Amber is bouncing up and down in the living room when I return. "I love going to the cabin. There's a hot tub and hiking trails. Aren't you excited?"
She's perfect for Teddy. Both of them exude a sweetness I've never encountered before. She waits patiently for me to say something, and I remember she asked me a question.
"Oh, yeah. I'm excited, but I don't have a suit." I didn't have any clothes really. Everything I've been wearing used to be Sin's. All of my clothes from school were tossed out when I arrived at my father's home and replaced by frilly nightmares that would fit a princess.
"Don't be mad," she begins.
I frown. "Nothing good ever starts like that."
She grabs some bags sitting by the couch. "My aunt owns a boutique on the pier that caters to tourists. When some of the stock doesn't sell, she lets me have first pick. I've chosen so much over the last couple of years I don't even have room for most of it. Ford mentioned you lost most of your things and that's why you moved out here with your brother."
I nod. I'm not sure where the story comes from, but as far as backstories go, it's plausible. "Yeah, it was pretty sudden, and I was going to fix it yesterday, but then I fell and hit my head. But, I can't take your things."
"Oh, you most definitely can. In fact, I need you to. My mom is making me decide what doesn't give me joy or some crap and will start deciding what she doesn't like if I don't. I haven't even worn these."
"She's not joking. There are piles of clothes all over her room. Tessa and I don't even go shopping anymore, other than in Amber's room," Jen joins the conversation.
"It's an illness. She can't help herself. Her aunt has more money than sense, and when it comes to spoiling our little Amber, she literally piles it on. I think the fact it annoys her older sister is a big part of it too," Tessa adds.
"Well, in that case, thank you," I say, and take the bags.
"I still need to grab some things out of my apartment," I grumble.
"Teddy and I will go," Amber volunteers.
"I don't know about that," I hedge. Honestly, I don't know my brother well, but I can add the fact he doesn't like surprises to what I do know about him. My hand flutters up to my head, and my eyes find Ford. His scowl says everything. Either I let them go, or he goes.
"They'll be fine," Sin whispers, having quietly moved next to me.
"Okay," I relent.
"Get enough clothes to last them more than a few days," Ford commands. "Ted, get Jackson's clothes while you're up there too, please."
I don't realize I'm shaking until Sin's hands land on my shoulders. "You aren't ready to see him yet." His voice is quiet and meant for only me.
"No, I don't think I am," I answer in the same tone.
Teddy and Amber are efficient and return in under twenty minutes. They bring the bags straight to the large Suburban Amber borrowed from her aunt. It's lucky we have access to a vehicle that will actually fit all of us, because Ford said it would take a little over an hour to reach the cabin.
"Come sit back here with us, so the guys can talk about whatever," Amber says, patting the seat next to her in the back row.
It's a tight squeeze with all four of us girls sitting together, but it’s the only way all eight of us will fit. Shane and Teddy take the front leaving Ford and Sin to take the middle.
When the city is behind us, Sin's head bobs a few times and he falls asleep. I know this is rare, because he barely dozed off on our drive from Devil's Crossing. My chest aches realizing he's exhausted from watching over me all night.
Amber starts bouncing in her seat as soon as we begin to climb into the mountains. Her excitement is infectious, and soon everyone is fidgeting ready to start the weekend.
Shane turns off the main road, taking a dirt path barely wide enough for the SUV. It's bumpy, and the jostling brings back some of the nausea I felt the day before, but I manage to control my breathing to keep from being sick in the car. Thankfully, it only takes a few minutes for him to pull up in front of a large log cabin.
My mouth falls open when I see the sprawling cabin. It has a main section with the typical A-frame roof, but extends to wings on either side. The metal roof has solar panels that sparkle along with the large windows on the front of the building.
"What did you expect, a shack with an outhouse?" Tessa teases.
At my birthday party I picked up on hostility from her. It's clear she has a thing for Ford, though he seems to run hot and cold with her. However, after Sin and I shared a bed last night, she seems to have warmed up to me.
