projects in mind. Carmen had mentioned they were looking for land for a new headquarters. Instead of looking for solutions, it seemed Travis had just assumed she wouldn’t want to move and had swept the idea aside before she’d even considered it.

  She frowned and grabbed something from the refrigerator. It didn’t take long to get it cooking in the skillet, and even less time to eat it, before going back to her laptop. Even though she was officially on vacation again, working seemed to be what she wanted to do.

  Her phone buzzed. She gla
nced at the caller ID. Carmen. Pasting a smile on her face, she answered, “Hi.”

  “Hi. Wasn’t sure you’d pick up. Thought you might still be at work. Hey, how are things going with Travis?” Carmen asked.

  Stacia thought for a moment. Surely the alpha had seen her second-in-command and knew. Or maybe, like her, he’d thrown himself into his work and hadn’t had time to talk to others. “Not sure,” she admitted truthfully.

  “Thought so. He’s pricklier than a wolf with a thorn in his paw. What happened? I thought you guys were doing so well.” She heard Carmen shuffling something on the other end of the line, then settling down in a chair. “Can I help?”

  Stacia shook her head. “I don’t think so. He kept making decisions based on what Lydia would do and I think he really still has trouble with the circumstances surrounding his previous marriage.”

  Carmen cursed low in her throat. “That was a tough situation. My father wanted us to marry so bad and of course neither one of us wanted to comply. Lydia was…well Lydia. Clingy. Needy. Escaping some kind of bad situation that we still don’t have the information about because when my father as the alpha tried to talk to hers, they cut her off, and in turn our entire pack. That’s not how things were supposed to go, and I think it soured the marriage from there. Travis knew she wasn’t his mate, and yet wanted my dad to get off his ass about marrying me. He knew he couldn’t have you and your parents wouldn’t allow it anyway.” She sighed. “I’m sorry. If there’s anything I can do. I can try to talk to him…”

  “No. That’s okay.” Stacia’s stomach rolled. Getting Carmen involved wouldn’t be good for any of them, and certainly the alpha shouldn’t be put into the middle of this. “I told him that if he was going to keep comparing me to Lydia or making decisions based on what Lydia would have done, then he needed to go. I’m not sure there’s much hope.” Tears stung her eyes and she blinked furiously to keep them from falling.

  “Can I ask what the issue was you guys were discussing?”

  “Jobs. If I moved in with him, he felt there wouldn’t be any civil engineering jobs in the area and I wouldn’t want to move because I wouldn’t be able to commute to this job and there most likely wouldn’t be any new work in my field.”

  “Ahh.” Carmen exhaled and Stacia swore she heard a bit of a smile in the exclamation. “What do you want?”

  “If we get to that place, and let’s be honest, we only have been seeing each other for a couple of weeks tops after a twenty-five year hiatus, then I’d deal. Maybe see what else I want to do. Maybe see if the alliance needs someone for infrastructure projects. Who knows? But for him to dismiss it out of hand—”

  “He was being an alpha, a mate. I’m dealing with it a bit myself, though my mate is a shark. Give him a few days, then talk to him. Don’t wait too long, okay?”

  Stacia agreed not to wait much longer and after a bit more conversation the call ended. Her wolf yipped at the idea that Travis was acting like her mate, but the woman wondered if she could deal with someone who was so heavy handed.

  Chapter Seven

  Travis knew he’d fucked up. All the way home he replayed the conversation over in his head, knowing it could have gone a thousand different ways. He also had to admit that Stacia had been right. Not that he wanted to believe it, but when he thought about all their interactions, the ghost of Lydia always seemed to cast a long shadow. He yelped when the wrench slipped and hit his knuckles. Grease coated his fingers and streaks created a pattern on his old shirt and ratty jeans. His boots were covered in dust and a bit of grime from the day spent working on the boat. Hopefully a few more hours and he’d have the engine put back together.

  He needed a way to reach out to her. After the way they’d parted, he wondered if a phone call would even be welcome. It’d only been a couple of days. He growled as he finally loosened the bolt and the rest of the disassembly went off without a hitch. He replaced the part, then began the tedious process of putting everything back together. Even then, it’d be tomorrow before he hooked up the trailer and pulled the boat outside to see if it ran, and then take it to the ocean and see just how seaworthy it was. Restoring this boat, which had belonged to his father, had been a longstanding hobby of his. With it in running condition again, he’d probably have to find a new project.

  He’d love to take Stacia out in this vessel. Big enough for two, maybe three or four if no one minded being close, it made the perfect day tripping boat between coastal ports. He wouldn’t take it too far out in the ocean, but even for going up to British Columbia, the boat would be more than adequate.