Ford is beautiful, and I wish I liked him as more than a friend. He would be the smart choice. A man I stood a chance at having a normal life with. But, fuck normal. I've just learned I'm the daughter of a crime lord who buys and sells children. I've been groomed since I was a child to be sold as a virgin bride to further his political aspirations. There's no way I will ever have a typical life, and no point in pulling someone like Ford into my darkness.
Not that Sin is an option either. It's clear my brother would try and prevent us from being together, even if Sin wanted to. His hooking up with Jess showed me he doesn't. Yeah, when he's unconscious his body seeks mine, but when he's awake he seems to want to be as far away from me as possible.
"Alice? Were you listening?" Tessa interrupts my internal monologue.
I give her a slight smile. "Sorry, my head is still foggy. I think I zoned out for a bit."
Her smile is laced with sympathy. Nothing like head trauma to make people feel bad for you. "I was saying that there's five bedrooms. Since you and I are the single gals here, would you like to share a room with me? One of the bedrooms is set up for Shane's cousins and has bunk beds. I'll take the top so we don't have to worry about you getting dizzy or falling."
I fight to keep the smile on my face. Truth be told, I look forward to sleep, because it's the only time Sin lets me in. Saying so would potentially ruin that little bit of him I get to have, so I nod in agreement.
Everyone pitches in to unload the car, but no one will let me carry anything. Not even my backpack of clothes. With seven people unloading though, it doesn't take long.
The guys immediately set to starting an older charcoal grill. All four of them stand around discussing the best way to stack the briquettes and methods to light it.
Jen approaches me and puts her arm around my shoulders. "What is it about fire that fascinates men so much?"
"Fire is pretty and powerful," I mumble.
She shrugs. "Sure, but do all four of them need to figure out how to start a grill?"
"Probably not," I agree.
"Well, while they are trying to light that fire, what do you say we start another kind?" She waggles her eyebrows.
I know my confusion is written in my expression, because Tessa comes over and clarifies. "Bikinis babe. There's a hot tub that I know is ready to go, because we were just here last weekend."
Amber claps her hands. "Oooh! I can't wait to see you in the suit I grabbed for you." She grabs my hand and pulls me through the cabin. It's hard to keep up with her, not just because I'm fairly short, but also the girl seems to run on jet fuel.
Jen hands me a razor when we get in the room and pushes me toward the bathroom. "Everywhere, feel me? You'll thank me later." She winks and shuts me inside the room.
The razor isn't necessary. I have always endured appointments set for me to be waxed and polished everywhere since I started high school. Since most of the girls I went to school with did the same, I never questioned it. Also, it was nice to leave the campus on occasion. Now, looking at it in a different light turns my stomach. I wonder if my father always planned to sell me into marriage. I'll likely never know the answer to that.
16
Solace
Raven
The red bikini Amber chose for me is more like a couple of scraps of material tied together. It sits low on my hips, tied on both sides. On top two triangle shaped bits of material tie around the neck and back. My breasts
aren't large, but they aren't small either, and yet this miracle suit seems to fit.
The three other girls emerge in similarly skimpy bathing suits. Amber's has a bandeau top and is a soft pink, matching her pale complexion. Tessa's suit is cut like mine, only in white and shows off her tanned skin. Jen's is the least risqué; it's a bra top with regular bikini bottoms. I'm confident enough to stand next to them, and butterflies launch in my stomach anticipating the moment the guys see us.
Will Sin watch me, or will he have eyes for Tessa? She's beautiful, and not me. I don't think I could watch him flirt with her. If he does, though, I'll bear it. He's not mine, and I have no right to object to what he does. I have pride. I'll find another place to sleep if he picks up other girls, but I have no right to tell him he can't.
There's a deck along the back of the cabin. One side is slightly elevated, and that is where the grill and picnic table are located. The hot tub is on the other side, and we move towards it holding our towels.
Shane whistles when we emerge and rushes over to kiss Jen. She blushes and playfully shoves him away. "Go make fire, caveman."
"I'll bring you meat, woman," he grunts.
Tessa makes a gagging noise. "Why does everything they say somehow sound dirty?" she asks Amber and me.
Shane chooses to answer her instead. "It's a talent."
Demonstrating this skill, he stares at Jen, heat smoldering in his eyes. "Go get wet for me."
Over his shoulder, I see Sin move around the grill, and I recognize the moment he sees me. His body goes tense, and his fists clench at his sides. I expect him to order me back into the house to change, but like he promised, he doesn't tell me what to do.
Tess and Amber pull the covering off the hot tub, and after fiddling with some dials, jets kick on. The air in the mountains is chillier than in the city, and even though it's only early in the afternoon, my skin is covered in goosebumps.
The hot water is exquisite as I lower my body into the frothing tub. Pains I didn't even realize I had start to unkink, and a moan pushes past my lips.
Even to my ears it sounded sexual, and I risk a glance at the guys, embarrassed I let out such a sound. Ford is smirking, and Sin looks even more pissed than when I came out in this suit.
"He wants you bad," Jen whispers to me.
I roll my eyes. "He wants to throttle me, more like."
"You should let him," Tessa teases. "Even if it's a one off, Jess can't stop talking about his giant dick. If you aren't going to, I might."
I grimace and choose to ignore her saying she might go for him. It isn't my place to cockblock him, even if I want to. "Even if he were interested, that right there is reason enough not to let him?"
Tessa scrunches up her face. "Because he has a horse cock? I mean, yeah, you'd be walking funny for a day or two, but worth it."
"Uhh, no," I say and can't fight the awkward laugh bubbling up. "Because he seems to treat his dick like a carnival attraction."
She nods, getting my point. "Okay, yeah. Everyone getting a ride is less appealing, but it could also mean the man's got skills."
"And probably an STD," I mutter.
We all laugh and silently agree to change the topic. I zone out while they gossip and talk about classes. They try and keep me in the loop, but my eyes start to close, and they let me rest listening to the sounds of their chatter. It's soothing in a way I've never felt before.
I'm shaken awake after a while, and a frowning Sin holds out my towel for me to wrap myself in. "You shouldn't sleep in the hot tub."
He doesn't offer his hand, so I climb out on my own. The air is cool on my wet skin, steam streaming away from my body, but he doesn't move closer to give me the towel. Sin pretends to be unaffected by me, but I don't miss the way his eyes lazily travel down my body.
The pained look on his face tells me he likes what he sees, and he isn't happy about it. He finally thrusts the towel at me, careful not to let our hands touch. "Cover up," he grits out.
I take the towel and wrap it around my body. Part of me wants to ignore him, but I'm cold. My nipples are painfully hard and thrusting against the fabric of my top. Each brush of the fabric causes a mix of pleasure and pain, creating an ache I won't find relief from here.
Sin remains grouchy and closed off the rest of the evening. His mood isn't my responsibility, so I engross myself in mindless chatter with the girls. Ford gives me sympathetic glances, picking up on the tension between Sin and I.
After I excuse myself to use the bathroom, I find Ford alone inside the house loading the dishwasher. It really is too bad I can't summon feelings for him. He smiles at me, and I have to admit, it has an impact. Not the blinding need I often feel for Sin, but I could grow to have feelings for him.
"You okay, pretty girl?"
My smile is weak, we both know it, but he doesn't call me on it. "My head is feeling a lot better, but I've got a little bit of a headache," I say pretending he was asking how I was feeling.
He doesn't let me off the hook this time. "Not what I was asking, but good to know. You know his issues don't have to be yours, don't you?"
He looks around to make sure we're alone. "I know you've been dealt a shitty hand. I can't imagine how scared you are to be found, but I want you to know you've got options."
Using his knuckles, he brushes against my cheek, and continues the caress until his fingers are in my hair. Slowly, he pushes my hair behind my ear. I shiver, it's been so long since a man has purposefully touched me, and I lean into it.
A soft smile graces his full lips, and I wonder what they would feel like on my skin. Yes, maybe I do have options.