  He’d been an ass and he should call her. He focused on the engine, putting it back together just as his stomach started to rumble for dinner. His phone chimed.

  His heart skipped a beat. Stacia? He looked at it, disappointed to see that it was a text from Carmen wanting to meeting him at the Sandy Anchor tonight. Well, at least that took care of dinner. Thinking that if she were meeting him there, then at least she wouldn’t chew his ass about Stacia, he hurried into the house to shower and change clothes.

  By the time he made it to the Sandy Anchor, he noticed Carmen was already there. He’d texted to see if she’d be in the dining room or her private room; she’d answered the private room. He walked in, noticing the noise level never changed when he went straight for the room. Everyone knew him and with a few waved greetings, it was a pretty normal night. No one asked about Stacia, and he appreciated that.

  He opened the door to find Carmen sitting in her usual spot.

  “I already put our dinner orders in. Sit down. We need to talk,” Carmen said in her “alpha” voice.

  Crap. Apparently she’d talked to Stacia and didn’t like what she’d heard. He nodded, lowering his gaze in a submissive posture to his alpha, and took the chair next to her. “Thanks,” he replied. “Sounds like you talked to Stacia.”

  “I did.” Her cool tone gave nothing away except that she was upset at him.

  “This is all new to me too. My only frame of reference is a dead wife who never was my mate. After she died, I believed I’d never be with my mate again.” Travis struggled to keep his temper in check. He’d had this discussion with Stacia, had gone over this repeatedly in his own mind. His alpha apparently hadn’t learned from her father. He’d been the one to keep her and Stacia apart. She was trying to what—throw them together? He frowned.

  “When Lydia died, why didn’t you seek Stacia out? I think by then my father wouldn’t have cared, and certainly after he died, you know I would have given you permission to leave the pack and take as long as it took. And yes, before you get pissy with me, I have these questions for her too. She could have sought you out at any time. I think I know why she didn’t, and it’s just as stubborn and dumbass an excuse as the one you just gave.” A smile curved her lips. “Two people I like and care about are hurting right now because they’re both too stubborn to see what’s right in front of them. You work out the problems. As time passes, I suspect you’ll think of Lydia less and less, other than a memory. Sometimes pleasant, sometimes not so much. But you forgive yourself and move on. Is it going to take an order from your alpha to make you go after your mate?”

  Her soft words struck something deep inside and he knew she was right. Alpha or not, she spoke the truth about him, about Stacia, about their situation. “No.” His stomach rumbled again. “If it’s okay with my alpha, I’d like to eat dinner first.”

  Carmen laughed and he knew the talk was over. “I’d hate to send you after your mate on an empty stomach.”

  The waiter knocked on the door and Carmen called for him to enter. He carried the tray in, two big cuts of salmon with butter garlic mashed potatoes and steamed mint carrots. A basket of rolls and honey butter was placed between them, and the waiter also brought two big glasses of iced tea. When Carmen waved him away and dug into her dinner, he followed suit.

  For both of them, it didn’t take long to clear their plates and when Carmen put them in the tub l
eft by the door just for that purpose, he knew he had permission to leave. He drove home, a plan forming in his mind. As soon as he got there, he grabbed his overnight bag, still partially packed, and made sure to add three changes of clothes to it. He texted Carmen that he’d be going to Belleview for a few days and got a thumbs up emoji back as a reply. Then, he sat down to make a plan.

  He needed to apologize certainly. Taking her out to a fancy dinner seemed like not enough. Flowers and balloons way too much. A simple apology seemed insufficient, and they’d already talked lately about things. He raked his fingers through his hair. Deciding he needed to do something other than sit there, he pulled his overnight bag into the living room, then went into his office and packed up his laptop. If he were going to be with her for a few days, no doubt he’d probably want to check in with work. The boat and it’s testing, would have to wait. More important things needed to take precedent.

  He thought he heard a car outside. He dismissed it. Others lived on this street and he’d spoken with Carmen. He checked his phone just to make sure she hadn’t texted that she’d be coming over. Nope, no messages. His beast perked up at the prospect of seeing their mate again. Travis tried to tell it to calm down, that a happy ending wasn’t assured here. Yet, the more they talked, the more excited his beast became.

  And then he smelled her.

  Travis stopped in his tracks. Maybe he was imagining it, but the floral scent he associated with his mate grew stronger with every passing moment. He went to the door, had just started to look out the window next to it when a knock sounded.

  No way. He had to be imagining things. Just to be sure, he pulled the curtain back, his breath catching when he saw Stacia standing on his stoop.

  He opened the door, almost speechless. “Come in,” he managed to say.

  She stepped inside and he closed the door behind her. “Hi. I wanted to see you.” She glanced around, her gaze landing on his bag. “Are you going somewhere?”