"If you ever need an escape, I'm here. I'd move heaven and earth to keep you safe."
"Ford," I sigh. His voice sounds like a plea on my lips, but I'm not sure what I'm begging him for. To stop? To never stop?
He shakes his head. "I know you have feelings for him. I also know what it is like to want someone you can't have. At a certain point, you've got to choose yourself, pretty girl."
The spell between us is interrupted when Shane strolls through with a giggling Jen tossed over his shoulder. He slaps her ass, and she laughs harder. "Peace out, fuckers. Stay out of the attic, we're busy."
Amber runs through the house next, with Teddy chasing after her. Even their flirting is energetic.
The clock on the stove lets me know how late it has grown. Still, I'm not ready to sleep. Ford reads my hesitance to go to the room I'm going to share with Tessa and reaches past me to grab some items from the cabinet. His chest, more muscular than I'd realized, brushes my front.
He doesn't miss the sound of me sucking in a breath and smirks down at me. I lick my lips. There's no point in denying I find him attractive. We both know there's someone else taking space in my head.
"Don't get cocky," I rasp. "You know you're hot. I can be attracted to you and still not plan to act on it."
That cocky smirk grows larger, and I realize I've just thrown down a challenge. "Maybe not yet, but you do think I'm hot."
I laugh and push him away. "Show me what you got out of the cabinet, hot stuff."
He winks, and I shake my head at him. From behind me he produces marshmallows and a chocolate bar. "Grab the graham crackers. I'm not ready to sleep yet either, and it looks like most of the house will be fucking. I say we let that shit burn out before we try and share walls, yeah?"
It occurs to me, two people are still missing, but knowing Sin, he's probably prowling the woods looking for somewhere to smoke in peace.
We pull up some chairs by the fire pit, and he hands me one of the sticks to roast my marshmallow. Busy making my s’more I don't see them at first. Not until a quiet moan draws my attention.
Through the flickering light of the fire, I see Tessa straddling Sin, who's sitting on the bench in the corner away from us. She rocks back and forth. The dress she changed into is pushed up to her waist, and her movements make it clear she's bare under the dress.
Sin's fis
t is in her hair, while he looks up at the sky. There's almost a blankness to his expression, but a tightness as if he's angry at the pleasure he's experiencing.
Ford notices them after me. His relaxed mood changes in an instant, and he tenses. Gently, he turns my face toward his. "Don't watch," he whispers.
A strangled sound escapes my throat, but no words come out. I'm not even sure what I was trying to say.
"I understand," he says, leveling his eyes with mine.
"Tessa?" I ask.
He nods.
"I thought the two of you were–" Together? No, he seems like the type to go all in to a relationship. But, it did seem like they were something.
"She's my step-sister. The fucked up part is, I don't care. We're both adults, neither of us live at home, but it bothers her. She pulls me in, and like a sucker, I follow her every time, but as soon as she realizes she's it for me, she shoves me away."
"I'm sorry she treats you like that." I understand what he was saying earlier. We need to choose ourselves at a certain point. It isn't the same, but fuck, anything is better than this feeling of my heart being ripped from my chest.
"I'm sorry he treats you like this."
I open my mouth, but he quiets me with a finger against my lips. "Don't tell me he doesn't owe you anything. I've seen the way the two of you sleep. He knows he's confusing you, and this is how he chooses to send you a message."
He licks his lips. "Let's not give them our pain. They want to send us a message, so let's show them we got it."
This is a bad idea. I don't want to be like them, he's just as wounded as I am in this moment. Taking him up on this offer could cost me a friend.
"Stop thinking," he whispers against my mouth.
Sin's grunts are now mixing with her moans, and I can't pretend I'm not seeing what I'm seeing. He chose her, not me. He'll never choose me, and it's time I did.
My mouth slams against Ford's. It's an angry kiss, both of us pouring our pain into each other. He picks me up, and I wrap my legs around his waist.
As we move, I see the moment Sin sees me in Ford's arms. His eyes narrow, but I'm so fucking done. Behind Ford's back I flip him off.
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